Raped
Raped 
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
i just sent you a message before i saw this post.
you gotta get into treatment, wiscgirl. or involved in aa. please, give it a try? i worry about you like i worry about my daughter - you are so vulnerable when you black out...
hugs, k
you gotta get into treatment, wiscgirl. or involved in aa. please, give it a try? i worry about you like i worry about my daughter - you are so vulnerable when you black out...
hugs, k
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Wiscgirl - I am so sorry about what happened to you. Please get help - get a doctor's checkup (STDs, etc. - sorry to be so forward but I am worried for you) and please don't hate yourself. You are among friends here - we love you no matter how you feel about yourself. Let our care and concern guide you right now to whatever is the best way to get help - AA, doctors, councellor, whatever. Hope & healing to you!
I'm a Pickle
Thread Starter
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 300
I dont even know if it was rape. I know that I slept with him. I was scared of him. I went out of the house and called someone to pick me up on the street. I dont know what it was. All know is I am stupid and yea, I feel disgusting. I did go home with him...so I guess it is my fault. I dont have my freaking phone. I dont have my car. I just am pathetic.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Hon at this point in time you really need to do a couple of things, if you KNOW you were raped and who did it then you need to call the police, if you don't you will basically be raping his next victim.
Second you need to do as odaat suggested and go to a rape crisis center.
To stop this from happening again due to drinking you need to see your doctor and get into some sort of treatment followed by AA or some other long term face to face support group.
Rape is a very common part of many recovered female alcoholics, today they have moved on beyond that and are sober and happy. I can assure you that if you went to a womens only meeting of AA and shared what has happened to you that there will be more then one woman who has been through the same thing that will take you by the hand and help you through this.
You are only alone in this if you choose to be, there are women out there in the rooms just waiting for YOU to walk through that door to where you can help them stay sober by them helping you get and stay sober!
Second you need to do as odaat suggested and go to a rape crisis center.
To stop this from happening again due to drinking you need to see your doctor and get into some sort of treatment followed by AA or some other long term face to face support group.
Rape is a very common part of many recovered female alcoholics, today they have moved on beyond that and are sober and happy. I can assure you that if you went to a womens only meeting of AA and shared what has happened to you that there will be more then one woman who has been through the same thing that will take you by the hand and help you through this.
You are only alone in this if you choose to be, there are women out there in the rooms just waiting for YOU to walk through that door to where you can help them stay sober by them helping you get and stay sober!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: England
Posts: 441
Hun if you have been raped, and your asking yourself the questions if you were raped then unfortuntely you probably were.
You aren't pathetic, and nor is it your fault. It doesn't matter if you had been drinking or not, no one is allowed to have unconsensual sex, even if you go back to there house, you sit in there bedroom..it doesn't give them the right to have sex with you.
I think the law is also changing or has changed...if a person is not able to make the decision to have sex due to drink or drugs, then its classed as rape. There was a case recentely and the girl was able to prosecute her rapist...
So its not ur fault.
You have been given some good advice, get to the doctors/hospital you need for you own health to have the checks even if you decide not to report it.
I can relate to how you are feeling as I was drug raped in 2005, I hid away, and didn't deal with it..so the feelings grow bigger and stronger the harder I tried to push it away, the more depressed I became. If you can start talking to someone about how last night made you feel, you will regain power and control.
Thinking of you.xxxx
You aren't pathetic, and nor is it your fault. It doesn't matter if you had been drinking or not, no one is allowed to have unconsensual sex, even if you go back to there house, you sit in there bedroom..it doesn't give them the right to have sex with you.
I think the law is also changing or has changed...if a person is not able to make the decision to have sex due to drink or drugs, then its classed as rape. There was a case recentely and the girl was able to prosecute her rapist...
So its not ur fault.
You have been given some good advice, get to the doctors/hospital you need for you own health to have the checks even if you decide not to report it.
I can relate to how you are feeling as I was drug raped in 2005, I hid away, and didn't deal with it..so the feelings grow bigger and stronger the harder I tried to push it away, the more depressed I became. If you can start talking to someone about how last night made you feel, you will regain power and control.
