Dee74

Still wishing you luck with the new job PS

D

PalmerSage

Hi all, I hope everyone is having a good weekend! It's a long one here in the US (President's Day is tomorrow) which gives me an extra day for chores and reading a book that my boss asked us to read (kind of boring so far). My husband wants to ski tomorrow, so I'll have to see if I can get out of it because I have so much to do. We're also having the entire family over tonight to celebrate my husband's birthday, which will be a lot of work but hopefully fun too.

Dee, thanks for thinking about the new job - I made it through the first screening so there are only 2 more to go through before they call for interviews. Here'a hoping it all turns out exactly the way it's supposed to. (See how zen I am?)

Numblady

PS well that seems pretty zen to me! Love that you are taking walk breaks at lunch. I’m definitely the martyr type who generally can’t seem to find a way to take a break but I agree that brings some very good things in terms of productivity. Did you end up going skiing?

NC, agree you should come and vent as much as you need. I truly hope you can find another option or way to get unstuck.

The therapy session was good I guess. I did find it exhausting to talk about stuff and that’s even with getting there very late because I got lost. She said that she thought it was probably reflective of how hard it was for me to get there in the general sense, like subconsciously I didn’t go directly there. It was an interesting thought. It’s weird because so much of the time I wish I had someone to talk to but then when it actually comes time to do it I feel weird and uncomfortable.

And like I’m getting all kinds of signs from the universe I shouldn’t be spending money on it (it’s very expensive and I’m also paying out of pocket for my daugther’s therapy). But I guess I’ll keep trying it for a while. I definitely need help in getting to a better place. My daugther’s behaviors in school and at home continue unabated. So what I thought was a normal parent teacher conference yesterday again turned into more of an intervention with the school counselor coming in and talking about how my daughter sent around a slide presentation comparing her friends, some not so favorable in like true Mean Girls fashion. And then my cat is in possible renal failure. And work never stops blowing up at least a little. And I’m trying to plan a birthday weekend for my son, and an out of town meeting the following day for my job where I’m bringing the food for 30 people. And my husband can’t seem to find time or money to buy my kid a bday present. So I have to worry about that too. Or have him buy it late which I guess is okay because my son said it was but makes me sad.

I’m really grateful my parents are in town right now, although yesterday my mom asked me what I was doing and I told her trying not to have a nervous breakdown and she responded by wanting to go over this reading test stuff with me for my son because my husband was too annoyed by it. So that is also my responsibility.

Phew. Sorry — definitely wasn’t intending to have such a bitter tone to my update. But alas. Thanks for listening. Hope your weeks are good!

NewChapterJan18

Hi Class,

Apologies for my silence - I keep coming to post and getting distracted/pulled away!

PS: I love the idea of the mall walks - it's so good to get away from your desk and just take a little head space. Something that sounds like it should be a no brainer but is so hard to do when we're all caught up in trying to get through as much work as possible. You're absolutely right, though, it's actually counterproductive not to take breaks and allow ourselves to decompress. Did you get to go skiing over the long weekend? I have never been skiing but it's definitely on my list. I have friends that absolutely adore it. I have this fear that I'll get injured and not be able to ride as a result! Congrats on passing first screening round for the new job, please do keep us posted.

NL: I'm so glad that you found therapy helpful, if tough. i can totally relate to what you're saying about wanting to talk but then when the opportunity presents, not actually wanting to talk or feeling uncomfortable. I'm proud of you for going and taking the difficult steps towards self care I'm really sorry that things with your daughter are still tough. You are a wonderful mother and your daughter sounds like such a sweet girl in all your stories of her, I am sure you will work through this together. I am sorry that your husband is not being more supportive - you have so much on your plate and i can imagine some support from him would be welcomed. Your tone is certainly not bitter, either - you have so much going on right now I can imagine how overwhelming that feels. As you kindly said to me, please feel free to come here and vent anytime and know that we are al rooting for you and providing support from afar. Sending you a giant hug and also sending positive thoughts that your cat continues to improve

Hi Dee!!

