180 Day Challenge Part 5
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Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
Lol - Victorious, happy and glorious I am sadly not. Tonight a new low. Daughter ran off and ended up having to call the police. She is now back. I wonder when you just have to accept someone you love just wont change, wont listen to you? The irony of this is not lost on me. She is heading in a very wobbly direction.
The very long school summer holidays start next week. I am dreading them. Important that I learn to detach from all this so I might keep my focus on sobriety and my own inner journey.
I have never hear the word Habagat advbike. I like it - perhaps my daughters mood is like an extended habagat and it will give way to something more clement.....
Best wishes all.
The very long school summer holidays start next week. I am dreading them. Important that I learn to detach from all this so I might keep my focus on sobriety and my own inner journey.
I have never hear the word Habagat advbike. I like it - perhaps my daughters mood is like an extended habagat and it will give way to something more clement.....
Best wishes all.
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
It is interesting hearing those different terms from different places isn't it DF, thanks for sharing advbike. We live vicariously through your travels lol.
That's really, really tough DF, I'm really sorry it's so challenging. I think I mentioned my son had a bad period and I dealt with something eerily similar but he did 180 quite quickly and there's been no big trouble since then, except rudeness. Anyway I suppose I'm trying to give you hope but it doesn't help. Someone told me they apologised to their parent for the things they put them through as a teenager and whilst I'm sure they were being helpful it doesn't stop the stress or worry. Im praying things turn around soon for you and we are here to vent too. Your doing really well keeping on track and just come talk to us if you feel the need. I'm usually checking in regularly and your good at posting on the newcomers I've noticed.
We've hit a pothole here this morning so to speak. The car broke down on the way to my son's first day of work experience, that was meant to lead to an apprenticeship that he can do part time while still in school. What we call secondary school goes till year 12 (he's year 11), then it's tertiary training, trade qualifications or apprenticeships etc training after that.
I couldn't afford to replace the part but the roadside assistant took pity on me, said were practically neighbours as he lives nearby, organised a part at cost and is replacing it on his own time for me. He won't accept anything for it other then the cost of the part and assures me it's no trouble but I feel both blessed and terrible at the same time. It is an easy fix but the labour cost us just beyond me. I haven't been able to run a car due to my circumstances and affordability etc but put the car back on the road to help my son.
Anyway such a lovely thing for someone to do and even though my son has likely lost the opportunity it's a blessing and it means if there are ever any further opportunities I might be able to get him there. It was a rare opportunity but I'm feeling grateful and sure that something will come along shortly and if not he's still ahead as he takes any opportunity for vocational training and has also completed about 70% of the requirements for a young person to get a licence (much more complicated then 15 years ago when I got mine). Most people don't start an apprenticeship here until they have finished year 12 and have a licence and car. So we will just keep trying for opportunities and also need to get him a car, preferably more reliable than my old bomb 😂. Anyway that was a long rant so I'll finish off by wishing you all the best as always ❤️
That's really, really tough DF, I'm really sorry it's so challenging. I think I mentioned my son had a bad period and I dealt with something eerily similar but he did 180 quite quickly and there's been no big trouble since then, except rudeness. Anyway I suppose I'm trying to give you hope but it doesn't help. Someone told me they apologised to their parent for the things they put them through as a teenager and whilst I'm sure they were being helpful it doesn't stop the stress or worry. Im praying things turn around soon for you and we are here to vent too. Your doing really well keeping on track and just come talk to us if you feel the need. I'm usually checking in regularly and your good at posting on the newcomers I've noticed.
We've hit a pothole here this morning so to speak. The car broke down on the way to my son's first day of work experience, that was meant to lead to an apprenticeship that he can do part time while still in school. What we call secondary school goes till year 12 (he's year 11), then it's tertiary training, trade qualifications or apprenticeships etc training after that.
I couldn't afford to replace the part but the roadside assistant took pity on me, said were practically neighbours as he lives nearby, organised a part at cost and is replacing it on his own time for me. He won't accept anything for it other then the cost of the part and assures me it's no trouble but I feel both blessed and terrible at the same time. It is an easy fix but the labour cost us just beyond me. I haven't been able to run a car due to my circumstances and affordability etc but put the car back on the road to help my son.
