180 Day Challenge Part 5
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180 Day Challenge Part 5
over hung over
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 635
Do I start?
New thread, thanks Dee.
No Adv, its a DB6. The next model along. I think they are better looking, but I'm probably a bit biased. They have a different arse end. What is called the 'Kamm tail", it has a little upturn on the boot lid to keep the back wheels down.
Cutting out the rust and welding the new parts in was the crucial bit. I had good help. We drilled holes in the concrete floor of the garage here, put in locksons and chained the car down tight with turnbuckles. So nothing could move when it was cut and welded. I got folded up metal parts from a restore firm in the UK. and we went at it with a cutting wheel and a brand new Lincoln Sentry mig welder. It was a bit of a mad effort. But I look at it now and appreciate how well it was done. All the doors,even loosely fitted, have perfect gaps all around.
It was an automatic. So there has to be another gearbox. They used ZF gearboxes for the manuals. ZF are German, made transmissions for porsche designed ww2 Panther tanks. I have a brand new one, but it is too light. So, if there is anyone out there reading this who needs a brand new ZF box for their souped up BMW/ Fiat there's one here...7.5K plus postage. They shared manual boxes with Maserati....so I search for Mazza spares.
It will probably never have an original gearbox, but there is a US replacement kit. Tremac, used in US dragsters.
It is a powerful heavy car. My father had a beautiful Aston 2/4. My mother used to drive it. "God", she said when this one came along, "....it was like driving a truck." Advice from your Mum is always valuable.
New thread, thanks Dee.
No Adv, its a DB6. The next model along. I think they are better looking, but I'm probably a bit biased. They have a different arse end. What is called the 'Kamm tail", it has a little upturn on the boot lid to keep the back wheels down.
Cutting out the rust and welding the new parts in was the crucial bit. I had good help. We drilled holes in the concrete floor of the garage here, put in locksons and chained the car down tight with turnbuckles. So nothing could move when it was cut and welded. I got folded up metal parts from a restore firm in the UK. and we went at it with a cutting wheel and a brand new Lincoln Sentry mig welder. It was a bit of a mad effort. But I look at it now and appreciate how well it was done. All the doors,even loosely fitted, have perfect gaps all around.
It was an automatic. So there has to be another gearbox. They used ZF gearboxes for the manuals. ZF are German, made transmissions for porsche designed ww2 Panther tanks. I have a brand new one, but it is too light. So, if there is anyone out there reading this who needs a brand new ZF box for their souped up BMW/ Fiat there's one here...7.5K plus postage. They shared manual boxes with Maserati....so I search for Mazza spares.
It will probably never have an original gearbox, but there is a US replacement kit. Tremac, used in US dragsters.
It is a powerful heavy car. My father had a beautiful Aston 2/4. My mother used to drive it. "God", she said when this one came along, "....it was like driving a truck." Advice from your Mum is always valuable.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
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Oh man, Pline, that is so cool. A DB6.. What a project! You guys did it the right way for sure. Now you have me thinking about another coupe. In graphit of course. I would love to see pics of that Aston sometime. Your mum was right. I bought my 635 from a woman, who remarked that it was a man’s car, lol, and it was. Had a Getrag ‘box and oem leather recaro seats…and the stories it could tell.. fond memories..
Well I’m on my second cuppa, chilly here in the desert this morning and need to get my day going.
Well I’m on my second cuppa, chilly here in the desert this morning and need to get my day going.
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My son is car mad and has a collection of cars , so far only on Forza Horizon, he knows more about cars at age 11 than anyone I know - I am sure if I read him pline's post he would understand every word - unlike me!
Hope all are well - wonderful 7 mile hike through woodland today, bluebells and wild garlic.
Hope all are well - wonderful 7 mile hike through woodland today, bluebells and wild garlic.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
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Originally Posted by dustyfox 
My son is car mad and has a collection of cars , so far only on Forza Horizon, he knows more about cars at age 11 than anyone I know - I am sure if I read him pline's post he would understand every word - unlike me!
Hope all are well - wonderful 7 mile hike through woodland today, bluebells and wild garlic.
Hope all are well - wonderful 7 mile hike through woodland today, bluebells and wild garlic.
All going well here - busy as heck on projects, taxes and selling the rental. No thoughts of alcohol at all. I think it took the hard-learned realization that any quantity at all, even two or three lousy beers, disrupts my sleep and brings on the anxiety. So why bother? Foot is much better so will be back to two hours every other day on the bicycle by the end of the week. Will also be in the pool at the other place until it is gone next month.
