Class of January 2017 Support Thread Part 4
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 941
Day73.
Welcome Reformation. Great to have another Januarian. Everyone on this thread has been very supportive of each other. Many of us have been in sync with our recovery. Seeing we are going through similar stuff, good and really bad, has been eye opening. Great to have you join.
I have had two days of my insomnia back again. I don't think it is booze withdrawal or chemical imbalances like before. Either way, being groggy in the morning is fine if I am hangover free. I will be fine today.
Cassandralee, I am sure you will do really well getting through your guests visit and boozy conference. From what I can tell, you are very good at planning for risky environments beforehand and and keeping on top of your feelings. We are all here when you need to yell !
NACN. 70 days. Congratulations. Sundays are hard. I spend a lot of Sunday just planning my Monday morning. Getting on top of all the house stuff is great. I am sure it is being noticed. I also feel more responsible and confident now.
Cute, I have just had my haircut or would join you in the bangs flick. We are the best class
Have a really happy & healthy sober day/night wherever you are. One more day.
Welcome Reformation. Great to have another Januarian. Everyone on this thread has been very supportive of each other. Many of us have been in sync with our recovery. Seeing we are going through similar stuff, good and really bad, has been eye opening. Great to have you join.
I have had two days of my insomnia back again. I don't think it is booze withdrawal or chemical imbalances like before. Either way, being groggy in the morning is fine if I am hangover free. I will be fine today.
Cassandralee, I am sure you will do really well getting through your guests visit and boozy conference. From what I can tell, you are very good at planning for risky environments beforehand and and keeping on top of your feelings. We are all here when you need to yell !
NACN. 70 days. Congratulations. Sundays are hard. I spend a lot of Sunday just planning my Monday morning. Getting on top of all the house stuff is great. I am sure it is being noticed. I also feel more responsible and confident now.
Cute, I have just had my haircut or would join you in the bangs flick. We are the best class
Have a really happy & healthy sober day/night wherever you are. One more day.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: NH
Posts: 374
Morning all!
Firstly, congratulation to NACN on 70 days! TEN WEEKS. That is great. [I think I missed your ten week milestone NLB! Sorry about that.]
I did see the doctor yesterday. Last week I was desperate to change my appointment to get in earlier as I was flagging badly and feeling really low. It was definitely good to see him but I have really feel so much better there was no real immediate need.
He confirmed a lot of the things we have been discussing here. The protracted withdrawal symptoms for heavy drinkers are very real. It really does take weeks for any "normalcy" to return physically and emotionally.
Without wanting to excuse my behavior, it is little wonder that I couldn't go more than a few days without a drink! In recent years I was able to limit myself to bingeing at the weekend heavily and then "drying out" during the week. I always desperately "needed" to drink at the weekend because I still felt like sh*t. I stupidly thought this was just how I was or "weakness." Now its painfully that this was all consistent with being physically dependent on alcohol. Its painfully obvious that much of the psychological "need" was a product of the physical dependency. We shall see, but my current feeling is that all of my problems with anxiety and depression over the years have been caused by active alcoholism. Duh!
I also asked my doctor about the disease progression of alcoholism. I always thought alcoholism was progressive in the sense that it wore down the person's will until they gave up. I didn't really realize that constant intoxication and withdrawal creates permanent changes in the body and its relationship with alcohol. [This is known as alcoholic kindling --- something else I have been sadly ignorant about for many years.] In short your body stops seeing alcohol as a dangerous poison and starts accepting/ craving it as medicine. I couldn't understand why I would get awful hangovers from just 6-7 beers on a Friday night but that is because my body was screaming for more alcohol. On Saturday, I could drink far, far more with comparatively little ill-effect because my body was "rewarding me" for keeping the booze coming. My doctor also suggested that the weekly binge/ abstinence cycle is worse for you than everyday drinking because it may accelerate the kindling effect. I thought I had been doing well over the last 6 or 7 years in limiting myself mostly to the weekends. But evidently the dependency was still growing quietly in the background. That's probably why the "need" to drink in the mornings was returning quite strongly and everything was set to spiral out of control again. Again, duh!