Anyway such a lovely thing for someone to do and even though my son has likely lost the opportunity it's a blessing and it means if there are ever any further opportunities I might be able to get him there. It was a rare opportunity but I'm feeling grateful and sure that something will come along shortly and if not he's still ahead as he takes any opportunity for vocational training and has also completed about 70% of the requirements for a young person to get a licence (much more complicated then 15 years ago when I got mine). Most people don't start an apprenticeship here until they have finished year 12 and have a licence and car. So we will just keep trying for opportunities and also need to get him a car, preferably more reliable than my old bomb 😂. Anyway that was a long rant so I'll finish off by wishing you all the best as always ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Good morning all - Friday morning here. Headed over to the other island to inspect progress on the house. We will be staying in a beautiful small hotel but it is expected to be rainy most of the weekend.
Dusty, that situation was really scary, and I'm really glad to hear that your daughter is home, and safe. Perhaps one of these days her mood will shift from Habagat to Amihan.. just as the prevailing winds do here. They are not even sure exactly when it occurs, except in the rear view mirror - once a few weeks have passed in calmer, drier conditions and the breeze is more pleasant, they announce the Amihan has occurred..
Zura, I am so glad the good samaritan helped you out and your car is back up and running, but sorry it may have impacted your son's work opportunity for the moment. Cars are pretty essential in many areas unfortunately.
The situation here is different - tensions have been flaring for the past week or two, especially with all we have had to do - the ridiculous paperwork and documentation requirements for her son's new school, the various construction issues and not being able to be there enough, the tedious trips over, and the heat and humidity, which aggravates things for me. Our styles and personalities are just really different. I'm normally a rather calm, patient, and methodical person, but my girlfriend is faster moving, a bit touchy and prone to being critical - so my style can irritate her. It leads to tension, and I don't like conflict, so after a brief exchange I just internalize it and start to hold a resentment. I know it's not healthy, and I should learn to air my feelings better, but this wasn't how things were dealt with in my FOO. We just buried everything until things smoothed over. I won't drink over it though.
So it goes, I am in a good mood this morning and am hoping we have a good weekend, even if it's wet.
Best to all.
Dusty, that situation was really scary, and I'm really glad to hear that your daughter is home, and safe. Perhaps one of these days her mood will shift from Habagat to Amihan.. just as the prevailing winds do here. They are not even sure exactly when it occurs, except in the rear view mirror - once a few weeks have passed in calmer, drier conditions and the breeze is more pleasant, they announce the Amihan has occurred..
Zura, I am so glad the good samaritan helped you out and your car is back up and running, but sorry it may have impacted your son's work opportunity for the moment. Cars are pretty essential in many areas unfortunately.
The situation here is different - tensions have been flaring for the past week or two, especially with all we have had to do - the ridiculous paperwork and documentation requirements for her son's new school, the various construction issues and not being able to be there enough, the tedious trips over, and the heat and humidity, which aggravates things for me. Our styles and personalities are just really different. I'm normally a rather calm, patient, and methodical person, but my girlfriend is faster moving, a bit touchy and prone to being critical - so my style can irritate her. It leads to tension, and I don't like conflict, so after a brief exchange I just internalize it and start to hold a resentment. I know it's not healthy, and I should learn to air my feelings better, but this wasn't how things were dealt with in my FOO. We just buried everything until things smoothed over. I won't drink over it though.
So it goes, I am in a good mood this morning and am hoping we have a good weekend, even if it's wet.
Best to all.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
Thanks advbike, there's been delays for him getting the parts but he's keeping on it regardless and seems very willing to still take it all on. So thankful. I've been in touch with organisation that was going to host the work experience (step 1) and they said they are more than happy to host him anytime. The coordinator in the education department will keep an eye out for opportunities closer to home for my son also so all is not lost. Were being very well looked out for!!
Re the good samaritan, I had a strange feeling come over me and the next time we were discussing the repairs, I was compelled to ask him if he knew my dad (I'm pretty sure I mentioned here my dad passed away about a month ago). Turns out he worked with him back in the day, so I'm now convinced he was a message sent from heaven 😂
Sorry to hear about the difficulties advbike, life is so challenging, relationships especially so, compatibility etc, I sympathise with the school stuff etc also. So many hoops to jump through. I hope you have a nice weekend, despite the rain.
Hope things are well for everyone else, hope you've recovered a little bit from all the upset DF, it's so hard sometimes ❤️
Re the good samaritan, I had a strange feeling come over me and the next time we were discussing the repairs, I was compelled to ask him if he knew my dad (I'm pretty sure I mentioned here my dad passed away about a month ago). Turns out he worked with him back in the day, so I'm now convinced he was a message sent from heaven 😂
Sorry to hear about the difficulties advbike, life is so challenging, relationships especially so, compatibility etc, I sympathise with the school stuff etc also. So many hoops to jump through. I hope you have a nice weekend, despite the rain.
