Ananda

OK steely ... now I am completely confused again

it is 5:30 pm here right now ... so a bit early for bed (wouldn't have been back when I was drinking!)

Isn't it like ... 8:30 am for you???? I don't think you are going to bed??

Ah! that is it! KEV it is about 11:30 at night where you are!!!! thus ..

GOOD NIGHT KEV .... SLEEP TIGHT ... DON'T LET THE BED BUGS BITE!!!!!!

Steely

Before I say anymore want to try to explain the dollar ornament.

My neighbour and I need to win the lottery as we are both broke, me more than her. I'm a bit of an Efron Symbolist Jnr. and saw him as a 'lucky sign'...silly I know.

Then, finding later a coin inside thought him double lucky.

Then started thinking about Greed, and though maybe he symbolised the stupidity of money in not being able to get the cash unless you break the vessel. "Capitalism contains the seeds of its own destruction...." sorta thing.

All silly stuff stuff, not the capitalism bit, and sometimes entertaining that's all.

Just my luck. insert little green laughing man.

Steely

Just to reply to your "roomie" post kev it sounds like a perfect fit. Fantastic. How exciting, everything sounds exciting. Very happy for you kev.

Steely

Oh man I think I got lost on the thread somewhere but wanted to say what an excellent post kev, you sound fantastic. And you're multi-lingual too!

But with my bent sense of humour thought maybe the intoxed rats wouldn't go directly to the alcohol because there was a meeting going on.

Steely

I'm just about to check out the links you sent Nands. Thanks for doing that, if his therapy is as good as what I believe the man himself to be I think it should be good.

Going to look at Wiki and the criticism you suggest.

Think I got myself lost in the queue so hope my posts reached you all, if for nothing more than to keep contact.

I replied to posts but think I put them in the wrong place.

Ananda

I love your capitalism quote!!!!

OK ... I just finished watering and I doubt I'll do much more than watch the news (I know I know sh.......).

What time is it steely...

(miscellaneous un related smiley attack .... duck and cover...)

Ananda

I think the critizism was fairly minor and wouldn't necessarily apply to all therapist using the technic.

I think the main thing is what you said ... "a good man". When I first saw my therapist I immediately knew that he had a gift and that he could help me.

Steely

That's the thing hey, Nands. It's that's from the heart you talk about when listening at AA. Doesn't matter what school (within reason) a person comes from it is what they contain within. How you connect.

Speaking of psychiatrists just phoned mine to apologise for "no show" and am usually filled with trepidation when having to do stuff like that. The "I've done something wrong" jitters.

Today I spoke well and strongly with him and could hear a slight surprise in his voice. I apologised but also kept myself. It was great. Rock on.

Steely

I read the wiki stuff on Frankyl and though only a limited explanation it seems pretty good. The explanation on logo therapy and schizophrenia seemed a bit simplistic given that my brother is chronic and Matt would probably outfox Frankl somehow, knowing my brother.

Have got to read your link on authoritarianism, but essentially meaning seems prime to me. It would have been prime to him given the conditions he endured.

Just got myself up of the couch and started doing some meaningful stuff around the house. Watered the plants. Housework, organising. All noble work.

And the second ornament is of this really kitch blue elephant. It's well poured.

I stand the Chinese defending ornament in front of the elephant. In defence of the elephant.

I think there was even reference to that dark place you go to and invite on in. In front of your time Nands. Must read the books.

Steely

Kenton, I would like a stuffed toy of the Pope please. All hail.

kenton

Really close call with AV last night. Didn't drink but my god I wanted to. But I didn't drink. That's the important thing. Just wrote about it on 24 hour thread
Not enough darn wifi to talk about it here. Just know i didn't drink. Love to you all xxx

Dee74

I'm really glad you got through Kenton

I never seem to notice anymore but I know it seemed like the whole world drank there for a while....

As long as we can remember that, fair or not, we're not like everyone else, and remember with nauseating clarity why we don't drink, we'll be ok

D

Ananda

Thanks for letting us know Kenton. Yeah ... sometimes it seems to suck being sober, but it only seems that way - as opposed to drinking, which doesn't just seem to suck ... it actually does!