Take care all

PalmerSage

Hi all! Woo, another crazy week (even though it was actually short because Monday was a holiday). It's been a whirlwind of birthdays and work that will continue into the weekend. I have a lunch meeting today with someone I find kind of difficult/annoying, and then a business event where my boss is speaking (also annoying, haha) and then I can have a couple of hours of quiet time to catch up on my piled-up work before I can ditch this place for the weekend. Things for the new job seem to be on track, I had lunch with someone who is a personal friend would be working side by side with me if I was offered this position, and she seemed sure that I would be the top candidate. Still feeling pretty zen, although I'm a tiny bit obsessed with the drama of leaving this new org so soon.

Numblady, I'm glad you were able to make it to the therapist even though it sounds like it might have been only marginally helpful. I totally agree with NC that your daughter always sounds so hilariously adorable, and I'm sure her "mean girl" phase will pass. I hope you get some support with the birthday!

NC, it sounds like you're hanging in there, even though we all seem to be close to the edge work-wise! I really hope you can find some time to relax and ride this weekend. We ended up not going skiing last weekend, but I would highly recommend starting, it's super fun and great exercise (even if it's also expensive and sometimes a PITA!)

Be back soon, everyone! xo

Dee74

I hope everyone has a great weekend

D

Numblady

Thanks Dee! You too!

and thanks for your words of support NC and PS. Hubby did end up taking care of bday gifts but then he also got mad that I was doing this whole thing without his input. Which is kind of true but also he hates to talk about planning and logistics and he gets mad if we have the kids to our house so I’ve just started working around it. Win-win in my book because I get to take a fun little trip and he doesn’t have to be around it. And at any point he certainly could have prompted a conversation so I’m kind of over that. It’s been a really nice trip. The boys are old enough now that they need minimal supervision. They may be smelly and weird but they can do things like make themselves tea, put themselves to bed, and so on. I still watch over them around fire or knives or anything like that, and they do bone headed things like put the ice cream in the refrigerator but all in all it mostly went down like I hoped it would go down as a trip.

PS, keep us posted on the job saga! I had a terrible work related dream last night. Ewww. Glad you are still staying zen.

NC, understand getting distracted and pulled away. Thanks for stopping through to check on us and share some kind words while you’re so busy otherwise!

Have a great Sunday! Going to be another whirlwind week so I’m just hoping to get through it mostly unscathed .

PalmerSage

Hi all! Numblady, I'm so glad the birthday went well, and so cute that the boys were making tea: so civilized! For all the weirdness and grossness of teen boys, it IS really nice that they have some independence. My older son had a birthday last week, and three of his friends slept over. The most amazing thing is how much they can EAT, wow.

Speaking of eating, I'm no slouch myself. Seriously guys, it has reached a point where I have regained most of the weight I lost, and I feel awful. I think some of it is driven by the stress and fatigue of my job, but not all of it - I had plenty of opportunity to eat better and get some exercise over the weekend, and I simply didn't motivate myself. There will always be some kind of excuse, but really none are valid because I have a treadmill in my house that I can always use as a last resort. Sigh. Just more complaining...

NC, Dee, and Scotty, I hope you're all doing well too. Be back soon!

Numblady

PS sorry to hear about how you are feeling with exercise and weight and stuff. I really like the lady I do online (cardio and weights and HIIT) in part for her focus on the little changes and commitments we can all make to get toward the larger goal. Now granted I don’t necessarily listen to her but she has some pretty concrete suggestions. And for me anyway it’s more interesting than straight cardio. anyhow mainly just wanted to say I hear ya! It’s like lack of motivation compounds lack of motivation.

Okay not much to say here other than hi! Got my expensive therapy today in the middle of course of lots of insanity at work. Oh well! Talk to you all this weekend hopefully.

PalmerSage

Hi all! Numblady, you hit the nail on the head when you said that lack of motivation compounds lack of motivation! Over the past few days, I've made a tiny bit of headway on the eating front, just tracking what I'm eating and trying to rein in the mindless snacking (especially in the late afternoon/evening). There's a new Whole Foods by my office, so I just hit it up for some fruit and water...baby steps...

