Class of July 2016 Support Thread Part 3
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Class of July 2016 Support Thread Part 3
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
This explains putting a youtube vid on your profile:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2899402
As many of you will know, this thread will move to our Daily Support forum at the end of this month.
We do that so that the new 'class' (August) can start a thread here in the main forum.
Nothing else will change but the location...this thread will remain alive and all of you guys are very welcome to keep posting in it
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2899402
As many of you will know, this thread will move to our Daily Support forum at the end of this month.
We do that so that the new 'class' (August) can start a thread here in the main forum.
Nothing else will change but the location...this thread will remain alive and all of you guys are very welcome to keep posting in it
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
OMG
Tried to talk to my wife. She told me that I told her on the beach trip that I had told my sponsor I was off the wagon.! Before I drank !!
I do not remember this. It's like my subconscious mind was planning to drink and I told her this. I'm so upset I don't know what to do. I've tried to call my sponsor 3-4 times. I'm worried he's got too much on him but I'm so jacked up I had to get on here and talk about this. I feel like such a loser. I hope my wife doesn't leave again over this. She says she's expecting this every 2 weeks. She wants no part of alanon so I'm just not expecting support from her. I've put her through plenty although she'll never talk about it unless she's blowing her lid.
I'm detoxing so I'm gonna have to just hide under higher power through this. I can't do this alone.
Tried to talk to my wife. She told me that I told her on the beach trip that I had told my sponsor I was off the wagon.! Before I drank !!
I do not remember this. It's like my subconscious mind was planning to drink and I told her this. I'm so upset I don't know what to do. I've tried to call my sponsor 3-4 times. I'm worried he's got too much on him but I'm so jacked up I had to get on here and talk about this. I feel like such a loser. I hope my wife doesn't leave again over this. She says she's expecting this every 2 weeks. She wants no part of alanon so I'm just not expecting support from her. I've put her through plenty although she'll never talk about it unless she's blowing her lid.
I'm detoxing so I'm gonna have to just hide under higher power through this. I can't do this alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 974
JL I think it's wonderful you give it over to God. Sounds like you are having a tough time. I know I've put my husband through hell and I don't want to hurt him anymore. I'm sorry you're detoxing. It sounds awful. Just keep at it
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Hey JL,
you need to stop catastrophising...your wife hasn't left you and your sponsor hasn't fobbed you off.
It's going to be OK
You need to forgive yourself too - you made a mistake. It happens.
Pick yourself up, put stuff in place so you can't make the same mistake again, and move on.
The best way to put your wife's mind at rest is to be the man you know you can be, JL.
D
you need to stop catastrophising...your wife hasn't left you and your sponsor hasn't fobbed you off.
It's going to be OK
You need to forgive yourself too - you made a mistake. It happens.
Pick yourself up, put stuff in place so you can't make the same mistake again, and move on.
The best way to put your wife's mind at rest is to be the man you know you can be, JL.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by JL2014 
OMG Tried to talk to my wife. She told me that I told her on the beach trip that I had told my sponsor I was off the wagon.! Before I drank !! I do not remember this. It's like my subconscious mind was planning to drink and I told her this. I'm so upset I don't know what to do. I've tried to call my sponsor 3-4 times. I'm worried he's got too much on him but I'm so jacked up I had to get on here and talk about this. I feel like such a loser. I hope my wife doesn't leave again over this. She says she's expecting this every 2 weeks. She wants no part of alanon so I'm just not expecting support from her. I've put her through plenty although she'll never talk about it unless she's blowing her lid. I'm detoxing so I'm gonna have to just hide under higher power through this. I can't do this alone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
I'm going to work the program steps and not hold off when my sponsor isn't available for a week. He's great, but he does a lot of emergency 12-step calls and some are really bad. He might have too much on him.
I'm loony right now but happens for 1-2 weeks after I stop drinking.
Since it was one event it may be better or worse, don't know.
I'm nutty as hell though.
Sorry folks
I May look at changing sponsors but I don't want to make it too weird. I don't really care. It's my life I'm fighting for here.
Booze has made me into a drama queen when I come off of it.
Thanks folks for the replies. I REALLY needed them.
That not remembering making remarks about drinking have me weirded out. Do we really get that messed up, or is it just me?
