24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 380
Hi Joan and all the rest of this beautiful group, have a awesome day!!Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
Originally Posted by venuscat 
Alex love ~ I know the meetings at the sober house are important to you. And I remember those awkward standing around moments too.....gosh, I was upset so many times.....do these girls ever go for a tea or coffee or cake after the meeting? Maybe there is somewhere close by you could all go? Sorry if this is silly, but I always hated the chatting while smoking thing....so much smoke and it made me feel like a naughty schoolgirl.
You are lovely and people will come to know you and see that honey.
♥
You are lovely and people will come to know you and see that honey.
♥
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Yay!! A sunny bank holiday Monday..... I just popped to the local shop and people smiled at me! The sun is making people happy and friendly.... the sun has magic powers. I love the sun.
My AV has been chirping lately..... not telling me to drink, now it's telling me to run. I ran 10 miles earlier .... on one of the hottest days of the year.... and I'm an English person so I'm not used to hot days. The high I felt after pushing myself to finish the run was incredible and now I'm trying to convince myself that my legs will be OK to run another 5 miles once it starts to cool down tonight.
I recognise the voice in my head as my AV. It likes the high I get after running and wants to recapture that high over and over again. I don't know what the right thing to do is.... I mean, I'm an addict and I'll always be an addict and I guess there's much worse things to be addicted to than running. But whereas I spent years in denial about my addiction to alcohol .... at least I can now recognise my AV whenever it speaks. And this awareness means I can protect myself. So I won't be going out for another run later ... 10 miles on a hot day is enough. Being honest and aware about what I am means I can police my AV. I can keep it in its place. It doesn't control me anymore but my goodness, it really wants to.
Congratulations to everyone celebrating a milestone today. 24 more for me please xxxx
My AV has been chirping lately..... not telling me to drink, now it's telling me to run. I ran 10 miles earlier .... on one of the hottest days of the year.... and I'm an English person so I'm not used to hot days. The high I felt after pushing myself to finish the run was incredible and now I'm trying to convince myself that my legs will be OK to run another 5 miles once it starts to cool down tonight.
I recognise the voice in my head as my AV. It likes the high I get after running and wants to recapture that high over and over again. I don't know what the right thing to do is.... I mean, I'm an addict and I'll always be an addict and I guess there's much worse things to be addicted to than running. But whereas I spent years in denial about my addiction to alcohol .... at least I can now recognise my AV whenever it speaks. And this awareness means I can protect myself. So I won't be going out for another run later ... 10 miles on a hot day is enough. Being honest and aware about what I am means I can police my AV. I can keep it in its place. It doesn't control me anymore but my goodness, it really wants to.
Congratulations to everyone celebrating a milestone today. 24 more for me please xxxx
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Originally Posted by goodbyeevan
24 more please. The meeting tonight was good but the after meeting smoke always disappoints. I try to talk to people and maybe make a friend but it never happens. I always end up feeling left out, awkwardly standing around. The sober living home residents all know each other and I'm just not able to break in. If it's meant to happen, it will. Then I hit a beautiful cardinal on my way home. Feathers came flying in the windows. Really hurt my heart. Tomorrow will be better.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: yorkshire UK
Posts: 879
Hi all. I am struggling a bit today. Got the blues quite bad and I don't really know why. Maybe its another lonely bank holiday. I went to church yesterday morning, then onto my friends house for a bbq, it was lovely, lots of my other friends there and people I hadn't met before but really liked. Lots of booze but it didn't bother me. It was my friend of over 30 years house and I always feel so comfortable with her I never think of relapse. Couldn't sleep last night, don't know why but that hasn't helped my mood. Came back home this afternoon. Its a beautiful day, the town is packed with tourists as it was the annual duck race. everyone down at the river having fun. I am just sitting indoors alone and feeling blue. Even crying a lot which I hadn't done since early days of sobriety. Tomorrow morning I am volunteering at the local theatre (am learning to be a tour guide), in the afternoon I am at the charity shop which I love. But right now I am really down. I am not craving a drink but in a way missing the oblivion it gave me. I am trying so hard to be positive and I know this will pass but right now its rubbish.
Sorry to moan. Just wanted to post how I feel. I am just over 4 months sober and I haven't felt like this since the first few weeks of sobriety. Its horrible.
Sorry to moan. Just wanted to post how I feel. I am just over 4 months sober and I haven't felt like this since the first few weeks of sobriety. Its horrible.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
I'm sorry you're feeling like this Juliet. Like you say, these feelings will pass but knowing that doesn't help an awful lot when you're going through it. I'm thinking of you and sending you loads of love. I noticed that you said everyone down at the river is having fun. It might seem like that but I guarantee, not everyone is having fun. Some will be hungover and tired, some will be worrying about something, some will be getting fed up with their kids/in laws/spouse and some would much rather be at home chilling out. Whenever we feel down our minds like to tell us that we're the only ones suffering .... we start to believe that everyone else is living this incredible life that for some reason we can't seem to gain access to. But it isn't true. The truth is, everybody suffers sometimes. You had a great day yesterday and you have a great day lined up for tomorrow. View today as a recovery day.... a day when you can cry and feel down and feel all those emotions we drowned out with alcohol. Try to view it as a positive thing. You're healing. You're craving oblivion but you're not heading there. And you're doing so incredibly well. This journey we're all on... it's never smooth and there will be bad days... but somehow those bad days seem to make the good days even better. Cry, watch TV, read a book, have a cup of tea... do whatever you have to do to get through the rest of today. And never forget for a moment how incredibly awesome you are xxx
And annual duck race??? How do I not know about this? Maybe I'll come to that next year xxxx
And annual duck race??? How do I not know about this? Maybe I'll come to that next year xxxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Ireland
Posts: 4,981
Juliet I am the worst person for giving advice lol.. I think you are going to have bad days here and there as I had plenty as well and still do..Hang in there you are doing great and doing the right thing
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: yorkshire UK
Posts: 879
Thanks guys. Neo you are not the worst person to give advice, you are great, I even love your jokes. You and Kenton are right, this is just a bad day and it will pass. It just feels like its come out of nowhere.
