Class of May 2018 Part 2
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 11
Hi all, day 1 in the bag. Not drinking but definitely in a downward depression spell, I am supposed to be going out tonight and being social and I really can't be bothered to do anything - ironing, cooking, cleaning, reading, I'm just mindlessly browsing the internet. I know I should force myself to do stuff but I just don't want to.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Kit - You've got a lovely day for kayaking, I hope you have a lot of fun! I am chuffed to hear you sounding positive too 
Day 21 for me today, can't believe it's 3 whole weeks sober! I am really proud and it's great not waking up with a hangover, less constant anxiety, eating better and not having that drunk guilt and sense of impending doom every day. However, I am loosing my gusto and motivation and I am finding it hard now to keep busy and find things to do, that has started to get me down a little. It's tiring. My mind has got stuck in a loop too, keep thinking "you don't really have a problem, you can stop drinking, you have proved that, you never were an alcoholic you were just too lazy to stop drinking and couldn't be bothered to do anything about it, but you've done that now so all you were really was lazy and nothing more" I've got a lot of negative self talk going on in my head, telling myself I am lonely because I am not worth spending time with anyhow, I am boring, I am an oddball, no-one really likes me, that I will never be truely happy, that I am always going to be alone, I am the problem and no matter how busy or distracted I keep myself I am still me and I am always going to be the loser that no-one gets and I can't fix that. I am scared to try and make new friends as I think that soon they will start to not like me anyhow so it's easier to not put myself in that position where I will get hurt eventually.
Not sure if this is part of the journey and others feel like this or have felt like this after 3 weeks.
Anyhow, hope everyone has a lovely sober sunday xx
Day 21 for me today, can't believe it's 3 whole weeks sober! I am really proud and it's great not waking up with a hangover, less constant anxiety, eating better and not having that drunk guilt and sense of impending doom every day. However, I am loosing my gusto and motivation and I am finding it hard now to keep busy and find things to do, that has started to get me down a little. It's tiring. My mind has got stuck in a loop too, keep thinking "you don't really have a problem, you can stop drinking, you have proved that, you never were an alcoholic you were just too lazy to stop drinking and couldn't be bothered to do anything about it, but you've done that now so all you were really was lazy and nothing more" I've got a lot of negative self talk going on in my head, telling myself I am lonely because I am not worth spending time with anyhow, I am boring, I am an oddball, no-one really likes me, that I will never be truely happy, that I am always going to be alone, I am the problem and no matter how busy or distracted I keep myself I am still me and I am always going to be the loser that no-one gets and I can't fix that. I am scared to try and make new friends as I think that soon they will start to not like me anyhow so it's easier to not put myself in that position where I will get hurt eventually.
Not sure if this is part of the journey and others feel like this or have felt like this after 3 weeks.
Anyhow, hope everyone has a lovely sober sunday xx
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 11
MantaLady- that all sounds very, very familiar to me (and is partly why I don't want to go out tonight). No advice on how to overcome it I am afraid, but alcoholism is all about using alcohol to hide from feelings (imo). You're feeling like that because you aren't hiding from your emotions any more. It's just that emotions suck... 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Originally Posted by Sober81 
A part two to start week 2
Going good atm, just had some curry am i'm watching Black Panther on our new OLED
Going good atm, just had some curry am i'm watching Black Panther on our new OLED
It was exactly a week ago (almost to the minute) that I told my husband the truth. I threw my Mother’s Day breakfast in the toilet because I was too sick to eat it. I told him my hiding spots and he dumped all the alcohol out. He was mad, he still is mad. But he was there for me.
I never want to be there again. One week later I woke early, exercised and showered. Feeling a lot better.. but I know I have a long road ahead of me and a lot of work to do.
Have a good day everyone. I have lunch plans with my littles, parents, sister and nephew.. and no alcohol.
