Strawberry18

Iron women don't be embarrassed ... I slipped at the weekend and wanted to delete my account. But like I learned .. No o e judges here .. Only 100% surport!

County life did the doctors take your bloods? Sometimes in life a wake up call helps ... Stay strong and beat this !
Day 3 today ! Did t sleep great but it was nice to be Walm in bed knowing no hangover this morning !
Busy busy day today .. Heading to the capital of the island to do a last Christmas shop and food shop ! Have a good one

Strawberry18

I will join you both ! Jan 2nd
I'm making loose 10 kilos my goal for not drinking .. And to heal all the damage from healthy eating to exersise! 10 kilos .... Gulp

JohnDoe1220

I can relate to just about everything you said. The embarrassment is one of the worst aspects of alcoholism. Even if no one else knows about it. Waking up hungover and having to dispose of the evidence after my wife leaves is just about the most disgusting feeling.

I tell myself that I'm not going to go out and get more to drink when I finish what I have (which is always enough to get me borderline blackout) but of course I always wind up going back out and getting a lot more! I sleep for a few hours, then wake up feeling so miserable, that I pray for the ceiling to collapse and crush my skull and end my misery. But instead I just lay there crawling out of my skin, hating myself and unable to get out of bed. My mind and body take days to bounce back.

When I exert some will power and discipline, I can generate some positive momentum and I feel great. But I always wind up self-destructing, regressing and losing most of what I had gained.

It completely shatters my self confidence, but fortunately that is something that can always be built back up. We will get over this hump!

JustTony

Day 19

Good morning everyone (from the UK)

Welcome JohnDoe.

Welcome back IronWoman.

I can see a number of you are looking to lose weight at the same time as give up alcohol? I've been doing that the whole time too. I'm up to 11 pounds (5 kilos) lost in just under three weeks. Mind you I have been going to the gym and walking the dog a lot. I don't suppose you cannot lose weight if you replace over 2,500 calories of booze and drunk junk food binges with exercise and clean eating can you? So weight loss is definitely a positive side effect (so long as you don't develop a 2,000 calorie a day chocolate/ice cream addiction instead!!!)

I need to address my sleep patterns though. I'm getting between 4 and 6 hours per night (good sleep) but then can't get back to snoozing. For example I was up at 4am today after lying wide awake at 3.30am. I am going to bed earlier (10pm to 11pm as opposed to falling asleep on the floor downstairs at 3am in a stupor) but I would like to get a regular 8 hour pattern going soon.

Still feeling strong about not drinking but the odd trigger is about. Collected my presents off my father, mother and sister last night whilst dropping off theirs. I'm pretty sure my dad has gifted me a case of wine (12 bottles) given the weight of the box (that is all wrapped up). All the other wine I have received is in my office over 40 miles away (that I visit rarely) but this will be in my home. Never mind. If the box is wine then I'll drive to the office on Xmas day - let myself in the building - and put that in my locked office too. I'll probably gift it to the Accounts dept and HR dept in the New Year after my winter break? Or raffle it for charity? We'll see. Bridges to cross as and when and one at a time.

I will not drink today.

Best,

JT

Magpie82

I went to dinner and didn’t order beer. Iced tea. It’s weird- I feel like I’m half-assed going into this this time, but I must be more determined than I’m letting myself think. Maybe my true self is fighting my self-doubts. I’m not making much sense. I’m affraid to fail.

Hope everyone’s day was or is going well. It’s the end of day 3 for me. Thanks to everyone posting. Hang in there.

JustTony

Don't under estimate what you achieved during your evening. You did an amazing job. Allow yourself to be proud of who you were tonight and of your steely resolve to get better.

Good job.

emme99

Hi everyone

Welcome JohnDoe and welcome back ironwoman

Thanks canguy & Juno~

I'm really sorry to hear about your mom too Juno. It's so hard to see our parents getting older. No much we can do except do our best to be there and enjoy our time with them. I hope your daughter had a happy birthday today!

Ezra, I'm not in Weight Watchers currently but I have been and I like the "Sorry, I don't have enough points!" reason. I may have to use it sometime.

Congrats on day 25 canguy

Great job getting through dinner Magpie. Congrats on day 3!

Day 17
We had our meeting this morning and it went as well as could be expected. My voice sounds awful but my cold feels better. Kind of weird but I'll take it. Minor thoughts of drinking today, not bad but a reminder I have to be diligent.

