wiscgirl30

Wow, this is a list I came up with in 5 min. There are so many countless more things. Why has it taken me till now to really, really try to make a change? Ugh....

First started age 14: Drank half bottle of vodka, blacked out, kissed someone who was not my boyfriend, snuck out of my house, woke up in a car in the middle of the woods with a bunch of other passed out people.

Almost 15: Blacked out. Lost my virginity to a 20 year old dude, and thought it was someone else I was sleeping with.

15: Blacked out. Slept with a 23 year old man. Dont remember.

There were many in between but, here is some more...

21st b-day: Drove drunk. Sideswiped my car against a pole.

21: Got in a fight with a guy for no reason. Got chased around with a butcher knife.

21: Huge fight with my friends that I dont remember, freaking out on them.... losing those friends. Actually, this has happened quite a bit through the years.

25: Drunk driving. Yay. Luckily I wasn't in a blackout state THIS TIME.

26: Got drunk in my hometown, got upset for some reason, went running through the woods for some reason, chased by a policeman friend of my parents who I think intended to rape me. Lost a shoe....This was a really bad, Stephen King-like night. Really, really bad.

27: Freaked out at a wedding, got in a fight with my brother, made a huge scene. Luckilly itwas at the end of the night and not that many people saw....but still.... I wanted to die.

28: Freaked out on my friend, once again, another friend, from work, for no reason. She kicked me out of her car. I walked down the street. It was winter. Some couple picked me up. I was crying and puking and saying what a bad mother I am. Omigosh.... They dropped me off at home. I wonder if I ever saw them again. OMG. This night - again - really REALLY sucked.

Wow....these are just a small handful of the things I have done, things that have happened to me.... This is one list I should keep and remember how I felt. Honestly? I can't believe Im still alive. There have been so many times I have been out walking around in the winter without shoes or whatever, in a blackout. 4 days ago being the last time. I thank God Im alive, and I thank you all for listening. I have a pit in my stomach right now... ugh...

topetah

thanks for sharing. its always nice to get that off your chest. you may feel a bit sick now but soon it will pass. always nice to get those things out. i could start a list myself and prob would be much longer lol. but i dont wanna take away from your thread. im glad you shared doesnt sound that bad to tell you the truth. try going to your brothers ingagement party and end up getting drunk and having sex with your new sister n laws sister in the bathroom where every one herd.. thats just one of my recent mistakes. oh and yes she is married. i have a bunch more hun lol...jason

wiscgirl30

You can say as much as you want, lol, I dont mind! Wow, thanks for sharing that....

CarolD

I know that every time I got into trouble
any kind of trouble
I had been drinking!

By staying sober
my life is soo much smoother.

Way to go on your sober time!

parentrecovers

good recovery, wiscgirl. keep writing! k

wiscgirl30

Oh yeah, lets not forget egging my neighbors house last year and GETTING CAUGHT.

RubyT

I was asked to leave my SIL's anniversary party...after falling into a wood pile and banging up my face and bruising my entire left arm! Lovely....

wiscgirl30

All feel free to add your bad moments if you'd like! Thank you! It reminds me how really stupid drinking is...

laurie6781

I, am like Carol. ANYTIME I got in trouble................. I had been drinking.

Today, I don't need to remember my bad moments (lots of bad moments) I just know that alcohol and drugs are poison to this alkie.

Long before I started working a 12 step program I attended meetings. I felt SAFE in the meetings. Could not comprehend much of what was being said, but I could feel the Warmth, the Contentment, the Peace of these people. It was only when the fog and mush in my brain started to clear that I was able to start reading the BB.

Hope you too can find safety in a meeting.

Love and hugs,

parentrecovers

my daughter says since she has been in recovery, she's saved a bundle in band-aids, first aid ointments, scar cream, aspirin, and pep bismo.

it's sometimes the little things that mean the most?

wiscgirl30

Yup, I have never gotten into trouble without alcohol either.... Wow..what a thought! Only took me till 32 to realize that!

wiscgirl30

Hmmm....last birthday... Danced topless at the strip bar, on stage. Had pictures taken. UGH. Then later on proceeded to hit on another girls boyfriend BADLY all night. THEN was feeling up the dude that brought us home... Nice.

Aysha

My bad moments would make this thread a lenghthy one.
I lived them once..paid the price on most. Didn't learn my lesson obviously.
Now It's time to focus on what to do so it doesn't happen again.

Debaucher

There are so many bad things I did and said... but I just can't share them in such a public place...

