Wow.. I can't believe I'm posting on a sober recovery board
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
We AA's really dont bite, Guy! If you go to an open meeting, no one need even know you're there for yourself, unless you choose to make it known. Just go for a cup of coffee and to hear what happened to others and how they were able to get sober. Instead of waiting for a meeting to be your last resort, let it be the beginning of a better, sober way of life. Come on...what do you have to lose!?!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 66
This is a really good thread. I too have concerns with going to AA, as I'm afraid I will see somebody I know there and it will somehow get back to my old friends/employers that "hey, did you know pointmagnet was an alky???" Maybe an irrational concern, but it is what it is.
I wish my wife was as understanding as yours, guywithpie. Mine is more of the "quit drinking, you loser, mentality." She has some anger issues with me that we need to work out (and are working on it)...
I wish my wife was as understanding as yours, guywithpie. Mine is more of the "quit drinking, you loser, mentality." She has some anger issues with me that we need to work out (and are working on it)...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Posts: 345
I was also nervous about the whole AA thing because I thought I wasnt really bad enough and it was unfair on others who needed help so much more than me to be taking up time in the meetings. But the fact is we all need help otherwise we wouldnt be here. I have no doubt I will need a lot of support to get through this.
My drinking pattern was very similar to yours GWP and I manage to keep some control for many years. Regular, heavy drinking in the evenings. Get wasted when I could, particularly at the weekends. Kept my job down, didnt beat of shout at my wife so thought everything was fine. But this last year things had started to take a more sinister edge with the drinking starting earlier in the day and more often ending in blackouts. Its weird how this disease progresses.
Pointmagnet - my wife has had enough and loses it whenever I drink now too. But then I guess I dont blame her. It was her intervention (taking a photo of me unconsious on our kitchen floor last week and threatening to show it around) that opened my eyes to how far I had gone. She is looking to me to support our family and pay our mortgage and there I am in that state at 1 am the night before a 5.50 am start to get a flight for a business meeting. Pathetic.
My drinking pattern was very similar to yours GWP and I manage to keep some control for many years. Regular, heavy drinking in the evenings. Get wasted when I could, particularly at the weekends. Kept my job down, didnt beat of shout at my wife so thought everything was fine. But this last year things had started to take a more sinister edge with the drinking starting earlier in the day and more often ending in blackouts. Its weird how this disease progresses.
Pointmagnet - my wife has had enough and loses it whenever I drink now too. But then I guess I dont blame her. It was her intervention (taking a photo of me unconsious on our kitchen floor last week and threatening to show it around) that opened my eyes to how far I had gone. She is looking to me to support our family and pay our mortgage and there I am in that state at 1 am the night before a 5.50 am start to get a flight for a business meeting. Pathetic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by pointmagnet 
This is a really good thread. I too have concerns with going to AA, as I'm afraid I will see somebody I know there and it will somehow get back to my old friends/employers that "hey, did you know pointmagnet was an alky???" Maybe an irrational concern, but it is what it is.
I wish my wife was as understanding as yours, guywithpie. Mine is more of the "quit drinking, you loser, mentality." She has some anger issues with me that we need to work out (and are working on it)...
I wish my wife was as understanding as yours, guywithpie. Mine is more of the "quit drinking, you loser, mentality." She has some anger issues with me that we need to work out (and are working on it)...
Hey Point. My wife has been the same way in the past as well. the difference with this time, is I actually showed her this site and communicated to her that I was being proactive about my problem. In the past, I've always said, I'm quitting, then the next day or two, party animal.
It made a big difference in her support by showing her that I'm putting myself out there and admitting that I have a problem and finding a place where I can get some support from others who have similar convictions.
As for showing up to the AA meetings, man I struggle with that too. I know in my heart its probably the right thing to do, but I want to see if I can do this without going to the meetings for the same reasons you mentioned in your post.
I know I can do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by Octoman
I was also nervous about the whole AA thing because I thought I wasnt really bad enough and it was unfair on others who needed help so much more than me to be taking up time in the meetings. But the fact is we all need help otherwise we wouldnt be here. I have no doubt I will need a lot of support to get through this.