Hope things are well for everyone else, hope you've recovered a little bit from all the upset DF, it's so hard sometimes ❤️
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
Just dropping by to wish everyone a happy sober weekend. Had a very productive hard labour day yesterday and am off this morning to get a massage and might have a healthy meal by the lake. Going to take it easy today, probably stream a marvel movie I've been putting off watching when I get home. Let my body heal, went a bit too hard but I was in the zone with music playing and endorphins etc pumping. It was fun though and no real harm done. Best wishes to you all.
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Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
Zura. I really hope things work out for your sons' work experience, it sounds like it has been frustrating for him and you.
Advbike your post about the difference in personality between you and your GF made me smile. My husband is probably calmer than I am, and he certainly does not like confrontation but his FOO like yours never expressed big emotions, so I do sometimes get very frustrated that he buries emotion or glosses over them. It has taken me years to even start to accept that he is just never going to be able to express emotions in the way I want him to. So I empathise with you advbike, relationships are hard work especially when you have two very different personality types.
We all went to a really fabulous antique furniture restoration place , out in the countryside with so many wonderful old pieces of furniture and just 'stuff' - it had a cafe attached, in the style of a film noir set from the 40's. We all had cake, raspberry and almond, Victoria sponge, and Tea, The mood between me and daughter still low, but the cake did help and son in high spirits because he has just seen the new film Thor, and has made with his Dad , Thors Hammer out of a huge block of wood. I love it that he still gets pleasure from simple things.
Sober weekend here, despite husband drinking beer.
Best wishes to all.
Advbike your post about the difference in personality between you and your GF made me smile. My husband is probably calmer than I am, and he certainly does not like confrontation but his FOO like yours never expressed big emotions, so I do sometimes get very frustrated that he buries emotion or glosses over them. It has taken me years to even start to accept that he is just never going to be able to express emotions in the way I want him to. So I empathise with you advbike, relationships are hard work especially when you have two very different personality types.
We all went to a really fabulous antique furniture restoration place , out in the countryside with so many wonderful old pieces of furniture and just 'stuff' - it had a cafe attached, in the style of a film noir set from the 40's. We all had cake, raspberry and almond, Victoria sponge, and Tea, The mood between me and daughter still low, but the cake did help and son in high spirits because he has just seen the new film Thor, and has made with his Dad , Thors Hammer out of a huge block of wood. I love it that he still gets pleasure from simple things.
Sober weekend here, despite husband drinking beer.
Best wishes to all.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Good morning all, thanks for the understanding words. We have had a great weekend, staying in a small boutique resort overlooking the ocean and owned by a German and his Filipino wife. Just relaxing, swimming in the pool, and attending to matters here. Weather has been great - raining at night but sunny during the day, if a bit hot and humid, lol. The small tropical home is coming along nicely, walls are almost complete and roof going on next. The views are splendid, especially from the balcony, with 180 degrees, from distant mountains to the ocean in the distance. I would not want to fall of of it though, lol.
It sounds like all are doing well! Enjoy the rest of your weekends.
Best wishes to BABM and Pline too - miss you guys.
It sounds like all are doing well! Enjoy the rest of your weekends.
Best wishes to BABM and Pline too - miss you guys.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
Well work experience is back on for my son, but now at the place he originally applied for which he can get too by bus. Hopefully it's a positive experience and leads to an apprenticeship. They are fairly desperate for apprentices as there's not many people interested in the industry and the person he spoke to said if you continue on and stick with the apprenticeship it's a job for life. When asked if he had a passion for the industry he said not really, it's just something to do 😂 they weren't really impressed. I'm not sure what they were expecting, as most 17 year olds here don't have a clue what they want to do with their career and the exact purpose of work experience is to trial a job type to see if it's something you can do. But he's brutally honest and doesn't follow scripts or "blow smoke up people's you know what" as he told me. I'm often impressed with his authenticity, I don't think he will ever suffer from imposter syndrome 😂 Anyway, he has done well in other vocational training and the trainer's were always impressed with his performance and he's not rude just homest, so I'm sure that will be what matters in the long term.
Sounds like a nice day out DF, I imagine its a very tense time, but glad cake helped. Glad the hotel was nice advbike.
Hope everyone is doing well ❤️
Sounds like a nice day out DF, I imagine its a very tense time, but glad cake helped. Glad the hotel was nice advbike.
Hope everyone is doing well ❤️
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Good to hear your son has the opportunity back, Zura. Funny how he reacted, but typical I think. My girlfriend’s son is also very low key, not prone to enthusiasm or self-promotion at all, haha. But smart and diligent.