Hope all are well.
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,695
Good morning all 🌞
Pline - hope things are well.
DF - your woodland walk sounds magical.
Advbike - so glad to hear your healing up and can start back cycling soon.
Free - any more adventures? Hopefully not the kind with rabid dogs 😬
BABM - how's things going?
Morning of day 21, going great, except I reinjured my ankle yesterday. Oh well small potatoes I'm the grand scheme of things. Will just take alot longer to get my planting done but hopefully I can get it in I'm time and establishing before the frosts start 😬 living on the edge 😂
Pline - hope things are well.
DF - your woodland walk sounds magical.
Advbike - so glad to hear your healing up and can start back cycling soon.
Free - any more adventures? Hopefully not the kind with rabid dogs 😬
BABM - how's things going?
Morning of day 21, going great, except I reinjured my ankle yesterday. Oh well small potatoes I'm the grand scheme of things. Will just take alot longer to get my planting done but hopefully I can get it in I'm time and establishing before the frosts start 😬 living on the edge 😂
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Fantastic job on 21 days, Zura!!!! You rock!! Seriously, the first few weeks are hard, and that's great to hear. Great job all round. Sorry to hear of your ankle injury, though. Big hug for a speedy recovery.
Your hike sounds fabulous and peaceful, Dusty.
Well I got the taxes done today. It's always so traumatic - yelling and screaming at the computer, my financial institutions, and my filing, which is a disorganized mix of paper and digital receipts, some in email, some in folders on the computer, or in Quicken, and some online. etc.. I think this is the worst it's been. I used to be more organized when I had to get it all to my accountant, lol. Thank God for Turbotax.
I briefly pondered a beer at one point, then realized how ridiculous that was, and had two bowls of natural cocoa crispys instead. And worked on it for 2 more hours. Then cleaned up and had a nice healthy dinner.
Tomorrow I will review all of it when I'm fresh, then submit, and go for a long bike ride, since I did not get one today. Saturday is motorcycle day and I can't wait.
Wishing all the best.
Your hike sounds fabulous and peaceful, Dusty.
Well I got the taxes done today. It's always so traumatic - yelling and screaming at the computer, my financial institutions, and my filing, which is a disorganized mix of paper and digital receipts, some in email, some in folders on the computer, or in Quicken, and some online. etc.. I think this is the worst it's been. I used to be more organized when I had to get it all to my accountant, lol. Thank God for Turbotax.
I briefly pondered a beer at one point, then realized how ridiculous that was, and had two bowls of natural cocoa crispys instead. And worked on it for 2 more hours. Then cleaned up and had a nice healthy dinner.
Tomorrow I will review all of it when I'm fresh, then submit, and go for a long bike ride, since I did not get one today. Saturday is motorcycle day and I can't wait.
Wishing all the best.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Advbike- You make me laugh. I totally get the stress of taxes. Finding all the info you need. Putting all that info into turbo tax. You have assets and other stuff that makes this more complicated then just entering the C column into C and moving onto the D column.
Ive got to say I was surprised to read that you are not using an accountant. I mean, you can do it and you did do it. Two bowls of cereal and some blown nerves later. Good for you!
I get real tense when I am entering all those numbers into Turbo Tax. "Please do not talk to me for the next few hours" kind of energy. Its always a "moment" for me. You got it done though. Right in time. Hit send and be done with it. Congratulations, Advbike! Onwards and upwards.
Ive got to say I was surprised to read that you are not using an accountant. I mean, you can do it and you did do it. Two bowls of cereal and some blown nerves later. Good for you!
I get real tense when I am entering all those numbers into Turbo Tax. "Please do not talk to me for the next few hours" kind of energy. Its always a "moment" for me. You got it done though. Right in time. Hit send and be done with it. Congratulations, Advbike! Onwards and upwards.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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A blessed Good Friday to all.
Having a good day and wrapping up some things before a long bike ride. Nice to know I'm not alone with the tax stress, Mizz!
Wishing all a peaceful, sober and safe Easter weekend.
Having a good day and wrapping up some things before a long bike ride. Nice to know I'm not alone with the tax stress, Mizz!
Wishing all a peaceful, sober and safe Easter weekend.
