How to quit again
I'm not sure where to start this post. I started a thread a few weeks ago that got erased when the site crashed.
I was four months sober when my 32-year-old son committed suicide on October 27, two months after finding his father's body after his father's suicide. My two grown daughters' cruel behavior at the time of my son's death compounded an already nightmarish situation.
I started drinking again in early November. During the month of November, I drank about once a week, never at home and never alone, as had been my habit for years. In December, I went two and a half weeks without a drink, then my husband and I celebrated my birthday with drinks at a restaurant. Night before last I drank martinis, again in a restaurant, and I had my first blackout ever. Yesterday, I felt too dizzy to even stand up. Today, I wonder if I will be able to quit drinking again. It's much harder this time. I am so discouraged. I don't want to be sucked into the abyss of alcoholism again. I was much happier and healthier without it.
I wonder if it's possible to find the strength to quit again after a relapse.