I come from an alcoholic family of people with real mental problems, so a touch of crazy may just be what it is. Not too proud of it if it is.
I'm loony right now but happens for 1-2 weeks after I stop drinking.
Since it was one event it may be better or worse, don't know.
I'm nutty as hell though.
Sorry folks
I May look at changing sponsors but I don't want to make it too weird. I don't really care. It's my life I'm fighting for here.
Booze has made me into a drama queen when I come off of it.
Thanks folks for the replies. I REALLY needed them.
That not remembering making remarks about drinking have me weirded out. Do we really get that messed up, or is it just me?
I come from an alcoholic family of people with real mental problems, so a touch of crazy may just be what it is. Not too proud of it if it is.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by JL2014
I'm going to work the program steps and not hold off when my sponsor isn't available for a week. He's great, but he does a lot of emergency 12-step calls and some are really bad. He might have too much on him. I'm loony right now but happens for 1-2 weeks after I stop drinking. Since it was one event it may be better or worse, don't know. I'm nutty as hell though. Sorry folks I May look at changing sponsors but I don't want to make it too weird. I don't really care. It's my life I'm fighting for here. Booze has made me into a drama queen when I come off of it. Thanks folks for the replies. I REALLY needed them. That not remembering making remarks about drinking have me weirded out. Do we really get that messed up, or is it just me? I come from an alcoholic family of people with real mental problems, so a touch of crazy may just be what it is. Not too proud of it if it is.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 3,233
Sunflowerlife I hope you feel better soon. I'm really glad you resisted buying alcohol at the store too!
JL I hope detox is over soon. I'm glad you are here talking things out.
I feel so much better after talking with my friend. I could have saved days of anxiety by talking to her sooner. So silly. Lesson learned. Procrastinating things like that is on a long list of things I would like to work on.
JL I hope detox is over soon. I'm glad you are here talking things out.
I feel so much better after talking with my friend. I could have saved days of anxiety by talking to her sooner. So silly. Lesson learned. Procrastinating things like that is on a long list of things I would like to work on.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by ChickChick
Sunflowerlife I hope you feel better soon. I'm really glad you resisted buying alcohol at the store too! JL I hope detox is over soon. I'm glad you are here talking things out. I feel so much better after talking with my friend. I could have saved days of anxiety by talking to her sooner. So silly. Lesson learned. Procrastinating things like that is on a long list of things I would like to work on.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hey guys! Day 23 in a little bit. I started off strong and now I'm having a flare of a chronic condition. This has been a piece of cake this time. No cravings. No desire to go to the bar. And at the same time more stress and pressure than ever. My family is nuts. If I had financial means they wouldn't even be in the picture. What a dysfunctional $#|+ show. I'm the disabled one with Major Depressive Disorder and crippling Anxiety, and I'm the sanest one in the bunch, by 100,000 miles. But I'm the one everyone points at and pins down as the problem. My father did a number on me, ruined my whole life.
I take responsibility for my drinking though.
Now it's up to me to start with 0, at 46, and get the heck away from these freaks. I have no clue how to start and I'm caught in the disability trap. I can't even work but if I could I wouldn't make much. Plus the minute I start I'll lose cash benefits and healthcare that I will 'never' be able to obtain again.
Regretting not making a move to get going in the last few months as the family has now made a bunch of rules that are not helpful and are pushing me backwards in my progress. Creating very high stress levels. I got angina yesterday. The first time ever. I thought that was for old ladies. Extremely painful.
Best friend/life partner has been in and out of the ER and hospitals more times than I can count in the last few months. The US healthcare system is garbage. Someone needs 30-60 days inpatient to get well, but the government and insurance would rather pay for a $1000 ambulance ride and a $4000 ER Visit, 10 times a month. That math does not work. The latter idea might cost $50-$100,000 today, but the cost is already $50,000 a month, ongoing, and the inpatient treatment would solve the problem.
Not to mention rude, and absolutely ignorant doctors. Google is a better source of information than the doctors. You might as well stay home, use mayoclinic.org and make your own meds from scratch.
Drug prices too. I just got a script for the flare in my condition, $1,440. Yes. That's the private pay cost. So without insurance you'll just have to die. Insurance payment $138, no copay. So no outrageous markup there at all.
