Class of July 2016 Support Thread Part 3
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ny
Posts: 739
I will be right there will you guys....I will have 5 months on the 23rd. We can do this!!
I know what you mean with a husband who drinks. Although we don't keep alcohol in the house, my husband will sometimes meet friends after work or pick up beer to watch a game at home with my son.it's so annoying when he drinks but I do my best to get thru it.
Have a great evening everyone and welcome to the newcomers if I missed you xo
I know what you mean with a husband who drinks. Although we don't keep alcohol in the house, my husband will sometimes meet friends after work or pick up beer to watch a game at home with my son.it's so annoying when he drinks but I do my best to get thru it.
Have a great evening everyone and welcome to the newcomers if I missed you xo
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by JL2014 
Went to meeting . Took a white chip. It was humbling and I was sweating stinking from work. Afterwards I could breath a lot easier though. Like a weight came off of me. Don't know why. More later.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Day 23. It's inevitable that as soon as I get home from being out of town I get in a fight with my husband. Most of our fights are over our parenting styles which clash. I like to practice attachment parenting and he likes to play dictator. Well I called him out on the way he was acting (pushy and aggressive) and he turned it around on me, as usual, to make me sound delusional. I am not crazy. He was grabbing our son by the shirt and I wasn't ok with it. I don't think I should have to keep my mouth shut when I see things I don't like but apparently that's what he would prefer. So now on top of our individual therapy sessions and the couples therapy I have scheduled I need to find the time for us to meet with a family therapist so we can get on the same damn page and so he can hear it from someone other than me that 4 years olds aren't always going to listen and pushing kids around is not a good way to get them to.
I swear if I made more money I would be divorced. I just hate the thought of having to move into an apartment in a so-so part of town ( we currently rent a 3 bedroom house in a nice part of town) and that's what we would have to do to make it work on our incomes. Ugh. I just want this to get better. And of course I don't want to get a divorce.
Still sober obviously and no cravings to drink. I stuffed myself again today with food/ it's my go to when I am not drinking. I am just numbing the pain, killing the emptiness. It's never worth it. Never.
I swear if I made more money I would be divorced. I just hate the thought of having to move into an apartment in a so-so part of town ( we currently rent a 3 bedroom house in a nice part of town) and that's what we would have to do to make it work on our incomes. Ugh. I just want this to get better. And of course I don't want to get a divorce.
Still sober obviously and no cravings to drink. I stuffed myself again today with food/ it's my go to when I am not drinking. I am just numbing the pain, killing the emptiness. It's never worth it. Never.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Originally Posted by CristinaN
It's quiet here tonight. I think I'm gonna go get in my pjs and snuggle in bed with my kids. Thanks for helping me stay sober another day everyone. 
My 7 yr old is showing me mine craft designs while I nod off.
I feel a good class here !!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by JL2014
Went to meeting . Took a white chip. It was humbling and I was sweating stinking from work. Afterwards I could breath a lot easier though. Like a weight came off of me. Don't know why. More later.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by CristinaN
It's quiet here tonight. I think I'm gonna go get in my pjs and snuggle in bed with my kids. Thanks for helping me stay sober another day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 471
Hey everyone, my internet was out for a couple of days. I could read from my phone but couldn't remember my password, so I couldn't post.
I've had a bad few days. This woman at work is continuing to make trouble for me. I am trying to be the better person, keep being kind, asking her what I can do to make a change in our relationship. Partly that's because I'm afraid to lose my job, but partly it's because I'm wanting to practice good principles.
It's not working. She's telling my corporate people that I'm mean. At first she told them I am not giving her enough guidance. Today, she told the corporate training person that I am always trying to tell her what to do. I have never done anything unkind to her. Never spoken sharply or said an unkind word of any kind.
I am so sick of this. I just want to quit my job. Her former supervisor, with a different company, did quit. When she quit, she came up to this woman's desk and threw her resignation paper at her and said, "Here, I hope you're happy" and this woman thought it was funny and loves to tell the story.
I am thinking I have to go to my boss, but I don't know how that will go. I don't know if I can trust her or not. I'm at a loss.
I feel so awful. I am so tired. If I quit, I can't support my family. If I don't, I may end up getting fired. I can't live like this.
I am at the end of my rope. I came very close to drinking tonight.
I've had a bad few days. This woman at work is continuing to make trouble for me. I am trying to be the better person, keep being kind, asking her what I can do to make a change in our relationship. Partly that's because I'm afraid to lose my job, but partly it's because I'm wanting to practice good principles.
It's not working. She's telling my corporate people that I'm mean. At first she told them I am not giving her enough guidance. Today, she told the corporate training person that I am always trying to tell her what to do. I have never done anything unkind to her. Never spoken sharply or said an unkind word of any kind.
I am so sick of this. I just want to quit my job. Her former supervisor, with a different company, did quit. When she quit, she came up to this woman's desk and threw her resignation paper at her and said, "Here, I hope you're happy" and this woman thought it was funny and loves to tell the story.
I am thinking I have to go to my boss, but I don't know how that will go. I don't know if I can trust her or not. I'm at a loss.