My drinking pattern was very similar to yours GWP and I manage to keep some control for many years. Regular, heavy drinking in the evenings. Get wasted when I could, particularly at the weekends. Kept my job down, didnt beat of shout at my wife so thought everything was fine. But this last year things had started to take a more sinister edge with the drinking starting earlier in the day and more often ending in blackouts. Its weird how this disease progresses.
Pointmagnet - my wife has had enough and loses it whenever I drink now too. But then I guess I dont blame her. It was her intervention (taking a photo of me unconsious on our kitchen floor last week and threatening to show it around) that opened my eyes to how far I had gone. She is looking to me to support our family and pay our mortgage and there I am in that state at 1 am the night before a 5.50 am start to get a flight for a business meeting. Pathetic.
My drinking pattern was very similar to yours GWP and I manage to keep some control for many years. Regular, heavy drinking in the evenings. Get wasted when I could, particularly at the weekends. Kept my job down, didnt beat of shout at my wife so thought everything was fine. But this last year things had started to take a more sinister edge with the drinking starting earlier in the day and more often ending in blackouts. Its weird how this disease progresses.
Pointmagnet - my wife has had enough and loses it whenever I drink now too. But then I guess I dont blame her. It was her intervention (taking a photo of me unconsious on our kitchen floor last week and threatening to show it around) that opened my eyes to how far I had gone. She is looking to me to support our family and pay our mortgage and there I am in that state at 1 am the night before a 5.50 am start to get a flight for a business meeting. Pathetic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by NEEDTOBESOBER
I know where you are coming from, guy, I am 12 days sober, but the only way I could quit was by going to an inpatient detox hospital , I am 42 and had been drinking off and on since I was 17, and have been taking xanax or Klonopin for the last 5 yrs, and now I am having to deal with my anxiety problem, the doctor has given me medications for my anxiety but still having some anxiety. I realized it was serious when I started waking up shaking and had to drink a couple of beers and a pill(xanax) so I would stop shaking so bad.
I have some pretty severe anxiety issues as well. My Doc put me on Lexapro about 6 months ago and that really seemed to help. The funny thing is, I think I started drinking more after I got on the meds because I didn't really care as much about the consequences of getting hammered. After my body got used to the anti-anxiety pills I think I've changed my behavior and "care" more. That has been an interesting ride.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 66
Pointmagnet - my wife has had enough and loses it whenever I drink now too. But then I guess I dont blame her. It was her intervention (taking a photo of me unconsious on our kitchen floor last week and threatening to show it around) that opened my eyes to how far I had gone. She is looking to me to support our family and pay our mortgage and there I am in that state at 1 am the night before a 5.50 am start to get a flight for a business meeting.
We were at a really fun corporate party a month or so ago and she got falling down drunk. I was very functional at the time, dancing with some highly attractive Venezeulan chicas and having a wonderful time (albeit a little drunk). Anyway, I had to end my evening prematurely and physically carry her back to the hotel. And I get blamed for it, even though I was up bright and early the next day, helping her get cleaned up and off to bed, and then putting in a full day at work!
Arghh. Sorry for the vent.
Anyhow, I decide no more booze period. Too much aggravation.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Guy with pie - now there's an eye-catching name!
I'm way late in welcoming you - but wanted to throw mine out there with the others'.
Welcome to Sober Recovery - I'm glad you decided to jump in and post!
All good wishes for your recovery.
Rowan
I'm way late in welcoming you - but wanted to throw mine out there with the others'.
Welcome to Sober Recovery - I'm glad you decided to jump in and post!
All good wishes for your recovery.
Rowan
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Wow.. I can't believe I'm posting on a sober recovery board
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Hey Guy!
Love your screen name..
Bonafide alkie here...there is not much to "stop" drinking..the real
trick is to "stay stopped".
For me..living the principles of AA has enabled me to stay stopped and regain
sanity.
Most of my questions about tough life situations are answered..not specifically
but I get suggestions as to how I might respond or react..without resorting to alcohol.
It has worked for me for 14 months now..
And of course..
Welcome to SR!
Love,
:
IO
Love your screen name..
