leanabeana

Hey lily. I'm hanging in there. I'm coming up on 90 days which was previously my cut off for drinking again. I see sobriety as a permanent thing now, but it's kind of messing with my head. I was watching people drink on TV and had those thoughts of wishing I could do that. I don't have much craving anymore but I miss the ritual of it.

Off to a SMART meeting for my lunch break!

theVman31

Hi Lily (thx) and leana.
Its quiet here alright I have to admit im guilty too.
I will check on here more regularly.
Leana I remember you posted or were talking about the timeline in recovery a while back. I think 3 months to 5 months is a period to be "on guard"
AV can be a sneaky devil.
Your doing great.
We all are.

lilymaz

Leana, it's tricky I know. But Vman is right, you are doing great. It will get better lovely.

I'm off out for the day, glad to be clear headed and rested and looking forward to my day off. Vman, I read on the 24 hour thread that you are off to Ireland to see your ma and family. Hope you have a great time!

Dee74

actors usually drink cold tea masquerading as booze anyway Leana.
Stay strong - don't give your AV any wriggle room.

D

decchemist

On the train back from Berwick. There are 10 lads (30 somethings) obviously going on a stag weekend. All half drunk already, cases of beer on the table, playing loud music and being very loud themselves. At least they are not swearing too much but are occasionally talking about disgusting topics.

If I was ever thinking about drinking today this would 1000% stop me.

Downthepath

That does it for me, too, Dec.
Have a good weekend, all.

leanabeana

Thanks all for your kind and thoughtful responses. I went to a SMART meeting yesterday and felt a bit disinterested and disengaged. I kept wondering why I was there. I pondered if I might be one of those people who didn't need to attend meetings, but I'm sure that's my AV trying to wriggle out of the recovery process.

I feel increasingly more positive that the 12 steps are not for me, but I would like to continue with some kind of in-person support in addition to posting here.

I had a couple of sleepless nights because an insurance glitch left me without Ambien for two days. I hate being so dependent, but I plan to start my taper on Sunday.

I'm so glad it's Friday and I plan to make it a great one! Or at least a good one.

Lava256

Hi everyone.

It's been a long time that I haven't posted on here. It's been nice reading up on what you've all been up to.

I need all the support I can get since getting and staying sober has been very difficult and it's amped up my anxiety to a really high level. I also have many changes happening in my life right now and the feeling of uncertainty about the future is high.

I really need to stay sober. For good. I'm super tired of the alcoholic merry-go-round I've been on.

decchemist

I go to SMART leana. We don't really do much of what SMART is supposed to be about, e.g. all the 'tools' they have and just really end up talking about whatever is on people's minds that is any way related to addiction. What I really like about it is that (and I don't want this to sound in any way superior) I meet with folk who I would never, ever mix with in any other situation in my life. It has been interesting to speak to heroin users for example and see that they are just normal people who got caught up in something bad. I really enjoy SMART.

Purplrks3647

I can relate to the 3 to 5 month range....since I joined here my two longest stints of sobriety were 4 to 4.5 months.....definitely need to be "on guard" (especially with the holidays coming up again!)

Hugs to everyone, and lets all have an awesome weekend!

Lava256

Well, I managed my first 24 hours yesterday. It was neither easy nor hard. I just had to keep reminding myself that I don't drink anymore and that I will never change my mind.

I had a close call, though. After putting my son in bed, I came out and found my husband had dinner on the table and had poured us shots. I actually picked up the glass but then put it down immediately and didn't touch it again. I haven't/can't/don't want to really bring my husband into my seesawing sobriety. He can be critical and I don't need that extra stress. So I'm essentially on this journey with just you guys; which is fine. I know what I need to do and the support here is enough for me. I think. For now. I truly hope that I've got it this time.

Anyway, wish you all a lovely day and I'll check in later. Thank you for being there.

lilymaz

Morning all, working this morning and tomorrow so my weekend is sorted. I had a magical day off yesterday. Went for a walk in the park with my grandson while my daughter got ready. It was such a beautiful Autumn sunny day, the colours in the park were amazing and everyone was smiling. Loved it.

Lava, well done on putting that shot back down, don't know if I could do that!

I hope you all have a great Saturday, must run!

determined99

Good morning and happy Saturday, absolutely loving this fall weather!

I have never been to smart, but I do think it is important to have support. The AV is tricky and will ambush you when you least expect it. I don't think it matters what type of support, it just has to work for you personally. I like this site, others like aa, etc.. It's all good in my opinion.

I will say it again, waking up rested and not hungover is priceless. Here's to another great day!

theVman31

Wow the class has got a new lease of life.
D99 I agree it doesnt matter as long as you have support and know when you need it
Hi Lily enjoy your sunday.
Keep going and posting lava.
Hello purps. we joined SR together march 2016 and are still together my friend
Hi Dec, glad your here with us.
Hope you are having a good weekend leana. Good luck with the tapering today (ambien)
Downthepath holà

lilymaz

A quick good morning, it's off to work for me! Have a great Sunday all

theVman31

Have a good day (even in work) lily.

Downthepath

Today was tough, but that makes it more satisfying as it draws to a close. A good bit of cake has been consumed, but I can think of worse things. The fact that Mrs Downthepath still drinks can grate a little at times, but she really can bake, so I suppose I'll forgive her.
Take care, all - and have a good week.

theVman31

Snap.
"A good bit of cake has been consumed, but I can think of worse things."

I had a massive dinner and two desserts.
Tomorrow I will partake in a little exercise

leanabeana

I had pie and ice cream last night...

My weight gain is getting a bit out of control.

I plan on doing a long walk today, but I know exercise isn't enough for me to control my weight. I have to rein in my diet.

I hope everyone is having a fabulous Sunday.

theVman31

Me too leana the kgs are piling up.
This is my new challenge.
Balance diet and exercise.