Sunflower84

Quick check in

It's 5:50pm, I'm still on with my work but just took a break and walked my dog, now our Sunday dinner is nearly ready so I thought I'd quickly check in again.

I am honestly so shocked at how happy I feel! I feel so content, relaxed and HAPPY!

Things really do feel great right now, I just hope this lasts, It feels surreal at the moment, struggling to accept I can feel this happy naturally but I do. Me and my bf get on so well, there's just a real happy relaxed vibe in me and our home at the moment and it's amazing.

Hope you're all enjoying the rest of your weekend.

I said my prayers for you Bonnie, keep us posted with what happens at the vets.

Time for food then more work.

Back Later.

I'm so full of positivity that Im sending a bundle of it over to each of you friends.

xxxxxx

DarklingSong

((((Bonnie)))). Sorry to hear about your beloved dog.

Katy.....really happy for; enjoy every moment.

I have spent a lot of time on netflix Be Kind and it does help. I am doing things- walks, cleaning, clearing out the house. I don't know, just feeling a bit empty. Don't get me wrong, it beats the anxiety. This I can cope with.

I am kind of glad to get to Sunday evening sober though. My recovery feels pretty precarious if I am honest. Just need to take it one day at a time I suppose.....where this sober journey is taking me I have no idea.

Love to you all.

Bekindalways

So good to hear Katy. I really think that when we do what it takes to be happy ourselves, we change the world in the most profound way possible for an individual to change anything . . . . thus my reverse lenten resolution . . . .okay maybe y'all are getting tired of hearing about the philosophy of my reverse lent.

Barbs, you haven't posted in a couple of days. No worries if you are busy and working on you, I just don't want you to feel unloved and un-noticed. David, the Brit Guy, are you still out there? All we have of the gentleman type are David and Dee . . . . I wonder if this is common or uncommon. Justtony, we would love to see you back . . . at this point we are all over the calendar as far as sobriety start date.

My tendency to round up a group makes me think I have a bit of Sheep Dog in me.

Dee74

Most monthly groups start with a fairly equal mix but seem to end up with the lasting posters being more women - not sure why that is.

D

Aliceiw

Aww, Bonnie. I'm so sorry about your beloved furbaby. You're right. Dogs have a lot to teach us about compassion, faithfulness and living in the moment. I don't know what I would have done without my furbaby during the debilitating depression I suffered a couple of years ago. It didn't matter if I stayed in bed all day long -- he stayed right by my side no matter what. I guess you will just have to stay by your pups side and give her lots of love and treats and hugs and make sure she stays out of pain until the end comes. It is so sad that dogs' lives are so short compared to ours. Lots of love and hugs to you.

Katy!! So glad to hear you feeling so full of joy and contentment. I'm hoping it lasts for good!

Darkling, I hope you're doing ok this evening. I'm sorry you're feeling like things are a bit precarious for you at the moment. Hopefully some of Katy's peace will rub off on you.

So -- happy St. Patricks Day to all of you. Today and New Year's day are the best days to stay home and off the roads! At 9 this morning on the way to the gym I was driving behind a man who was obviously already well into the Irish whiskey and green beer. I wanted to pull him over and tell him to be careful! Ugh. So glad that's not me anymore. Drunk, stupid, reckless, careless. There but for the grace as they say.

I had another lovely day with my hub-to-be and my daughter. Gym this morning, corned beef and cabbage in the afternoon. My daughter gave me a DNA kit from Ancestry.com for Christmas last year and I found I had a message from a second cousin in there today. Very interesting, fun stuff. Have any of you done it and found anything interesting? I found that I am mostly English/Scottish and equal parts Irish and Swedish. I knew about everything but the Swedish.

Hope you all have a happy, sober evening!

Bekindalways

Thanks Dee. I was wondering if this was typical. It seems like AA meeting s tend to be more balanced gender wise. Someday we may know more about why men/women are the way they are.

David, Bob, Tony and Mike, I think about you all and hope you have found some support that works for you somewhere. Each of you seemed like a unique and wonderful person.

Ayers

Monday morning

What a lovely read I just had! Love it on Monday mornings when everyone has left the house , on their way, doing their stuff – and I have some uninterrupted SR time with a cup of coffee.

