Class of May 2018 Part 2
formerly luvSOBERlife
Join Date: May 2018
Location: East Tennessee USA
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by calmself 
Awesome thoughts and words, DistortedMe. Our brain bookmarks the level of drinking when we quit and quickly takes us there when we start back, irrespective of the sober time in between. Also, the neural pathways we create only get wider as we give into the cravings. This reinforces the habit and makes it very difficult to quit. Also, these pathways never get fully closed, more like blocked. You start again, you open the entire road with all its lanes.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 11
Hi all, so sorry it has been a while - I'm still sober, but have been dealing with being sober by basically staring into space and browsing twitter and not really putting any effort into life. Slowly pushing through that and hoping to come out of the other end soon.
MantaLady and SurvivorK - I am so in awe of you both. I have fallen off the wagon more times than I can possibly count. And every time I have? I've run away from these forums for months or even years on end, because the only thing harder than not drinking is facing myself after I've drunk again. You are both back here, learning from what went wrong, and trying again. That's resilience. That's strength - not weakness.
You can do this, we know you can xxx
MantaLady and SurvivorK - I am so in awe of you both. I have fallen off the wagon more times than I can possibly count. And every time I have? I've run away from these forums for months or even years on end, because the only thing harder than not drinking is facing myself after I've drunk again. You are both back here, learning from what went wrong, and trying again. That's resilience. That's strength - not weakness.
You can do this, we know you can xxx
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
That happened so quickly, one minute ok next minute not. Tried calling someone but that didn’t work. Story of my life lol, only person I can rely on is me! Must do better! Thanks to everyone for trying to talk me down xx
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
I'm sorry the person you called let you down. But I think you know that the only one who can make you drink and stop you from drinking is you. Or at least, that's a lesson I'm beginning to learn myself, the hard way, after so many relapses. Hang in there!
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
I let me down simple as I guess, I drank, no one forced me to. I absolutely knew it at the time. Waking up with my pensioner cat asleep on me, big fat arthritic arms wrapped round me, he cares lol. He isn’t a super cuddly cat but the way he is sat on me now, well, he knows I am sure!. I woke up on the sofa, empty bottle of wine and empty small bottle of vodka, no idea how much vodka I drank as bottle was tipped over. Checked my phone, had a 20 min call to my mum I can’t recall, so have to have that conversation now.
formerly luvSOBERlife
Join Date: May 2018
Location: East Tennessee USA
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by thecompanykept
Hi all, so sorry it has been a while - I'm still sober, but have been dealing with being sober by basically staring into space and browsing twitter and not really putting any effort into life. Slowly pushing through that and hoping to come out of the other end soon.
MantaLady and SurvivorK - I am so in awe of you both. I have fallen off the wagon more times than I can possibly count. And every time I have? I've run away from these forums for months or even years on end, because the only thing harder than not drinking is facing myself after I've drunk again. You are both back here, learning from what went wrong, and trying again. That's resilience. That's strength - not weakness.
You can do this, we know you can xxx
MantaLady and SurvivorK - I am so in awe of you both. I have fallen off the wagon more times than I can possibly count. And every time I have? I've run away from these forums for months or even years on end, because the only thing harder than not drinking is facing myself after I've drunk again. You are both back here, learning from what went wrong, and trying again. That's resilience. That's strength - not weakness.
You can do this, we know you can xxx
formerly luvSOBERlife
Join Date: May 2018
Location: East Tennessee USA
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by MantaLady
I let me down simple as I guess, I drank, no one forced me to. I absolutely knew it at the time. Waking up with my pensioner cat asleep on me, big fat arthritic arms wrapped round me, he cares lol. He isn’t a super cuddly cat but the way he is sat on me now, well, he knows I am sure!. I woke up on the sofa, empty bottle of wine and empty small bottle of vodka, no idea how much vodka I drank as bottle was tipped over. Checked my phone, had a 20 min call to my mum I can’t recall, so have to have that conversation now.
It doesn't always work, and it doesn't always come to mind, but I try to remember that the farther away I get from my addictions, the easier it gets. Both mentally and physically.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm sorry you drank MantaLady, but pleased you're back.
Take a moment tho - consider what a low life scum jerk your addicted voice is to take something that upset you so profoundly and reduce it to a reason for drinking.
You deserve better than that - we all do.
One of the first things I learned was that I was stronger and more capable than I knew.