Bonafide alkie here...there is not much to "stop" drinking..the real
trick is to "stay stopped".
For me..living the principles of AA has enabled me to stay stopped and regain
sanity.
Most of my questions about tough life situations are answered..not specifically
but I get suggestions as to how I might respond or react..without resorting to alcohol.
It has worked for me for 14 months now..
And of course..
Welcome to SR!
Love,
:IO
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Posts: 345
Originally Posted by pointmagnet
Octoman, I've been pretty bleary-eyed in the morning myself for business trips, but what really pisses me off about my spouse is that she has gotten far more hammered than me more than once in the last few years, and she blames me for her indiscretion, because I can handle more booze due to the fact that I'm an alky.
Sounds familiar too. Thing is I have been trying for years to work out the causes of my problems. I blame the fact that I drink on boredom and lethargy at work when its probably the other way round. I blame the arguments with my wife for driving me to drinking. My favorite is to say that because she has demonized drink it has fuelled my passion for it etc. Something I learned at AA last night is that the alcohol is always the last thing an alcoholic blames for their problems. Its their support, their friend and their comfort.
Until I am able to dry out and remove alcohol from the equation I will never know the true answer. Maybe I really am not suited to my job and our marriage has other issues but in truth everything points towards one thing and that’s the booze. As its spiraled out of control I have increasingly become detached from normal life and started making worse and worse decisions. All I do know is that if I carry on like this I will lose my marriage and my job and I truly don’t want either of these things to happen. And even if I do have other problems I am not going to be able to deal with them effectively as a drunk.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Greenfield CA
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by guywithpie
Spiritual Seeker..Thanks for the advice and support. Why am I so weird about going to AA? I guess because deep in my heart I don't feel that I'm "that bad off".. This is the first time I've ever reached out to any community openly about getting some help. Baby steps at first for this man.
I'm embarrassed, upset and disappointed in myself. I'm not ready to walk into a room full of people that I don't know.. maybe later if I need it.
At least with the forum, I can hide behind my cartoon avatar and type messages without looking at someone in the eye. Know what I mean?
I'm embarrassed, upset and disappointed in myself. I'm not ready to walk into a room full of people that I don't know.. maybe later if I need it.
At least with the forum, I can hide behind my cartoon avatar and type messages without looking at someone in the eye. Know what I mean?
YES... I feel the same way.. (Deep sigh)... I hate that I am even in this position.. I am embarrassed. VERY embarrassed..
It is amazing how great it is to reach out through this site.. Its powerful to know there are others in the same situation..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 184
Hi guys.. I decided yesterday to at least get some structured plan in place if I wasn't ready to go to AA meetings yet. I went to the bookstore and purchased The 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Got through chapter 1 last night. I'm still feeling pretty strong. This is day three sober for me which I'm proud of. I have some challenges ahead of me but have the confidence I can get through.
Beyond, hang in there with me. I'm embarrassed too, but won't it make a great story to share with others after we are successful?
Thanks for the hello Karen...
Jersey.. I'm here for a while.. not giving up. I'm glad I found this place to.
IO Storm.. I got the book.. it's a start. i was actually contemplating going to a meeting. My wife is going out of town on Friday. That will be a hard time for me. i might go then, we'll see how I do, but thanks for the encouragement.
Jules and Rowan.. Thanks for the welcome. This place is awesome...
Beyond, hang in there with me. I'm embarrassed too, but won't it make a great story to share with others after we are successful?
Thanks for the hello Karen...
Jersey.. I'm here for a while.. not giving up. I'm glad I found this place to.
IO Storm.. I got the book.. it's a start. i was actually contemplating going to a meeting. My wife is going out of town on Friday. That will be a hard time for me. i might go then, we'll see how I do, but thanks for the encouragement.
Jules and Rowan.. Thanks for the welcome. This place is awesome...
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
GWP,
Welcome to you. If pride is the main impediment to attending AA then rest assured pride will most likely take a beating if you find yourself lacking in "self control sufficient to do it by yourself."
Many of us found that the admission of needing another's help was almost unbearable to acknowledge. I for one had always been able to do it "by myself" in my career as a business owner, a parent, a husband etc.