It really, really gladdens me and lifts my spirits when I see how well everyone is doing. Isn’t it just wonderful, miraculous, special? And we are just one class of many, many– this site is so amazing – helping thousands of people . Finding love, understanding, compassion and support in their throes of despair.

Bonnie, I have so much sympathy and empathy for you and your beloved doggie. I have firsthand experience of what you are going through – I know how hard it is. All my love and hugs to you and your pooch – please let us know how it’s going. Hugs, my friend.

Darkling, Katy, Bee and Alice – you all seem on a roll . And a good one. I am so happy for you . So good to hear. May this last and only get even better !

My husband’s niece stayed over last night and we had a great time talking and catching up . Her husband might be able to go home today. She’s not so excited about it – she is not one for changing dressings etc … Shame, I can understand her misgivings – she’s scared she might do something wrong and not give him the care he needs.

My son has gone to visit my daughter again – he loves going there – I am so happy that they like spending time together . Just a pity it’s such a long drive. She asked if we could transfer some grocery money – that’s the only problem – he demolishes her planned monthly groceries in the couple of days he stays there – haha.

So, my first meeting with the auditors went well , despite my misgivings about the Sage Pastel program. I had such a laugh when you all said it sounds like a paint colour. 😊 It’s a bookkeeping program. And I still hate it. I have a final meeting again tomorrow . So no fun for me today. Just work.
We have load-shedding at the moment. I think you call it blackouts? Our state owned power utility is in dire distress – bankrupt basically because of corruption and mismanagement !!!
It places so much stress on people and businesses, even though they have a schedule saying when your power will be cut, they never stick to it. So you prepare for it and it doesn’t happen. And then when you least expect it – you are without power. So , I better get cracking , before I am left in the lurch, and get my work done.

Will catch up later. Lots of love and hugs to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunflower84

Morning,

Darkling, How are you feeling now? Sorry you're feeling a bit "empty" at the moment, as you say though it beats the awful anxiety and as we all know only too well it does pass, I hope when you read this it already has and you're feeling brighter, either way stay close to us and things will get better. It's such an up and down ride of chaotic emotions this journey isn't it!? I feel I'm going stir crazy a lot of the time with the ups and downs. Anyway let me know how you're feeling and what your plans are for today, big hugs.

Morning Alice, The DNA kit sounds interesting, I love things like that, I may have to look into it. Your day with your Hubby to be and daughter sounds nice Hope you have a good start to the week.

Ayers, I too love the uninterrupted time on here in a morning with a coffee! It's lovely that your Son and Daughter are close, made me laugh about the groceries, I'm eating sooooo much at the moment so it's a good job I'm not going to stay with anyone lol, I'd eat them out of house and home! Best of luck with the accounts meeting and the "load shedding", we just call it power cuts here but they just usually happen in very bad weather. Hope all goes ok!

It's 8:20am here now, I've had to do some more work this morning before I start my main work around 9:30am. I have my CBT this morning which I love going to, then I'm heading on the train over to my parents so I can spend a little time with my Dad before his next surgery on Friday, I'm feeling very positive at the moment but can't help having this worrying feeling about my Dad, I know I should stay positive and I am trying but I just worry with it being a second surgery so close to the last one, I worry so much for him, my stomach churns when I think about it. Anyway I shall be with him later, I can't wait to see him and have some time with him. Im so very close to my Dad.
The NA meeting I mentioned I went to on Saturday night may be better for me than I first thought, I think I was just overwhelmed with a large loud group after being so quiet and isolated for so long but a few of the ladies from there have been in touch since asking me if I would like to meet for a coffee and chat sometime and sent their numbers to call anytime I need support, my gut instinct knows this is exactly what I need, it will do me good so I'm going again next week definitely. So thats AA Thursdays and NA Saturdays.

Right coffee, walk, work.

Back later.

Love to you all xxxxxxxxx

Barbs

Good morning everyone.

Katy, you sound so good. I helps so much to take control of your life. You are doing a wonderful job!

Bonnie, so so sad about your pup. I know all to well what you're going through. Thoughts and prayers and hugs to you.

Darkling, I hope your feeling better this morning. Those moments of emptiness can be difficult, but glad it's not the anxiety.