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11.3 miles 2030 v feet up, 4060 round trip. Two dogs barked and ran up on me today, they were goldens, and friendly as that bred USUALLY is. I told hubby I want pepper spray, might work better than sticks or putters. 🤯🤪
my husband did his own complicated taxes too.
Good urge surfing adv, have fun tomorrow on bike.
Will be off grid from 4/18-4/25, so no worries ( unless I don’t post anywhere by 4/28) but we are revising our wills in case……..🧐🤨
my husband did his own complicated taxes too.
Good urge surfing adv, have fun tomorrow on bike.
Will be off grid from 4/18-4/25, so no worries ( unless I don’t post anywhere by 4/28) but we are revising our wills in case……..🧐🤨
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Ive met more friendly dogs then I have aggressive, Free. That doesn't mean anything to me though. I am afraid of dogs in a lot of ways. They have sharp teeth. Sharp nails.
I have a taser flashlight weapon I carry with me on my runs. This thing is REALLY powerful and kind of makes me question if I should be carrying it with my clumsiness? I mean, it would be the worst if I ended up accidentally using it on myself......I don't know how that would happen, but I'm just trying to look at all angles considering who I am and how I function in the world
When I purchased this taser flashlight weapon I had to register my name in a database. I signed those papers not thinking much about it, and then this taser flashlight weapon shows up and I kind of stared at it like " I don't think "I" should be the one carrying this. Someone is going to get hurt and I don't think the "Someone" is going to be the other guy!" Anyways......True story.....I almost killed my Iphone with this taser flashlight weapon. The one good thing about this "scary thing I carry with me on my runs" is the brightness of the flashlight. Blinding light. I mean, BLINDING. No one is seeing anything after being subjected to its brightness.
I tried it out. That could be why I ended up in Portland undergoing an eye surgery. "This splotch is from YOU using a taser flashlight weapon on yourself. Its not a tumor. You burned your eye, dummy!" ........JK!
Get some pepper spray. Use it if you have too. I think the spray would of been very useful when the stray dog came up on you at the course.
I have a taser flashlight weapon I carry with me on my runs. This thing is REALLY powerful and kind of makes me question if I should be carrying it with my clumsiness? I mean, it would be the worst if I ended up accidentally using it on myself......I don't know how that would happen, but I'm just trying to look at all angles considering who I am and how I function in the world
When I purchased this taser flashlight weapon I had to register my name in a database. I signed those papers not thinking much about it, and then this taser flashlight weapon shows up and I kind of stared at it like " I don't think "I" should be the one carrying this. Someone is going to get hurt and I don't think the "Someone" is going to be the other guy!" Anyways......True story.....I almost killed my Iphone with this taser flashlight weapon. The one good thing about this "scary thing I carry with me on my runs" is the brightness of the flashlight. Blinding light. I mean, BLINDING. No one is seeing anything after being subjected to its brightness.
I tried it out. That could be why I ended up in Portland undergoing an eye surgery. "This splotch is from YOU using a taser flashlight weapon on yourself. Its not a tumor. You burned your eye, dummy!" ........JK!
Get some pepper spray. Use it if you have too. I think the spray would of been very useful when the stray dog came up on you at the course.
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Ha ha ha ha! Mizz, you are so funny! Sounds like an amazing device. I'm glad you have a way to protect yourself, but be careful! I have also heard pepper spray works, just be careful if it's windy., as it can blow back on you.
I used to bike a lot on back roads in the countryside when I lived in Oregon. Absolutely beautiful, peaceful and calm.. until the silence is broken by a ferocious dog tearing out of a yard at full speed, barking and with it's teeth bared. They come out of nowhere and it is truly frightening. The meme "junkyard dog" comes to mind.. Really gets the adrenaline going and the pedaling cadence up. If there is a pack they will try to get you off the bike, where they can (presumably) tear you to bits.. never happened to me but came close a couple of times and it was a serious cause for concern. I am a dog lover, but feel like shooting the owners to have dogs like that unleashed or fenced, and terrorizing people. But that's sort of how country life is in the States. I considered pepper spray and would have got some for my next overnight tour but then I moved here and no longer do that sort of biking, and due to the heat the dogs seem to be lazier, haha.
Well enough of those thoughts. It's Easter and I wish goodwill to all, and everyone in our little group the best. A happy, restful and peaceful day.
Free, I hope you have an amazing journey down the Colorado River, and camping under the stars. They are so clear and brilliant here in the Southwest.
