Lorraine87

Hi new here but need some advice I’m struggling. Me and my partner have been together for about for 4 years and have a small child together. He has been an Alcoholic for over 10 years. He was engaging with addiction services and trying to cut down however when he drank his behaviour wasn’t so nice and I had to tell him to leave for the sake of myself and child. His mother then decided to send him to a rehab facility 2 days after we separated (even though I’d been asking his family for help for years, only when I put him out they actually have helped him) He contacted me the day before he went In as he was scared and told me he will always love me and needs to do this which I completely understand and want him to be the best he can be. After a couple of days he called me but ended in argument as he blamed me for him being there and it was all my fault but I expected this as he was going through detox. He then blocked me and didn’t contact for another couple of days which is confusing for me as I love him so much. One day he loves me then next he starts an argument because I want to know if he loves me and coming home to us after he leaves rehab. He says I’m toxic and to blame and can’t see it was his actions that cause me to put him out. He’s excepted gifts I’ve send over and still kind of keeping in touch occasionally saying he’s love me and misses me but telling me he is not making any rash decisions at the moment. But I don’t know where I stand I’m heartbroken and cry all the time Christmas and now new year alone is very hard, I know I’m being selfish but I’m willing to support him in anyway. He also is telling me he doesn’t want any visitors as will upset him saying goodbye but his son and I would just love a cuddle and show our support ,it’s been 3 weeks now since we have seen him and we miss him so much. Should I just give him the space to get better alone and pray he comes back to me or just realise he doesn’t want to be with me anymore and try to move on with my life. Very confused and hurting so bad.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Lorraine; I am terribly sorry for what our brings you here.

I am on the alcoholic side of this forum; sobriety and recovery can be a real rollercoaster ride for the alcoholic especially in the first year. The alcoholic can be dealing with significant physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms; they are beginning to see life through sober eyes; all of this requires a significant adjustment. It is good that your partner is in rehab; a good rehab center can help the alcoholic deal with both the physical and psychological issues involved with sobriety and recovery and those life issues which must be dealt with as well. Give your partner time and space to make such adjustments.

This time can be a roller coaster for you as well, which you are likely beginning to realize. Self-care is extremely important for you and your child. Alanon could help you through this and the upcoming times; such a support group/system could be instrumental in your own recovery from past issues with your alcoholic partner and in your future relationship with him. This is truly a very important time for both of you.

SR is a great source of support, also. I would suggest that you stay close to the folks here, also. There is a really great Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum here, as well. I’ll post a link.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/

Lorraine87

@SoberLeigh Thanks for your advice. I will look into getting support from Alanon and have a look at he forum link you posted. Thanks again 🙂