Class of March 2013 Part 52
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
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Wow budd, I must have missed your post. Sorry man. I have a couple of friends down there, both were surprised to find out their homes are close to fine as can be hoped for. They aren't allowed back yet.
Toots glad you are recouperating.
Babs hope things are going well. You have a great weekend too!
Sorry gilmer, apparently I e not had any stories to tell lately. As I like to say IRL, I've worked damn hard to get this boring!
Hi my name is wehav, I don't drink, don't smoke, but I've got a clay habit... lol. I still live in the solution and continue with the maintenance aspects of my program, but haven't been to an aa meeting in like forever. The studio has kind of become my in person fellowship, playing with clay has become my meditation. I'm cool with that for now.
Toots glad you are recouperating.
Babs hope things are going well. You have a great weekend too!
Sorry gilmer, apparently I e not had any stories to tell lately. As I like to say IRL, I've worked damn hard to get this boring!
Hi my name is wehav, I don't drink, don't smoke, but I've got a clay habit... lol. I still live in the solution and continue with the maintenance aspects of my program, but haven't been to an aa meeting in like forever. The studio has kind of become my in person fellowship, playing with clay has become my meditation. I'm cool with that for now.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Hi Babs!
Yes, I enjoy coming here, too. Feels very comfy. On the Overs thread we have a little topic going at the moment about the ways in which being sober is so much better. Every comment I've read is spot on for me. I think it helps to remind ourselves occasionally of the incredibly huge benefits of the work we all have done to get to this point -- enjoying the fruits of our labors, to to speak
Yes, I enjoy coming here, too. Feels very comfy. On the Overs thread we have a little topic going at the moment about the ways in which being sober is so much better. Every comment I've read is spot on for me. I think it helps to remind ourselves occasionally of the incredibly huge benefits of the work we all have done to get to this point -- enjoying the fruits of our labors, to to speak
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
ok ---here goes ! ! I haven't been on the over thread enough to feel comfortable talking about this. Sooooo-----here's my situation !
It's going to be my first class reunion not drinking and I had a unexpected visitor come to our house last week to remind me of our gathering. Oh lord, I don't want to go. It's a small class from a small town and after we tour the school we are all going up to the only bar in town for drinks and then to another establishment about 60 miles away for supper and then supposedly spend the night at a motel next door. I've been down this road before for heavens sake. My husband drinks every night for heavens sake. For heavens sake why can't I handle this? I'm no baby ! I didn't drink in High School but, made up for it after I graduated. I was crowned queen of the school and all that stuff so, I'm not disliked. What the heck. Maybe I just needed to put this down and reread it to see just how silly I'm.
Babs
It's going to be my first class reunion not drinking and I had a unexpected visitor come to our house last week to remind me of our gathering. Oh lord, I don't want to go. It's a small class from a small town and after we tour the school we are all going up to the only bar in town for drinks and then to another establishment about 60 miles away for supper and then supposedly spend the night at a motel next door. I've been down this road before for heavens sake. My husband drinks every night for heavens sake. For heavens sake why can't I handle this? I'm no baby ! I didn't drink in High School but, made up for it after I graduated. I was crowned queen of the school and all that stuff so, I'm not disliked. What the heck. Maybe I just needed to put this down and reread it to see just how silly I'm.
Babs
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Could you just meet them at the school for the tour?
I was going to say join them for dinner--but after having hung out at the bar, they'll already be half in the bag. Probably their conversation will be pretty tedious.
You don't need to spend time with a bunch of drunks.
If anyone questions you, you can always say, "I've stopped drinking, but I don't want to spoil the good time. You guys go. I'll be with you in spirit!"
I was going to say join them for dinner--but after having hung out at the bar, they'll already be half in the bag. Probably their conversation will be pretty tedious.
You don't need to spend time with a bunch of drunks.
If anyone questions you, you can always say, "I've stopped drinking, but I don't want to spoil the good time. You guys go. I'll be with you in spirit!"
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
my home town is 150 miles from where I live. I just have to do this and I can but, I do want to see some of my class mates and I know it will be ok. I just can't put my finger on it ! What's the big deal this time? Good lord, I've been through a lot of times like this at the lake ==why now? I'm a big girl. I can leave when I'm ready !
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Babs, it's only now after more than 3 years that I'm feeling much more solid. If it were me, I wouldn't go if I felt it was risky (and that's still true today). For me, nothing is worth risking my sobriety for. Just my opinion.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Thanks Sass---I was waiting for your reply. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me. Maybe it's just today. I also took hubby to the dentist. he had 4 teeth extracted and of course we had to go back this afternoon cause it didn't stop bleeding . Anyway things are fine. and I think I wore myself out. HAHAHha
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
If you want to go, then go Babs - make a plan, think through likely scenarios - people asking why you're not drinking, people wanting you to drink, you feeling like you're missing out etc etc - and how to neutralise them - and have an escape plan if needed
D
D
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
thanks soo much I needed to hear that. and you know what . It's that feeling of missing out. Especially cause I'll be with old friends and old memory's . Thanks Dee----now, I've got time to get my thoughts together before this coming week-end. and that's just what I'm going to do. !
Babs
Babs
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
some really great ideas here too Babs:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)
D
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)
D
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Dee had some great suggestions babs.
I had the same fears when I'd been avoiding some friends, and once sober for a while was invited to a campout. This is a group of like 30 friends wo ho I've known for years and they like to party. I used to drink with them a lot. I was pretty worried about this campout. Worried they'd ask me why I was t drinking, worried they would try to "make" me drink, worried I'd look dumb, worried I'd miss drinking again, worried I WOULD drink again you name it.
But I wanted to see these girls, so just like what dee said here I made a plan.
Turned out I didn't really need the plan, except it made me feel prepared. Most of my friends didn't care. We're all middle aged now half of them hardly drink anymore and the other half maybe never did drink the way I thought they did... the way I used to drink.
One of those folks is my ex, and she still hasn't really asked me why I don't drink. They just all kind of accept it. Nobody cared. That was a very pleasant surprise. I've never had an issue hanging out with these ladies since and it's been a few years now.
You'll do great. Make a plan for your peace of mind. You probably won't even. See it, but it'll help you feel ok. Getting sober doesn't mean giving up your life, or giving up on having a good time. It just means giving up booze and changing how you think about alcohol. You still get to have friends and fun.
Then go have a good time!
I had the same fears when I'd been avoiding some friends, and once sober for a while was invited to a campout. This is a group of like 30 friends wo ho I've known for years and they like to party. I used to drink with them a lot. I was pretty worried about this campout. Worried they'd ask me why I was t drinking, worried they would try to "make" me drink, worried I'd look dumb, worried I'd miss drinking again, worried I WOULD drink again you name it.
But I wanted to see these girls, so just like what dee said here I made a plan.
Turned out I didn't really need the plan, except it made me feel prepared. Most of my friends didn't care. We're all middle aged now half of them hardly drink anymore and the other half maybe never did drink the way I thought they did... the way I used to drink.
One of those folks is my ex, and she still hasn't really asked me why I don't drink. They just all kind of accept it. Nobody cared. That was a very pleasant surprise. I've never had an issue hanging out with these ladies since and it's been a few years now.
You'll do great. Make a plan for your peace of mind. You probably won't even. See it, but it'll help you feel ok. Getting sober doesn't mean giving up your life, or giving up on having a good time. It just means giving up booze and changing how you think about alcohol. You still get to have friends and fun.
Then go have a good time!
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