Ashar

I'm not sure where to start this post. I started a thread a few weeks ago that got erased when the site crashed.

I was four months sober when my 32-year-old son committed suicide on October 27, two months after finding his father's body after his father's suicide. My two grown daughters' cruel behavior at the time of my son's death compounded an already nightmarish situation.

I started drinking again in early November. During the month of November, I drank about once a week, never at home and never alone, as had been my habit for years. In December, I went two and a half weeks without a drink, then my husband and I celebrated my birthday with drinks at a restaurant. Night before last I drank martinis, again in a restaurant, and I had my first blackout ever. Yesterday, I felt too dizzy to even stand up. Today, I wonder if I will be able to quit drinking again. It's much harder this time. I am so discouraged. I don't want to be sucked into the abyss of alcoholism again. I was much happier and healthier without it.

I wonder if it's possible to find the strength to quit again after a relapse.

CarolD

Many of us had false starts on our recovery journey.
The quicker you quit again, the easier it will be.
As you noted...your alcoholism is progressing.

In early sobriety, I avoided dining out in french restaurants.
For me French food=French wine.
Later on I did return to my favorite treats
but went with fellow AA members.
Thus...I made a new sober healthy memory.

I am pleased to see you here a again
Blessings to you and your family

Jersey Nonny

You've certainly had a rough several months...it can't have been easy for you. And, the reaction of your daughters may have been anger, or their own way of dealing with grief...everyone handles such dire situations differently.

You were able to quit drinking before, so whatever you did then...double your efforts. Perhaps a combination of AA meetings, plus some serious grief counseling would be worth looking into. You definitely need a strong support group...but, keep posting here at SR and letting us know how you're doing.

Hugs and prayers.

jdrunk

I am very sorry for your loss. There is no timeline, no one is chasing you, it is better to quit today than tomorrow. That will give you one more better day in your life. Build memories, and great memories starting today. Quit today, for yourself, or find a reason to quit. Do whatever it takes. Just quit it.

Rowan

I am very sorry for your losses. I relapsed twice with booze and once with pills - I know how hard it is to come back - but it IS possible. Please give yourself the gift of sobriety.

Dee74

I'm so sorry for what's happened in your life recently, but I believe recovery is always possible Ashar, when we work at it.

D

Jomey

Deepest condolences, Ashar, I truly can not imagine the grief you have suffered. But one is always better off sober...don't lose any precious memories through drink...give that very special gift to yourself. We are all here for you. Peace to you.

dave47

Welcome Ashar and very sorry to hear of your recent loss and troubles.If you really want to quit again then anythings possible.Take whatever help and support is available,the people here are very good and there will always be someone with advice and support,God bless.

awake121207

I am very sorry to hear about what you have gone through. I can only imagine how hard a time this has been for you.

I believe it is possible to find the strength to quit again after a relapse, in fact I am counting on it because I am doing the same. I am 12 days sober, but this is not my first period of sobriety.

Like others have said, find strength and support where you can, but also never let yourself believe that you have somehow run out of chances.

Peace to you.

LauraSFO1

What a heartbreaking story. I am so sorry for your losses. I'll pray for you and your family.

sweetnovember

I think grief counseling is critical to your mental state now. You may not be wanting to drink so much as wanting to get rid of the pain. A qualified grief counselor should be able to help. If you can't afford to see a counselor than contact local Hospice agencies and they usually have free support services for the community since they are non-profit organizations.