24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 402
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,515
Originally Posted by Plenny 
Not trying to be difficult, this is just the stage of the situation we are in. It’s a nightmare.
So I hear you. I know you are scared but you have us with you every step.
♥♥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,515
Originally Posted by joandmelandhan
Good evening all. Bit late again today.
Hannah had her docs appointment today. She chose to go in alone so I don't know exactly how it went (a killer for me but it was her choice) but she came out with some telephone numbers for counselling. She had been crying but seemed calm enough when she came out. This slow letting go of my baby is hard with a capital H for sure but I know it is necessary. I can't deny I'm worried about her but she told me not to worry so I'm keeping my own fears from her. She has enough to deal with without my stuff too.
It makes me thankful for my sobriety yet again. Supporting her like a mum should at long last. But guilt too that the secretive side of my addiction perhaps prevented her opening up sooner. Maybe it did maybe it didn't. I can't afford to look back now it's got to be onward with a new openness and honesty for all.
Oh I don't know....... I'm just worried about her. Natural I guess.
Sorry I'm rambling a little. I'll just ask for my 24 and send out some love ❤❤❤
Hannah had her docs appointment today. She chose to go in alone so I don't know exactly how it went (a killer for me but it was her choice) but she came out with some telephone numbers for counselling. She had been crying but seemed calm enough when she came out. This slow letting go of my baby is hard with a capital H for sure but I know it is necessary. I can't deny I'm worried about her but she told me not to worry so I'm keeping my own fears from her. She has enough to deal with without my stuff too.
It makes me thankful for my sobriety yet again. Supporting her like a mum should at long last. But guilt too that the secretive side of my addiction perhaps prevented her opening up sooner. Maybe it did maybe it didn't. I can't afford to look back now it's got to be onward with a new openness and honesty for all.
Oh I don't know....... I'm just worried about her. Natural I guess.
Sorry I'm rambling a little. I'll just ask for my 24 and send out some love ❤❤❤
Really. Be proud of yourself my beautiful friend.
♥♥
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,745
Originally Posted by kevlarsjal2
Plenny, you're not the difficult one in this scenario, they are! You are an adult and they must accept your boundaries. It may not be how things go in an ideal world that people block their siblings on their phone but also your family members seem to be far from treating you like it would be in an ideal world. They can't expect you to treat them like they have never harmed you. And even if nothing bad had ever happened between you, it would still be your right to quit contact and they would have to accept it. Don't feel bad about this, don't feel like you're the difficult one. If they show up, don't open the doors (I hope your doors are stable) and call the police, saying you don't want to talk to them. Or maybe you can stay with your DJ(what was his nickname again?) for a few days? I know probably not ideal either.. Or maybe stay with a friend in case they really show up?
Sending you strength, support and many hugs!!
Sending you strength, support and many hugs!!
Originally Posted by venuscat
Well, I'm somewhat serious about the big male friend thing....do you know anyone that you trust like that? Someone who could be there with you if you need them? ♥♥
♥♥
Originally Posted by venuscat
Love....my family is like this....really....I told Nick this story...I was 26, living on my own, cut off my parents and they refused to accept it....so they lied to my landlord and said I was ill or in trouble or some such rubbish and got a key to my apartment and just literally walked in on me....OMG....I will never forget that. What audacity.
So I hear you. I know you are scared but you have us with you every step. ♥♥
So I hear you. I know you are scared but you have us with you every step.
♥♥I am still new in this town -- I ran here too -- but I think I've made connections with people who believe me and would stand up for me. I hope so. If not, I hope the police would listen this time. It will be easier if they show up in their usual state of inebriation and I'm here in a dry house totally sober and clear-headed! That will be a totally new spin on things
THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING I think that is what will help coax me out of this anxiety and worry and guilt.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Plenny, it must be such a weird situation for you to be in, dreading that your family could just walk into your work like that. I'm sorry they are so disrespectful of your boundaries. 
My dad's wife is also in team "manipulative" but she's not my mum and I no longer live with her so these days it doesn't affect my life too much. It sounds like you've been through a lot with them. It's amazing how strong you've turned out!
My dad's wife is also in team "manipulative" but she's not my mum and I no longer live with her so these days it doesn't affect my life too much. It sounds like you've been through a lot with them. It's amazing how strong you've turned out!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
I think I will go to bed soon. I'm very tired but I want to do some more painting so I am not sure what I will prioritise higher.