I feel so awful. I am so tired. If I quit, I can't support my family. If I don't, I may end up getting fired. I can't live like this.
I am at the end of my rope. I came very close to drinking tonight.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 3,233
to all of you having a rough day. I'm glad to see so many posting in this class today. I'm also cuddled in bed with one of my little ones. Such precious time with them. I'm not sure I will stay awake much longer! Good night all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Oregon, West Coast, U.S.
Posts: 393
I'm here on Day 4, and I'm feeling better physically, other than the headaches and muscle pains. Oh and the extreme tiredness I am experiencing in the afternoons! But mentally, I feel all out of sorts. I literally don't know what to do with myself. How do I pass the time? How am I going to get through the weekend around stressful people? I have a toddler, my teenager is out of the country which is worrisome, and the adults around me are very confrontational. I had my intake last Friday and go for my A&D assessment on Aug. 4th. That seems far away.
The most ironic thing is...I do feel really good overall being sober...and that is a weird feeling for me. I have not been sober for most of my adult life (other than my 2 pregnancies), so I don't know how to handle the lifted mood..it's almost too much to manage, if that makes any sense. I don't know how to live day to day like this.
Hope you all are hanging in there too and feeling great sober!
The most ironic thing is...I do feel really good overall being sober...and that is a weird feeling for me. I have not been sober for most of my adult life (other than my 2 pregnancies), so I don't know how to handle the lifted mood..it's almost too much to manage, if that makes any sense. I don't know how to live day to day like this.
Hope you all are hanging in there too and feeling great sober!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 39
On Day 1 again!
Summary
Slept like crap night before, was wearing 24 hour nicotine patch, had nightmares of having to fight people and things, woke up feeling hd gone three rounds with mike tyson
Had a cigarette when was trying to quit
Went to town to collect money bank had frozen in a business account, (routine fraud check apparently as it was a large sum?!), walked across town with cash thought about going into a gambling place
Daughter had headache needed me to babysit, had argument with her (did have lovely time with grandson)
A bigger argument with her over nothing when she woke up
Had enough thought f*** it I'm going to have a drink
Went to see her at supermarket and all made up
Thought bad idea to have a drink, why not go to pub and have a coffee?
Blew off counselling with one hours notice
Drove to pub bought a pint and went on the gambling machine
Bought second pint, sat out back in beer garden, thought about how the alcohol isn't working, where is my relief? Maybe i should stop at 2 pints but what the hell would i do for the rest of the evening.
Thought maybe i could go back to AA, to have meetings to go to at night but can't as i don't believe in it and there are so many lost people there, where i live. Could drive out of town? I know what crazy is as for 7 years i was one of them!
To the garage to pick up more alcohol and home
Planned to watch a great film whilst boozing, ended up watching tv.
Checked time, 10pm is that all?
Ate some food went to bed
Woke up this morning first 2 seconds a stretch, felt ok then thought i didn't drink did i? I did, ffs!
Sitting writing this, stomach feels off, head feels off, smoked too much so body in general feels off, tired.
So...i know this is only going to work if i truly believe that no matter how i feel or whatever happens i won't take a drink to try and feel better. Also that i am not doing enough and need to change more things in my life.
Summary
Slept like crap night before, was wearing 24 hour nicotine patch, had nightmares of having to fight people and things, woke up feeling hd gone three rounds with mike tyson
Had a cigarette when was trying to quit
Went to town to collect money bank had frozen in a business account, (routine fraud check apparently as it was a large sum?!), walked across town with cash thought about going into a gambling place
Daughter had headache needed me to babysit, had argument with her (did have lovely time with grandson)
A bigger argument with her over nothing when she woke up
Had enough thought f*** it I'm going to have a drink
Went to see her at supermarket and all made up
Thought bad idea to have a drink, why not go to pub and have a coffee?
Blew off counselling with one hours notice
Drove to pub bought a pint and went on the gambling machine
Bought second pint, sat out back in beer garden, thought about how the alcohol isn't working, where is my relief? Maybe i should stop at 2 pints but what the hell would i do for the rest of the evening.
Thought maybe i could go back to AA, to have meetings to go to at night but can't as i don't believe in it and there are so many lost people there, where i live. Could drive out of town? I know what crazy is as for 7 years i was one of them!
To the garage to pick up more alcohol and home
Planned to watch a great film whilst boozing, ended up watching tv.
Checked time, 10pm is that all?
Ate some food went to bed
Woke up this morning first 2 seconds a stretch, felt ok then thought i didn't drink did i? I did, ffs!
Sitting writing this, stomach feels off, head feels off, smoked too much so body in general feels off, tired.
So...i know this is only going to work if i truly believe that no matter how i feel or whatever happens i won't take a drink to try and feel better. Also that i am not doing enough and need to change more things in my life.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
As long a you can learn from a relapse the news is never all bad HeadingtoChange.
Sounds like you had many opportunities to take the 'road less travelled' there...something to keep in your head for next time
D
Sounds like you had many opportunities to take the 'road less travelled' there...something to keep in your head for next time
D
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