Bekind, so sweet of you to think of me, thank you. I am doing well. Very busy trying to keep myself moving forward and happy to say I am feeling successful in my pursuit of happiness. BTW, I will never get tired of hearing about your reverse lent. I think it is a wonderful thing. You are so giving to others, it's important to focus on yourself too.

Alice, I hope your back heals up quickly. Any luck finding a new dress?

Ayers, so sweet you children love to spend time together. My kids use to be very close but my daughter seems to be going through whatever so is going through and see has pulled away from her brother a bit too. Hopefully not for too long.

Dee, it does seem like most groups dwindle done so mostly ladies. Are we doing something to scar them off???

Well, off to work I go. Thinking of you all and wishing you a wonderful day.

Bekindalways

Thanks for checking in Barbs. I just noticed you hadn't posted in a couple of days.

We had a good Saint Patrick's Day dinner with family last night. Apparently this day is a big deal in the US and celebrated with corned beef and cabbage because of the New York Jews helping out the starving Irish as they arrived from the potato famine in Ireland. I have no source on this but this was discussed by our partly Jewish family throughout the meal prep and eating.

So today, I'm hoping to get in more icing of my knee, knitting, sewing and some phone calls.

May all of you be having a great Monday . . . well . . . Ayers, I suppose you are headed into Tuesday.

Aliceiw

Hey, Barbs. Hope you're doing well today. You addressed everyone else, but didn't really say how you're doing. I hope well. Yes! I did finally settle on a dress. It's different than what I thought I'd like at first, but I like it a lot. Its a short Ivory colored sheath with a crocheted cover over the whole thing. The crocheted part is ivory -- almost a very pale yellow. I'm going to decorate my ivory cowgirl hat with some cream and yellow roses and netting to make things look a little more wedding - y. Thanks for asking!

I had a shock last night. My daughter was poking around on Instagram and she saw a post from my son. It was a picture of him and all of his friends celebrating St. Paddy's Day and looking 3 sheets to the wind, and the caption said something like the the hangover's gonna be hell.

Wll, I called and gave him worse hell. Ugh! This is a kid who used to be an honor student. A smart kid. His old football coach, however, described him as "the dumbest smart kid I ever met." and I think that's about right. And I don't think my counseling, approachable, supportive parenting style is working. He's a grown man now, of course, and he certainly should know better than to post drunken pictures on social media. After all he just went through -- after being held at gunpoint for crying out loud, he's joking about drinking and hangovers in a public forum. Ugh. That stuff is all admissible in court. He told me , "mom it's fiiiine. It's a funny caption and my lawyer already made the deal with the prosecutor." I told him not to depend on any deal until the judge tells him it's a deal. Ugh. He really is worrying me. I just hope the mandatory 6 months of not drinking will wind up helping him to change his mindset about alcohol.

Have a good Monday everyone!

DarklingSong

Alice, I feel for you with the worry about your son. Its hard to stand back and feel helpless. However, I am sure he will find his way with time.
Your dress sound gorgeous by the way!

At least we all got through St. Patricks Day. It felt like a very long weekend here.....

Barbs, glad you are doing well and keeping busy. Be Kind you are doing brilliantly, getting through all those family occasions sober. Good for you.

Katy, it really sounds like things are different for you. I am really happy to read the energy and vibrancy in your posts. I know it must be hard with your dad being ill- sending healing prayers his way.

I have to confess I am in a state of ambivalence about drinking. Its ok.....I recognise this from my many aborted attempts to quit. I will feel better when I go back to work tomorrow and I have a clear focus and structure. Now I am feeling better I am going to start looking at hobbies and interests that I can take up at the weekends. Onwards.

Best wishes to you all.

Bekindalways

I hear you on this one Darkling. I've found it helpful when the ones that slip come back to our thread and remind us of what it is like out there. If I go back, it won't be like it was that night August 9, 2018; it will be way worse.

Alice, I so so sorry about your son. Unfortunately it doesn't look like he is done drinking. I think I suggested before that you look into the "Friends and Family" forum of Soberrecovery. There are parents on there dealing with what you are dealing with. It is not fun. I'm actually a bit of a "double winner" myself through a relationship a long time ago. Ugh . . . .bad times.

I'm having a lemon coconut water and a very slow day. At least my knee is liking it.

Dee74

I dunno Barb
I'm sorry to hear about your son Alice.

