24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 455
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Texas, US
Posts: 2,478
Not a good day. Tough talks with doctors at the hospital—Mother is taking it hard. I knew she was in great pain too. The phone conversations between my brother, Dad and I were absolutely dreadful, as I was at work standing outside trying to hold it together. But then I had time with her and I helped her after they had gone. She took pain medicine, which is rare, but it made a world of difference. She knows things are bad and she may not have long . That makes everything more painful. That some fairly mild medicine did so much can give me comfort and hope too. Again, she’s still with us..and the time left is unknown. The loneliness and uncertainty is terrible. It’s a crushing feeling. I need to focus on her comfort and happiness no matter what. Whether the odds are very against her and she can’t survive long..or if somehow she does. It is painful for her either way.
I’m so exhausted and distraught but I need to help, keep taking action. And just keep a minimal life going. I’m sober and I have loving friends and family, and I still have her. It’s some kind of balancing act. I can accept that she’s in very bad condition, but still not give up hope. That’s where it is today. She has rallies and huge setbacks. She smiled at me before I left...that was so good. Maybe tomorrow will be a little better..maybe there will be even better days. We just have today to do.
Thank you for listening and helping me. I wish I could be more helpful to you.
24 with love
Xx
I’m so exhausted and distraught but I need to help, keep taking action. And just keep a minimal life going. I’m sober and I have loving friends and family, and I still have her. It’s some kind of balancing act. I can accept that she’s in very bad condition, but still not give up hope. That’s where it is today. She has rallies and huge setbacks. She smiled at me before I left...that was so good. Maybe tomorrow will be a little better..maybe there will be even better days. We just have today to do.
Thank you for listening and helping me. I wish I could be more helpful to you.
24 with love
Xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,124
Hi,
18 years ago TODAY someone I love woke up excited, it was her 65th Birthday!This was the day her & her Grandson were going to do Tandem Parachute Jumping! The woman was/IS my Mom. The Grandson was my nephew who died 3 years in a freak motorcycle/deer accident, which killed them both.
I'm here in Northern Idaho for a week to celebrate her 83rd Birthday, and to visit both my parents in this BEAUTIFUL part of our Country.
. BTW, they both did that Jump, once it was safe again in our skies.
So, checking in for my next 24, from the piney forest ❤️
Bobbi
18 years ago TODAY someone I love woke up excited, it was her 65th Birthday!This was the day her & her Grandson were going to do Tandem Parachute Jumping! The woman was/IS my Mom. The Grandson was my nephew who died 3 years in a freak motorcycle/deer accident, which killed them both.
I'm here in Northern Idaho for a week to celebrate her 83rd Birthday, and to visit both my parents in this BEAUTIFUL part of our Country.
. BTW, they both did that Jump, once it was safe again in our skies. So, checking in for my next 24, from the piney forest ❤️
Bobbi
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Good morning and Happy Thursday everyone.
I'm in a state of confusion these days. My marriage has been rocky for many years now and my husband and I had the worst fight ever in front of the kid 2 weeks ago. After that I vowed that it would never happen again and I closed my heart to him and started making plans for separation (down the road.)
He was even back to his usual mood swings last Sunday so I left the house for a bit so I didn't have to be around him. Then, since Monday, he has made a complete 180. He is acting like a totally different person, like the person I met 10 years ago, like the person I fell in love with. He's charming, funny, kind, good with the kids. He's leaving me notes in the morning and asking me how my day was (something he never used to do.) It's confusing beyond belief.
It's like the thing I wanted more than anything (him to change) has arrived (or has it?) and now I don't know what to do with it.
My good friend who I spoke with yesterday says it won't last and that I am not trusting myself and my intuition. I kept telling her I am so confused I don't know what is real anymore.
He says it's the meds/supplements he's combining for his ADD. I guess that is possible.
I even started reading about the empath/covert narcissist relationship, convinced that this is what I am experiencing.
She says people don't change. I don't believe that. However, I don't trust this 100% yet.
It's like he saw what he was about to lose (he would have to move out in the spring) and decided finally to change.
Is it possible to change that quickly? Is this real?
He has me questioning my sanity at this point and I don't trust my feelings anymore. How could I be so sure of divorce just a week ago and now I am living with a totally different person?
I am so lost and I almost feel like I should stop talking about it with my friends. I am the type of person who needs outside opinions, perhaps I rely on them too much. I should be keeping my mouth shut through all of this.
Any insight is appreciated.
Thank you.
