chrisj728

Hey wolf u r just like that plant, the difference is your cutting back the dead wood in your life to allow for new growth, so keep pruning away at yourself and you will see the bennefits. We all have to get used to change in attitude to work, it doesn't mean that we cant enjoy going but watch for triggers while there. my worse times are when the other blokes start talking of what drinking exploits there going to be getting up to or have been doing especialy on fridays.
Still i got through today easier somehow not so much head fighting so ill tackle tommorrow when it gets here.
Hia tinlizy!!! you sound real positive and full of determination to get this job done, glad you had no withdrawls but dont let that kid you into trying again, we can be trapped by this tormenter in seconds.

chris

TINLIZZY

I'm doing fine Chris, thanks for asking.

I still have to face up/fess up to my transgression at four (yes, FOUR) more AA meetings. Slipped on Sunday, told my husband Sunday, told outpatient counselor Monday am, told outpatient group Monday pm, told Tuesday am AA group, told my sponsor Tuesday am, told Wedensday am AA group, told Wendesday pm AA group. Have yet to tell Friday AA group, Saturday AA group and two Sunday AA groups.

I feel as though I've been humbled to my knees!! I truly NEVER want to do this again -

Perhaps this is a sign that I should not go to so many meetings!?! (Just kidding!)

TinLizzy

chrisj728

We've all been here!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByUeXtwBDDM

chris

TINLIZZY

Thanks for the song. I do remember, and I didn't have a nice time!!

TinLizzy

chrisj728

None of us did in the later stages, but in recovery we can still be someone without the ravages of addiction.

chris

cyberwolf

great Chris thanks. Have you heard from TJ? Havn't seen anything in the last couple of days?

chrisj728

Hi wolf, how you doing today, how was work? mine went pretty well with it being friday and all. Had one or two bumpy moments when i'd have ripped someones head off for a drink, especialy when the boss questioned my jugdements on a few things. But I held on tight to my temper and managed to get home without stopping off for a bottle. I would have used that as an exuse to drink before this recovery but not today, just for today!
tj is doing just fine she's just taking time out to chill for a while k.

chris

cyberwolf

Hi Chris, Thanks for that, was a bit worried as no TJ for a while, but glad she's doing ok. Hey and well done you fora)not stopping at pub and b) not ripping someones head off.

I took easy option today and did some work from home I just can't get rid of this dam anxiety and it is making life kinda h*ll for me just now. Feel like I am trudging through quick setting cement!!!lol

If only it would ease up a little I'd be so much happier. No craving for drink, no desire to get plastered (except that a hangover is better than this anxiety sh*t!!)

I guess 12 or so years of abuse can't begin to heal in 12 days huh?

Aint life a b*tch sometimes

Hope your night/weekend goes well.

chrisj728

My anxiety went when i finaly decided not to shoulder the whole blame for the bad things that had happend in my life, when i realised that it wasnt just my fault. I also came to accept that whatever i did i had no control over people, places and things, so when the sh1t hits the fan now Hey! its not my fault i cant control everybody. I now know that i can only change me and any decissions i make are made with a sober head not an alcoholic one.
Wish i could work from home but theres only so much building work you can do on one house.

chris

cyberwolf

Yeah I am lucky in respect that I spent most of the day finding out info about support groups for people - ironic eh!! Was able to do that from pc and phonecalls. Also had most of afternoon booked off for docs anyway so it turned out not too bad.

I wish I was able to know what I was anxious about then I could take your advice and follow your example! But I havn't had that much distress in my life, I am in a happy relaionship, I have great mates and a good family and a dog and a cat who dote on me lol I have a great job thats very rewarding (when I am there- lol) and I still for the last 3 weeks (since I decided to make the attemt and then give up alcohol) I feel like I am being constantly chased by the guy with the white mask and the chainsaw (and I don't mean eminem!!) It's just totally mental and me being quite logical, knows its crazy and daft etc etc but heh thats the way it is just now.

