Jules62

Hi there!

I think the timing differs for everyone but what I would warn you of is when you start to feel great!I know that sounds ironic-but for me, once I had gotten past the first two weeks and started to feel good physically-my alkie voice kicked in really strongly with 'See?You can be sober-so having a few wines at night wouldn't hurt.You can control it now-you've proven you can go without so why not reward yourself?' etc etc etc.

I know for me that one glass of wine will lead to 20-it is never an option for me.I escalated from a few glasses of wine every night to picking up at 10am over the space of 6 months.I can't afford to go back there.

As many here will tell you-it helps to know your triggers.People, places, things that set you off.I think it can happen at any time really in our recovery-but it's also early days for me yet too.

So-I just stay focused on today for now.Hope this helps a bit!

Jules

Jfanagle

Here goes the beat of that tired old AA drum.

Just an old man's ramblings: What if having a "virtual" sponsor yields "virtual" sobriety?

GWP, I like your writing and I applaud your goal of sobriety and your "self" determination to keep from drinking. I am sure that someone somewhere has done this thing all by themselves and with just grit and will power; however the odds are so far against you that no sensible bookie would back your play. If you like the camaraderie of this site, you are going to love real live alcoholics all pulling together to keep the "other guy" sober. I will "suggest”; (that is all we ever do in AA), that you try a meeting or two. Heck, the stories are entertaining as can be, and you can even sit around and feel superior to all the other "losers" in the room. Right up until the day you realize that you are part of the group!

Like all the other crazy AA folks I just don't want someone as intelligent and desirous of returning to the normal side of life as you seem to be, to short change themselves. I will now step down off of my soapbox.

This is a life long commitment for me. Alcohol addiction is the one thing I can't do by myself, and I am damn sure of my own will power and logic in the face of all the rest of life's little twists and turns. I could not have, nor will I be able to continue to stay sober if I start relying on "self will."

I have never walked out of a meeting of AA and muttered to myself “I have to quit doing this!” However I sure said that a whole bunch of times as I walked out of bars, or as I “hid” my drinking from others.

guywithpie

Strong words of wisdom and a great example. I will watch out for that. Now that you have shared that with me I will be on the look our for my own "self-confidence" in sobriety.

Thanks Jules..

Jules62

You're very welcome.You're doing well.Glad you're here with us!

Jules.

guywithpie

From what I have learned in my short sobriety, there are all sort of walks of life that are going through this same challenge. I consider myself one of the "group" right now because I admit that I'm an alcoholic. It amazes me how many people have replied to this thread and over 500 have viewed? Wow.. I can't quite comprehend that yet. (Maybe I should change my picture)

JFangle.. I'm not saying that I will never go to an AA meeting. Stopping my alcohol consumption, posting on this board and really understanding what a mess I've put myself into is draining to say the least. Showing up to a live meeting is something that I will do when the time is right. (And not before it is too late).


Thanks for your valuable input and for holding me accountable. I truly appreciate that.

This crazy thing called alcohol. The more days I am sober the more I realize what a strain it has put on my life. Alcohol is supposed to kill all of these brain cells.. how come it didn't kill the ones that want me to drink?

Dee74

I think it's dofferent for everyone...heck it was different for me each time...sometimes I fought cravings sometimes not...I agree with Jules tho...the craving will get you when you least expect it, and often with the weirdest rationalisations.

Just remember what you're doing this for, remember you never *need* to drink anything, and you'll be fine GWB...

ok <muso mode> so, what kind of music are you into? ....</muso mode>

D

Jules62

We all have our own timing in recovery.It took me ages to get the courage to post here at SR and admit I was an alcoholic.We also all have our own paths to choose within our recovery.I don't go to A.A either-but I've considered it.I would never think of myself as superior to anyone there-my fear about going has been far more about me being recognised(I'm in the public eye here) and about me being so much worse than them-how ironic I have found telling a few people in my life about it-my husband and posting here is enough for me right now.I'm not saying this won't change-but it's all I can cope with for now.

I think A.A is wonderful-and I may end up going-it's just not everyone's choice-and that's ok too.

Jules.

Dee74

Here's another old man's answer...AA is great. Helps a lot of folks. I have good and genuine reasons why I didn;t take that option.

I've maintained 120 days plus with nothing but the sincere desire to change my life and not to drink again, coupled with the support of all the good folks here at SR.

Not saying it's a way for everyone, and if I fail down the track you can bury me in AA leaflets, but AA's not the only way.

Nothing virtual about my sobriety

thanks.
D

guywithpie

Jules and Dee.. I really needed your comments. Thank you so much. I appreciate everyone's suggestions on attending AA, but I'm just not ready. It is refreshing to see other people following different routes that still work. I know its an oddity for people to overcome addiction without it, but both of your experiences are great examples.

I know there are some die-hard AA advocates on this board.. Several have offered me some very sound advice. I think if I get to the point where I believe I'm going to slip, I'll go for some face time with other people.. until then, I'm doing ok.

But seriously.. this board rocks. I am so happy that I have all of you to help me through this. People truly care about how i'm doing and check on me.! That is so awesome. I'm going to go off here for a minute so bare with me..