Have a great day/evening everyone

Red78

Another day down - day 6.. The habit is breaking, and by that I mean the 5pm habit of come home and pour a wine.. For me that's the hardest part to get past, if I can get to about 630pm I'm sweet, I won't drink for the rest of the night, but that's just a normal week night, not sure about tempting situations yet which will surely come up in the next few weeks several times.. I have nominated myself as sober driver for xmas day so I'm covered for that one except.... that I can have one and drive which I would do on a normal day and xmas day I will be seeing my family which means my wine drinking buddy/best friend/cousin, this will be the struggle, not to have the 1 drink... Instead of buying her wine this year I bought her bath bombs just so I didn't feel tempted..
But for today I made it through day 6..

lovehoops

HI everyone,

Welcome Johndoe and welcome back iron woman.

I'm glad you survived your dinner , magpie...great job!

Interesting about the weight and drinking....years ago, (like 14) when I was drinking round the clock , before I originally got sober, I was thinner when I drank. I believe because I did not eat so I could get drunk faster!!
Even now, when I am in a drinking pattern, I really don't eat as much...probably for the same reason...to get drunk faster. However, the alcohol weight has sunk in!! Most likely because then I was in my early 40's and now mid 50's....weight sticks like glue!!! So January, weight watchers it is. They have anew program now too.

My daughter comes back home tonight for the holiday week. Everyone will be home then. A good thing for me because I'm not alone at all!!being alone is my biggest trigger!!

Have a great day everyone xo

ChloeRose63

Morning everyone. Up for a sober day. Having those terrible dreams that really don't give me any rest. So hoping to get a good nap in today.

Countrylife

Loui84 yes he did take blood work just found out liver levels just a little high nothing to freak out about he said but thinking no permanent damage everything can go back down with healthy diet and absolutely no alcohol that’s the way he explained it to me he also told me the medication won’t treat alcoholism just withdrawals he said I should look into AA or addiction counselor which I’m not ready to do yet
but hopefully everyone doin good glad to see everyone adding sober days onto there journey keep fighting welcome to anyone that’s new if it wasn’t for everyone one on here I would be wasting my life still with a bottle thanks a million for the support

Juno11

Hey everyone (day 9 for me, I think). I've got to get up and get to work early today so just a quick check in!

Emme: Yes, seeing your parents age is very hard, and you're right - there's nothing we can do about it. So hard! My dad is doing pretty well. He's in his early 80's and can still drive and do things and plays vigorous tennis. My Mom has had so many issues that she can no longer drive (how sad I am for her) and has lost her independence. However, mentally she is well and I still talk to her on the phone and spend time with her so that is the good part.

Thanks for asking about my daughter's birthday - it went well! Her friends blew her off so she was kind of down in the dumps, but her family was there for her to lift her spirits and she seemed to appreciate that. I'm so happy we were there for her!

Welcome JohnDoe and IronWoman and anyone else I may have missed!

JohnDoe: your description of how you feel after drinking and waking up and wishing the ceiling would fall on you really resonated with me. The past few times when I drank, I was so so so miserable when the hangover kicked in that I actually imagined getting in my car, driving to a bridge and jumping off and ending it all. However, it wasn't that I wanted that, I just wanted to stop feeling how I was feeling. It's a horrible feeling to feel that bad and that's what keeps me from drinking again.

Re: weight loss and gain, I was always one of those who loses weight when I drink. When I drink I hardly eat, and then wine binge and purge and everything comes out of me. When I was drinking my heaviest I was the thinnest I have ever been, but it wasn't a healthy thin. When I'm sober, I eat normally and tend to put on a little weight. My goal for the new year is healthier eating, going completely vegetarian, and exercising more. My daughter who is now 19 has gone vegetarian and is so happy and feels so much better.

Have a great day everyone! Thursday today, yeah!

Chloe Rose, hope you're feeling a little better

freedom1438

Good morning- I feel great this morning because I was sober yesterday. I really want to end 2017 with sober days and continue into 2018 sober every day. I am very grateful for this site!

ChloeRose63

Hi, Freedom!
"Ditto" on your comments from me.

Ezra78

It is a great program. I think the 4th of Jan is the first meeting I'll be able to go to.

Ezra78

When I drink I eat a LOT, so being sober alone is going to make a huge difference for me.

Sleep is hard for me too. Last night I woke up at 3:30am and couldn't get back to sleep. I work until 9:30 tonight, so it's going to be a long day. Let me know if you figure out something that works to keep you asleep.

As for the box ... good luck ... I hope its not wine.

Strawberry18

Afternoon all... Feeling ok... Tired .
Another coffee.

Ezra78

Awesome!!

Magpie82

Morning here, day 4. I’m feeling a bit listless last night into this morning. Foggy headed too. I feel good about not drinking last night. I hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for being here!

hills

I'd like to join the December class, which is something I've been meaning to do for awhile. I suppose it's better late than never. I've been following everyone's progress on here and I want to be part of this class, everyone is so supportive and non judgemental. I'm on day 1 (again). I'm hungover and feeling awful but all I can really do is say that I won't drink today.