I used to bike a lot on back roads in the countryside when I lived in Oregon. Absolutely beautiful, peaceful and calm.. until the silence is broken by a ferocious dog tearing out of a yard at full speed, barking and with it's teeth bared. They come out of nowhere and it is truly frightening. The meme "junkyard dog" comes to mind.. Really gets the adrenaline going and the pedaling cadence up. If there is a pack they will try to get you off the bike, where they can (presumably) tear you to bits.. never happened to me but came close a couple of times and it was a serious cause for concern. I am a dog lover, but feel like shooting the owners to have dogs like that unleashed or fenced, and terrorizing people. But that's sort of how country life is in the States. I considered pepper spray and would have got some for my next overnight tour but then I moved here and no longer do that sort of biking, and due to the heat the dogs seem to be lazier, haha.
Well enough of those thoughts. It's Easter and I wish goodwill to all, and everyone in our little group the best. A happy, restful and peaceful day.
Free, I hope you have an amazing journey down the Colorado River, and camping under the stars. They are so clear and brilliant here in the Southwest.
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Join Date: Oct 2019
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Mizz 😂
Advbike, those sound like some scary dogs 😳
I only ever almost got bitten by a dog once. I was younger and didn't know not to turn your back on a dog that was being aggressive, close call, but I only suffered saliva on the backs of my legs and a hole in the back of my skirt....
When I was a teen my own cat did attack me once 😂 On my way inside I saw him under a low to the ground tree and reached in to pet him, he clawed my arm and there was a very deep wound when I pulled my arm out. I went into shock and stumbled inside to show my mum......I was in such a state from the shock I was swaying, she asked if I was drunk 😂 Lucky I had proof of the attack otherwise I might have been in trouble.
Advbike, those sound like some scary dogs 😳
I only ever almost got bitten by a dog once. I was younger and didn't know not to turn your back on a dog that was being aggressive, close call, but I only suffered saliva on the backs of my legs and a hole in the back of my skirt....
When I was a teen my own cat did attack me once 😂 On my way inside I saw him under a low to the ground tree and reached in to pet him, he clawed my arm and there was a very deep wound when I pulled my arm out. I went into shock and stumbled inside to show my mum......I was in such a state from the shock I was swaying, she asked if I was drunk 😂 Lucky I had proof of the attack otherwise I might have been in trouble.
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Join Date: Dec 2020
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Good morning TEAM 180- I found this collection of wisdom in an email folder this past weekend. It is a question someone here on SR posed to the community and the "best of" responses, which I copied and pasted for myself back in Dec 2020. Team 180 may recognize a couple of respondents..... ; )
Why is this so hard? I don't even feel life when I am sober, but when I am drunk I feel nirvana.
Dee--It is hard when you’re self medicating.
Are you really reaching nirvana tho? You’ve seemed pretty depressed and down when you’ve been posting here drinking.
It takes time for the brain and body to right itself from long term use and abuse of alcohol etc. If you’re still on meds they won’t work as well or maybe at all if you’re drinking.
The transition from drinker to non drinker is hard especially if you’re self medicating. It’s a leap of faith that things will get better if you stop drinking - but it’s a safe and pretty well assured leap of faith because so many people here have done it.
SuzieQ---Stick with us. The early days seem monotonous—I get it. But, life isn’t better with booze. I’m here for you. I’m new to being sober too—at 3 weeks—and I’m trying to understand what sober life is like and it’s better than the hangovers, regret and shame. It will take time—stick with us.
Aellece---IMO, seeking Nirvana (especially in the distorted way we confuse it with a drug-induced state) is a desire to escape from ordinary life. Of course it is hard to give that up. I definitely drank primarily to escape, and my alcohol cravings now are always associated with some level of nostalgia for it. Some people question whether there is such a thing as 'reality' at all, and I won't get into that topic, but the drunken "world" we experience most definitely does not exist anywhere outside of that mental state and what perception under the influence is able to create. Those who truly believe in Nirvana may see it as the ultimate reality, but being drunk is nothing but an extreme, isolated fantasy state, however pleasant momentarily.
I think we need to create and experience a fulfilling sober life that will be "competitive" enough to outweigh the desire for that fantasy world, and that is certainly hard after many years of existing in the drinking universe. That is true recovery though, I believe?
Stickyone--For myself when we decide to get clean and times get tough we remember the euphoria from alcohol and drugs highlighting the good times. But I always remember the bad times and the things I have lost along the way. I don't hold on so much too the emotions that come with it. I just remind myself why I choose to get sober and the goals I have. One day at a time will add up.
