JL2014

Karen I think they're under 12 step support.
I just search daily readings is I lose the page

CristinaN

Morning everyone. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers yesterday. It means so much to me.

I just love reading each morning about everyone staying sober another day but even if you slip come right back here. Support is so important.

Not much happening here in my household. Just hanging with my kiddos. We will probably do a little bit of swimming and I'm sure some electronics so I can get some housework done. I'll be checking in a bunch as usual. Have an awesome day!!

ChickChick

Good morning all.

Sunflowerlife

Kept lo home as he was not acting like himself this morning. Just found a bottle of rum in the freezer- we obviously got it in the mail last week when my MIL sent us a package from Barbados (she always sends liquor once a year when she goes.) kind of pissed that DH didn't hide it. How clueless can one man be? I have asked him to go to Alanon. Even his therapist has suggested it and he is also in recovery. Just pisses me off and of course I am overeating as a result. So much for sticking to my diet.

CristinaN

Morning.

CristinaN

Oh man. My hubby doesn't get it either so I know how you feel. Better to overeat than drink though. Great job staying sober

PennyLane76

Good morning all! Going to look up those daily talks JL. Glad to be Day 5! Yesterday I was paranoid about having DTs. It was just paranoia obviously. Better today even though little sleep. Johnny, that sounds wonderful!! Have a great sober day all

Oswin

We have a house full of wine as my DH still drinks (that's a whole other rant). Annoys me daily. My healthy eating gone out the window as well as I'm not feeling that great not sure if I'm sickening for something or just my body readjusting to sober life still.

Just wanted to say can relate to where your coming from.

Sunflowerlife

This is turning out to be an awful day. I should have taken my little guy to school and pushed through my work day. Instead I have a clingy toddler who isn't letting me work and I have been yelling and crying all morning. I don't feel right today. I thought it was from the lack of carbs yesterday but have eaten half of the house and don't feel any better. It's like I've been drugged. I am so tired of feeling like crap both physically and emotionally and wish I could quit my job (just started in May) and still afford to send the kids to daycare. In other words I am lazy and depressed and just want to be left alone all day. I can't handle life anymore whether I am drunk or sober and I don't see it getting any better. At four and a half months sober it was NOT any better. So when does it actually feel good?

CristinaN

I just relapsed after 6 months. At 4 months I was still miserable especially bc I couldn't get away from alcohol since my husband had it in the house.
What I've had to do is really take time for myself and only deal with my sobriety not anyone else's. I also get some form of exercise daily and pray to God to keep me sober and remove my alcohol obsession. I have three kids so time alone is difficult but I make it happen and these feeling you are having will pass. It won't be like this forever. I was feeling good at 6 months which turned into my downfall. I won't let that happen again
Keep pushing through and just do the next right thing. You're doing great.

Sunflowerlife

Thank you Christina- I needed that support. Luckily I am not having any cravings and am certain that sobriety is going to stick this time. I just want the life long depression to go away and since it started at age 13 (before I started using) it makes me wonder if I will ever feel better than this. My eating issues are 21 years old and that's anther battle I a tired of fighting. I'm just tired. Parenting is exhausting, my marriage sucks and on top of that I am an alcoholic. Sometimes I think adding a full time job to the mix was a bad idea. Then again I was not happy being a stay at home Mom anymore. I don't know. Nothing is clear and nothing feels good but I know that tomorrow will be better than this. It's just a bad day. I will keep reminding myself of that.

CristinaN

Ok so someone gave me this advice: Stay sober for the next year and do everything you can to be the best wife, employee and mother that you can be. Then at the end of that year if things still haven't changed you can reevaluate and make changes to your life knowing that you did everything you could to make the most of your situation without the influence of alcohol.

This really made sense to me and that's what I am doing now. Hope it helps.

ExDrinkingCub

I guess we are all having a Tuesday today. Sunflower it is just a bad day. And we still won't drink that would just make it worse. I said I had nothing to report yesterday. Cut to today and my emotions are all over the place. Just seemingly not having appropriate emotional reactions to things. My friend (who I admit I have a huge crush on but he's in a relationship) is headed for an international vacation and I am just scared for him with everything going on in the world. The appropriate response is wishing him well. My response has been sobbing at work. Ack.

I guess it just brings up that fact that it is hard to do life alone sometimes. I know we have each other as a great support system. But I'm just ready to have someone to spend time with and come home to. And then I worry that I could of already had that in the years I was boozing. Many other friends my age (30) have been married for years. And it's been just me. Never a long term relationship (which was probably Good considering I was a drunk)

I guess drinking gave me instant gratification and now I want that in ever other sense of my life. I know that won't happen overnight but it is still hard to consider.

Drinking won't fix any of our terrible Tuesday problems friends. I know that. I just can't wait to feel like a better person that deserves all the happiness in the world. I know I'm not the only one who feels that way here

JL2014

Ah Tuesday. Crew Boss yelling cussing.
The focus of being sober will grow. Staying sober is the only way my focus can grow. Else I just stay stumbling around in crap jobs. Or crappy perception. The fact that I can't tell for sure, means I need recovery .

Sunflowerlife

Sorry friends. I guess a few of us are not having a good day. In my experience a bad day is usually followed by a good one so let's hope that tomorrow brings us a fresh start..

Delilah1

I'm glad you avoided the rum, sorry that happened. Hope your little one is feeling better soon.

ChickChick

Tuesday blah's here too. I don't have much helpful to say, but I commiserate. I think a nap might be in order.

ChickChick

Hope your little one feels better soon Sunflower.

emme99

Hi all~
Sorry to hear so many are not having a good day. My experience is also that bad days are usually followed by a good one.

Day 16
It is a busy day at work today, which I like, until it gets too busy. Being busy keeps my mind off things and I need that right now. My dog is at daycare today so I don't have to go home at lunch and I got my diet plan last night so I am going to grocery shop instead. Just some basic items to get me through and then do real planning and preparation over the weekend.

Hoping everyone's day gets better, and that you all have great days tomorrow

Sunflowerlife

Thanks Chick. He is still napping and I was able to snooze with him a bit even though I should be working an 8 hour day.

I don't even know if he was sick or not. I mean he was tossing and turning all night and is stuffy but he probably could have done to school. I think I selfishly kept him home because I have anxiety about work.