House full of alcohol - I don't think I'm going to make it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 21
LOL - No sleep for me, but I am SO looking forward to it. Wish it rained here. We need it (at least my petunias do) and I love rainy days, especially when it really pours.
Going to sleep at a normal time would be so nice... I keep thinking about the clean sheets and Perrier thing.
How are you doing Barb?
Going to sleep at a normal time would be so nice... I keep thinking about the clean sheets and Perrier thing.
How are you doing Barb?
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
doing well, thanks! missed the meeting - I've been missing quite a few this week cuz of the smoke and lack of initiative - so some gals from my home group came over tonight ... I love this group.
almost everyone in town got sick with all the smoke from the fires.
same thing - cough/sore throat/ nausea ... no energy (no oxygen, probly) burning eyes and throat.
and grey cats.
they're supposed to be white.
but these days - grey.
almost everyone in town got sick with all the smoke from the fires.
same thing - cough/sore throat/ nausea ... no energy (no oxygen, probly) burning eyes and throat.
and grey cats.
they're supposed to be white.
but these days - grey.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Mary alice, KY
Posts: 122
Kristy,
Alcohol is so much different than your run of the mill pain pills. With alcohol you havr to be very aware of dt's. Sweetie they will kill you. It is a proven fact. I'm not trying to scare you into going back to drinling but I just want you to take care of yourself. There are meds that will help with the dt's such as ativan. Just for a few days the ativan will keep you from having seizures. If you have a family doctor that you can trust...talk to this person or someonethat can help you through the first week or so. I live in KY...if we were close I would write you a script to get keep you from tripping. Stay sober babe...there is nothing like it in this world...I don't know about the next.
Viki
Alcohol is so much different than your run of the mill pain pills. With alcohol you havr to be very aware of dt's. Sweetie they will kill you. It is a proven fact. I'm not trying to scare you into going back to drinling but I just want you to take care of yourself. There are meds that will help with the dt's such as ativan. Just for a few days the ativan will keep you from having seizures. If you have a family doctor that you can trust...talk to this person or someonethat can help you through the first week or so. I live in KY...if we were close I would write you a script to get keep you from tripping. Stay sober babe...there is nothing like it in this world...I don't know about the next.
Viki
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Mary alice, KY
Posts: 122
Kristy,
Alcohol is so much different than your run of the mill pain pills. With alcohol you havr to be very aware of dt's. Sweetie they will kill you. It is a proven fact. I'm not trying to scare you into going back to drinling but I just want you to take care of yourself. There are meds that will help with the dt's such as ativan. Just for a few days the ativan will keep you from having seizures. If you have a family doctor that you can trust...talk to this person or someonethat can help you through the first week or so. I live in KY...if we were close I would write you a script to get keep you from tripping. Stay sober babe...there is nothing like it in this world...I don't know about the next.
Viki
Alcohol is so much different than your run of the mill pain pills. With alcohol you havr to be very aware of dt's. Sweetie they will kill you. It is a proven fact. I'm not trying to scare you into going back to drinling but I just want you to take care of yourself. There are meds that will help with the dt's such as ativan. Just for a few days the ativan will keep you from having seizures. If you have a family doctor that you can trust...talk to this person or someonethat can help you through the first week or so. I live in KY...if we were close I would write you a script to get keep you from tripping. Stay sober babe...there is nothing like it in this world...I don't know about the next.
Viki
Last edited by Viki; 08-18-2007 at 11:41 PM. Reason: 2 posts were sent
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 38
Hi Kristy,
I hope that you are doing okay. I'm sober one week today, and I am so glad that I made this decision.
You mentioned that you were thinking about the clean sheets and Perrier. You know, I am just realizing how truly cruel I have been to myself. Just about everything that I did to myself was self-destructive.
I'm finding that the slogan, "fake it till you make it" really has a lot of merit. If I do nice things for myself, even if I don't feel that I deserve them, I begin to feel good, and that leads me to believe that I deserve to live a good life. So, if I am feeling worthy of that, I am less likely to jeopardize it by doing something stupid like take a drink.
There is only one person who can decide what the quality of your life will be, and you are looking at her everytime you stand in front of a mirror. I spent far too many mornings looking at a drawn and haggard face whose bloodshot eyes looked back at me with disgust and despair. That woman is not who I really am. She held me hostage for most of my life, but I am determined to be free of her, and I am willing to do whatever is required to make sure that I never see that face again.
I'm thinking of you. Take care of yourself; you are worth it.
Peace to you,
Cekiya
I hope that you are doing okay. I'm sober one week today, and I am so glad that I made this decision.
You mentioned that you were thinking about the clean sheets and Perrier. You know, I am just realizing how truly cruel I have been to myself. Just about everything that I did to myself was self-destructive.
I'm finding that the slogan, "fake it till you make it" really has a lot of merit. If I do nice things for myself, even if I don't feel that I deserve them, I begin to feel good, and that leads me to believe that I deserve to live a good life. So, if I am feeling worthy of that, I am less likely to jeopardize it by doing something stupid like take a drink.
There is only one person who can decide what the quality of your life will be, and you are looking at her everytime you stand in front of a mirror. I spent far too many mornings looking at a drawn and haggard face whose bloodshot eyes looked back at me with disgust and despair. That woman is not who I really am. She held me hostage for most of my life, but I am determined to be free of her, and I am willing to do whatever is required to make sure that I never see that face again.
I'm thinking of you. Take care of yourself; you are worth it.
Peace to you,
Cekiya
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 21
Dee, I wasn't even born in 67' but close!