Wastinglife--I can relate. I am indifferent, apathetic in sobriety. I've lost everything already and have difficulty finding reasons not to drink. The booze doesn't bring me to 'nirvana' like it used to however. That euphoric feeling i used to get after a few beers seems to allude me now.
Nez--For me sobriety was initially hard and even miserable, but with time, it became easier and even fun.
For me drinking was initally easy and even fun, but with time, it became harder and even miserable.
Neither choice is stagnant, they both are progressive. One progresses in a negative direction. The other progresses in a positive direction.
When viewed in that light, I know I finally made the right choice.
beabetterman--I'm still a little apathetic at 5 months. But I accept that. I mean, when I was drinking and using it was a total crap show. We have to give this thing time, I truly believe it. If after a year or so I am not "happy" then I'll get worried. For now, I'm gonna ride the boring train. The only other train running in my neighborhood is the **** train, so I'm gonna stay on this one.
be123---Your brain has been altered by the substance. It's a chemical reaction, you had no choice in that, it's just science. As humans we like to think we control things that we don't. Put salt on ice and it melts, there is no decision there. Put alcohol into the brain repeatedly and it starts to misfire around how we experience pleasure and reward. There is no morality, no choice, no human agency. It's science, it's nature.
The good news is that you don't need to believe in a science but it will still keep doing it's thing. Gravity held things down before newton named it! If you do not drink your brain will repair, probably in the time scale between 6-24 months. You can help it along the way by eating well, exercising, resting, being mindful. Practising gratitude and serving others seems to help it mend.
Whilst our brain is on the mend surround yourself with other people who can be your brain for you. I think submitting yourself to following advice from kind others is vital. My experience was that thinking with a broken brain led me to make broken choices, so I stopped thinking and started doing what others advised.
My brain is healing. Maybe it'll never be as good as new but the way it processes pleasure, the way rewards are experienced, and crucially habit are getting better.
Snazzydresser-These are weighty questions you're asking yourself. They cut right to the heart of what it is to be alive, what it means to be happy or suffer, whether it actually means anything to begin with. A huge advantage to being sober for me, of choosing to undergo this difficult ongoing process, is that I now get to wrestle with hard existential questions like those with a clear head. And that's the only way they can ever truly be understood.
Owen90--Remember that the nirvana you were experiencing is an artificial, fake existence and that you need to walk these hard steps in order to fly with sober freedom. When you get through this initial hard stage (and you will) and are then able to spread your wings, it is a more raw, more intense and by far a better feeling than any high imaginable.
Freeowl-- I don't believe it's Nirvana you feel my friend. Pills, Alcohol, those are a gateway into another 'place', sure.... but let us not conflate that place with the domain of the Spirit.
MizzP--There has to be a point when being sober and present outweighs the "highs" associated with using.
"Nirvana", as you have called it, only lasts for a very short period of time and then its the aftermath (hangovers, behavior, emotional, mental, physical, financial struggle) that needs to be dealt with. I spend way more time in the "aftermath" then I do in the "Nirvana" state. The aftermath was getting more severe and detrimental.
Its not really worth it when I lay it all on the table and look at my life as a whole.
This sober road is not linear and it may take a few tries of abstinence and relapse before recovery sticks. I am not saying it is okay to relapse but it is par for the course for a lot of people.
When drinking or using becomes habitual it is very hard to retrain ourselves out of that habit but we do it and it becomes easier with time.
Why is this so hard? I don't even feel life when I am sober, but when I am drunk I feel nirvana.
Dee--It is hard when you’re self medicating.
Are you really reaching nirvana tho? You’ve seemed pretty depressed and down when you’ve been posting here drinking.
It takes time for the brain and body to right itself from long term use and abuse of alcohol etc. If you’re still on meds they won’t work as well or maybe at all if you’re drinking.
The transition from drinker to non drinker is hard especially if you’re self medicating. It’s a leap of faith that things will get better if you stop drinking - but it’s a safe and pretty well assured leap of faith because so many people here have done it.
SuzieQ---Stick with us. The early days seem monotonous—I get it. But, life isn’t better with booze. I’m here for you. I’m new to being sober too—at 3 weeks—and I’m trying to understand what sober life is like and it’s better than the hangovers, regret and shame. It will take time—stick with us.