My zen attitude about my job situation has officially expired. I hate this feeling of purgatory, and what's worse is that I 100% brought it on myself. Time for the serenity prayer!!!

Hi to NC, Dee, and Scotty, hope all is well with you guys!

NewChapterJan18

Numblady

PS sorry about the purgatory. Sure hope you get some clarity soon about whether you are changing jobs or not. That must be unsettling. I’m not even officially in the running for any other jobs at any other places but just knowing I’ve made a commitment to do something different to myself, but not knowing where I’ll end up, is very unmooring.

HI NC, Dee and anyone else who blows through

PalmerSage

Thanks NL - how is the therapy and stuff with your daughter going? And thanks for confirming that it is kind if "unsettling" to be in between possible jobs, that's the perfect way to describe it. I checked the online system today, and my resume seems to have finally made it through the full gauntlet of requirements, so hopefully I get a call about an interview soon.

I went with a friend to take our kids skiing on Saturday. She is the MOST "together" parent I know, always suggesting tons of fun stuff to do, getting everyone organized, very supportive of her kids even while pushing them to be better. Anyway, she opened up about her marriage and her husband who is seemingly in his own world, depressed and anxious, taking sleeping pills which he hid from her. It kind of made me think about how I've been, especially lately, where I get home from work and just get right on my laptop, giving my best self to work instead of saving it for home. Just rambling, I was happy she opened up to me and it made me think. I really need to make a change for the better.

That's all for now, hi to NC and Dee!

NewChapterJan18

Hello beloved classmates!! I am sorry for my absence over the past week or so, things have been pretty full on here between work and research for my dissertation, but I've been thinking of you

Palmer: I'm sorry to hear about your friend's husband, it sounds like he is really struggling. It must be tough for your friend to learn what has been going on also. I think you raise a really interesting point though - I definitely relate to what you're saying about work 'getting your best self' or in my case at least, all my energy. In the evenings after work I have zero motivation or energy to do anything other than veg on the sofa, which is really sad when you think about it. Thank God I have my horse, he at least gets me out into the fresh air and doing something other than work / school. I've gotten up early to do a short 5k run before work the last two days as I find it makes me feel like I'm at least taking some power back and starting my day with something positive and healthy for me, rather than jumping straight into email and shooting down the rabbit hole of responding to demands / fire fighting. That's so great that there's a Whole Foods by your office - it can make all the difference to have healthy options close by. Have there been any more updates on the job??

NL: I hope your car got sorted for a minimal cost! I love that the trip was a success and I love that the boys made tea. Echoing Palmer above, how has therapy been going - are you finding it helpful for you / your daughter?

Hi Dee!!

Thinking of you all and glad to be back

Numblady

Thanks for asking about the therapy guys. I almost posted about it after last week. It’s kind of intense. Apparently just stuffing down feelings is not the preferred approach. So it is definitely pushing me out of my comfort zone in a way that is probably good for me, albeit expensive and kind of difficult. And she gives me homework each time (so far we’ve only had two sessions). I am not sure as far as my daughter’s therapy goes. But I guess we need to do it because the school is really thinking we should. We will have a parents’ meeting and make sure we have a game plan that we are all working toward soon.

So basically I’m not really sure but we are continuing to try it.

PS, that is too bad about the friend’s husband. He is in his own world because of work or because of some mental health stuff going on? Or both? Regardless always good to take life lessons from the things that speak to us. Hope that interview happens soon!

NC, so glad you have your sweet horse, too. We all need some joy in our lives.

Car maintenance ended up not being too bad. Got an oil change 500 miles early which I don’t think I’ve ever done in my entire life of driving . But there is one thing the body shop did incorrectly that they identified so now I have to stay on top of that and find the time to bring it back in etc.

I hope everyone has a good rest of the week!

Dee74

you too numblady

new thread
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...part-10-a.html (Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 10)
D