Tomorrow I will see my therapist for the first time in 4 weeks and I am not looking forward to it. I feel pretty confused about a lot and I have no idea where to start or what to tell her really. I'm still dealing with the coldness of my ex/bf and how he treats me despite my injury. It feels like he is not the man I thought he was and I feel so weird because I literally tried everything to become a better partner and in hindsight it feels like his patience with me got shorter and shorter the more progress I made. In the end he just made up stuff that I seemed to struggle with so that it would still be me who causes the problems and not him. It's like he didn't even want me to be "perfect" because it would just make his problems clearer. When I no longer cried during our arguments and said I couldn't be without him but sat calmly on the bed, him biting the couch and punching his face seemed even more out of proportion. But then it was me setting him off and making him do so. First I was the dependent, needy girl with too many problems and as soon as I made progress and took care of them I then was the manipulative monster who would gas light him. Either way, it was always me being the problem.
I always had a bad gut feeling about this and it just seemed wrong, especially since none of my other ex/bfs ever had these problems with me. No one found me overly dramatic or accused me of manipulation and such.
But being in early recovery then, I thought maybe I was really in denial and had a completely wrong image of myself so I believed him.
Turned out it wasn't the image of myself that was wrong but the image I had of him. It feels like the man he wanted me to believe he was and that I wanted him to be, never existed. It hurts so much. The man I thought he was, the one I loved, no longer exists, it feels almost like he died. I had so often this theory that he has 2 sides of him that are very different and not aware of the other side existing as well. My mum referred to him as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide. I loved one of those sides and wanted to be with him forever but the other side was horrible. And is treating me horrible now. Even his face would change completely when he switched from one side to the other and my mum didn't even recognise him on photos from his cold side.
This whole situation reminds me a bit about when I realised the truth about my drinking and about alcohol not being the cure, not the friend I thought it was. I looked at it for years and years as my safe card, as something to rely on, that would help me, something promising and wonderful. And when I realised how wrong I was, that it was in fact doing the opposite of what I thought it did, that it was poison rather than a cure, that it would make me more anxious and depressed than happy and relaxed, that it would make me weak and not strong, .... it hurt so much then too. I felt betrayed, like I believed a lie for too long, I felt stupid and very, very alone. And now I feel very similar. Knowing that what I miss is gone forever. Because even if I should ever drink again, I am disillusioned about alcohol, I will never see it as the cure for everything again, I will always know about it's damaging properties.
And it's the same about my ex that I will never see him as this wonderful man again. The one who really cares about me. I will always know that he puts himself first at any cost and does not care about me much. Just about how I see him.
With alcohol I thought I had found a medicine that helped, something that would give me strength to deal with life, I thought I had found something magical and then I lost it, knowing it will never come back cause it never really existed like that.
And it's the same with him, I thought I had found true love, someone who likes me for who I am and appreciates me, he was so crazy about me, everything about me was perfect to him in the beginning. I thought I had found a truly good match, like it was something special, almost magical again. And again I lost it, knowing that it will never come back, that it was never even true cause he isn't the person I thought he was, not the one he portrayed to be.
Tomorrow I will see my therapist for the first time in 4 weeks and I am not looking forward to it. I feel pretty confused about a lot and I have no idea where to start or what to tell her really. I'm still dealing with the coldness of my ex/bf and how he treats me despite my injury. It feels like he is not the man I thought he was and I feel so weird because I literally tried everything to become a better partner and in hindsight it feels like his patience with me got shorter and shorter the more progress I made. In the end he just made up stuff that I seemed to struggle with so that it would still be me who causes the problems and not him. It's like he didn't even want me to be "perfect" because it would just make his problems clearer. When I no longer cried during our arguments and said I couldn't be without him but sat calmly on the bed, him biting the couch and punching his face seemed even more out of proportion. But then it was me setting him off and making him do so. First I was the dependent, needy girl with too many problems and as soon as I made progress and took care of them I then was the manipulative monster who would gas light him. Either way, it was always me being the problem.
I always had a bad gut feeling about this and it just seemed wrong, especially since none of my other ex/bfs ever had these problems with me. No one found me overly dramatic or accused me of manipulation and such.
But being in early recovery then, I thought maybe I was really in denial and had a completely wrong image of myself so I believed him.
