Class of March 2016 part 56
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Good morning, guys! Your new place sounds really nice, Phoenix. We closed our company and lost our house a few years ago. Have been renting since. Moved 2 times in a year. Finally have all the financial crap almost back in order, hoping to move into our own home the beginning of next year. Not as many moves as you. I do understand the renting feelings.
Good morning, Samantha! Are you back in the routine yet?
Purple! Have a great day!
Great to see you 13th!
Hey - Dee!
PHX - on a St. Louis note, every kindergarten kid that attends public school visits the arch. Being the mother of 4 kids, I have been to the arch many many times. It is 5 feet taller than the Washington Monument I believe.
Have a great day everyone! Or Sweet dreams!
Good morning, Samantha! Are you back in the routine yet?
Purple! Have a great day!
Great to see you 13th!
Hey - Dee!
PHX - on a St. Louis note, every kindergarten kid that attends public school visits the arch. Being the mother of 4 kids, I have been to the arch many many times. It is 5 feet taller than the Washington Monument I believe.
Have a great day everyone! Or Sweet dreams!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Hi everyone, I'm coming back for some extra support. I missed you guys! I was doing really well but sadly, drank again yesterday. I'm not really sure what happened....I guess I just felt like "I deserved a break". I made zero effort not to drink. I also paid really close attention to what was happening. I wanted to see if I could stop drinking after 1-2 drinks if I wanted to. What I realized was that once I had that first drink in me, there was no way in hell I was gonna stop! It was like throwing myself into the strongest current in the ocean...it was gonna pull me out to sea!
I know I said in my last post in July that I wasn't sure if I was an alcoholic but I clearly AM. What I have realized in therapy is I have major trauma surrounding the word "alcoholic" dating back to when I was a little girl. (Long story) Soooo...my therapist gave me permission to never label myself that again. The bottom line is I am addicted to alcohol and can't drink or it will eventually kill me. No labels needed.
As far as therapy, it's REALLY hard but I think it is gonna be worth it! My therapist is awesome & knows what he's doing! I see him twice a week on Mondays and Fridays and we do a lot of EMDR EMDR International Association and it's really powerful. My therapist thinks I am doing awesome. I'm working REALLY hard and fighting hard to heal from my PTSD. On Friday I will need to tell him about my "relapse" and hopefully we can try to figure out what triggered it???
Anyway....I'm still fighting HARD on healing from my trauma but need to step up my game in the "alcohol addiction" issue again. I haven't been going to AA either so ALL my effort has been therapy and all the homework, exercises, journaling etc. surrounding that. I now realize that I need to focus on the trauma AND the alcohol addiction.
Anyway...I'm glad to be back. Today is day 1. Ugh. I feel like I have deja vu. How many day 1's do I need to have before I'm done?
How is everyone else??? Everyone still around and checking in? Love you guys.
I know I said in my last post in July that I wasn't sure if I was an alcoholic but I clearly AM. What I have realized in therapy is I have major trauma surrounding the word "alcoholic" dating back to when I was a little girl. (Long story) Soooo...my therapist gave me permission to never label myself that again. The bottom line is I am addicted to alcohol and can't drink or it will eventually kill me. No labels needed.
As far as therapy, it's REALLY hard but I think it is gonna be worth it! My therapist is awesome & knows what he's doing! I see him twice a week on Mondays and Fridays and we do a lot of EMDR EMDR International Association and it's really powerful. My therapist thinks I am doing awesome. I'm working REALLY hard and fighting hard to heal from my PTSD. On Friday I will need to tell him about my "relapse" and hopefully we can try to figure out what triggered it???
Anyway....I'm still fighting HARD on healing from my trauma but need to step up my game in the "alcohol addiction" issue again. I haven't been going to AA either so ALL my effort has been therapy and all the homework, exercises, journaling etc. surrounding that. I now realize that I need to focus on the trauma AND the alcohol addiction.
Anyway...I'm glad to be back. Today is day 1. Ugh. I feel like I have deja vu. How many day 1's do I need to have before I'm done?
How is everyone else??? Everyone still around and checking in? Love you guys.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,190
Originally Posted by Thirteenth 
Hello friends. Backslid on sobriety once again so starting over once again. It is what it is. I need to do more and yet I don’t. No reasonable explanation exists for the consistent waffling.
That's my feeling.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,190
Originally Posted by samantha14
On my way to work. Should be an alright day. Picking up a new car tonight so that's a little exciting. Haven't had a new, new car in a very long time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Originally Posted by beerbgone
I know exactly how you feel Thirteenth. Been there and done that! We just have to keep swinging the bat. A hit is inevitable if we just don't give up completely!
That's my feeling.
That's my feeling.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,190
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
I'm not doing "great" but hope to be soon! How's BBT? Are they making new episodes?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,671
Kiki- good for posting. PTSD sucks- I would rather have teeth pulled. Seeing a therapist is a very good idea. I often tell people not to get hung up on labels. Some, it seems to me at meetings 'hide' behind a label ;I have this disease' . as a way- I suppose of trying to come to terms with the behaviours that followed them. 'That was not me- that was my addiction'. Some define it as an allergy, an intolerance, genetic, because of trauma. Yep- get that. For me accepting the label of alcoholic means I am not fighting the main and most important fact that I CANNOT DRINK!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,479
Originally Posted by beerbgone
I know exactly how you feel Thirteenth. Been there and done that! We just have to keep swinging the bat. A hit is inevitable if we just don't give up completely!
That's my feeling.
That's my feeling.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by beerbgone
This seasons episodes are on Thursday nights here. But I like the rerun nights because there's 6 or 8 in a row. I can fall asleep watching! LOL
Funny BBG. You probably have the shows memorized by now! Lol
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