Aellece---IMO, seeking Nirvana (especially in the distorted way we confuse it with a drug-induced state) is a desire to escape from ordinary life. Of course it is hard to give that up. I definitely drank primarily to escape, and my alcohol cravings now are always associated with some level of nostalgia for it. Some people question whether there is such a thing as 'reality' at all, and I won't get into that topic, but the drunken "world" we experience most definitely does not exist anywhere outside of that mental state and what perception under the influence is able to create. Those who truly believe in Nirvana may see it as the ultimate reality, but being drunk is nothing but an extreme, isolated fantasy state, however pleasant momentarily.
I think we need to create and experience a fulfilling sober life that will be "competitive" enough to outweigh the desire for that fantasy world, and that is certainly hard after many years of existing in the drinking universe. That is true recovery though, I believe?
Stickyone--For myself when we decide to get clean and times get tough we remember the euphoria from alcohol and drugs highlighting the good times. But I always remember the bad times and the things I have lost along the way. I don't hold on so much too the emotions that come with it. I just remind myself why I choose to get sober and the goals I have. One day at a time will add up.
Wastinglife--I can relate. I am indifferent, apathetic in sobriety. I've lost everything already and have difficulty finding reasons not to drink. The booze doesn't bring me to 'nirvana' like it used to however. That euphoric feeling i used to get after a few beers seems to allude me now.
Nez--For me sobriety was initially hard and even miserable, but with time, it became easier and even fun.
For me drinking was initally easy and even fun, but with time, it became harder and even miserable.
Neither choice is stagnant, they both are progressive. One progresses in a negative direction. The other progresses in a positive direction.
When viewed in that light, I know I finally made the right choice.
beabetterman--I'm still a little apathetic at 5 months. But I accept that. I mean, when I was drinking and using it was a total crap show. We have to give this thing time, I truly believe it. If after a year or so I am not "happy" then I'll get worried. For now, I'm gonna ride the boring train. The only other train running in my neighborhood is the **** train, so I'm gonna stay on this one.
be123---Your brain has been altered by the substance. It's a chemical reaction, you had no choice in that, it's just science. As humans we like to think we control things that we don't. Put salt on ice and it melts, there is no decision there. Put alcohol into the brain repeatedly and it starts to misfire around how we experience pleasure and reward. There is no morality, no choice, no human agency. It's science, it's nature.
The good news is that you don't need to believe in a science but it will still keep doing it's thing. Gravity held things down before newton named it! If you do not drink your brain will repair, probably in the time scale between 6-24 months. You can help it along the way by eating well, exercising, resting, being mindful. Practising gratitude and serving others seems to help it mend.
Whilst our brain is on the mend surround yourself with other people who can be your brain for you. I think submitting yourself to following advice from kind others is vital. My experience was that thinking with a broken brain led me to make broken choices, so I stopped thinking and started doing what others advised.
My brain is healing. Maybe it'll never be as good as new but the way it processes pleasure, the way rewards are experienced, and crucially habit are getting better.
Snazzydresser-These are weighty questions you're asking yourself. They cut right to the heart of what it is to be alive, what it means to be happy or suffer, whether it actually means anything to begin with. A huge advantage to being sober for me, of choosing to undergo this difficult ongoing process, is that I now get to wrestle with hard existential questions like those with a clear head. And that's the only way they can ever truly be understood.
Owen90--Remember that the nirvana you were experiencing is an artificial, fake existence and that you need to walk these hard steps in order to fly with sober freedom. When you get through this initial hard stage (and you will) and are then able to spread your wings, it is a more raw, more intense and by far a better feeling than any high imaginable.
Freeowl-- I don't believe it's Nirvana you feel my friend. Pills, Alcohol, those are a gateway into another 'place', sure.... but let us not conflate that place with the domain of the Spirit.
MizzP--There has to be a point when being sober and present outweighs the "highs" associated with using.
"Nirvana", as you have called it, only lasts for a very short period of time and then its the aftermath (hangovers, behavior, emotional, mental, physical, financial struggle) that needs to be dealt with. I spend way more time in the "aftermath" then I do in the "Nirvana" state. The aftermath was getting more severe and detrimental.
Its not really worth it when I lay it all on the table and look at my life as a whole.
This sober road is not linear and it may take a few tries of abstinence and relapse before recovery sticks. I am not saying it is okay to relapse but it is par for the course for a lot of people.
