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Starting over! Day 1 ~~~~~

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Old 05-20-2007, 03:30 PM
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Hey Wolf -

Good job on the shopping!

Have you had your thyroid checked?? When I first started having problems from anxiety (caused by alcohol - surprize, surprize), the doctor did a complete thyroid exam.

TinLizzy
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Old 05-20-2007, 03:35 PM
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Hi Tinlizzy, thanks for that, no I havn't had thyroid checked though doc did mention it as an option last time I was there. He did also ask about any family history of anxiety to which I confidently replied no. not that I am aware of - how little we know until we ask!!
Just want it to go away I don't mind panicing if being chased by dangerous person who wants to harm me but standing in a queue to pay for shopping is ridiculous!! lol It's laughable till it happens.
Obviously alcohol masked all this.
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Old 05-20-2007, 04:08 PM
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Yep I fixed the glass wolf, I found myself looking out on the world going by from 8th floor balcony that it was on and like you said earlier with the rain, it took me back to chilhood when I lived on the 12th floor of a tower block and spent hours just doing exactly the same. Theres a pub opposite his block and I was watching people going in as it opend, I wasn't in the slightest enviouse in fact I found myself thinking of the things that they would face after a Sunday lunchtime session. Like getting home and demanding there Sunday lunch and finding the slightest thing to pick a fight with there wives or kids. Wondering where they had managed to loose all there money cuz surely they couldn't have drank that much away. The thought of waking up in the chair only find that it was Monday morning already and work lay ahead.
Insanity realy to live an unmanageable life, but we all did it!.
Yours sounded an eventful day and scary at times, but wolf you must take the positives out of it like getting your books and herbal tabs and queing is queing wethr its one infront of you or ten. So good for ya for doing it, you stayed focussed on the job in hand and stuck to it regardless of what your anxiety was telling you to do.
I think it's probably a good idea when you get to see your doc that you mention your moms condition as well, could shed some light on your own.
And amongst all those achievements you also managed to get to horse riding so a win win situation all round.
As far as your dad goes well as an alcoholic I have learnt that no body can understand my disease other than another alcoholic, so I guess its the same for him if he's never lived through anxiety. I have been told by family members "well try not to worry you will feel better soon" as if i've got a bad case of flu or somthing. But as I say there ignorance is bliss thankfully.
Well it's turned 12 midnight so thats my first week over in this recovery and i'm so fkn relieved cuz I know that I am capable of getting back to where I was, well just for today!
I've probably got some ammends to make with my boss for snapping at him on Friday but thats ok, i'd rather eat humble pie than keep festering resentments inside my head.
hey wolf I told you i could post long as well! no worries!. lol.

chris
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Old 05-20-2007, 05:30 PM
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Just popping in real quick to say hi. You all sound like you're doing well !
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Old 05-20-2007, 11:30 PM
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Hia gypsy, nice to see ya, how u doin?
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Old 05-21-2007, 09:47 AM
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Hey Chris -

Congratulations on the week! I'm back to 8 days, and I too know I will get back to where I was and then some, one day at a time!

TinLizzy
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Old 05-21-2007, 10:08 AM
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Thanx TL and well done you for your 8 days! i've sort of come to the conclusion that my lost day was meant to happen just to plant my feet firmly back on the recovery road, cuz I realy wasn't happy with what I did. Like not being able to deal with a situation without running off to the bottle, killed me as I had coped with worse things happening during the previous 133 days. But it has strengthend my resolve in my fight against this disease just gotta tell my home group tomoz nite as I never went last week. Yikes!!!. but I know they have all been there before me as have all you here at SR, so no worries realy.

chris
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Old 05-21-2007, 10:20 AM
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Chris -

I too am disappointed with my lack of handling a situation without running to the bottle! Progress. Not perfection.

I take great solace and credit outpatient, AA and SR with the fact that it only lasted one day!!

I've been "fessing up" all over town this past week, and it has not been overly fun. On the bright side, I received nothing but hugs and support, more phone numbers than ever, and I'd better use them this time!

My thoughts are with you -

TinLizzy
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Old 05-21-2007, 10:38 AM
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Where is Tj everybody? I miss her, but i only want her to be ok....just hope your fine Tj....where you are....

Karim
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Old 05-21-2007, 10:51 AM
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tj is doing just fine, she's just taking time to chill, just for today!

chris
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Old 05-21-2007, 12:47 PM
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I'm doing good Karim, thanks for asking about me. My husband wants me to get rid of the internet. So, I unhooked my modem and asked him to return it to the cable/internet company, and he hasn't even put it in his truck yet!! hehe, well I found it while cleaning and here I am!
I'm going to go stay with my friend Cindy next month while stubbyhubby flies to Georgia to drive my Sons new pickup back home (east coast to west coast!). He doesnt want his truck sitting there for 15 months while he's gone and After 15 months in Iraq he will be done with the army thank god. ........well he will have to stay in Georgia an additional couple months so they can 'deprogram' him to not be a killer anymore. Lots of counseling I hear. What do they do? give him a squirt gun and send him on his way???
I hope everyone is doing good and staying sober!!!
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Old 05-21-2007, 12:52 PM
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hello tj, bin keepin your seat warm 4 ya
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Old 05-21-2007, 12:53 PM
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hehe ty chris!
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Old 05-21-2007, 12:56 PM
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ure welcome, just bin holdin the fort, till you got chance to get back on
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Old 05-21-2007, 12:58 PM
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hows you been anyhows tj. all good i hope. not to many bumpy bits along the way.
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Old 05-21-2007, 01:02 PM
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well my marriage is pretty much dust, I'm depressed, need to figure out what to do now. Other then that, everything is peachy.
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Old 05-21-2007, 01:08 PM
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Hey TJ

Sorry things aren't good but glad to see you back. Havn't got anything helpful at all to say, so I'll not say anymore

You take care

hugs
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Old 05-21-2007, 01:57 PM
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Take care of yourself TJ and stay strong!

I just got back from a meeting about gratutude and it was sooo uplifting!!

TinLizzy
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Old 05-22-2007, 10:51 AM
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Glad to see you back tj, even if it was only briefly. Re kell, just get yourself well first and regain the strength that sobriety gives us. Then you never have to be a slave to anything again and you'll be free to live life to the full once more. Hey tj you used to be so full of your meetings they realy meant so much to you , try and get back to em, there will be no judgement only a warm welcome and get back to us here at sr as well.
I'm off to my home group tonight to fess up about my slip and some other stuff but I know i'll only get positive responces and lots of hugs.

inabit chris
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Old 05-22-2007, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by I_am_tj View Post
well my marriage is pretty much dust, I'm depressed, need to figure out what to do now. Other then that, everything is peachy.

there you go positive people can still be ok in the storm, i love that spirit. stay strong!
we got a man in the house that won't leave.lol.that's why i am studying hard to get some green stuff! lol

i am going to be such a good husband.lol.i got the tools of what not to do! ROFLMFAO!
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