Class of March 2016 part 57
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Good morning everyone. Phoenix...your posts always help and inspire me to keep fighting. Thanks for that!
***CASEY***: if you're reading this...I understand why you run away because as you know...I am also a runner. When I fall (slip up & drink again) my very first thought is to run away as fast as I can. I feel so much shame, guilt, embarrassment etc. I feel self-hatred. It's an awful feeling! But one thing I am starting to learn is "I" am my harshest critic! The things I say to myself I wouldn't say to a complete stranger! Why do I treat myself that way? Why do I carry so much shame & self-hatred? For ME it's because I was always told I was a worthless piece of shite when I was 0-18 years old and it's still "implied" to this day by my mother. It's damage that goes so deep that it has actually made me BELIEVE it's true!
BUT here's the thing...God (your higher power/the universe) doesn't make junk! We are here for a reason! We are perfectly created for a reason. I'm learning to not only UN-do all the damage but to RE-parent myself and love myself. Why? Because I am worth it! YES...I have made a complete a-ss of myself on here at times. YES I have run away a dozen times. But the thing is....I wasn't really running from what YOU guys thought about me (because you have all loved me unconditionally) I was running from ME and the LIES that some monster told me years ago when I was an innocent child.
We can learn to love ourselves and give ourselves what we deserve! We don't need to runaway anymore! One thing I have realized is that every single person in our March class cares about me & loves me and I love them! I don't judge THEM when they fall so why should I judge MYSELF? Aren't we worthy of unconditional support & love?
Did you know that almost 90% of all alcoholics NEVER get help or ever try to stop??? And look at US! We are fighting! We are not giving up! We are helping others even as we go through deep pain "ourselves". We are good people! We should be proud of ourselves.
You see....I would NEVER look at you in a bad way....what I see is a super nice, funny, smart, hard working guy who would do anything for anyone. Every time you post I feel like you care about me. I need to know people care about me because all too often that little voice in my head tells me I'm a worthless piece of shite. That voice needs to shut the heck up!
I don't know if you had a slip and drank again, but you're not here and I miss you. Our class is not the same without you. You are like a brother to all of us and we don't leave our brothers behind!
Who knows, maybe you are on a really cool vacation somewhere and I typed all this up. Ha! But it's ok because through typing this up I learned something. I learned that I need to start treating MYSELF with the same patience, tolerance, kindness & unconditional love as I do others because I am down right MEAN to myself sometimes.
We love you Casey. Check in please.
***CASEY***: if you're reading this...I understand why you run away because as you know...I am also a runner. When I fall (slip up & drink again) my very first thought is to run away as fast as I can. I feel so much shame, guilt, embarrassment etc. I feel self-hatred. It's an awful feeling! But one thing I am starting to learn is "I" am my harshest critic! The things I say to myself I wouldn't say to a complete stranger! Why do I treat myself that way? Why do I carry so much shame & self-hatred? For ME it's because I was always told I was a worthless piece of shite when I was 0-18 years old and it's still "implied" to this day by my mother. It's damage that goes so deep that it has actually made me BELIEVE it's true!
BUT here's the thing...God (your higher power/the universe) doesn't make junk! We are here for a reason! We are perfectly created for a reason. I'm learning to not only UN-do all the damage but to RE-parent myself and love myself. Why? Because I am worth it! YES...I have made a complete a-ss of myself on here at times. YES I have run away a dozen times. But the thing is....I wasn't really running from what YOU guys thought about me (because you have all loved me unconditionally) I was running from ME and the LIES that some monster told me years ago when I was an innocent child.
We can learn to love ourselves and give ourselves what we deserve! We don't need to runaway anymore! One thing I have realized is that every single person in our March class cares about me & loves me and I love them! I don't judge THEM when they fall so why should I judge MYSELF? Aren't we worthy of unconditional support & love?
Did you know that almost 90% of all alcoholics NEVER get help or ever try to stop??? And look at US! We are fighting! We are not giving up! We are helping others even as we go through deep pain "ourselves". We are good people! We should be proud of ourselves.
You see....I would NEVER look at you in a bad way....what I see is a super nice, funny, smart, hard working guy who would do anything for anyone. Every time you post I feel like you care about me. I need to know people care about me because all too often that little voice in my head tells me I'm a worthless piece of shite. That voice needs to shut the heck up!
I don't know if you had a slip and drank again, but you're not here and I miss you. Our class is not the same without you. You are like a brother to all of us and we don't leave our brothers behind!
Who knows, maybe you are on a really cool vacation somewhere and I typed all this up. Ha! But it's ok because through typing this up I learned something. I learned that I need to start treating MYSELF with the same patience, tolerance, kindness & unconditional love as I do others because I am down right MEAN to myself sometimes.
We love you Casey. Check in please.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Ugh. The first thing I want to do when I get angry is drink!!! A friend of mine has a daughter that is being severely bullied (she's only 15) and someone sent her a message over the weekend telling her to kill herself because no one would miss her or care!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE KIDS? Have they no heart???
I am NOT drinking today! I just went in my basement, put on boxing gloves and beat the shite out of our punching bag while screaming & cussing at it! Then I did 3 downward dogs (a yoga pose my therapist said helps) and journaled. I'm so disgusted at society these days. God help us ALL!
Just needed to vent.
I am NOT drinking today! I just went in my basement, put on boxing gloves and beat the shite out of our punching bag while screaming & cussing at it! Then I did 3 downward dogs (a yoga pose my therapist said helps) and journaled. I'm so disgusted at society these days. God help us ALL!
Just needed to vent.
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by KiKi0615 
Ugh. The first thing I want to do when I get angry is drink!!! A friend of mine has a daughter that is being severely bullied (she's only 15) and someone sent her a message over the weekend telling her to kill herself because no one would miss her or care!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE KIDS? Have they no heart???