Thinking of you.xxxx
I'm a Pickle
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 300
Im not sure I was raped. I know I was afraid, but I dont know why. I am wishing my friend would call me to tell me what I told her last night, cuz I cant remember the whole situation. Did I sleep with him willingly? I dont know. All I know is I felt I needed to get away. But that could have just been my altered state of mind. I really dont know. I just cant believe I am 32 years old and keep doing the same old crap. I told parent recovers that I could be one of those girls they find murdered by the river, which happens in Wisconsin way too much... and no one would even know who I left with or what the hell happened to me. When I go out with my friend I always go out with (same girl all the time it seems...we are bad for each other) we both drink till oblivian and both black out. Not looking out for each other. It is sooo dangerous. I have walked home in the winter with no shoes. I could freeze to death. I get so drunk and out of my mind that I honestly dont know what I am doing at ALL. I could easily wander into the woods somewhere or something and freeze to death. I know all this...yet I still do it...thinking "this time" I wont get so drunk.....
wiscgirl. Please take everyone's advice and begin to take care of you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Newark New Jersey
Posts: 38
It's not your fault
Originally Posted by wiscgirl30 
I dont even know if it was rape. I know that I slept with him. I was scared of him. I went out of the house and called someone to pick me up on the street. I dont know what it was. All know is I am stupid and yea, I feel disgusting. I did go home with him...so I guess it is my fault. I dont have my freaking phone. I dont have my car. I just am pathetic.
Your friend
Sneakers,: Val004:
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
O hun. My heart goes out to you. That's right - it's not your fault.
I did all that. Never even remembering how I got home or who the man was. More than once it was with nutters. If I didn't get away early enough, I would have to try to get home in the morning but by then I was too sick.
I think my Higher Power was watching out for me and I think your's has been too. When I stopped putting the alcohol into my body, I stopped being in that sort of danger.
You have had some really good advice. I hope you decide to stop drinking and join us in a new life.
I did all that. Never even remembering how I got home or who the man was. More than once it was with nutters. If I didn't get away early enough, I would have to try to get home in the morning but by then I was too sick.
I think my Higher Power was watching out for me and I think your's has been too. When I stopped putting the alcohol into my body, I stopped being in that sort of danger.
You have had some really good advice. I hope you decide to stop drinking and join us in a new life.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: England
Posts: 441
If you were afraid, then even if you said yes you were clearly in no state to actually say yes and know what you said yes to.
Hun, I really feel you need to speak to someone urgently as this will keep playing on your mind and will send you over the top ~ I have been there, I left it 3 months before speaking to someone, I went into self destruction mode and brokedown on the 30th January 2006 and ended up in hospital. If I can stop or help anyone ending up how I did then I will.
I'm not trying to scare you, i'm just trying to be honest.
Please get the help you deserve and need, you need to do this for you as you are more then worth it.
Thinking of you (and I really am)
xxxxx
Hun, I really feel you need to speak to someone urgently as this will keep playing on your mind and will send you over the top ~ I have been there, I left it 3 months before speaking to someone, I went into self destruction mode and brokedown on the 30th January 2006 and ended up in hospital. If I can stop or help anyone ending up how I did then I will.
I'm not trying to scare you, i'm just trying to be honest.
Please get the help you deserve and need, you need to do this for you as you are more then worth it.
Thinking of you (and I really am)
xxxxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 302
i'm so sorry you had to go through that. i can't speak from experience but i can only imagine the pain and terror. i hope you are able to get some help and get to some AA. taalking to everyone here really helps so keep us posted 
I'm a Pickle
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 300
I have my AODA appt on Monday. I will tell her everything. I am waiting for my friend to tell me what I told her happened last night and I will keep you updated if you want. I have to work tonight and tomorrow, but maybe will try for an AA meeting on Friday. My regular counselor also gave me the name and number of a woman who is in AA and I will call her maybe this weekend. Im sure you all get so frustrated with me..... Thank you for being here....
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