I will say this... I didn't know how much I was blacking out until recently. I knew of a few because I blacked out... and didn't come out of it until I woke up in the morning... and was like... um... how did I get here...

BUT... most of the time I would black out... say around 8:00 and come back to around 12:00... So the night seamed super short...

From some stories one of my buddy told me... I did it quite often... Pretty scary... who knows what I did?

The whole blackout thing scared me... really bad...

-----
I do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it...

If I do I will, perforce repeat it.

-----

topetah

wiscgirl. any idea if them photos are available over the net? lol bad joke sorry. i see are drunking mistakes make us stronger. we get a chance to look back and say wow i was really a dumb ass. since we are all sharing let me tell you a bit about myself and what ive done. i started smoking pot at age 14 then went to drinking snorting coke then freebasing. did a lot more in between. i grew up in burbank california. drugs were so easy to obtain. my brother was a dealer too. so if i need something he would have it or make a call. when i first started partying it was fun. soon after that i joined a la street gang. all went down hill from there. i remember one time smoking pcp on top of a store roof top. i fell down a flight of stairs and didnt even feel it. i ended up in the middle of the street because i couldnt walk. a rival gang that knew me stopped the car and to my surprise they took me home. i coulda easyly died that nite. but i didnt. i must have been really bad if a rival gang takes you home. ive been shot at many times hearing bullets fly by my feet and head. that opened up my eyes a bit. after losing 6 of my closest friends shot stabbed ran over by other gangs. it woke me up. police pulled me in to say that my friend had been stabbed with a butcher knife. he wrote down on a piece of paper that they were looking for me. thats when i decided to get outta california and move to kansas. my life is more important than some street. i have robbed doughnut stores to fullfill my habbit. stole from my work when i was a kid. robbed houses for vcrs tv's what ever i could get. i never got caught thank god and i never hurt any one while doing it. one nite i was asked to hold a gun for my friend. he ended up going to jail and i was stuck with his gun. i was walking home with it alone when the cops stopped me. lucky for me they didnt search me. the cops out there are so crooked its a shame. i remember getting caught robbing a house that had stollen goods in it. the floor was covered in new starter jackets duffle nike bags, new tv's and much more. when we walked out of the house (broad day lite) the cops put us in back of there car. after they went threw the house and found out how much stollen goods were in there they took everything we had taken and put it in there trunk. and let us go. i know they kept it but i didnt care i prob saved 4 years of jail time because they let us go. i have many gang stories but will limit it to that one. i was hooked on crack years ago and moving to kansas was my best move. if ide stayed i would be dead i know i would. or in jail. once in kansas i was clean i wanted to get clean. thank god for that because i married had a kid a house and now a good job. after the divorce i started using crack again. bad mistake. but thats the past for me now. i cant tell you how many times ive woken up with some stranger in my bed or theres. not knowing who she was. always looked for the condom wrapper but most times i didnt find one. thats really scary. i didnt know these woman and because i was drunk or high i didnt think much of std's or even aids. im lucky i dodged the bullet many times. every time i did that i always had myself tested. thank you god for protecting me yet again. ive woken up next to some well... lets just say not so pretty woman lol. its funny i like to think i have good high standerds. but when your drunk or high those standerds dont matter much. dont get me wrong ive woken up to some fine ones too but i dont remember the whole sex acts. so that was a waist too lol. bottom line what has brang me down and made me fail has made me stronger. i enjoyed my child hood life because i lived. most people are too scared to do what i did. im not proud of it but its my past and i cant beat myself up for what ive done to myself or others. im alive today when most of my friends are not. i know some one was looking over my shoulder. and god has protected me so much. it cant just be dumb luck. there has to be something else to it im sure. im not into going to church or the bible. but i know hes out there. and i thank you for saving me. thanks for listening..jason

wiscgirl30

Thank you for that post Jason. Yes, you are luckily to be alive...what a crazy place you have been.... Glad you are doing well now...

doorknob

I've done many things while drunk for which my only explanation is for some reason.

observer

I'm embarassed to say this... but I slept with a guy who was much younger than me that I'd just met that night at the bar. I couldn't even remember what he looked like the next day. I ran into him at another bar a few months ago & he slyly convinced me to do it once again! See, HE remembered ME. After the second time, I told him it never should've happened & drove him home. I've seen him since & just ignored him.

teej

hmmm, nope! I never did anything wrong. :Wshade

wiscgirl30

Lol!!!!!