D

matrac

I’ve been lurking....not up to posting much...just very busy and so much going on.

My dog is still in the hospital. Her kidney function tests have improved and she has started to eat. This may require that I administer fluids and give her medications and a special diet at home. I’m not sure how well she’ll do or for how long. Just going to take it a day at a time. I think I’ll know when it’s time. Dogs live an honest life, they deserve dignity and comfort in the end...I hope I can give her that. Thanks all for your sentiments

Alice, I hope also that your son wil benefit from mandatory abstinence. It must be harder when youre young to not party like the others, but if he can do it perhaps he’ll mature a bit and realize his mistakes..... the dress sounds great.......we did the DNA kit too. I am English and Irish primarily with some German and French in there too.

Bekind, As I mentioned, I am Irish and my husband Jewish (and I converted).....I made a fir amount of corned beef that both sides enjoyed! Today they ate Reuben sandwiches.

Ayers, glad your audits are going well and you seem to be feeling better? I know what you means about a son’sappetite....it’ssomething How much my son can eat and still have a 32 inch waist. I cant seem to keep enough food in the house.

Katy, you sound well, Usually a second surgery isn’t done unless the patient is optimized. Your dad will need even more TLC afterward and I have no doubt that you’re capable of that. I will keep him in my prayers

DS, would like to hear about your weekend plans. Sometimes I get bored too.

Barbs, agree how we’ve dwindled, but the bonds are stronger? I am enjoying this part of it. I find that listen better about everyone’s experiences and that it helps just as much as in the beginning.

I am anxious to move my mom on Saturday. She is exciting to get on with her life too. Hope she will adjust and be happy.

My daughter has been accepted to 5 colleges thus far. Hoping to hear from the last 4 over the next week. Then big decisions coming up. Right now it’s between Delaware Honors program and University of Rochester. We shall see

My partner at work is having brain surgery tomorrow - how ironic that we work in neurology. I have a gut feeling that she’ll be okand fortunately, I can be there to look in on her.

Anyway, lot’s of stuff coming up....good and bad. No urges to drink, just taking life as it comes. Update tomorrow if I can.....I’ll be reading anyway.
Hugs to you all

Sunflower84

Good Morning,

6:20am here, the mornings here in NW England are slowly getting lighter now which is good. Can't wait for the clocks to change at the end of the month then it will really lighten up. My BF has gone to work this morning YAYYYYYYY. He's been offered a days work trial doing building works in a town close by so he's headed off first thing. So tonight I'll find out if it means some regular work for him, if it does then it's great news for us!!!
My parents live about 15mins away in a small village, my Mums here in my town this afternoon when I finish work so I'll be getting a lift back with her to their house to have dinner with Mum and Dad, really looking forward to seeing my Dad. I was going yesterday but makes more sense today now. This week's going well so far, work was a success yesterday so I'm starting to catch back up which is great. Tomorrow when I finish work I have a meal planned with one of my closest friends who lives pretty close to my parents so I'll be getting the train across the bay there tomorrow afternoon. It's a little restaurant that just opened and the owners have another restaurant that is very well known, the food is meant to be very good. Looking forward to it.

Good to hear from you Barbs, glad you're doing well. Any plans for this week / weekend ahead?

Bekind, glad to hear you're resting your knee, hope it's healed fully soon. The lemon coconut water sounds lurvly.

Alice, pleased to hear you found your dress and it sounds beautiful. Sorry to hear about your Son, at least he has this period of forced abstinence now so it's a great opportunity for his mindset on drinking to change. I'm sure it will. 6 months I think is a good amount of time to see a difference, hence me doing this 6 months target at the moment.

Darkling, thanks for the kind words and prayer for my Dad, really means the world. Hope you can set some hobbies / plans in motion to change how you're feeling. I pick up a lot of similarities between us. The anxiety and getting the empty feelings you have mentioned, setting my new plans have really helped. My weekly schedule now is Swimming one evening, AA meeting Thurs eve and NA Sat eve and then Yoga Tuesdays once it starts next month. This has helped me immensely. Lets share our plans, especially for weekends when we all find it a bit tough. I think we should all share any new plans we make, keeps fresh ideas coming for us all

Hi Dee, Hope alls good down under???