I'm in a state of confusion these days. My marriage has been rocky for many years now and my husband and I had the worst fight ever in front of the kid 2 weeks ago. After that I vowed that it would never happen again and I closed my heart to him and started making plans for separation (down the road.)
He was even back to his usual mood swings last Sunday so I left the house for a bit so I didn't have to be around him. Then, since Monday, he has made a complete 180. He is acting like a totally different person, like the person I met 10 years ago, like the person I fell in love with. He's charming, funny, kind, good with the kids. He's leaving me notes in the morning and asking me how my day was (something he never used to do.) It's confusing beyond belief.
It's like the thing I wanted more than anything (him to change) has arrived (or has it?) and now I don't know what to do with it.
My good friend who I spoke with yesterday says it won't last and that I am not trusting myself and my intuition. I kept telling her I am so confused I don't know what is real anymore.
He says it's the meds/supplements he's combining for his ADD. I guess that is possible.
I even started reading about the empath/covert narcissist relationship, convinced that this is what I am experiencing.
She says people don't change. I don't believe that. However, I don't trust this 100% yet.
It's like he saw what he was about to lose (he would have to move out in the spring) and decided finally to change.
Is it possible to change that quickly? Is this real?
He has me questioning my sanity at this point and I don't trust my feelings anymore. How could I be so sure of divorce just a week ago and now I am living with a totally different person?
I am so lost and I almost feel like I should stop talking about it with my friends. I am the type of person who needs outside opinions, perhaps I rely on them too much. I should be keeping my mouth shut through all of this.
Any insight is appreciated.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by IcedVoVo 
Not a good day. Tough talks with doctors at the hospital—Mother is taking it hard. I knew she was in great pain too. The phone conversations between my brother, Dad and I were absolutely dreadful, as I was at work standing outside trying to hold it together. But then I had time with her and I helped her after they had gone. She took pain medicine, which is rare, but it made a world of difference. She knows things are bad and she may not have long . That makes everything more painful. That some fairly mild medicine did so much can give me comfort and hope too. Again, she’s still with us..and the time left is unknown. The loneliness and uncertainty is terrible. It’s a crushing feeling. I need to focus on her comfort and happiness no matter what. Whether the odds are very against her and she can’t survive long..or if somehow she does. It is painful for her either way.
I’m so exhausted and distraught but I need to help, keep taking action. And just keep a minimal life going. I’m sober and I have loving friends and family, and I still have her. It’s some kind of balancing act. I can accept that she’s in very bad condition, but still not give up hope. That’s where it is today. She has rallies and huge setbacks. She smiled at me before I left...that was so good. Maybe tomorrow will be a little better..maybe there will be even better days. We just have today to do.
Thank you for listening and helping me. I wish I could be more helpful to you.
24 with love
Xx
I’m so exhausted and distraught but I need to help, keep taking action. And just keep a minimal life going. I’m sober and I have loving friends and family, and I still have her. It’s some kind of balancing act. I can accept that she’s in very bad condition, but still not give up hope. That’s where it is today. She has rallies and huge setbacks. She smiled at me before I left...that was so good. Maybe tomorrow will be a little better..maybe there will be even better days. We just have today to do.
Thank you for listening and helping me. I wish I could be more helpful to you.
24 with love
Xx
Maybe just focus on one day at a time with/for her and for yourself. Take each moment as it comes and be present with all of it.
Thinking of you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,909
(((SFL))) I can relate to the empath/narcissist relationship and that sounds way too familiar....like your friend said, chances are it won't last....they love to mess with our heads! Wishing the best for you and your kids 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 4,045
Signing up for 24 hours drink and drug free. 7:06am in Jacksonville, Florida.
Congratulations to all celebrating milestones today
Yay!! My "ME" day is finally here. I haven't made any definite plans yet. That's what I love about the days I set aside for myself...I can just let the day flow. I am going to head to Ms Fahmeeda's this morning so I can be with her when the mobile hearing van comes to her house. I like to be there for her medical appointments (she's a young 80). Wishing everyone a fantastic day.
Congratulations to all celebrating milestones today
Yay!! My "ME" day is finally here. I haven't made any definite plans yet. That's what I love about the days I set aside for myself...I can just let the day flow. I am going to head to Ms Fahmeeda's this morning so I can be with her when the mobile hearing van comes to her house. I like to be there for her medical appointments (she's a young 80). Wishing everyone a fantastic day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by Purplrks3647
(((SFL))) I can relate to the empath/narcissist relationship and that sounds way too familiar....like your friend said, chances are it won't last....they love to mess with our heads! Wishing the best for you and your kids
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