One Year and Under Club Part 57
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 973
Hey there PhoenixJ! I smiled when I finally had the courage to come back here and saw your avatar on the thread (and weekenders for that matter-lol)! Promise I'm not trying to follow you around 
but its always good to run into you 
Good Morning everyone!
but its always good to run into you Good Morning everyone!
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
We are having a family games night at my daughter's tomorrow night, and it has occurred to me that I would have been the only drinker there. I would have defiantly drank anyway, because hey - I was a drinker! lol It is such a relief to know I will not have to hide how much I am drinking or trying not to show how drunk I am getting. There was a time back in early drinking days when I would drink to fit in. Now I will fit in by not drinking. I love my sober life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 473
Good Morning Undies!
It's disturbing that you can build up so much sober time and still consider drinking as an option in unguarded moments.
I watched a rerun of the original "trainspotting" the other night and whilst the depiction of coke, heroin and other drug taking is horrifying, the fact that you can walk into almost any grocery store, supermarket or off-licence and buy a life destroying supply of legal high in a bottle or can is just as bad.
Nine months sober and I still have my moments. The line between maintaining sobriety and going back to drinking; abdicating responsibility and settling for second best, is a fine one.
In the beginning, I drank because it was fun. It was fun, wasn't it?
I'm beginning to question some of my very strongly held beliefs.
For example, that meeting people in bars and buying rounds was the "normal" thing to do. That drinking with people that you'd never normally socialise with without a drink in your hand was perfectly acceptable. All those days and nights spent sitting in a pub amid conversations I can not recall. Was it normal to do that? At the time I thought it was perfectly reasonable. It turns out that I only saw life through the bottom of a glass because that's how I thought it was supposed to be. The people I met were the same as me, all looking for something they couldn't find in their empty, vacuous, real life.
Heading for the bar on my own whilst waiting for a train at the age of 24. Was that normal? Do normal people do that? Slipping out to the pub every single night because staying in on my own was too painful to contemplate at the age of 28. Standing at the bar and drinking by my solitary self, passing pleasantries with the bar staff and anyone that cared to join me.
It wasn't "normal" was it? Somehow I got into a lifestyle where everything revolved around drink. When I tried to stop, it was too late, addiction had me in its grasp.
The addiction is the real horror story of all of this. An alcoholic is thought of as someone who has no will power, no self-control. But alcohol addiction is a powerful draw, combined with the ease with which it is obtainable and the social acceptance that goes with it.
Stargazer mentioned once before how people seek out drinking partners to justify their own drinking. Once you get to the point where you don't need drinking buddies you need help.
I never considered myself an alcoholic, because I didn't drink all day every day. But what I've learnt about addiction is that cutting down or abstaining for short periods makes the addiction worse, not better. The only long term viable solution is sobriety.
I wear my sobriety like a badge of honour. Not something to be ashamed of or hidden from people. I overcame a chronic drinking problem, which many people would consider normal and nothing to worry about. But I know different.
Alcohol addiction is socially acceptable. I have managers emailing me saying they are off to get drunk on a Friday night. As a society, we are broken where alcohol is concerned.
I don't crave a drink anymore, but I've been conditioned all my life to think it's the normal thing to do. Trying to teach your brain that alcohol is not the answer to everything is a long process.
I don't want to drink again, but it's so damn easy to succumb. That's the frightening thing.
Have a great day everyone!
It's disturbing that you can build up so much sober time and still consider drinking as an option in unguarded moments.
I watched a rerun of the original "trainspotting" the other night and whilst the depiction of coke, heroin and other drug taking is horrifying, the fact that you can walk into almost any grocery store, supermarket or off-licence and buy a life destroying supply of legal high in a bottle or can is just as bad.
Nine months sober and I still have my moments. The line between maintaining sobriety and going back to drinking; abdicating responsibility and settling for second best, is a fine one.
In the beginning, I drank because it was fun. It was fun, wasn't it?
I'm beginning to question some of my very strongly held beliefs.
For example, that meeting people in bars and buying rounds was the "normal" thing to do. That drinking with people that you'd never normally socialise with without a drink in your hand was perfectly acceptable. All those days and nights spent sitting in a pub amid conversations I can not recall. Was it normal to do that? At the time I thought it was perfectly reasonable. It turns out that I only saw life through the bottom of a glass because that's how I thought it was supposed to be. The people I met were the same as me, all looking for something they couldn't find in their empty, vacuous, real life.
Heading for the bar on my own whilst waiting for a train at the age of 24. Was that normal? Do normal people do that? Slipping out to the pub every single night because staying in on my own was too painful to contemplate at the age of 28. Standing at the bar and drinking by my solitary self, passing pleasantries with the bar staff and anyone that cared to join me.