Bonnie, that's the best news! So happy to read your post and know your Dog is going home and things are looking a little bit better. It's great that you get some more quality loving time with her. Hope the move all goes smoothly for your Mum, all is sounding good. Sounds like your daughter is doing well too Hoping your work partners surgery goes well. Glad you have no urges to drink, you sound very grounded and at ease. Good to hear Bonnie, have a lovely Tuesday and let us know when your lovely Dog is home.

Time for me to grab another coffee and do a little work, I have more sideline bits to do again before I start my main work at 9:30.

Wishing you all a happy Tuesday and sending all you lovely friends lots of Love, Peace, Strength and Positivity xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Aliceiw

Good Tuesday morning. I'm fixing to take a little road trip today with my daughter and step daughter to see some architectural thing my daughter wants to see because of a class she's taking in architecture. She's a communications major, but she's loving this architecture and design class and has told me a lot about what she's learned about how the rooms we live in -- the colors, the way the light falls, the placement of objects -- can affect our moods and psyches. Love it that she's thinking about all this. Hopefully eventually it will lead to her hanging up her wet towels and picking up her dirty clothes and laundry from the floor haha!

Bonnie -- I'm so glad to hear that your furbaby is doing better. Let's hope her treatment will help her! And you're going through the college admissions process with your daughter! How exciting! Those are some great colleges she's looking into. My son applied to Rochester too, and also Stevens in Hoboken. He almost went to Stevens, but he chose a SUNY -- Binghamton -- in the end because his father and I told him we'd give him as much as a SUNY cost for his education, but we couldn't afford the $52, 000 for a private college. He elected to get a degree with no debt. I'm happy he did. Arg. Especially happy now that he has all of this legal debt. Ugh! Thanks for all the sympathy about his situation. I love him so much, but I honestly can't wait until they snap that bracelet on his wrist, and I won't be shedding any tears if they take his license either. I do feel helpless. I think I've had a good talk with him -- that he's learned from his mistakes -- that he's on a better path now --- and then he pulls stuff like the Instagram post. I hope the legal system will be a good disciplinarian for him. I obviously have failed at that.

Bekind, I did take your advice and read around a bit in the F&F section. I got drawn into that long thread from the man whose wife was addicted and doing crazy things. I have to say I saw myself in his wife a bit. I was in her place -- not having affairs in rehab, I never went to rehab or had affairs -- but I felt a lot of sympathy for him. Then he posted something about listening outside of an AA meeting to the addicts bursting into laughter about something and how he couldn't stand to hear these evil, dregs of society types laughing over the pain they've caused. (Sound of needle being torn from record...) Whoa, buddy! I wanted to tell him that those of us who've been on the other side definitely don't laugh about the things we've done. There are far more tears, and gut-wrenching guilt and regret, and shame so bad that the thought of suicide becomes comforting....and worse. I had to bite my fingers not to write a post telling him how very wrong he was. And he said something about, "How in the world could anyone become friends with some lowlife they met in rehab?" and I wanted to tell him that some of the best, most compassionate people I've ever known are "lowlife" former drunks and addicts. They're the best travelling companions through the hellacious landscapes of life since they've travelled there themselves. They're definitely not a bunch of grinning Mephistophileses waiting to turn the screws and pierce with pitchforks the innocents who are unfortunate enough to wander across their paths.

But I know it must feel that way. I can't at all blame that poor man for expressing his pain and confusion through angry words and images. He has EVERY right to do that. It's such a sad situation. There's such a gaping chasm between alcoholics and those that love them. There's a slim to none chance of crossing it without tossing in a lot of love, forgiveness, compassion and faith. I hope he'll be ok. I guess I'm a double winner too, as they say. I remember going to an Alanon meeting at the suggestion of a friend when I was caring for my parents who were also both alcoholics and were pulling lots of crazy stuff and making me pull my hair out. I was a drinker at that time too, of course, and I didn't like the Alanon meetings. I felt like the folks there were a bunch of whiners. That was unkind of me and not understanding enough about what they were feeling and going through. Whatever. Guess I just feel better in the company of fellow drunks. In any case, I'm glad to be here and glad that life improved so much for me and for my ex when we split.

