LuLu13

Hi All, I am super cranky and irritable which I know is normal. I feel like a stay at home mom with 3 kids home on school break who are driving me crazy but it's dogs. One is sick, one is stubborn and one is hyper and into everything. Maybe I should set up craft time I am actually looking forward to going to work on Tuesday. I have been with these critters non-stop since December 23 since I had to call in last week due to my Christmas holiday binge. Just not looking forward to the embarrassment.

After being up for over 24 hours I did manage a few hours sleep. It is hard to sleep during the day with people coming and going, kids playing etc.. I need to get my schedule back to normal but that is also hard since my daughter has to sleep during the day so that really means I can't do much, no cleaning etc. I end up laying in bed reading, yelling at the dogs to be quiet, or just surfing the web.

Leshar, my daughter was very aware I had been drinking. She is truly the smartest person I know. As for head injury I think I am out of the woods, it has been almost a year. We haven't talked about it much but I know I am at the end of the line with her, if I don't succeed this time she is gone. I know her, I know her personality, she will stick to her ultimatum. I can't lose her so I will succeed. It has always been just the two of us, she has never met her father. We have always been close and it kills me I've lost that, mainly because of my drinking but also because of her very controlling boyfriend. There are resentments on both sides and it is my hope that she will join me in counselling at some point so we can address them in a healthful way. I ruined the very few precious hours I had with her on Christmas and that is tough to forgive. I never was an angry drunk but the last two months I became one.

Bob, what wisdom, thank you for the encouragement.

Ladybug, so happy to see you back too. Let's do this together. You don't want to miss seeing those beautiful children grow up!

Snooz, hope you get a bed very soon.

Suze, as always thanks for the love and support.

Croissant, always so eloquent and you tell it like it is, I truly appreciate your wisdom.

Gilmer, always so supportive and helpful. Thank you.

Dee, I don't even know what to say, you're the best.

I need to try and sleep. Me and the daughter are going grocery shopping in the morning when she gets off shift. I feel badly for her, someone called in so she was ordered in early, 12 hour shift. I said I'd do the shopping but she is very particular, LOL.

Sorry for the long post and I apologize if I missed anyone it most certainly was not intentional. What a great bunch of people with unique personalities but it so works! I will remain sober and promise to post if it gets overwhelming.

Night all!

venuscat

There is so much love, strength, commitment and support here.
Because we care about each other, and because these our our lives here....we want and deserve better.

We shall have it. We will get there together. ♥

SnoozyQ

Lulu , I understand the ultimatitum situation. Regardless , your daughter will still be there.

I wished all myy children a merry Xmas happy new year and only got response from Holly , my baby (19)

She surprised me by dropping in this morning with her lovely sweet bf Andrew .
Shaun's birthday is 26th , he said it's the best birthday he's had . They spoilt him and I love them for it. I'll have to take a pic of the kitty cushion Andrew got me, I wanted one forever.

This is what matters , our kids . I so want to live to be a nanna to my girls kids xx

SnoozyQ

I've GOT this :-)

venuscat

♥

Just love you so much Wendy.

SnoozyQ

Thanks sweetie I tried to post the cutest pic to you , but grrrrr too much data or bytes or whatever lol

SnoozyQ

THIS gives me SO. Much strength you have no idea xxx

LuLu13

Snooz, sorry you only heard from Holly but at least you have her. Glad Shaun's birthday was awesome.

I appreciate what you said about my daughter but, no, she would move out if I pick up a drink again. She makes more money than I do, has gobs in the bank, doesn't particularly enjoy living at home after owning her own home. It is hard with her schedule and she hates me when I drink. She would stick to her guns, she is fed up. I have no doubt she would text me once a day to see if I were alive and if I did not respond in a few hours she would call the police for a well being check but I know she is serious. Frankly, I admire her for that and it strengthens my resolve. She will not enable. She is the most disciplined human being I know, she just cannot wrap her head around someone being an addict. She is more than capable of surviving on her own, she bought her own home at 23 with no help. So, I have no option but to stay sober and I like that hanging over my head.

SnoozyQ

I will NEVER forget how you were there for me in Townsville. No one has ever done that for me before xxx

SnoozyQ

Oh God Lulu , she sounds exactly like my daughter Rebekah, self driven , no nonsense , annoyed when I step out of line.
She is so disciplined , so organised, so in control, none of which I am.