Anyway, enough crying from me. Keep it up and I'll be back. It's late and I'm tired.
Let's rock folks!
I take responsibility for my drinking though.
Now it's up to me to start with 0, at 46, and get the heck away from these freaks. I have no clue how to start and I'm caught in the disability trap. I can't even work but if I could I wouldn't make much. Plus the minute I start I'll lose cash benefits and healthcare that I will 'never' be able to obtain again.
Regretting not making a move to get going in the last few months as the family has now made a bunch of rules that are not helpful and are pushing me backwards in my progress. Creating very high stress levels. I got angina yesterday. The first time ever. I thought that was for old ladies. Extremely painful.
Best friend/life partner has been in and out of the ER and hospitals more times than I can count in the last few months. The US healthcare system is garbage. Someone needs 30-60 days inpatient to get well, but the government and insurance would rather pay for a $1000 ambulance ride and a $4000 ER Visit, 10 times a month. That math does not work. The latter idea might cost $50-$100,000 today, but the cost is already $50,000 a month, ongoing, and the inpatient treatment would solve the problem.
Not to mention rude, and absolutely ignorant doctors. Google is a better source of information than the doctors. You might as well stay home, use mayoclinic.org and make your own meds from scratch.
Drug prices too. I just got a script for the flare in my condition, $1,440. Yes. That's the private pay cost. So without insurance you'll just have to die. Insurance payment $138, no copay. So no outrageous markup there at all.
Anyway, enough crying from me. Keep it up and I'll be back. It's late and I'm tired.
Let's rock folks!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
I hope you can work things out in your favour Johnny.
It took me along time to work off my debts, and become financially independent from my family (and claim disability into the bargain) but I did it.
You can too
It took me along time to work off my debts, and become financially independent from my family (and claim disability into the bargain) but I did it.
You can too
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 39
Day 16. Really struggling with quitting smoking. Had a craving for what i thought was alcohol last night then realised it was for cigarettes, well not strictly true it was a craving for anything my mind went from alcohol, to fags, to food, to acting out in some way; just goes to show me that drinking is bit a symptom and i am on the right track with CAT counselling.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by JL2014
OMG
Tried to talk to my wife. She told me that I told her on the beach trip that I had told my sponsor I was off the wagon.! Before I drank !!
I do not remember this. It's like my subconscious mind was planning to drink and I told her this. I'm so upset I don't know what to do. I've tried to call my sponsor 3-4 times. I'm worried he's got too much on him but I'm so jacked up I had to get on here and talk about this. I feel like such a loser. I hope my wife doesn't leave again over this. She says she's expecting this every 2 weeks. She wants no part of alanon so I'm just not expecting support from her. I've put her through plenty although she'll never talk about it unless she's blowing her lid.
I'm detoxing so I'm gonna have to just hide under higher power through this. I can't do this alone.
Tried to talk to my wife. She told me that I told her on the beach trip that I had told my sponsor I was off the wagon.! Before I drank !!
I do not remember this. It's like my subconscious mind was planning to drink and I told her this. I'm so upset I don't know what to do. I've tried to call my sponsor 3-4 times. I'm worried he's got too much on him but I'm so jacked up I had to get on here and talk about this. I feel like such a loser. I hope my wife doesn't leave again over this. She says she's expecting this every 2 weeks. She wants no part of alanon so I'm just not expecting support from her. I've put her through plenty although she'll never talk about it unless she's blowing her lid.
I'm detoxing so I'm gonna have to just hide under higher power through this. I can't do this alone.
Please keep posting and we'll keep supporting...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
I never told my sponsor that I was gonna drink. I think my mind was just thinking of drinking and starting to make excuses to or something. I've flat out not wanted to drink since I went to AA and started on a program. I had missed a meeting the week before the vacation, and wasn't keeping up with reading and thinking about things. Yesterday was just crazy for me, finding that out, anyway.
I've been putting off a Thursday meeting I could've made because I'm so so tired by Thursdays. I've a hard hard job. I may try to get to it tonight after work. I just have to wait. One day at a time is working for me.
I've been putting off a Thursday meeting I could've made because I'm so so tired by Thursdays. I've a hard hard job. I may try to get to it tonight after work. I just have to wait. One day at a time is working for me.
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