Katy! Oh my gosh girl. You sound so very good and so very strong lately girl. It honestly brings tears to my eyes -- happy ones -- to hear you feeling so good and writing long posts filled with positivity. You deserve to be feeling good after all of the hell you've been through. I'm praying that it lasts forever and gets even better and better the farther you get from that last drink.

Hope you're hanging in there Darkling and that your spirit starts getting a bit lighter and brighter soon.

I misss the guys who used to hang inthis thread with us too. Mike, Tony, Bob, Ben...My guess is that a lot of guys kind of move on after they solve their issues, whereas we women tend to form and feel bonds more readily. I just hope they all got what they needed here and moved on into better lives. I wish them all Godspeed.

Have a happy day, y'all.

Sunflower84

Thank you Alice Means a lot.

I've just stopped working for a herbal tea break, a Tulsi tea, one of my faves, it's delicious.
I've made so many phone calls and sent so many emails I'm taking 20mins or so to relax. Quick check in here then it's back to it until my Mum arrives. I'm so eager to hear about my bf's work trial today. I can't wait to find out tonight what the situation is. I hope he has regular work and I hope for him he enjoys it and feels happy enough there.

I found a few more bargains in the charity shop again today, a lovely ornamental love heart thing that hangs up and a nice candle holder. My cottage is painted neutral colours throughout but I've added lot's of greens and duck egg to it now, so I'm collecting lots of little accessories and things of those colours to brighten it up a little.

Not much else to report really, still feeling surprisingly good and looking forward to seeing my Dad in a couple of hours very much! Taking him some homemade seville orange marmalade as a little treat.

Back later.

Love to you all xxxxxxxx

Bekindalways

Katy, sounds like you had a good busy day. My day was pretty lazy which I don't really like. It is nice for a bit and then takes me down.

Alice, I read that guys thread too on "Friends and Family". He and his wife seem to be having a very negative experience with rehab and AA. It is super sad. Unfortunately on that forum you hear about quite a few alcoholics who don't make it. Perhaps I shouldn't have encouraged you to read there as it can be a bit discouraging.

I got to a grief counseling session today. I wanted to go mainly because I don't find myself grieving for my Mom. Yeah I'm sad but this just seems so much easier than a lot of things I have been through. She had a great life. Alzheimers gave us all time to say good bye. However since Hospice offered it as a service to families and it kind of fit in with my Lenten resolution, I went and I will say it was worth it.

Darkling, Barbs, Matrac and Ayers, keep the faith.

matrac

My avatar is my dog on the way home today! She was acting very strange when she came home. She was restless and sitting far from us as if she were wary of us....post trauma? Then I put down a bowl of water and she drank the entire thing. She passed on her food and so I made her some rice and ground turkey. She ate that like crazy and Bam!...w e were friends again. Now she’s in her old spot and rolls over to give me her belly when I walk by. I’ll have to give her subcutaneous infusions weekly and she’s on a bit of medicine....have to see how it goes. I’ll take it like anything difficult in life...a day/moment at a time.

Katy and Alice, I feel like I’m hearing from someone new when I read your posts! You both sound healthy and happy, and I am so glad for you!

Katy, I hope your dad is doing well and that he will get through the next surgery as well as the first? OMG homemade marmalade!!!! Sounds like you’ve also been very productive...let us know about your BF’s work situation.....wishing him luck.

Alice,I would feel just as you do about your son’s situation. Let him have some consequence that also keeps him safe. I am praying that he will realize where drinking might lead him and then he’ll change his behavior. We will be looking at finances for my daughter’s college once we get all the info. U. Del has given her a good scholarship (equals in state tuition). ....haven’t heard much about the rest. My husband would be very happy if she went to Delaware (also his Alma Mater).

Bekind, grief is a funny thing. Sometimes it can be triggered by a sight or sound or scent. Sometimes in the middle of the night or on the grocery check out line. Sometimes, caretakers need that time after the funeral to “rest” or recover from the caretaking and then the grief comes. The older more important memories come back. I think it’s healthy for you to explore your relationship with your mom and then if grief does come over you or even if another feeling comes, you have someone to talk to.

DS, almost Wednesday....have you any plans for the weekend? I think I’m the opposite of you....I need a weekend where I have nothing to do! However, I hate being bored too. Hopefully the changing weather will soon bring more opportunities for you.

Best to you all. Ayers, I hope you’re not in the dark or offline.