Vietnam Vet
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Georgia
Posts: 421
Week 5 in the books for me! Heading to the gym shortly as nothings better than a good workout to jump start my day. My suggestion for those feeling the blues is to find a gym or exercise program and jump on board ASAP because you will feel soooooooo much better!
formerly luvSOBERlife
Join Date: May 2018
Location: East Tennessee USA
Posts: 116
Hello class of May '18 again. It's the start of Day 3 for me. I detoxed on my own Friday, my 44th birthday, which, in hindsight, wasn't a good idea. I'm in decent shape though and monitored my blood pressure which spiked to borderline dangerous. Thankfully I already have BP meds so I brought it back down.
I'm on a pink cloud right now but it will turn gray eventually, inevitably. I hope to be strong when that happens.
If you're back to day 1, anyone, pick yourself up again and stick one foot in front of the other. Refuse to drink for the next 5 minutes. Then the next hour. Then the next 24 hours. The farther away we get the easier it's going to get. I've beaten other addictions in my past so I know this is true.
We're in this together thanks to this wonderful board and you wonderful people.
I'm on a pink cloud right now but it will turn gray eventually, inevitably. I hope to be strong when that happens.
If you're back to day 1, anyone, pick yourself up again and stick one foot in front of the other. Refuse to drink for the next 5 minutes. Then the next hour. Then the next 24 hours. The farther away we get the easier it's going to get. I've beaten other addictions in my past so I know this is true.
We're in this together thanks to this wonderful board and you wonderful people.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 179
It's been over a week now since I had a drink. I feel like a different person and a different parent. I'm grateful that the process wasn't severe and is getting better by the day.
It was good to walk by the wine section of the store and not feel that magnetic pull. That said, I'm so scared that pull will come back and I never want to go back to feeling the way I did then.
I had a friend over last night and we both drank soda. What a novel concept!
Come to find out, she struggled with alcohol as well. Although I hate that she went through what she did, it's so liberating to talk to other people who have struggled and overcome, and to know I'm not alone in this.
Proud of everyone around the world who are stronger together on SR. Have a great rest of the weekend!
It was good to walk by the wine section of the store and not feel that magnetic pull. That said, I'm so scared that pull will come back and I never want to go back to feeling the way I did then.
I had a friend over last night and we both drank soda. What a novel concept!
Come to find out, she struggled with alcohol as well. Although I hate that she went through what she did, it's so liberating to talk to other people who have struggled and overcome, and to know I'm not alone in this.Proud of everyone around the world who are stronger together on SR. Have a great rest of the weekend!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 83
MantaLady,
I feel your pain. I have struggled with thoughts like those and others for as long as I can remember. Something that was a lifesaver for me was learning how to reparent myself. The hateful voices that looped in my head were all the things I was told growing up. That's was my programming.
Take a quiet moment with only yourself and imagine your inner child saying those things about herself. How would you respond as a loving parent? What would you say to that child? If you were suddenly put in charge of an abused child how would you treat them? Cause that's what a lot of us are, abused children. I've mentally rocked my young self, hugged her, comforted her and said all the kind and loving things I so desperately needed to hear for so long.
I can't tell you how healing and empowering this exercise has been for me. It also helped me to be a kinder, more understanding parent to my son. Also, it feels amazing.
When a therapist instructed me to do this many years ago, I felt like an idiot lol. I did it anyway and found I felt so much better each time I practiced. More and more secure and loved. And it was JUST ME. No pills or medication. Didn't even need the therapist for it.
After so many years it's now second nature. I love myself and I'm a better person for it....and I came up from the depths of being suicidal by the age of 12.
Of course, your situation may be entirely different but I hate to pass up an opportunity to help someone if possible. Good thoughts and positive feelings coming your way
I feel your pain. I have struggled with thoughts like those and others for as long as I can remember. Something that was a lifesaver for me was learning how to reparent myself. The hateful voices that looped in my head were all the things I was told growing up. That's was my programming.
Take a quiet moment with only yourself and imagine your inner child saying those things about herself. How would you respond as a loving parent? What would you say to that child? If you were suddenly put in charge of an abused child how would you treat them? Cause that's what a lot of us are, abused children. I've mentally rocked my young self, hugged her, comforted her and said all the kind and loving things I so desperately needed to hear for so long.
I can't tell you how healing and empowering this exercise has been for me. It also helped me to be a kinder, more understanding parent to my son. Also, it feels amazing.