Turned out it wasn't the image of myself that was wrong but the image I had of him. It feels like the man he wanted me to believe he was and that I wanted him to be, never existed. It hurts so much. The man I thought he was, the one I loved, no longer exists, it feels almost like he died. I had so often this theory that he has 2 sides of him that are very different and not aware of the other side existing as well. My mum referred to him as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide. I loved one of those sides and wanted to be with him forever but the other side was horrible. And is treating me horrible now. Even his face would change completely when he switched from one side to the other and my mum didn't even recognise him on photos from his cold side.
This whole situation reminds me a bit about when I realised the truth about my drinking and about alcohol not being the cure, not the friend I thought it was. I looked at it for years and years as my safe card, as something to rely on, that would help me, something promising and wonderful. And when I realised how wrong I was, that it was in fact doing the opposite of what I thought it did, that it was poison rather than a cure, that it would make me more anxious and depressed than happy and relaxed, that it would make me weak and not strong, .... it hurt so much then too. I felt betrayed, like I believed a lie for too long, I felt stupid and very, very alone. And now I feel very similar. Knowing that what I miss is gone forever. Because even if I should ever drink again, I am disillusioned about alcohol, I will never see it as the cure for everything again, I will always know about it's damaging properties.
And it's the same about my ex that I will never see him as this wonderful man again. The one who really cares about me. I will always know that he puts himself first at any cost and does not care about me much. Just about how I see him.
With alcohol I thought I had found a medicine that helped, something that would give me strength to deal with life, I thought I had found something magical and then I lost it, knowing it will never come back cause it never really existed like that.
And it's the same with him, I thought I had found true love, someone who likes me for who I am and appreciates me, he was so crazy about me, everything about me was perfect to him in the beginning. I thought I had found a truly good match, like it was something special, almost magical again. And again I lost it, knowing that it will never come back, that it was never even true cause he isn't the person I thought he was, not the one he portrayed to be.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Originally Posted by Plenny
Shucks thanks. Sometimes it's hard to believe I am strong when the littlest thing can just take me down like that but, I do hope I am getting tougher
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,515
♥ This is a list of everyone who posted their commitment to stay sober in the last
24 hours: 8 pm EDT ~ 7.59 pm EDT.
It is awesome to have every single one of you here with us! ♥
1newcreation
abcowboy
Alysheba
ananda
Atlast9999
aussieblue
Awake61
Babs1234
badgerden
bandicoot2
BarbieKen
Ben123
BrandNewDay11
Bubovski
Canadian Koala
CaseyW
CeeFarro
ChloeRose63
Coldfusion
county111111
CrossYourHeart
Daisybelle
Dee74
Delilah1
Endoftheday
erfra7
Finalcall
Free2bme888
FormerBeerLover
Gabe1980
gatorman
Gilmer
Goat
goodbyeevan
goose333
Hats
helloxdarling
Hevyn
heyfly
Jack16
joandmelandhan
jsm273
julietUK
Kaneda8888
kenton
kevlarsjal2
KeyofC
Kris47
Lascaux
least
lilymaz
Lostmyoffswitch
lyddie
Mags1
Minion09
Marcutah1
Neoo
Nic233
nmd
PaigeMasters
PeaceB4
PhoenixJ
Pinky1
Plenny
Quincy
quitter62
Rainman1
Rar
RedBerryJuniper
Saskia
ShenzyT
Snufkin
soberista
SoberLeigh
stargazer016
Sunflower79
Sunflowerlife
Sweetpeacan
tgirl
TheToddman
theVman31
time2LLL60
Tinker B
tomls
vanaprastha
vassvik
venuscat
Vinificent
WaterOx
WeaverBird
Whendovescry
Willow68
wiscsober
YCDT2
Yixi
yukonm
Zanna
zeppodog
zoeydog
Onward together! ♥
24 hours: 8 pm EDT ~ 7.59 pm EDT.
It is awesome to have every single one of you here with us!