I spent so many years running away in terror from things in my past and old feelings.
I faced them sober - and I'm glad - I've grown exponentially because of that.
I have a lot of memories like yours in the office. A lot of jolly japes were had at my expense
But I'm not 17 anymore. Everything is OK now
D
Take a moment tho - consider what a low life scum jerk your addicted voice is to take something that upset you so profoundly and reduce it to a reason for drinking.
You deserve better than that - we all do.
One of the first things I learned was that I was stronger and more capable than I knew.
I spent so many years running away in terror from things in my past and old feelings.
I faced them sober - and I'm glad - I've grown exponentially because of that.
I have a lot of memories like yours in the office. A lot of jolly japes were had at my expense
But I'm not 17 anymore. Everything is OK now
D
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi everyone, start of day 18. About to head to the hospital to see how Dad is. No desire to drink, thank goodness. Too focused on family crisis and supporting some of my family members having meltdowns...
Mantalady we’ve got your back. We’re all in the same boat here. We’ve all messed up more times than we can count. That’s why we’re here. Because we’ve tried to stop drinking and we’ve been unsuccessful. We’ve slipped, relapsed, many times. Please don’t beat yourself up, we’re all struggling with the AV for various reasons and we’ve all messed up. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here.
You’ve been such a support to so many of us. Let us support you too. You can do this. We’re here for you. Yesterday is over. Today is what is important. One day at a time.
And I agree with distortedme, who has so many words of wisdom to share (thanks Distortedme!) I’ve cried my eyes out so many times. But you’re so giving and caring and supportive Mantalady. We need you. And you need us. We’re all in this together. It’s teamwork and we all help each other.
That sober bus? As you said yourself recently, you just got off at an earlier stop and made a slight detour, but you’ve made your way forward to the next stop. We’re all holding out our hands to help you get back on the sober bus. We’re here to help. Sending you a big hug xo
We are stronger than we know.
Mantalady we’ve got your back. We’re all in the same boat here. We’ve all messed up more times than we can count. That’s why we’re here. Because we’ve tried to stop drinking and we’ve been unsuccessful. We’ve slipped, relapsed, many times. Please don’t beat yourself up, we’re all struggling with the AV for various reasons and we’ve all messed up. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here.
You’ve been such a support to so many of us. Let us support you too. You can do this. We’re here for you. Yesterday is over. Today is what is important. One day at a time.
And I agree with distortedme, who has so many words of wisdom to share (thanks Distortedme!) I’ve cried my eyes out so many times. But you’re so giving and caring and supportive Mantalady. We need you. And you need us. We’re all in this together. It’s teamwork and we all help each other.
That sober bus? As you said yourself recently, you just got off at an earlier stop and made a slight detour, but you’ve made your way forward to the next stop. We’re all holding out our hands to help you get back on the sober bus. We’re here to help. Sending you a big hug xo
We are stronger than we know.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 83
Mantalady- we must be on the same wavelength cause I drank last night too. It's so weird how I can be fully committed for days and days and then suddenly, before I even know what's happening I'm at the store buying a bottle. Then back home on the patio with my glass.
Ah well, I took a shower had a ton of VERY strong tea and enjoyed the sun.
All we have is today.
p.s. the past is always what trips me up too. sometimes it's just too much to handle and it overwhelms me. Like a tidal wave.
Ah well, I took a shower had a ton of VERY strong tea and enjoyed the sun.
All we have is today.
p.s. the past is always what trips me up too. sometimes it's just too much to handle and it overwhelms me. Like a tidal wave.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Midwest
Posts: 133
Originally Posted by thecompanykept
Hi all, so sorry it has been a while - I'm still sober, but have been dealing with being sober by basically staring into space and browsing twitter and not really putting any effort into life. Slowly pushing through that and hoping to come out of the other end soon.
MantaLady and SurvivorK - I am so in awe of you both. I have fallen off the wagon more times than I can possibly count. And every time I have? I've run away from these forums for months or even years on end, because the only thing harder than not drinking is facing myself after I've drunk again. You are both back here, learning from what went wrong, and trying again. That's resilience. That's strength - not weakness.
You can do this, we know you can xxx
MantaLady and SurvivorK - I am so in awe of you both. I have fallen off the wagon more times than I can possibly count. And every time I have? I've run away from these forums for months or even years on end, because the only thing harder than not drinking is facing myself after I've drunk again. You are both back here, learning from what went wrong, and trying again. That's resilience. That's strength - not weakness.