When a therapist instructed me to do this many years ago, I felt like an idiot lol. I did it anyway and found I felt so much better each time I practiced. More and more secure and loved. And it was JUST ME. No pills or medication. Didn't even need the therapist for it.
After so many years it's now second nature. I love myself and I'm a better person for it....and I came up from the depths of being suicidal by the age of 12.
Of course, your situation may be entirely different but I hate to pass up an opportunity to help someone if possible. Good thoughts and positive feelings coming your way
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Day 8 after too many day 1’s
Hello everyone 😊 I’m new, although I’ve been lurking in the background since mid April and had several day 1’s since then, with 3-4 day weekend blowouts in between. I also lurked here about a year ago when I made 18 days sober and several day 1’s before falling off even trying to stop for another year.... so many day 1’s that I’ve forgotten.
I have been following all your stories in the May class and you’re all so inspirational that I finally found the courage to join up.
My downfall is red wine. I’ve been drinking pretty much daily since I was a teenager. I can easily knock back a bottle of red or more every night and 2 or more on weekends. I convinced myself it was normal. I’m really good at hiding bottles.... I usually decide in the middle of Sunday night, when I’m wide awake but dead tired, trying not to breathe wine fumes on my husband, my heart pounding and feeling utterly despondent and dreadful, to quit on Monday. But Mondays are generally complete hell so I have another wine to get through it, and it starts all over again.
Today is day 8 and the first Monday without a hangover in so long I can’t remember. The AV keeps telling me I don’t really have a problem, that I can just drink socially like everyone else. But I keep ending up hungover, feeling dreadful, anxious, depressed and guilty about everything imaginable. I know deep down the AV is lying to me, but it is so darn convincing!
I thought if I joined SR for support I might be able to learn to ignore the voice telling me it’s ok to drink, it’s fun, everyone else does, it’s perfectly normal 😡. I have a big birthday this month so I felt strongly to join the May class. I’m not sure how I’m going to get through my birthday this coming weekend sober... (Kit, you inspire me! ). I really want to stay sober, but I know my friends and family have planned a “surprise” birthday celebration that I really can’t get out of 😳 and I know it will involve lots of alcohol. I have filled my fridge with non-alcoholic drinks and am hoping to resist their urges to “come on, have a drink, it’s your birthday!” 😳 I haven’t told them the full story, just that I’ve decided not to drink much anymore because I hate hangovers and feel better without alcohol.
You’re all going so well, be proud of your efforts, and for those who have slipped up, don’t beat yourself up, I’ve had so many day 1’s and am trying to be kind to myself,
Thanks to you all,
Willow 😊
ps sorry for the novel....
I have been following all your stories in the May class and you’re all so inspirational that I finally found the courage to join up.
My downfall is red wine. I’ve been drinking pretty much daily since I was a teenager. I can easily knock back a bottle of red or more every night and 2 or more on weekends. I convinced myself it was normal. I’m really good at hiding bottles.... I usually decide in the middle of Sunday night, when I’m wide awake but dead tired, trying not to breathe wine fumes on my husband, my heart pounding and feeling utterly despondent and dreadful, to quit on Monday. But Mondays are generally complete hell so I have another wine to get through it, and it starts all over again.
Today is day 8 and the first Monday without a hangover in so long I can’t remember. The AV keeps telling me I don’t really have a problem, that I can just drink socially like everyone else. But I keep ending up hungover, feeling dreadful, anxious, depressed and guilty about everything imaginable. I know deep down the AV is lying to me, but it is so darn convincing!
I thought if I joined SR for support I might be able to learn to ignore the voice telling me it’s ok to drink, it’s fun, everyone else does, it’s perfectly normal 😡. I have a big birthday this month so I felt strongly to join the May class. I’m not sure how I’m going to get through my birthday this coming weekend sober... (Kit, you inspire me! ). I really want to stay sober, but I know my friends and family have planned a “surprise” birthday celebration that I really can’t get out of 😳 and I know it will involve lots of alcohol. I have filled my fridge with non-alcoholic drinks and am hoping to resist their urges to “come on, have a drink, it’s your birthday!” 😳 I haven’t told them the full story, just that I’ve decided not to drink much anymore because I hate hangovers and feel better without alcohol.