I am NOT drinking today! I just went in my basement, put on boxing gloves and beat the shite out of our punching bag while screaming & cussing at it! Then I did 3 downward dogs (a yoga pose my therapist said helps) and journaled. I'm so disgusted at society these days. God help us ALL!
Just needed to vent.
I am NOT drinking today! I just went in my basement, put on boxing gloves and beat the shite out of our punching bag while screaming & cussing at it! Then I did 3 downward dogs (a yoga pose my therapist said helps) and journaled. I'm so disgusted at society these days. God help us ALL!
Just needed to vent.
We aren't kids any more though and we aren't powerless. As adults, we can think through how to take control of the situation and our emotions.
Hold that parents hand because she is probably very worried, go with her to talk to the principal, invite the family over and tell that child how loved she is, keep shining the light on the darkness of the Internet....talk with other parents about how to stop this bully....etc. I don't know the exact answer, but I hope I'm making sense.
Do something positive, even if it's just a little thing, instead of burying rage or drinking..neither of which change anything.
So... Kiki is there anything you can do so that by the end of the week she is going to be very sorry she said such an awful thing? Go help that parent take action. Parent...principal....letter to PTA...in that order.
Sorry if I'm coming across preachy - I just hate to see a bully win at anything.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,197
Checking in. Home safe and sound and empty handed. Always a win.
Hey Caramel and Purplrks!
Kiki - sorry to hear about your friends child. Breaks my heart. I do love LG's advice - parents, principal, PTA. Hugs.
Well another boring night ahead (not complaining) I have to plan an appreciation week at work that's coming up soon. Need a theme (I'm thinking retro flashback) and then some ideas to go along with it daily. Maybe I'll work on that.
Hope you're all doing alright. Check in if you haven't. No matter where you are in terms of sobriety, we are stronger together. ❤️
Hey Caramel and Purplrks!
Kiki - sorry to hear about your friends child. Breaks my heart. I do love LG's advice - parents, principal, PTA. Hugs.
Well another boring night ahead (not complaining) I have to plan an appreciation week at work that's coming up soon. Need a theme (I'm thinking retro flashback) and then some ideas to go along with it daily. Maybe I'll work on that.
Hope you're all doing alright. Check in if you haven't. No matter where you are in terms of sobriety, we are stronger together. ❤️
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 135
Hugs, Phoenix
Nice job on 60, Pel!
That ribeye sounds good BBG! I have one in my fridge but was too lazy to cook it today, it's on the menu for tomorrow
My son and I came down with colds, yuck. No fun. So we have been resting all day and just feeling crummy. I skipped my group therapy too. Hopefully tomorrow is better.
Stay sober everyone! Drinking is dumb!!
Nice job on 60, Pel!
That ribeye sounds good BBG! I have one in my fridge but was too lazy to cook it today, it's on the menu for tomorrow
My son and I came down with colds, yuck. No fun. So we have been resting all day and just feeling crummy. I skipped my group therapy too. Hopefully tomorrow is better.
Stay sober everyone! Drinking is dumb!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,910
Me again! Having some startin' fluid & I guess I should pay some attention to Irma heading in this direction.....apparently it's been a madhouse trying to get anywhere ~ store shelves are empty & cars are lined up at gas pumps.....this area has been extremely lucky over the years.....whenever this happens I can't help but think maybe it's our turn....
Anyway, guess I should go to work! Hugs everyone....you guys are the best! "I'm feelin' the love in this room!"
Anyway, guess I should go to work! Hugs everyone....you guys are the best! "I'm feelin' the love in this room!"
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,197
Morning!!
Purplrks - awesome job last night!! Another one for the record books! Hoping the Irma diverts away from you. Stay safe ❤️
LunaB - hope you and your little one feel better quickly.
Ummm....yumm BBG!! Hope you slept well.
Well off to work. I have an impromptu day off tomorrow which I am not complaining about. Gonna just spend some quality cuddle time with Charlie. ❤️
Be back later!!
Purplrks - awesome job last night!! Another one for the record books! Hoping the Irma diverts away from you. Stay safe ❤️
LunaB - hope you and your little one feel better quickly.
Ummm....yumm BBG!! Hope you slept well.
Well off to work. I have an impromptu day off tomorrow which I am not complaining about. Gonna just spend some quality cuddle time with Charlie. ❤️
Be back later!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 593
Morning all!
How did I know you'd have a great time and stay sober, Purps? Because you're one of us and we can do this. Wishing you and all Floridians the best as Irma nears.
I hope you and your son feel better ASAP LunaBlue.
Have a great day everyone. I like the increasing feeling of control that sobriety provides. When I drink most everything gets sloppy, messy, left undone. Feels good this way.
How did I know you'd have a great time and stay sober, Purps? Because you're one of us and we can do this. Wishing you and all Floridians the best as Irma nears.
I hope you and your son feel better ASAP LunaBlue.
Have a great day everyone. I like the increasing feeling of control that sobriety provides. When I drink most everything gets sloppy, messy, left undone. Feels good this way.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,191
Purp you be safe!!!
Cuddling with Charlie sounds like a good day Sam. Don't work to hard today. I've told you before but not today. You work to much!!!
Pelagic I totally understand what you mean about the sloppy, messy and undone!
LunaBlue so sorry your feel bad hurts! Get better ok?
Cuddling with Charlie sounds like a good day Sam. Don't work to hard today. I've told you before but not today. You work to much!!!
Pelagic I totally understand what you mean about the sloppy, messy and undone!
LunaBlue so sorry your feel bad hurts! Get better ok?
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