I think one of the things about staying sober longer, for me, is that even though the call to drink comes less often... it takes me a bit off guard. I no longer expect to have that want all the time.

In certain circumstances I am likely to find a niggling of that "I wanna drink" raising up in my head. It is in my head not my heart.. I guess what is really the weird thing is that I am surprised that it can happen.

Then again ... I don't want to spend my life looking for it to come up ... that would suck. Every time I notice that the insane desire to drink has come up and then I don't drink and notice that the desire goes away, well that gives me more of an understanding that I don't have to be afraid. Just because I think something, doesn't make it true. And just because I think about something, doesn't mean I have to do it.

Course I haven't had a craving today ... so what do I really know.

Sometime after you are home and settled maybe you can share how you got through it. I always have to remember that the dignity and grace part is nice, but the only really important thing is that I walk through it.


Nands

Ananda

I had to deal with someone who appeared to be very angry yesterday. It made me think. So I sat and reflected on how I felt, how I reacted, ... just took a good look at what went on in my head...noticed patterns.

Of course my first reaction to anger is to think it is directed at me, that I did something wrong. Then I move to self defense and start wanting to "win" (what a crock!). At that point I think I did use that AA tool, restraint of tounge and pen. I still see that I have such a strong need to be right ... need to win... It seems pretty deeply imbedded. As a result, I spent a lot of time creating and recreating that person in my mind and almost missed some good times with my son and dogs... managed to stay in the here and now somewhat.

It did make me reflect on what about the idea of asking your anger to tea .... then I realized that asking it to tea is about acknowledgement and allowing that anger is a part of life. It isn't really about indulging it ... if that makes since...

when I start acting as if the anger is the true .. the one and only response... when instead of getting angry I start to BE angry ... watch out! It is a place of total unacceptance of some circumstance of my life or world and it's like I become a bit blind. Acceptance isn't really the right word ... again .. it's knowing the world and it's people are often like this ... just not letting it become some focus of vision that makes me unable to see anything but the anger with nothing to do but lash out.

I didn't really walk all that skilfully through the situation that was going on, but I did ok and learned a lot.

I really don't like interacting with people who are always angry about one thing or another. And it really frightens me when I have to be around someone who is in Rage. But from time to time I guess we all have to walk through that as cleanly as we can and then learn.

OK ... gotta do my Ajan thing... Meeting in 2 hours...

I'll keep an eye out for Steely to say goodnight.

Steely

Was just about to respond to kenton and her call with an illusion.

Hope this sends.

Steely

I try to always remember when someone else is angry, or I'm angry that its root lies in hurt. Hard to do, but true I think.

Just make sure they're not wielding a chainsaw.

Steely

Is that little emoticon guy with the instruments supposed to be a scientist? That's how I've always read him.

He was intended as a scientist.

Ananda

Post it so I can see... not sure which one you are looking at

And .... GOOOD MORRRRNING STEEEEEELY

I'm busy cleaning out all my dog stuff, trying to organize one of my closets and moping the kitchen floor. ....

Ananda

Yeah .. hurt people hurt people. I have to look for the compassion part.

Steely

Congratulation kenton, it can come so close sometimes, the illusion. I can see her now.

I've decided to call AV my Anti social Vixen who drops in uninvited with empty promises. She reminds me of those whispering nymphs that lure sailors to their deaths.

I become embarrassingly anti-social when I drink.

And she the vixen will lure me to my death. Don't wanna die that way.

So glad you got through it kenton.

I do sometimes imagine the glass of white wine in the sunlight, the beach, the picnic, the lunch, the lot, but when I think it through I can see the illusion now. And I'd be washed out to sea having been seduced. Ha!

Also reasonable for these thought to occur given the time we have spent in their nurturing. Gotta back the behaviourists, they had a lot to say.

Congrats again Kenton every time we decline we build further on the unlearning, and builds the foundations for accommodation in fun rat park.