You can do this, we know you can xxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Midwest
Posts: 133
On our way back!
Originally Posted by rjyerkes
Mantalady- we must be on the same wavelength cause I drank last night too. It's so weird how I can be fully committed for days and days and then suddenly, before I even know what's happening I'm at the store buying a bottle. Then back home on the patio with my glass.
Ah well, I took a shower had a ton of VERY strong tea and enjoyed the sun.
All we have is today.
p.s. the past is always what trips me up too. sometimes it's just too much to handle and it overwhelms me. Like a tidal wave.
Ah well, I took a shower had a ton of VERY strong tea and enjoyed the sun.
All we have is today.
p.s. the past is always what trips me up too. sometimes it's just too much to handle and it overwhelms me. Like a tidal wave.
Rest today Mantalady- and begin again!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Welcome back to you too rjyerkes
I really had to take the option of drinking off the table.
It was no longer a viable solution for anything for me.
Accepting that forced me to look for other solutions to my very real problems.
D
I really had to take the option of drinking off the table.
It was no longer a viable solution for anything for me.
Accepting that forced me to look for other solutions to my very real problems.
D
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,339
The AV was a really strong earlier. I actually envisioned opening up a bottle of wine and having some, and the AV was pleased. But I thought well I’m just going to have some crackers and sit down, and read a book for a few minutes .
I picked up my phone and i played a word game, and I thought to myself how nasty well I feel when I wake up tomorrow morning if I have a drink.
Then, it was so weird I get so tired I fell asleep at 6:15 PM and talk up at 9 PM tonight . To my wonderful amazement, I slept through my bewitching time! And the AV went away!
I was successful in delaying and then squashing that AV voice!
I’m looking forward to Day three.
Rjyerkes. Glad you’re back. Survivor k
In 1987 I really really really wanted to be a non-smoker. And they really really wanted not to be a slave to the cigarettes .
And now I really really really want to not be a drinker anymore. I do not want to be a slave to alcohol, and I do not want to die from liver failure. It is a very very nasty way to go.
It took me several times to quit smoking before I did it for good. And in my mind I’m going to do the best I canTo make this time my last time of quitting alcohol
Good night everyone 10:43 PM here in the Midwest
Free
I picked up my phone and i played a word game, and I thought to myself how nasty well I feel when I wake up tomorrow morning if I have a drink.
Then, it was so weird I get so tired I fell asleep at 6:15 PM and talk up at 9 PM tonight . To my wonderful amazement, I slept through my bewitching time! And the AV went away!
I was successful in delaying and then squashing that AV voice!
I’m looking forward to Day three.
Rjyerkes. Glad you’re back. Survivor k
In 1987 I really really really wanted to be a non-smoker. And they really really wanted not to be a slave to the cigarettes .
And now I really really really want to not be a drinker anymore. I do not want to be a slave to alcohol, and I do not want to die from liver failure. It is a very very nasty way to go.
It took me several times to quit smoking before I did it for good. And in my mind I’m going to do the best I canTo make this time my last time of quitting alcohol
Good night everyone 10:43 PM here in the Midwest
Free
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Just for anyone new to SR
we move this thread at the end of the month so that the new monthly thread (June 2018) can take its place here in Newcomers forum.This thread stays intact, but moves to the Daily Support forum.
Some members, especially those struggling, often prefer to move to June, but there's no rule about that at all
I wanted to let everyone know you're all very welcome to keep posting in this thread.
It will keep going
D
we move this thread at the end of the month so that the new monthly thread (June 2018) can take its place here in Newcomers forum.This thread stays intact, but moves to the Daily Support forum.
Some members, especially those struggling, often prefer to move to June, but there's no rule about that at all
I wanted to let everyone know you're all very welcome to keep posting in this thread.
It will keep going
D
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: AUD
Posts: 359
Hi guys, quick update for the end of the month. Today is coming to an end and today is Day 17.
I've been really busy with work which is good for my mental health and for the wallet. So my updates of late have been near on nonexistent.
Hopefully I'll get a chance to be more active in the June thread.
Hope everyones going well!
I've been really busy with work which is good for my mental health and for the wallet. So my updates of late have been near on nonexistent.
Hopefully I'll get a chance to be more active in the June thread.
Hope everyones going well!
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