I love that people want to help me. In my life I typically am the one to help other people. I'm an executive at a company with over 3500 employees. I have 15 direct employees myself and it can be very stressful at times. I have a very dysfunctional family which always lean on me to "make things right".. I belong to 2 non-profit organizations and have taken in my step-daughter and her baby.. The list goes on and on.. Sometimes I get warn down from always giving, and not taking enough time for people to help me out.. That's one of the reasons I think I started drinking so heavily. I have huge responsibilities at home and huge responsibilties at work.. I'm not making excuses, simply explaining my situation.

It's good to go somewhere and say.. I need some help. Somebody to ask me how I'm doing.. somebody to check up on me to see if I'm ok.

Wow.. I just got kinda emotional right there..

I'll need to think through that a little more.

gypsytears

This is one of those places as you've found out . I've been reading your posts Guy and I think you're doing a fine job trying to figure out how you're going to get where you want to be.

Jules62

I very much relate to what you said about being the person who helps everyone else and consequently how hard it can become for us to ask for help(read my post from yesterday-'Really low today') I run my own business from home as well as perform some nights as a stand up comedian, and am a wife, mother and have many friends who rely on me.Sometimes-it's all too much.

I don't know if it's an alkie thing but I have always been the strong one-never asked for help and therefore became my own worst (prideful) enemy.I drank to stop feeling-feeling put upon, feeling resentful, feeling so alone because I wouldn't allow myself to be human and say I needed help.It felt like weakness to me-to admit I needed help-but I've realised it isn't.It takes courage.

I have a lot of respect for A.A-and as I said-may go one day.But for now?I'm doing ok with the support I have.there are some wonderful people here at SR and several who have become close friends I can call on the phone if I need to.It's working for me right now anyway.You'll find your own way too.You're doing really well.

Jules

Dee74

LOL this is becoming the Guy with Pie Show featuring Dee and Jules isn't it ?

but really...glad my ramblings kinda help...LOL.

This is a great place, with lots of different people, and lots of different ways of getting there.

Whatever works

D

guywithpie

I have had so many positive words of encouragement from so many people.. pretty wild. I have only been on this board for 4 days and I've shared more deep/dark secrets with people I have never met before.. yet feel somehow comforted. Pretty cool.

Dee74

Yeah. I like it here too.

D

Jersey Nonny

OK...I confess! I'm one of those die-hard Oldtimers who got sober through AA meetings, and still firmly believe it's the way to go. Once I accepted my alcoholism and admitted my powerlessness, I never questioned whether or not AA was for me, how long it would be before the obsession with drinking would leave me, or when I would finally be able to sleep through the night. I had two great sponsors; and, whenever I was going through a rough time, they (or many other of my fellow AA's) would tell me, "This, too, shall pass" or "Give Time Time". I trusted enough to believe them, and it worked.

Twenty-seven years later, I can't tell you the last time I ever truly wanted to drink...it just simply is not a part of my life...anymore than if I found out I was allergic to shellfish I would crave lobster or shrimp! There is so much more to look forward to than drinking alcohol...been there, done that, Amen!!!

guywithpie

27 years.. That is awesome!
I have a tough week ahead of me. My family is going out of town so I will be home alone. (Prime drinking time in the past). I'll probably be posting a lot on the board. If I feel I'm going to break, I promise I will go to an AA meeting. I have all the contact information for my area.

Then, Monday through Wednesday I will be back east on business travel. Two cocktail receptions and a client dinner.. oh boy. Please pray for me.

guywithpie

By the way.. today is day 5 of being sober.

Octoman

Hey GWP, good to hear your hanging in there.
I have my first drinks reception next week too. Thats going to be one hell of a test!

Just wondering, do you feel fuzzy or detached in any way at work? I feel like I am viewing the world from inside a fish tank. Everything is kind of fuzzy, a step removed. I'm interested because you are at the same point in recovery and had a similar drinking pattern.

Anyway, keep up the good work, I always appreciate hearing how you are getting on.

Jersey Nonny

Quote:

27 years.. That is awesome!
I have a tough week ahead of me. My family is going out of town so I will be home alone. (Prime drinking time in the past). I'll probably be posting a lot on the board. If I feel I'm going to break, I promise I will go to an AA meeting. I have all the contact information for my area.

Then, Monday through Wednesday I will be back east on business travel. Two cocktail receptions and a client dinner.. oh boy. Please pray for me.

Hmmmmn...I guess so! I sometimes can't believe it myself; but, I can still remember walking into my very first AA meeting, and immediately feeling "at home".

Don't be projecting ahead to next week...heck, the whole world could come to an end between now and then! Just focus on "one date at a time". Before you know it, you'll turn around and have 27 years of sobriety, and wonder where all the time went! Of course, I'll have moved on to "That Great AA Meeting in the Sky" by then; but, I promise to continue praying for all you earth-bound alcoholics and addicts.

Pilgrim

Hi GWP and Octobunny!

Jersey is wise and if you are ever worried, there is lots of good advice from the old timers here. I am pleased to see you are giving AA a try. I am a grateful member of that family.

Have you read up about PAWS? Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms. There is a sticky at the top of this forum. I remember being fuzzy headed. I still am a bit from my last binge - 8 days ago.