I wish I had her strength , she has a new Boyfriend and moved to Tasmania. All her boyfriends have been dicks , but he actually seems nice ...on the phone .....I've never met him.


It will only be on her terms, at times I feel like she is the mother and I'm the child ,

SnoozyQ

Although , when I organised for him to stay home til 12 pm on her birthday when the flowers( ballooon ) bouquet was coming he would be home . &180 later she got home to flat balloons on the doorstep .....

Sigh

LuLu13

Yes, exactly, Snooz. Mine is a cop and during my last binge I really wanted a frozen pizza. There is a store just up the road, begged her to drive me, nope. She just said if you get a DUI don't call me for bail and I know she meant it. Made it there and back safely. She graduated college early, has never tried a cigarette or pot. Did not have her first drink until college and then it was rare. She may have 6 glasses of wine per year. I told her she is addicted to exercise, which she is (about 9 to 12 hours a week of serious cardio) and she just told me an addiction to exercise won't cost her her job, touche. I hate she is smarter than I am, LOL.

Oh, and I hope Rebekah's new beau is awesome. My daughter's is a controlling, jealous you know what. I don't understand how she puts up with him. He is older, not at all attractive and my daughter is pretty darn cute. My daughter makes more money than he does and he has a 7 year old son who is a nightmare. Why someone so strong puts up with him controlling everything blows my mind. He monopolizes every second of her time when she is not working. Has no empathy for her crazy hours and schedule. Doesn't care if she gets no sleep. Ugh, I'm all wound up now, I could go on and on. He and I had a very slight falling out and he now refuses to come here, they live an hour apart. I bought him a very nice Christmas gift and his child 4, didn't even get a thank you text. My daughter swears he sent one but the phones were having trouble, don't believe it for a second.

LuLu13

Ugh, on the balloons, Snooz, that really stinks!

SnoozyQ

Omg Lulu !!! This guy is an arse . She is so smart yet why do smart people choose wankers for partners. She's clever, she's clean, this just totally blows my mind a woman like her gets with a guy with kids, who has so much influence over her.

How the **** does that even happen Lulu

LuLu13

Snooz, I have absolutely no idea. She cannot even text me when she is with him. She will try to sneak one off when he is in the bathroom then it abruptly ends and I know he came back in the room. He can do whatever he wants but she can do nothing. If she and I are out for even an hour he is texting constantly. She lies about what she is doing. He is jealous over everyone at work, she's a cop, most are males. He accuses her of cheating all the time yet I don't see how that is possible as she is always working or with him. She had to work New Years Eve, her shift doesn't start until 10:30 so she suggested they go to dinner. He said no he just wanted to go to his buddy's party and get hammered. I was on the phone with her at midnight and he didn't even text. When he finally did he just said how drunk he was and what a great time he was having, what an arse. Meanwhile she is crying to me. Great satisfaction when she sent me a text about 1:30 that he had puked all over the bathroom, felt like crap and no one knew or cared, LOL. He would never allow her to go to a party without him. Oh, and mind you this is right after she spent her two days off at a water park hotel with him and his demon spawn with completely screwed up her sleep schedule. He never, ever says thank you or does a nice thing for her. I keep telling her this is as good as it gets.

LuLu13

Night, Snooz, and we should probably stop monopolizing the board and take this to PM. It is 2:15 A.M. here and the alarm is set for 5:30. Love ya' talk soon.

SnoozyQ

Ok lovely , but I swear ...if you ask any one person about monopolising a board they wouldn't care .

Sometimes we are more desperate a nc need more help so we need to post lots . No one here ever gets angry with that . It's no t monopolising it's asking for help. There is always a reply . These people here are the most non judgemental people you will ever meet ...post a hundred times if need be xxxxxx

I

SnoozyQ

Ps , it's only 7 pm here lovely and I need my friends here x.

Love you Lulu , we can do this girlfriend xxx

venuscat

Got your back honey....right here. ♥

Dee74

My mums back to normal Snooz

It is a complete change this recovery thing - but it's a really great one. I know I look back on my deciding to be sober for good as one of those pivotal life-defining moments.

D