It wasn't "normal" was it? Somehow I got into a lifestyle where everything revolved around drink. When I tried to stop, it was too late, addiction had me in its grasp.
The addiction is the real horror story of all of this. An alcoholic is thought of as someone who has no will power, no self-control. But alcohol addiction is a powerful draw, combined with the ease with which it is obtainable and the social acceptance that goes with it.
Stargazer mentioned once before how people seek out drinking partners to justify their own drinking. Once you get to the point where you don't need drinking buddies you need help.
I never considered myself an alcoholic, because I didn't drink all day every day. But what I've learnt about addiction is that cutting down or abstaining for short periods makes the addiction worse, not better. The only long term viable solution is sobriety.
I wear my sobriety like a badge of honour. Not something to be ashamed of or hidden from people. I overcame a chronic drinking problem, which many people would consider normal and nothing to worry about. But I know different.
Alcohol addiction is socially acceptable. I have managers emailing me saying they are off to get drunk on a Friday night. As a society, we are broken where alcohol is concerned.
I don't crave a drink anymore, but I've been conditioned all my life to think it's the normal thing to do. Trying to teach your brain that alcohol is not the answer to everything is a long process.
I don't want to drink again, but it's so damn easy to succumb. That's the frightening thing.
Have a great day everyone!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 6,869
It felt good to read your wonderful post Kopfan this morning.
It’s very well written by the way, you are very talented with a pen.
I will soon reach 2 months of sobriety (tomorrow) and I found myself making the mistake of believing that I was healed yesterday, that it was not that bad to drink.
I was in my car in the afternoon and I passed in front of a SAQ (SAQ are our liquor stores in Quebec)
I had a super craving for a few seconds and I barely made it.
It was very hard not to stop. I did it and went my way to the grocery store that was my destination at the start.
I felt ashamed of myself for a few hours after, a very unpleasant feeling.
I still crave a drink because, as you say, I’ve been conditioned to think it's the normal thing to do. Trying to teach my brain that alcohol is not the answer to everything is not a totally successful process for me so far.
I have to fight, to “decide” it’s not OK to drink and work against that addict voice screaming in me.
I must not forget where I come from, the cul-de-sac in which I was barely surviving at the end, my life had become a hell.
I’m back on my feet more than ever this Sunday morning because of you even if you are a total stranger.
Merci beaucoup!
It’s very well written by the way, you are very talented with a pen.
I will soon reach 2 months of sobriety (tomorrow) and I found myself making the mistake of believing that I was healed yesterday, that it was not that bad to drink.
I was in my car in the afternoon and I passed in front of a SAQ (SAQ are our liquor stores in Quebec)
I had a super craving for a few seconds and I barely made it.
It was very hard not to stop. I did it and went my way to the grocery store that was my destination at the start.
I felt ashamed of myself for a few hours after, a very unpleasant feeling.
I still crave a drink because, as you say, I’ve been conditioned to think it's the normal thing to do. Trying to teach my brain that alcohol is not the answer to everything is not a totally successful process for me so far.
I have to fight, to “decide” it’s not OK to drink and work against that addict voice screaming in me.
I must not forget where I come from, the cul-de-sac in which I was barely surviving at the end, my life had become a hell.
I’m back on my feet more than ever this Sunday morning because of you even if you are a total stranger.
Merci beaucoup!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,672
Kofpan- you show yourself to have honour.
Koala- just barely , that takes real strength of character. Good for you. Success is measured by what we do- not what we think. We are all judged- by ourselves and others- by action. The only one who truly knows my thoughts (such as they are) is me. Keep on- it is a struggle yes.
Tom- yes, time is a precious commodity and the only standard we have for it is now.
Be mindful in your lives me and non me people.
Koala- just barely , that takes real strength of character. Good for you. Success is measured by what we do- not what we think. We are all judged- by ourselves and others- by action. The only one who truly knows my thoughts (such as they are) is me. Keep on- it is a struggle yes.
Tom- yes, time is a precious commodity and the only standard we have for it is now.
Be mindful in your lives me and non me people.
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
Morning Undies
Congratulations Babs & Kopfan on your Milestones!!
Stargazer - thanks for the heads up on the free viewing of Risky Drinking. I don't subscribe to HBO so I'll cue that up on Youtube later today.
Wishing everyone a Sober Sunday, take care.
Congratulations Babs & Kopfan on your Milestones!!
Stargazer - thanks for the heads up on the free viewing of Risky Drinking. I don't subscribe to HBO so I'll cue that up on Youtube later today.
Wishing everyone a Sober Sunday, take care.
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