Yeah you working from home....probably not wise in present circumstances!!! and like you say only so much you can do before local council objects eh!!!!lol

Take it easy and be proud of what you have recognised and achieved VERY QUICKLY in the last couple of days well done you.

chrisj728

Its been a long road so far for me wolf, like 20 yrs of shear insanity. Then I started to understand my disease and from that moved on to various forms of recovery gaining knowledge from each one, I would have been 138 days sober today if I hadnt of drank last Sunday but that realy doesn't matter as long as I remain sober today.
I have identified the reason for my slip and will avoid a similar situation arising in the future if i can.
As far as the man in the white mask! lol, It may just be your old alkie self tailing you in the hope that you may want to crack a bottle with him. But he'll soon leave you when he nows your serious in recovery.

Stay strong wolf and you be proud of what you've achieved too.

chris

TINLIZZY

"No control over people, places, and things. . . "

That's the second time I've heard that today, and I finally get it! I CAN control my reaction, my expectations, and my responses.

I just back from a very uplifting meeting and am feeling strong and looking forward to a good weekend.

About working from home . . . be careful what you wish for! I've worked out of the house for the last 10 years. The autonomy, freedom, and flexability are fantastic. It's also very solitary and lonely. And, yes, the committee can come and visit at any time . .

TinLizzy

Dee74

Hope all you guys are going well today !

D

chrisj728

bumping back up, where you gone "Stone", jump bak on board with us man.
No judges here!!!!

cyberwolf

No CRAZY ex neighbours. Its been a good night.
Yeah Chris, what has happened to Stone? Hope all ok? And hope TJ still doing well? Anyways Tv rubbish now heading to land of z's soon. Thanks again for your help today. Lets hope tomorrow's a good day for everyone of us.

Take care and stay safe.

chrisj728

Sound wolf ! i'm glad you had a more peacefull evening, and no Eurovision withdrawls.lol
Hey wolf I did learn early doors that each day will be as good as we decide to make it, so with your Glen walking and horse riding i'm sure yours will be a great day.
I'm heading off to replace a piece of glass in my one sons flat, as his mate shoved his arm through it last night (16 stiches). But you know wolf it's gonna be a good day for me, cuz 5mths ago I wouldn't have been capable of doing it in mind or body,
so BONUS! being sober.
Hope you have a good day and watch out for them pesky haggis. lol

chris

cyberwolf

Cheers Chris. I am "thinking"a about going to onbe of the retail parks just on the edge ofthe city centre and going to a big bookstore (scary lots of people etc etc) and maybe buying a couple of books since I have started to read again. I was actually thinking of maybe getting an enjoyable one and maybe one about anxiety and gonna post elsewhere about that.

Sun shining may do that then head off to the countryside horses is at 4 so gives me loads of time then mums for a healthy tea!! I 1at read your post as you ere going to replace grass lol (couldnt work outthe stitches thing, thought your sons pal had been trying to lay turf and got injured!!! lol - things still obviously a bit hazy for me lol)

Yip we are going to have a good day

Lynne

Ps the dogs an expert at chasing haggi ;-)

chrisj728

soz wolf!! my fault put gass insted of glass, things arn't hazy it was me. What happened was my son moved to a flat last monday and as we all did in youth he decided that he'd have his mates round, well I guess they were pissed or stoned and the one kid put his arm through the balcony window trying to open it apparently.So dads left to pick up the pieces and the bill for the glass of course. But its life and it happens so hey ho!

chris

cyberwolf

Hope the glass got fixed, I have decided against the long walk it is POURING here, sky is black as night and it is lashing down!!!(all the haggis will be hiding!) Looks like someone/thing is telling me to go to the shops - much scariness!! Hope the rain goes off before 4. I used to love watching rain run down the window as a kid and now it just annoys me. Oh for the love of simple pleasures again.

cyberwolf

Won't repost everything but have a nosy at
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...=1#post1339510
What a day I have had

I did fit in an hour at the horses which was about the only good to come out of today. Feel totally burnt out.

How you guys doing?

Did ya fix the glass chris?

Heres to the week ahead - lets make it a good one