Other than that, I'm keeping my recovery right in the front of my mind in a way I have never really done before, though the obsession with alcohol has miraculously evaporated for now. I guess feeling confident is a new danger, and a new stage in recovery that needs to be analyzed and treated with caution.
Anyway, that was a long and serious post. It helps to write this stuff down to clarify to myself so here it is.
It is a snow day here, so maybe I'll check back later with something a bit more chatty and a hairflip or two to lighten the tone!
Keep going classmates!
Firstly, congratulation to NACN on 70 days! TEN WEEKS. That is great. [I think I missed your ten week milestone NLB! Sorry about that.]
I did see the doctor yesterday. Last week I was desperate to change my appointment to get in earlier as I was flagging badly and feeling really low. It was definitely good to see him but I have really feel so much better there was no real immediate need.
He confirmed a lot of the things we have been discussing here. The protracted withdrawal symptoms for heavy drinkers are very real. It really does take weeks for any "normalcy" to return physically and emotionally.
Without wanting to excuse my behavior, it is little wonder that I couldn't go more than a few days without a drink! In recent years I was able to limit myself to bingeing at the weekend heavily and then "drying out" during the week. I always desperately "needed" to drink at the weekend because I still felt like sh*t. I stupidly thought this was just how I was or "weakness." Now its painfully that this was all consistent with being physically dependent on alcohol. Its painfully obvious that much of the psychological "need" was a product of the physical dependency. We shall see, but my current feeling is that all of my problems with anxiety and depression over the years have been caused by active alcoholism. Duh!
I also asked my doctor about the disease progression of alcoholism. I always thought alcoholism was progressive in the sense that it wore down the person's will until they gave up. I didn't really realize that constant intoxication and withdrawal creates permanent changes in the body and its relationship with alcohol. [This is known as alcoholic kindling --- something else I have been sadly ignorant about for many years.] In short your body stops seeing alcohol as a dangerous poison and starts accepting/ craving it as medicine. I couldn't understand why I would get awful hangovers from just 6-7 beers on a Friday night but that is because my body was screaming for more alcohol. On Saturday, I could drink far, far more with comparatively little ill-effect because my body was "rewarding me" for keeping the booze coming. My doctor also suggested that the weekly binge/ abstinence cycle is worse for you than everyday drinking because it may accelerate the kindling effect. I thought I had been doing well over the last 6 or 7 years in limiting myself mostly to the weekends. But evidently the dependency was still growing quietly in the background. That's probably why the "need" to drink in the mornings was returning quite strongly and everything was set to spiral out of control again. Again, duh!
Other than that, I'm keeping my recovery right in the front of my mind in a way I have never really done before, though the obsession with alcohol has miraculously evaporated for now. I guess feeling confident is a new danger, and a new stage in recovery that needs to be analyzed and treated with caution.
Anyway, that was a long and serious post. It helps to write this stuff down to clarify to myself so here it is.
It is a snow day here, so maybe I'll check back later with something a bit more chatty and a hairflip or two to lighten the tone!
Keep going classmates!
The best way out is through -- Robert Frost
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: This miraculous world!
Posts: 68
I'll be back for more detailed discussion -- lots of exciting events going on for our Class of January 2017 -- but I have super curly ringlets and wanted to add some bouncy hairflips and boings to our salute!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 941
Day74.
Thanks MrM. That was very interesting. Thank you for sharing that. It wasn't too long but concise and helps a lot.
I didn't know about "alcohol kindling" but, like you, always wondered why some days I could have just a bottle of wine and few beers & feel terrible the next day. But then drink literally solidly, all day and night and feel fine. I often wonder if there is a relationship between brain chemistry, depression and long term heavy drinking.
Either way, all that negative, chaotic sh*t is long out of my system. Being in this routine has allowed my life and body to start to repair and I want to see where the journey takes me. I know we are are working so hard , investing in our recoveries. I am thankful that I am one of those that have been able to remain with our January class. Hopefully some of our other friends come back when ready.