I know what you mean Kenton, everyone has their problems and they won't all be having fun. I know that feeling of pretending. And I know that during my marriage it looked like I had it all but the reality was things had never been so bad.
Just had chocolate ice cream, watching tv now and gonna have a very early night.
Thank you.
I know what you mean Kenton, everyone has their problems and they won't all be having fun. I know that feeling of pretending. And I know that during my marriage it looked like I had it all but the reality was things had never been so bad.
Just had chocolate ice cream, watching tv now and gonna have a very early night.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,981
Originally Posted by goodbyeevan
Leigh, that is so sad about your little one! Its bad enough to feel upset yourself about it! I'm glad she couldn't see lower to the ground! I had never hit a bird before, squirrels and maybe a possum cause they're slow and dumb but never a bird! it was shocking.
I did have a family of feral kittens that lived in my car's engine when it would get cold. I spent hours some days trying to coax them out or seeing if all 6 were out. I'd hit the horn or brake hard in the driveway or slam the hood to get them out. I took my dog to the park one day and 2 of them didn't get out. They made it several miles before I saw one fall out from underneath my car. I got to the park and tried to walk my dog but couldn't stop crying. I got in the car to go home and the other kitten fell out on the way back. I don't know why or how they stayed in there so long. I drank alot that day. I wonder how I would handle it now.
I did have a family of feral kittens that lived in my car's engine when it would get cold. I spent hours some days trying to coax them out or seeing if all 6 were out. I'd hit the horn or brake hard in the driveway or slam the hood to get them out. I took my dog to the park one day and 2 of them didn't get out. They made it several miles before I saw one fall out from underneath my car. I got to the park and tried to walk my dog but couldn't stop crying. I got in the car to go home and the other kitten fell out on the way back. I don't know why or how they stayed in there so long. I drank alot that day. I wonder how I would handle it now.
What a sad story.
My bet is that now you would find a healthy way to handle it.
When Sandy Hook happened, I was a bit over a year into my sobriety. I was home, in caregiving mode, when I saw the news report. I felt hopeless and helpless and completely devastated. The thought of drinking briefly crossed my mind.
I struggled with how to cope; realizing that there was no way to directly help the children or families in that moment, it dawned on me, I think by the Grace of God I think, that I could help other children by making a donation to St. Jude's Childrens' Hospital. it was a way to counteract evil with something good.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,746
Originally Posted by kenton
Yay!! A sunny bank holiday Monday..... I just popped to the local shop and people smiled at me! The sun is making people happy and friendly.... the sun has magic powers. I love the sun.
My AV has been chirping lately..... not telling me to drink, now it's telling me to run. I ran 10 miles earlier .... on one of the hottest days of the year.... and I'm an English person so I'm not used to hot days. The high I felt after pushing myself to finish the run was incredible and now I'm trying to convince myself that my legs will be OK to run another 5 miles once it starts to cool down tonight.
I recognise the voice in my head as my AV. It likes the high I get after running and wants to recapture that high over and over again. I don't know what the right thing to do is.... I mean, I'm an addict and I'll always be an addict and I guess there's much worse things to be addicted to than running. But whereas I spent years in denial about my addiction to alcohol .... at least I can now recognise my AV whenever it speaks. And this awareness means I can protect myself. So I won't be going out for another run later ... 10 miles on a hot day is enough. Being honest and aware about what I am means I can police my AV. I can keep it in its place. It doesn't control me anymore but my goodness, it really wants to.
Congratulations to everyone celebrating a milestone today. 24 more for me please xxxx
My AV has been chirping lately..... not telling me to drink, now it's telling me to run. I ran 10 miles earlier .... on one of the hottest days of the year.... and I'm an English person so I'm not used to hot days. The high I felt after pushing myself to finish the run was incredible and now I'm trying to convince myself that my legs will be OK to run another 5 miles once it starts to cool down tonight.
I recognise the voice in my head as my AV. It likes the high I get after running and wants to recapture that high over and over again. I don't know what the right thing to do is.... I mean, I'm an addict and I'll always be an addict and I guess there's much worse things to be addicted to than running. But whereas I spent years in denial about my addiction to alcohol .... at least I can now recognise my AV whenever it speaks. And this awareness means I can protect myself. So I won't be going out for another run later ... 10 miles on a hot day is enough. Being honest and aware about what I am means I can police my AV. I can keep it in its place. It doesn't control me anymore but my goodness, it really wants to.
Congratulations to everyone celebrating a milestone today. 24 more for me please xxxx
We recognise the voice and we try and keep our balance.....jojo mentioned OCD with regards to weeding before, and I had to almost physically stop myself from going and doing a few minutes gardening. I am addicted to gardening. I have so many plants and there is so much work involved that it is a daily or twice daily thing now, and STILL I have to stop myself from buying more plants.
My AV is hungry.....it wants wants wants....best I don't indulge that, even if it is plants.
We can protect ourselves, as you said.
♥♥
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