OldTomato

Badger - It's great that you're staying busy, keep it up!

JL - I'm sorry to hear about your sister, I hope your visit goes well tomorrow. I'm guessing that because the doctors are being vague then you don't know how serious it is? Glad you had a good time today.

Emandm - Well done on Day 35!

safeandsound - Is there any way you can have a conversation with your husband when you've both calmed down and he's sober? We don't make the best points when we're angry or drunk. If you can't concentrate on anything then can you go out for a walk or run a bath? Just focus on getting through the next hour without alcohol.

knb - Loneliness is a big thing the AV grasps hold of. Right now you need to take care of yourself and stay sober. How is picking up a drink going to help things? It won't feel like you think it's going to, and you'll be back feeling like you did before. What happened that made you want to stop drinking? Think about that. Get through the next hour without picking up a drink. Look at the time now, you can go one hour right?

Delizadee

Let's all just solemnly swear to get drunk together.

Get a wine glass and some grape pop.

****this day.

I'm going for a smoke and an OJ and non-alcoholic vodka. (aka, water)

I feel you guys. I am RIGHT there, today is a stinking thinking day EVERYTHING pisses me off.

Paix Amour

Don't do it! You will be right back where you started. Your last attempt with SR you were sober 42 days, after you slipped you drank for 14 months! You don't wont to end up there again.

Also, you don't wont to be a drunk lonely woman do you? Whose love affair is with the bottle. You have a much better chance in meeting a nice kind man being sober instead of a drunk. If you did find another man whilst drinking, no doubt he would be a heavy drinker or a drunk too, that's probably all the two of you would have in common, a love for the bottle. Like tends to attract like Im afraid. I remember you saying your last relationship was all about drinking.

In my experience most decent men avoid drunk woman. Ive lost several boyfriends over the last few years because weve gone out and Ive ended up making a fool out of myself and him. He has had to prop me up walking along the street, drag me in and out of cabs and in the morning he wants to get up and go out and have fun, but I was too tired or ill, so he ended up going out for a bike ride or picnic or to the beach by himself.....some relationship!

My aim is to met a nice, kind and sober type man when Ive been sober for a while, and feel secure and stable in my sobriety. For now I need to spend my spare time on ME, and not worry about a new relationship.

I want my life to be all about living every day happy and healthy, not drinking and slowly dying.

Mel12

Hi JL,

Alcohol plus aspirin or NSAIDS, especially around bedtime, I have heard can quickly fry holes in the stomach. One of my friends ran into that recently. I have heard that alcohol on its own can fry holes, but that it takes a lot of alcohol, and that intense gastritis would probably manifest itself first. I have yet another friend dealing with gastritis. Between these two friends I have heard more than my share about stomach woes.

OldTomato

Coco's right, any relationship you have while you're drinking is not going to be healthy. You don't need to be thinking about relationships right now knb!

Leezer

For anyone who wants to drink (I don't know you guys well yet), all I can say is the remorse you will feel tomorrow will far outweigh the drunkenness you get today. I think the trouble with sobriety is everything gets so clear, and sometimes clear is tough. Life is super messy, and we have all been numbing ourselves for years.

I am very bored today so I am trying to do little things, just baby steps to feel like I am getting something done. Normally I would have drinking on the agenda, but now I realize that that would just be robbing me of a day and I have done that for YEARS.

Taking a nap would be better than drinking. Paying a bill would be better than drinking. Taking a shower and pampering yourself would be better than drinking. Going for a drive (if you can do that without stopping at a store) would be better than drinking. Crying would be better than drinking. ANYTHING would be better than thinking. Your AV wants to solve that problem irrationally for you right now. But then there's tomorrow. Please don't drink.
Hugs,
Lee

Paix Amour

That's right. A healthy relationship will follow. It will follow when youre secure and stable in your sobriety. That way the true (sober) knb will shine brightly and a lovely man will see you.

We are not our true selves when we are actively drinking. We are obsessed with alcohol. Our mind is on alcohol. Our lives revolve around alcohol. Really, there is very little room for our true selves to shine brightly, let alone any room to conduct a healthy relationship.

I don't want to cry lonely into a glass all night.

Instead Im going to be smiling and laughing and sober with a lovely sober man beside me!!!

Delizadee

That's what I have been doing too Mel. Instead of trying to drown my negative emotions or fix them or change them, I acknowledge it in my head. And let myself look at it. Sometimes I am able to turn my feelings around in my head. The deeper I get into this the more I am finding myself overwhelmed by the negativity. Baby steps I guess.

I have a headache that doesn't want to quit. However, I know drinking will make me feel worse, won't solve anything and cause me umpteen more problems. So the desire isn't there, just the f it all mind frame is ever present.

I do however, feel like smashing all the empties belonging to everyone else.