When drinking or using becomes habitual it is very hard to retrain ourselves out of that habit but we do it and it becomes easier with time.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Slayin- My history is one of relapse. A serial relapser, if you will. I've been working at sobriety, on and off, for over a decade.
Sober for almost a year, then relapse. Sober for almost another year then relapse. Then another sober stint. Relapse.
I just could not seem to get past the one year threshold. I am now at 18 months sober.
Alcohol is a very powerful substance. You are more powerful though. You have the strength to overcome any obstacle. Never be defeated and never surrender. Its true. Believe in your ability to overcome this challenge and take what you have learned to help others. You got this.
Relapse is a chapter in the novel of our precious lives. I believe in you, Slayin!
Sober for almost a year, then relapse. Sober for almost another year then relapse. Then another sober stint. Relapse.
I just could not seem to get past the one year threshold. I am now at 18 months sober.
Alcohol is a very powerful substance. You are more powerful though. You have the strength to overcome any obstacle. Never be defeated and never surrender. Its true. Believe in your ability to overcome this challenge and take what you have learned to help others. You got this.
Relapse is a chapter in the novel of our precious lives. I believe in you, Slayin!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Location: New England, U.S
Posts: 204
Hello Mizz! sorry if I gave the impression that I relapsed! hell no! I am 9 months sober and loving the sober life....I posted an old email that I had sent to myself over a year ago to potentially help anyone out there who might be wondering "why" get sober or what is so great about the sober life or the lie that we tell ourself that being drunk is nirvana. It is hardly that...quite the opposite in fact.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I agree, Slayin’ and really appreciate your post. Fantastic job on 9 months, my friend. You have really got this now, and are reaping the rewards.
I personally can’t stand being drunk, never found it to be nirvana, except perhaps in my twenties. And I never have to worry that a beer or two will set me off on a blackout episode, weeks of drinking, or crazy actions that are out of my control. Perhaps knowing this is my curse. My problem is simply that I love the taste of good beer and wine, and I trained my lizard brain very well, over decades, that a few will relieve my anxiety from being stressed or feeling overwhelmed. And like everyone else here, I have a hard time stopping at one or two once I start, although I do still have an off switch. So even though I have learned to resist the desire to “enjoy a few” on a hot day, the minute I get triggered by an external event, my AV starts up with the obvious “solution”. Therein lies the biggest problem for me.
My “off” switch is lower than it was before, at only at 3-4 now, but it still destroys my sleep and raises my anxiety for a couple days. And makes me want more. Crap! there is the evil in it - it would become daily if I let it. This is why i know I am alcohol dependent. I haven't, since my 3 years in 2013-2017, but the relapse pattern keeps repeating, and it has become completely toxic to my system now. Unfortunately, my lizard brain doesn't realize that, so during stressful times I still get those damn thoughts. That’s what I have to fix, and the only way is to stay off it permanently. At 15 days again, I feel great, no urges.. until the next issue comes up, lol. Thats when it takes effort to resist and build the sober muscles.
Thanks for your post and a great week to all. I have lots to do and keep myself occupied
I personally can’t stand being drunk, never found it to be nirvana, except perhaps in my twenties. And I never have to worry that a beer or two will set me off on a blackout episode, weeks of drinking, or crazy actions that are out of my control. Perhaps knowing this is my curse. My problem is simply that I love the taste of good beer and wine, and I trained my lizard brain very well, over decades, that a few will relieve my anxiety from being stressed or feeling overwhelmed. And like everyone else here, I have a hard time stopping at one or two once I start, although I do still have an off switch. So even though I have learned to resist the desire to “enjoy a few” on a hot day, the minute I get triggered by an external event, my AV starts up with the obvious “solution”. Therein lies the biggest problem for me.
My “off” switch is lower than it was before, at only at 3-4 now, but it still destroys my sleep and raises my anxiety for a couple days. And makes me want more. Crap! there is the evil in it - it would become daily if I let it. This is why i know I am alcohol dependent. I haven't, since my 3 years in 2013-2017, but the relapse pattern keeps repeating, and it has become completely toxic to my system now. Unfortunately, my lizard brain doesn't realize that, so during stressful times I still get those damn thoughts. That’s what I have to fix, and the only way is to stay off it permanently. At 15 days again, I feel great, no urges.. until the next issue comes up, lol. Thats when it takes effort to resist and build the sober muscles.
Thanks for your post and a great week to all. I have lots to do and keep myself occupied
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