CuteNGayYay

Del and Jobei. I feel your post a few days ago about feeling not good enough. I failed this past week and am now entering day 3. I'm a binger and this last was for a few days so still feelin it and drinking lots of water. don't know what really triggered me. I knew I just wasn't feeling too happy lately. I think I had like 50 or so days? So I'm proud of that. Longest I've had in a long time. Glad to have u all.

ItsViolet

Don't let it defeat you CGY...you can learn from this and move on. What can you do differently this time? Glad you're still here with us

ItsViolet

Thanks to those who sent well wishes. I'm doing my best to take care of myself for once, which means putting my health first, and then my job. I'm actually surprised I was able to do that and take all of the days off that I needed to recover. And not go back to work earlier than the doctor advised, or answer emails or texts about work etc.

I had had a bad habit of worrying more about work than me, but I really feel like that's changing now. I guess I just don't have the energy or patience anymore to pretend I'm okay when I'm not. I'm not sure why or how right now, but I feel like it's really sobriety and my recovery program that are teaching me that I just don't have to do that.

Leezer

CNGY--50 days is HUGE. I know it sucks to start over, but it can be meaningful if you really look back over the past few days and see what happened. I am a binger too so hindsight for me is always 20/20. I also noticed that you have posted less lately. I swear a simple post every day on here helps with accountability. Lastly, I think your honesty and already being back with the program for 3 days is excellent. I always faded from SR when I slipped because I hated the dreaded day 1s, but now I see how much the experiences of others help me. So......do you have a plan now? Maybe start journaling when you are feeling down so you can expose those emotionally triggers that make you want to binge?

Day 48 here. Feeling good, but crappy sleep. I am able to take naps, however, so I just do that. I believe it is definitely some light, light PAWS, but I don't have any other symptoms like memory loss or agitation, etc. I do have that odd experience here and there of having a word "on the tip of my tongue" and forgetting it. But all manageable things as I work through my recovery. Could be far worse.

Leezer

Oh I would not say that in a MILLION years, Dee. You have a huge heart of gold and your words are like rubies. Even when I went years off of SR I remember my favorite of yours to me (and I've seen to others): "Lee, I think you just need to accept that you have to take drinking off of the table as an option....permanently." That was so true, but I never got it because I always wanted to "master" alcohol.
That was not EVER going to happen.

Dee74

Thanks for the kind words Lee - I'm very happy something I said helped you

D

PHRD

Lee- I thought paws was from early recovery? Arent you way up there on days? Del 24 hours ends late tonight so check in is this time tomorrow. Start fighting AV. Its difficult but every time your brain thinks about, negotiates, nags about anything alcohol related just say stop. Try to change it right around even. "Acfew drinks would make me telax and feel bad right this moment" "A few drinks would lead to many and I'd feel horrible about myself so shut up AV" Its the work needed to get it out of your head. Cute glad you came back. You will succeed this time if you just refuse to take a sip.

SansaS

What's a physic vampire, OOTT?
I've been keeping really busy lately too. Lots of working, walking, tv etc.

PHRD

I'm miserable but must be getting better. Every time the pain goes away I pray it doesnt come back. It seems to be lessoning sometimes. I need to pry myself out of bed to get some fresh air. Im sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Optimist4ever57

CGY, 50 days is fantastic! It tells us what you're capable of :-)

Without making light of your binge, very few of us have been able to make a go of it the first try. I recently noted it' s taken me 10+tries, and that doesn't count the tries before SR!

Learn what you can from this and get started now on your new sober journey. We're here for you

PHRD

Optimist - I can vouge for that too. My first time trying was 2010. Its been 6 years of unhappiness and an AV in my head. No more!

SansaS

I think I might be going through some paws at the moment. Feeling pretty down about my weight and I have been spending way too much money lately- looking for a buzz anywhere I can get it, I guess? I've given up 2 of my crutches- wine and coffee, and now I'm looking to fill up on food and shopping. Feeling a little down. When is paws supposed to hit?

SansaS

Btw, I'm on day 70 today. Next goal- 78 days which will be GoT day (I'm looking at you, OT) Xo

Optimist4ever57

I have so much to do today and am fighting either some vicious allergies, or a virus has entered my body and is taking over. Perhaps a Zyrtec will help. Either way, I feel crummy and really just want to nap

Will check in later...

jobei

Day 3 is good man, ready to get back at it? I hope to stick with us!!

OldTomato

I think it's different for everyone Sansa. Don't beat yourself up about it, you're overcoming addiction - that's a big deal! Be good to yourself.

I find it helpful to have goals to reach and I buy myself a treat then, as long as I watch my money and stay sober I'll have saved enough money to buy something really nice for myself. I'm off into town on Wednesday with a friend so I can buy something for my two months of sobriety.

OldTomato

Everyone's ill at the moment, this class is contagious! Hope you feel better soon OP.

OldTomato

Girl, we got this.

OldTomato

Don't push yourself too hard PHRD. It's frustrating but it'll pass.

PHRD

Optimist there's a couple evil viruses going around. Take some echinasia? I have a friend who always recommends it to ward off a cold. Sansa are you sure you want to quit coffee too? Maybe cut yourself a break and 1. Have some coffee 2. Stop worring about your weight and focus on getting some more exercise for health instead? I need to start getting going myself once my heel heals - lol Want to start a commitment to walk a certain distance each day and then we will up it? I may be good to go in a few more days.