This week is going relatively well so far. My emotions are in check. I did get just a bit of my AV yesterday when some work stuff went well and the idea of " I should celebrate with a drink" came to mind.
I was able to focus and remember what was really going on and what the consequences would be, my AV gave up really quickly. It was an easy one. When I think back to some of the, almost tearful, shall-I-drink, or shouldn't-I-drink, battles of will I had in January, I have come a long way.
Have a calm, rewarding, healthy and sober day classmates. One more day.
Thanks MrM. That was very interesting. Thank you for sharing that. It wasn't too long but concise and helps a lot.
I didn't know about "alcohol kindling" but, like you, always wondered why some days I could have just a bottle of wine and few beers & feel terrible the next day. But then drink literally solidly, all day and night and feel fine. I often wonder if there is a relationship between brain chemistry, depression and long term heavy drinking.
Either way, all that negative, chaotic sh*t is long out of my system. Being in this routine has allowed my life and body to start to repair and I want to see where the journey takes me. I know we are are working so hard , investing in our recoveries. I am thankful that I am one of those that have been able to remain with our January class. Hopefully some of our other friends come back when ready.
This week is going relatively well so far. My emotions are in check. I did get just a bit of my AV yesterday when some work stuff went well and the idea of " I should celebrate with a drink" came to mind.
I was able to focus and remember what was really going on and what the consequences would be, my AV gave up really quickly. It was an easy one. When I think back to some of the, almost tearful, shall-I-drink, or shouldn't-I-drink, battles of will I had in January, I have come a long way.
Have a calm, rewarding, healthy and sober day classmates. One more day.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 354
Hi everybody. It has been spring break and have been away at a chalet, skiing and ice skating. Had no wi fi. Was a challenge for us all dealing with no technology for a week!
Needachangenow, I hear you with regard to the snow. Had a missive snowfall here yesterday. So no school again today. Snow days used to also be a day of an excuse to drink. Then again, every day and any excuse was a reason for me to drink! How I drank 2-3 bottles of wine a day I will never know. Lots of love to you all and congratulations on everybody clocking up those days. 24 more!
Needachangenow, I hear you with regard to the snow. Had a missive snowfall here yesterday. So no school again today. Snow days used to also be a day of an excuse to drink. Then again, every day and any excuse was a reason for me to drink! How I drank 2-3 bottles of wine a day I will never know. Lots of love to you all and congratulations on everybody clocking up those days. 24 more!
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: NH
Posts: 374
Originally Posted by Kimmy2002 
Day 48 here. I noticed I had put the wrong day count for myself a week or so ago. Added days on where I should not have. Sorry about that. ❤️
I had my count wrong and actually got to add a day a little while back. Kinda silly but I was delighted when I found out.
Hope you aren't too bummed by losing a couple. It is only numbers. On the up side you get to celebrate 49 days (seven weeks) tomorrow and then the next day it is 50!
Hope everyone is doing well today.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: East Coast
Posts: 20
(60 Days)This past January I quit drinking. It’s been two months today and I don't miss it. There was never an incident that brought me here, other than feeling like drinking everyday wasn’t doing anything good for me. It cost me money, caused arguments, made me tired, unhealthy and lazy. The only benefit, if you would even call it that, was one to two hours of detachment from life’s problems. But, that was followed by more problems the next day when I’m trying to pick myself back up. It’s much easier to face each day with a clear head. I’m looking forward to making this work for good.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 928
Hello folks. Welcome newcomers. Haven't checked in in a while.
Just lying in bed and my AV is acting up, first time in a few days. Figure I better say something. Trying to get to sleep but having some trouble.
Anyway, I'll post more tomorrow. I need to catch up with what's going on in here.
Just lying in bed and my AV is acting up, first time in a few days. Figure I better say something. Trying to get to sleep but having some trouble.
Anyway, I'll post more tomorrow. I need to catch up with what's going on in here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 941
Day75.
Great to see you back Bluedog & Kimmy and doing well.
Welcome Soberlvn and congrats on your major milestone. January '17 has been such a supportive SR class for me and a major part of keeping my routine on track. I hope you will find it as helpful. People are super nice on this thread.