You’re all going so well, be proud of your efforts, and for those who have slipped up, don’t beat yourself up, I’ve had so many day 1’s and am trying to be kind to myself,
Thanks to you all,
Willow 😊
ps sorry for the novel....
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 179
I hung out with my friends today at their house. They had wine and cocktails and I had ginger ale and didn't want anything else. We all had an amazing time, and when I told them I wasn't drinking they didn't care. In a good way. They love me drunk or sober. It was amazing.
It's so good to know that life can be ok without a drink, you know?
My second week starts today!
It's so good to know that life can be ok without a drink, you know?
My second week starts today!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi and welcome aboard Willow
Manta Lady - its very normal to feel a little deflated after the rush of recovery wears off...and its normal to question if we really did have a problem. The second part is easy I think - noone comes to a place like SR for fun.
Re read your old posts and I reckon you will come away with more certainty bout your problem.
As for the slow down in motivation - this is really where the rubber meets the road.
If you feel wobbly - redouble your efforts, look at your recovery plan.
This link always inspires me - apologies if I've shared it before but I t it every so often anyway.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
I guarantee tho that this is not the best normal recovery gets - you won't feel like this forever more - you will feel good again
D
Manta Lady - its very normal to feel a little deflated after the rush of recovery wears off...and its normal to question if we really did have a problem. The second part is easy I think - noone comes to a place like SR for fun.
Re read your old posts and I reckon you will come away with more certainty bout your problem.
As for the slow down in motivation - this is really where the rubber meets the road.
If you feel wobbly - redouble your efforts, look at your recovery plan.
This link always inspires me - apologies if I've shared it before but I t it every so often anyway.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
I guarantee tho that this is not the best normal recovery gets - you won't feel like this forever more - you will feel good again
D
OX
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Upper Left USA
Posts: 630
Hi folks. Joining May group here and on day 4. Have bit of an issue with tendinitis in my foot which makes walking and driving very painful. Feel good I can take Advil without it sitting on a gut full o beer. Feeling better overall and wanting to live. Get in shape and start living. Happy Sober Sunday all
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Midwest
Posts: 133
So much good information and honest stories here
Hi - enjoying reading your honest struggles and achievements! Back from Day 1 to Day 3 today... gardened and kept busy all weekend. Felt good. If you are ever ever pondering, giving into that AV please think of me. Don’t do it. Trying to get by long term sobriety back, too many Day 1s. They don’t work. Appreciate all your support.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks Dee 😊
Lipstuck I think I’ll try that. I was going to drink non-alcoholic wine at my birthday this weekend so it looks like I’m having a drink, and not say anything at all, but I think I’ll just tell them I’m not drinking....
Survivor your posts inspire me. I’ve had so many day 1’s I can’t remember how many, but I think joining SR is a great way to remember to not give up on giving up. It’s the first time I’ve openly admitted I have a problem (the sneaky AV is still telling me I don’t have a problem ..)
Mantalady, I hear you re the negative self talk, I’ve been trying not to listen to mine but the sneaky voice tries to tell me I’m boring, no fun, not good enough etc. I’m working to banish it’s negativity and not so subtle digs to just have a drink and you’ll be much more fun ... but it’s a liar. We are all amazing and beautiful in our own unique way. Without alcohol. 😊
Lipstuck I think I’ll try that. I was going to drink non-alcoholic wine at my birthday this weekend so it looks like I’m having a drink, and not say anything at all, but I think I’ll just tell them I’m not drinking....
Survivor your posts inspire me. I’ve had so many day 1’s I can’t remember how many, but I think joining SR is a great way to remember to not give up on giving up. It’s the first time I’ve openly admitted I have a problem (the sneaky AV is still telling me I don’t have a problem ..)
Mantalady, I hear you re the negative self talk, I’ve been trying not to listen to mine but the sneaky voice tries to tell me I’m boring, no fun, not good enough etc. I’m working to banish it’s negativity and not so subtle digs to just have a drink and you’ll be much more fun ... but it’s a liar. We are all amazing and beautiful in our own unique way. Without alcohol. 😊
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