♥1newcreation
abcowboy
Alysheba
ananda
Atlast9999
aussieblue
Awake61
Babs1234
badgerden
bandicoot2
BarbieKen
Ben123
BrandNewDay11
Bubovski
Canadian Koala
CaseyW
CeeFarro
ChloeRose63
Coldfusion
county111111
CrossYourHeart
Daisybelle
Dee74
Delilah1
Endoftheday
erfra7
Finalcall
Free2bme888
FormerBeerLover
Gabe1980
gatorman
Gilmer
Goat
goodbyeevan
goose333
Hats
helloxdarling
Hevyn
heyfly
Jack16
joandmelandhan
jsm273
julietUK
Kaneda8888
kenton
kevlarsjal2
KeyofC
Kris47
Lascaux
least
lilymaz
Lostmyoffswitch
lyddie
Mags1
Minion09
Marcutah1
Neoo
Nic233
nmd
PaigeMasters
PeaceB4
PhoenixJ
Pinky1
Plenny
Quincy
quitter62
Rainman1
Rar
RedBerryJuniper
Saskia
ShenzyT
Snufkin
soberista
SoberLeigh
stargazer016
Sunflower79
Sunflowerlife
Sweetpeacan
tgirl
TheToddman
theVman31
time2LLL60
Tinker B
tomls
vanaprastha
vassvik
venuscat
Vinificent
WaterOx
WeaverBird
Whendovescry
Willow68
wiscsober
YCDT2
Yixi
yukonm
Zanna
zeppodog
zoeydog
Onward together! ♥
August 7, 2018
CaseyW ~ 1 week! ♥
Ben123 ~ 2 weeks! ♥
Saskia ~ 4 years!!!! ♥
CaseyW ~ 1 week! ♥
Ben123 ~ 2 weeks! ♥
Saskia ~ 4 years!!!! ♥
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,745
I am home from work -- I was staying online all day during my shift -- and finally just being lazy and curled up in pajamas. I bought a couple flavors of ice cream, and just like clockwork the kitty came up to get her share of dessert. I swear, I hide it and I try to be quiet but she always knows when I have ice cream! So, I make her a tiny bowl with a tiny spoonful of vanilla in it and she seems satisfied with that. This was a ritual that started long before she came to my house, so who am I to change it
? If so it wont be alcohol. I'm not that stupidMember
Join Date: May 2014
Location: northeast US
Posts: 715
Checking in! Exhausted!! Had a Pro-Am golf tournament/fundraiser for work today and it was sooo hot out on the course, but last year I wasn’t sober at the time and battled the hangover, not the case today!! I was present, helpful and albeit hot, it was a GREAT day!! 62 days and grateful! Now I’m going to do my mediatation (been an awesome addition to my sobriety) and going to bed.
Ohhh... and my hot water heater is on the fritz!, but hey it’s ok. Hopefully it will he fixed tomorrow, but it makes me aware of those less fortunate. Nothing like a Luke warm/cold shower to refocus my selfish mind. I still have running water!
Have a great night and keep going, just one more!! To those struggling, sincere prayers and to those rocking it, prayers too for another one today, or tomorrow! Much love!💕
Ohhh... and my hot water heater is on the fritz!, but hey it’s ok. Hopefully it will he fixed tomorrow, but it makes me aware of those less fortunate. Nothing like a Luke warm/cold shower to refocus my selfish mind. I still have running water!
Have a great night and keep going, just one more!! To those struggling, sincere prayers and to those rocking it, prayers too for another one today, or tomorrow! Much love!💕
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Texas, US
Posts: 2,478
The DOG went to dog school! Boot camp! He loved it right away, and though I was sad to drive off I was happy too . So, 3 weeks to catch up on my sleep—it is in town so that’s perfect so I can visit, and the house is quiet for a bit!
He’s wonderful and sociable, but untrained and rambunctious. Tons of work. I needed help and I got it. We went in for a consultation and she said: “he can start today if you’d like.” “Really?? Yes!!!” We laughed. It’s got a great reputation so I feel good about it. I want to take this guy everywhere one day.
I am happy to hear it, a JoJo. She handled it beautifully. Xo
So 24 and good night! Good night Chat People! I can’t wait to sleep a whole night.
Love
Red
. So, 3 weeks to catch up on my sleep—it is in town so that’s perfect so I can visit, and the house is quiet for a bit! He’s wonderful and sociable, but untrained and rambunctious. Tons of work. I needed help and I got it. We went in for a consultation and she said: “he can start today if you’d like.” “Really?? Yes!!!” We laughed. It’s got a great reputation so I feel good about it. I want to take this guy everywhere one day.
I am happy to hear it, a JoJo. She handled it beautifully. Xo
So 24 and good night! Good night Chat People! I can’t wait to sleep a whole night.
Love
Red
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