Paix Amour

Ironically......guess whats on my "man want" list? When Im ready that is.

VERY light or NON drinker

Im aiming for an alcohol free life as best I can. Cant stand the stuff! It always ruins everything, well for me anyway.

JL2014

You know,
I've never, never considered my sisters drinking every single day, to be an issue. They've never gone way out there with drinking, but been steady at it for a really long time. About 10-12 yrs ago, her husband started having ulcers really bad, but I never put it all together because they live a distance away. Crazy. In reality. Alcohol is killing all of us slowly, but surely as poison.
I'm not happy to hear ppl are struggling today. It is a sh-t day to be sure, but the moment we do it, I do it, I'm telling myself it's ok to poison myself.
They say refusing to forgive a person is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies from it.
Today let's forgive ourselves and be free another day.
Ice cream, chips and dip, hell let's eat everything !!
Hugs to y'all. I ain't saying it correct. I'm redneck anyway ! Lol

safeandsound

Thanks to those who offered support. Lee, this is exactly what's going on:

"I think the trouble with sobriety is everything gets so clear, and sometimes clear is tough. Life is super messy, and we have all been numbing ourselves for years."

I think I'll take a bath. Had plans today but am too grumpy to go out. Thankful for SR. (hey, I even found comments on other threads about a spouse who drinks, so I'm not alone!) I need to hide the beer.

knb, are you okay??

Paix Amour

Its 7.30am on Sunday morning here and Im up and adam - sober!

Beginning of day 3 for moi.

Ive got a big day planned because yesterday was entirely spent on the couch watching tv and movies, eating and napping.

Im going to have a couple of fresh cappuccinos from my new espresso machine I bought the other day, and drink them outside on the deck and watch the day start.

Then Im going for a 1 hour walk from here. Just locally. Cant be bothered driving anywhere.

Then back here for breakfast, shower and get dressed.

Then Im going to start reading my book (The Shack) and potter around the house doing housework.

I might put some soft music on in the background.

Paix Amour

I haven't read the thread thoroughly for the past 3 days. It would take me half a day. So Im sorry Im not entirely sure whats up, but please know that I care. I don't have a partner or husband here at all, so I cant specifically relate, but I can imagine its a bit difficult for you. You must be very strong SAS.

Take care of yourself today SAS. A pampering bath sounds good. I hope you cheer up.

Delizadee

I don't even know what I did with that quote there... sigh.

Guys, I was wondering last night HOW you spouses with drinking spouses handle it. I can NOT myself. Also steering faaaar, far away from any relationship stuff. I've got too much on my plate.

JL, I think you are very compassionate and introspective. Hopefully with time you can start to feel the benefits of continuing to be positive, empathetic, kind and loving with your wife. You are on the right path.

Lee, you are right. So many years of numbing out leaves us as raw arseholes. Drinking would be throwing fuel on a fire. I'm glad you are here with us.

Hi Coco!

Delizadee

And hello to all here. I wonder what our active classmates number is at?

Even if we are having a **** day, at least we have each other and are still here and posting. I know I for one take a lot of comfort in everyone's presence here. Our own little corner of the web where we can safely "be ourselves"

Lolipa

Hello all. Still hanging in there with two weeks sober. In reality, two weeks is a short amount of time. But this feels monumental. I am heading outside to get some sunshine and do some gardening. That will fix anything!

How is everyone else doing? I have some catching up to do on the thread, but that will likely be this evening (when I skip my neighbor's bday party at a tavern. Going to have to pretend I am sick. )

Paix Amour

Hi Delizadee

Youre right about that. We have each other here. We may be miles away but we do care. We always get support here. We don't get judged.

CuteNGayYay

3 weeks ! Day 21. That's cray cray.
Knb like everyone else has said a drink isn't worth it. A drink will turn into lots of drink over a few days or weeks even. Just remember how u felt this last time u stopped on day 1, 2, and 3. Do you really wanna waste your life like that? Go back to shakes, sweating, stomach issues, horrible sleep etc. ? I hope u didn't. But if u did I know ur a binge drinker like me. STOP today! Before it gets worse.
SAS- I know it's gotta be hard to be the designated driver to drop off your husband and friends to continue partying while u go home. I can see how u would be irritated with him. I think just having a casual conversation with him would be a good idea. Not when he's hungover though. id wait till the evening or even tomorrow.
Coco yay ur back!
Congrats to everyone adding them days up and to those returning and not giving up.
Hugs
CNGY

Badger07

You and I know that is not the answer. I think you will feel really bad for several days if you drink. Stick it out. It will pass. If you are drinking now just stop please. Dont make me send Shamus over there.

Applekat

SAS and Knb - read your past posts. Stick with us. It's so so so so hard some days - but so so so so so worth it!!!!