So the unexpected return of my insomnia seems to have waned, for a few nights at least. Last night I was out for majority of the evening. It is probably connected to early morning exercise before work. I am still groggy but thankfully hangover free and keen to take on the day.
One interesting thing yesterday, which I am sure many SR folks have dealt with, but I haven't yet ...Mouthwash with alcohol. I just randomly picked up another brand at the supermarket. I have typically always bought non-alcohol for a few different reasons.
Yesterday, getting ready for work, my mouth felt like I was rolling a shot of booze round my mouth, after so long and not expecting it.
It made me think, to many people, this harmless mistake might be a trigger. We all know how close to the line we are sometimes. Obviously I threw it out and bought my regular brand but I can see how something as harmless as an unexpected mouthful of mint alcohol, to people like us, might lead to screaming AV's or worse.
Have a great day Januarians. I am off to suffer through some much needed exercise. One more day !
Great to see you back Bluedog & Kimmy and doing well.
Welcome Soberlvn and congrats on your major milestone. January '17 has been such a supportive SR class for me and a major part of keeping my routine on track. I hope you will find it as helpful. People are super nice on this thread.
So the unexpected return of my insomnia seems to have waned, for a few nights at least. Last night I was out for majority of the evening. It is probably connected to early morning exercise before work. I am still groggy but thankfully hangover free and keen to take on the day.
One interesting thing yesterday, which I am sure many SR folks have dealt with, but I haven't yet ...Mouthwash with alcohol. I just randomly picked up another brand at the supermarket. I have typically always bought non-alcohol for a few different reasons.
Yesterday, getting ready for work, my mouth felt like I was rolling a shot of booze round my mouth, after so long and not expecting it.
It made me think, to many people, this harmless mistake might be a trigger. We all know how close to the line we are sometimes. Obviously I threw it out and bought my regular brand but I can see how something as harmless as an unexpected mouthful of mint alcohol, to people like us, might lead to screaming AV's or worse.
Have a great day Januarians. I am off to suffer through some much needed exercise. One more day !
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 74
I am still away on my work conference, and I've just got back to my room after a big work dinner/awards and plenty of drunk co-workers! This has been quite a hard couple of days... I didn't have any cravings but I felt left-out being sober and like a fish out of water. But thinking about it further, I might not have had actual cravings yet my AV voice was talking away to me, and I found myself thinking that maybe in a few months time, I can have a couple of drinks again..
The group of colleagues I was seated with were all drinking wine/beer/spirits and cocktails. I had a lovely mock-tail and then onto the sparkling water. I never used to look forward to the dinner coming out, but tonight I couldn't wait to eat and enjoy the food. That was actually a really nice change. There were a few awkward moments last night and tonight where I have been asked why I'm not drinking. I kept it casual and just said I'm on a health kick and I'm feeling so good lately that I might not go back to drinking. There were a few big laughs when I said that, because I've always been the drunk entertainment at past events. Not any more though, I'm very proud to say.
So I snuck out of the after-party an hour ago. I'm sure they won't even notice I'm missing. I was getting really tired and also it was boring listening to the drunk talk. I'm back in my room now and in my pj's and about to head off to sleep soon. I can't wait to wake up sober again.
The group of colleagues I was seated with were all drinking wine/beer/spirits and cocktails. I had a lovely mock-tail and then onto the sparkling water. I never used to look forward to the dinner coming out, but tonight I couldn't wait to eat and enjoy the food. That was actually a really nice change. There were a few awkward moments last night and tonight where I have been asked why I'm not drinking. I kept it casual and just said I'm on a health kick and I'm feeling so good lately that I might not go back to drinking. There were a few big laughs when I said that, because I've always been the drunk entertainment at past events. Not any more though, I'm very proud to say.
So I snuck out of the after-party an hour ago. I'm sure they won't even notice I'm missing. I was getting really tired and also it was boring listening to the drunk talk. I'm back in my room now and in my pj's and about to head off to sleep soon. I can't wait to wake up sober again.
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