Barb - fires??? I had no idea. I hope everythings ok!
Viki - thank you. I know you are right, but hopefully I have enough time in now that I'm out of the woods. Plus, I'm terrified of Dr.'s (long story - had a bad experience and haven't seen one in years). For some wierd reason it wasn't as bad this time as last. I didn't even know that alcohol withdrawal could be dangerous until that last year, when I did some research on my symptoms. Thank you though. I wish you were in my area just to reccomend a doctor - Healthcare is so uncomfortably personal, Dr.'s should have profiles so you can choose someone you feel ok being honest with. If you are a Dr., please don't be offended. I'm just letting one apple spoil the bunch I guess.
Cekiya,
Thank you - that is me. I just wish that morning facing-myself-in-the-mirror feeling would last throughout the day. Quitting this time, I haven't felt/looked any better, but I'm hoping for a metamorphasis... LOL. I TOTALLY agree with you that you should fake it before you feel it. Emotions lie. I think a lot of us turn to this out of pain. I never believed that before, but I do now. Maybe thats the difference between someone who can have 2 drinks and someone who drinks until they reach oblivion.
It's very hard to convince myself that I deserve to be ok, let alone find hapiness. That's not martyr talk; I've done a lot of bad things and have let a lot of people down - before I started drinking. I'm doing my best though, and trying to 'override' the guilt/anxiety complex and treat myself well as best I can.
CONGRATULATIONS on your week - that's great. Hang in there and thank you!!
Kristy
Barb - fires??? I had no idea. I hope everythings ok!
Viki - thank you. I know you are right, but hopefully I have enough time in now that I'm out of the woods. Plus, I'm terrified of Dr.'s (long story - had a bad experience and haven't seen one in years). For some wierd reason it wasn't as bad this time as last. I didn't even know that alcohol withdrawal could be dangerous until that last year, when I did some research on my symptoms. Thank you though. I wish you were in my area just to reccomend a doctor - Healthcare is so uncomfortably personal, Dr.'s should have profiles so you can choose someone you feel ok being honest with. If you are a Dr., please don't be offended. I'm just letting one apple spoil the bunch I guess.
Cekiya,
There is only one person who can decide what the quality of your life will be, and you are looking at her everytime you stand in front of a mirror. I spent far too many mornings looking at a drawn and haggard face whose bloodshot eyes looked back at me with disgust and despair. That woman is not who I really am. She held me hostage for most of my life, but I am determined to be free of her, and I am willing to do whatever is required to make sure that I never see that face again.
It's very hard to convince myself that I deserve to be ok, let alone find hapiness. That's not martyr talk; I've done a lot of bad things and have let a lot of people down - before I started drinking. I'm doing my best though, and trying to 'override' the guilt/anxiety complex and treat myself well as best I can.
CONGRATULATIONS on your week - that's great. Hang in there and thank you!!
Kristy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 38
Good Morning, Kristy,
Pain. That has been the word that I could use to sum up the majority of my life. Sometimes abusive physical pain, but mostly psychological pain. Sometimes it would be so intense I felt I couldn't bear it, and other times, it would just whisper--but always it has been there--just at different levels.
The pain of living my perception of life drove me to do whatever it took to escape. I've sometimes wondered if the desire to commit suicide is at the root of addiction. Slow and unconscious, but suicide nonetheless. For as long as I could remember, I just wished to disappear. The irony of it is that the pain of addiction got so bad for me that my choices were conscious suicide or recovery. I've opted for recovery. And I'm not lookin' back.
Kristy, I am sure that every person on the planet thinks that they have done some "bad" things. And, it's true--while under the influence, most of us behave in ways that are often devastating to us when we come to our senses. The good thing about life is that in any given moment we can start anew. Yesterdays are gone. Our tomorrows will be the result of what we do and think today. One day at a time. And the truth is that we can only live each moment as it appears.
I want to find this person who, disguised as an alcoholic, has been living inside of me all these years. I want to find out who she really is. I've seen bits and pieces of her from time to time, and she has so many good qualities. I want to find her and make amends to her. And, I want her to live out the rest of her life with peace of mind.
We are all good people at our core; we just have to know that.
Have a good day and take care of your Self.
Peace to you,
Cekiya
Pain. That has been the word that I could use to sum up the majority of my life. Sometimes abusive physical pain, but mostly psychological pain. Sometimes it would be so intense I felt I couldn't bear it, and other times, it would just whisper--but always it has been there--just at different levels.
The pain of living my perception of life drove me to do whatever it took to escape. I've sometimes wondered if the desire to commit suicide is at the root of addiction. Slow and unconscious, but suicide nonetheless. For as long as I could remember, I just wished to disappear. The irony of it is that the pain of addiction got so bad for me that my choices were conscious suicide or recovery. I've opted for recovery. And I'm not lookin' back.
Kristy, I am sure that every person on the planet thinks that they have done some "bad" things. And, it's true--while under the influence, most of us behave in ways that are often devastating to us when we come to our senses. The good thing about life is that in any given moment we can start anew. Yesterdays are gone. Our tomorrows will be the result of what we do and think today. One day at a time. And the truth is that we can only live each moment as it appears.
I want to find this person who, disguised as an alcoholic, has been living inside of me all these years. I want to find out who she really is. I've seen bits and pieces of her from time to time, and she has so many good qualities. I want to find her and make amends to her. And, I want her to live out the rest of her life with peace of mind.
We are all good people at our core; we just have to know that.
Have a good day and take care of your Self.
Peace to you,
Cekiya
Last edited by Cekiya; 08-20-2007 at 06:56 AM.
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