I Still have the business, (much better one since sobriety came to stay), the kids now like me and respect me (this is a reality since I have been sober), the wive(s) are no longer a consideration since they left (prior to sobriety). A shame really since they were both such good housekeepers. The 1st one kept my first house and the 2nd one kept my second house!
Worst day of all my 20+ years of alcohol abuse was the day I walked into an AA meeting and "officially became an alcoholic." Prior to that I was just a black belt drinker. That was almost 3,000 days ago. I got over the wound to my pride and life has been pretty darn good since then.
I have no idea if you need AA, but I can tell you that without it I doubt I would be alive. I am by no means an AA junkie, anymore than I am an oxygen junkie, but without either one of them I would be looking at the wrong side of the grass today.
Best wishes to you and if I can offer any support just holler.' Someone was there for me when I needed them and I owe those people a huge debt. I was told I just had to "pass it on" in order to make payments on that IOU. It just so happens that So. Cal. isn't that big of place, Upland and Ladera Ranch are pretty close to each other and I have an AA directory if you meet anyone who needs one!
Good luck on the journey no matter which path you choose.
Jon
Welcome to you. If pride is the main impediment to attending AA then rest assured pride will most likely take a beating if you find yourself lacking in "self control sufficient to do it by yourself."
Many of us found that the admission of needing another's help was almost unbearable to acknowledge. I for one had always been able to do it "by myself" in my career as a business owner, a parent, a husband etc.
I Still have the business, (much better one since sobriety came to stay), the kids now like me and respect me (this is a reality since I have been sober), the wive(s) are no longer a consideration since they left (prior to sobriety). A shame really since they were both such good housekeepers. The 1st one kept my first house and the 2nd one kept my second house!
Worst day of all my 20+ years of alcohol abuse was the day I walked into an AA meeting and "officially became an alcoholic." Prior to that I was just a black belt drinker. That was almost 3,000 days ago. I got over the wound to my pride and life has been pretty darn good since then.
I have no idea if you need AA, but I can tell you that without it I doubt I would be alive. I am by no means an AA junkie, anymore than I am an oxygen junkie, but without either one of them I would be looking at the wrong side of the grass today.
Best wishes to you and if I can offer any support just holler.' Someone was there for me when I needed them and I owe those people a huge debt. I was told I just had to "pass it on" in order to make payments on that IOU. It just so happens that So. Cal. isn't that big of place, Upland and Ladera Ranch are pretty close to each other and I have an AA directory if you meet anyone who needs one!
Good luck on the journey no matter which path you choose.
Jon
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Samsara
Posts: 15
guywithpie and all the rest of you: you're giving me hope. I'm still trying to pull that tired donkey up the hill (to recovery), but I keep letting go of the rope, but I keep picking it up. You people are wonderful.
Hang on today, guywithpie, and tomorrow: you can do it. ~Kate
Hang on today, guywithpie, and tomorrow: you can do it. ~Kate
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by Jfanagle
I Still have the business, (much better one since sobriety came to stay), the kids now like me and respect me (this is a reality since I have been sober), the wive(s) are no longer a consideration since they left (prior to sobriety). A shame really since they were both such good housekeepers. The 1st one kept my first house and the 2nd one kept my second house!
Worst day of all my 20+ years of alcohol abuse was the day I walked into an AA meeting and "officially became an alcoholic." Prior to that I was just a black belt drinker. That was almost 3,000 days ago. I got over the wound to my pride and life has been pretty darn good since then.
Drinking does not affect my job or my kids but it does affect my relationship with my wife and God. Those 2 things are the most important aspects in my life. Time to get my $hit in gear before it gets worse.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by khiggs
guywithpie and all the rest of you: you're giving me hope. I'm still trying to pull that tired donkey up the hill (to recovery), but I keep letting go of the rope, but I keep picking it up. You people are wonderful.
Hang on today, guywithpie, and tomorrow: you can do it. ~Kate
Hang on today, guywithpie, and tomorrow: you can do it. ~Kate
Kate.. I'm glad your here with me too. Let's rock! We don't need no stinkin' booze!
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