Jules62

Try not to faint-LOL.

I do not like the idea of sponsors-and I have some issues with A.A in general-but I just feel the need to 'out' myself and get support from others like me.My biggest fear used to be I'd see someone there that I know but I am so over that now.I think it was a way of hiding.I've been scared to go to meetings because what if I relapse?What if the people at the local meeting then see me walking into the local wine shop if I fall? What would they think?

In a way-I'm seeing that by isolating myself like this I'm making it easier to relapse.I'm so tired of being quiet about this.I just want to cross that line and stop carrying the weight of this on my own.

I'm not sure how involved I'll get-I am wary of alot of it-but I'm trying to put my pride aside and do something to help myself.I'm nervous about it-but I'm determined to go.God help me walk through that door.(really)

Jules.

Anna

Jules, I think you should do whatever it takes for you to stop drinking.

Let us know how you make out.

Astro

Let go, let God, and he will help you through that door. Jules, I'm thrilled to hear that you're going and hope it'll be a positive experience for you. Reach out and I promise you'll get support in return.

rloomer

Jules I think you should not doubt yourself so much. you just sound so unsure.

I remember when I first got here you were one of the people who reached out to me. You are such a strong minded person and should keep that in mind at all times.

Good luck and just remember that nothing bad ever came out of checking out a meeting or two.


Rob

CarolD

Good plan....

Just go and listen ...you do not have to say a word
unless you choose to.

Let us know how the meeting went..k?

stone

Hi Jules, this is great!

I was very anti-AA myself until I was so desperate I went along to a meeting.

You can make AA what you want, dont let the big book thumpers put you off (even if they are right sometimes lol).

I hope you like cliches!

Dee74

OK I want to make jokes about bundling you into a van and shouting DRIVE DRIVE...

but...this is a good thing.

Getting 'it' out there is the thing that stopped me going back in the days before the self esteem kicked in....

I'm so very proud of you J.

D

rloomer

good point Stone,

You don't have to say anything I still don't talk. This right here is the place I can go to talk. People can't look in my eyes and see the pain.

But I can go and just listen, and do you know I take a little bit out of every meeting.
Something someone said, or I'm reminded of why I quit.

Keep strong and good luck

kelsh

Face to Face meetings had to be for me. I needed daily reminders that I wanted to be sober and how I could get and stay sober. I attended many more meetings than 90 meetings in 90 days. That is what it took for me the first year. I am 19 years down that road now but still one drink away from a drunk and certain death if I should take that first drink.

kelsh

rloomer

Actually I think that was Carol's point.

Sorry Carol, Don't be mad at me

stone

Yes, that is a very powerful thing.

Good luck Jules! All thats happening is you are walking into a room and meeting people like yourself.

Jules62

Thanks everyone.

I'm scared about it but determined to go.I know I need support apart from here.I'm just going to have the attitude of taking what I want and leaving the rest.I'll be as open as I can to everything I hear(and it's ok stoney-I think I've heard every A.A cliche around-LOL but thanks for making me laugh!)

Thank you all for being so encouraging.I will let you know how it goes.The meeting isn't till 8pm tonight and it's only mid day here right now

Julesxox

tanyapmc

Jules.......I too was turned off to AA in the beginning. Then I spent the next 20 years trying not to be one of "them". Now I have fallen in love with the people and the fellowship. Let us know how it was.

Jules62

Thanks Tanya.Actually-I'm past not wanting to be 'one of them'(but it was very real for me in the beginning too-a few months ago)

One of my main reasons for going is so I CAN openly say I'm one of them-well-us really And that feels good despite my fear.Wish me luck!

rloomer

Best of luck Jules. We're all behind you. You're strong enough you can do this:Weightlif

Rowan

Hi Jules,

I'm one of the ones who nearly fainted when I saw this thread lol.

I understand why you haven't gone until now. And yet I'm glad you had a change of heart and are open to going.

I can't wait to hear what your experience is like. I'll never forget my first meeting.

Row xo

Jules62

Thanks Ro-I knew you'd faint-LOL. And yeah-you know the history of my journey to get to this point better than most.If my father finds out?I'll deal with it as it happens.I can't let that stop me anymore.(amongst other things)

Thank you for all your love and support.You've been behind me all the way and I love you for that and many other reasons.I'll post about it tomorrow-probably won't have time tonight.

Love, Julesxox

angie9

Hey Jules good on you Im on my fifth meeting myself and I still find it a bit hard ( not good with people face to face get all shy which ticks me off I thought at my age I would of got over it! The more you go to the meetings it does get easier, it is so good to listen to other people talking about their lives and struggles, you can relate and see yourself in the stories people are saying I wish I lived closer I would of come with you.
take care Ang

Jules62

Wish you did live closer ang-I'd love the company

Hope you're doing ok too and congrats on 7 days!

Love, Julesxox

barb dwyer

way to go, Jules! I'm proud to ya!