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
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Glad your son has a place to explore after the chaotic day with the car. The story totally reminded me of when I ran out of gas on my way to my eldest job interview at a large department store. She got the job. She was paying me back for $1200 worth of international sex calls. My phone had been cut off. I took 80% of her salary for nine months, as she was a high schooler at the time.
Adv, it’s good you can see and feel the tensions and differences, and accept them. I’m so lucky that I am married to someone that is amazingly easy to get along with. I’m the high strung one.
In fact, my stepson is very brutally honest, and after he brought my eldest to departing airport on Sunday, as he was reporting off, he said he saw similarities of her in me (this was their third meeting). “Hyper and inquisitive” 🤩🤓❤️
Things well here. Living it, feeling more calm daily, especially with the visitation.
House building is stressful right now, so maybe squeeze in a pic from there later.
Love to all
Adv, it’s good you can see and feel the tensions and differences, and accept them. I’m so lucky that I am married to someone that is amazingly easy to get along with. I’m the high strung one.
In fact, my stepson is very brutally honest, and after he brought my eldest to departing airport on Sunday, as he was reporting off, he said he saw similarities of her in me (this was their third meeting). “Hyper and inquisitive” 🤩🤓❤️
Things well here. Living it, feeling more calm daily, especially with the visitation.
House building is stressful right now, so maybe squeeze in a pic from there later.
Love to all
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
Assuming your back at base camp advbike, hope it's a good week for you.
Oh my Free, on the way to a job interview 😱 so glad she still got that job, that's great. $1200 is alot, the things our kids do 🤦 Im sure most of my grey hairs are from my kids antics 😜 hey I was no angel, but not TOO bad, or so I like to think lol. I remember my mum being super annoyed over something quite serious one of my siblings did and telling them she hopes they have a kid just like them 😂 the joys of kids.
Anyway, son got off to work experience this morning ok except he forgot his belt. So I was jokingly giving him advice on how not to flash plumbers crack 😂 He had a laugh which is good as he is very nervous. I remember those days well and am thinking of him today. He has alot to contend with (ADHD, dyslexia, high anxiety, trauma etc) so I'm hoping he isn't too overwhelmed and can show his true potential.
Hyper and inquisitive sounds like a good combo Free! I bet life's more fun with you around. I'm sure you and hubby balance each other out nicely.
Hope your starting off a better week too DF❤️
BABM and Pline, hope you drop in soon ❤️
Oh my Free, on the way to a job interview 😱 so glad she still got that job, that's great. $1200 is alot, the things our kids do 🤦 Im sure most of my grey hairs are from my kids antics 😜 hey I was no angel, but not TOO bad, or so I like to think lol. I remember my mum being super annoyed over something quite serious one of my siblings did and telling them she hopes they have a kid just like them 😂 the joys of kids.
Anyway, son got off to work experience this morning ok except he forgot his belt. So I was jokingly giving him advice on how not to flash plumbers crack 😂 He had a laugh which is good as he is very nervous. I remember those days well and am thinking of him today. He has alot to contend with (ADHD, dyslexia, high anxiety, trauma etc) so I'm hoping he isn't too overwhelmed and can show his true potential.
Hyper and inquisitive sounds like a good combo Free! I bet life's more fun with you around. I'm sure you and hubby balance each other out nicely.
Hope your starting off a better week too DF❤️
BABM and Pline, hope you drop in soon ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Ha ha ha, Zura - plumbers crack.. must be a worldwide phenomenon.. so funny!
All fine here. Spent a good part of the day yesterday figuring out and booking my return travel to the States for later next month. I had left some of it open due to visa and covid uncertainties, then extended fairly early in my trip. I had the return to Honolulu already booked but had to change the date again, arrange for my hotel, the travel from HNL to home - another long flight, hotel stay and rental car. Fortunately all covered by FF miles and hotel points but it took chunk out of them. Well that's what they're for, right? Total of 3 flights, two hotels and rental car to get back. All because I refuse to take 15 hour flights, lol.
Wishing all the best.
All fine here. Spent a good part of the day yesterday figuring out and booking my return travel to the States for later next month. I had left some of it open due to visa and covid uncertainties, then extended fairly early in my trip. I had the return to Honolulu already booked but had to change the date again, arrange for my hotel, the travel from HNL to home - another long flight, hotel stay and rental car. Fortunately all covered by FF miles and hotel points but it took chunk out of them. Well that's what they're for, right? Total of 3 flights, two hotels and rental car to get back. All because I refuse to take 15 hour flights, lol.
Wishing all the best.
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we continue here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-6-a.html (180 Day Challenge Part 6)
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https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-6-a.html (180 Day Challenge Part 6)
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