Applekat

Hi Cococo!!!!

JL you're doing so well despite everything. Keep at it, keep posting to us. Something is working this time friend!

Optimis, great share! Well done on day 14 whoo hoo!

Guys, where is Game of Thrones available?

Applekat

I'm female, 34, married to my high school sweetheart for 10.5 years. Three kids - 6, 4, 8 months. Started staying at home full time after number 2 was born. My family is my everything right now. The kids are smart but tough kiddos, and hubby works long hours. I used to work out and play sports. But I know there will be a day when the house is quieter and I'll miss it. Cherishing these days but now trying to find small bits of time for myself. We only have this one body, this one life. I am working hard to put some of my OCD tendencies aside, my "save it for the right day" attitude.....and not worry about the dust and the laundry building up in baskets (or as I call them, our plastic dressers). I want to actually burn the candles, use the expensive lotion, wear the nice coat....treasure TODAY! These are the things I'm working on. Being kind to myself and enjoying what we have right now. Building sober days.

I would say I didn't even start really drinking until out of college and into the humdrum of 40+ hour work weeks. Wine, then boxed wine. Then everyday. Dieting but leaving points for wine. Then periods of abstaining. Then pregnancies. Then the chaos and humdrum of being a stay at home mom. It can be reclusive. And it's smeared in social media as being survived only with yoga pants, coffee and wine. Then I see I became more of a binge drinker as it was safer to time it when I knew someone else would be able to take care of kiddo's in an emergency. Secret drinking and re-fills, silent suffering through hangovers. Replacing bottles to make it look like they hadn't been drunk from much. Worrying about using credit cards versus cash. Exhausting!!! Glad to be here with y'all. Nothing changes if nothing changes, right?

Wow lots of babbling! Anyway, that's me! Kat!

JL2014

OT
Yes wife knows how many days, I'm on, but not interested. She got called in to cover another part of the hospital Friday so didn't go to sign up at counselling. ( not gonna push, just frustrated)
I've got 2 1/2 yr old with me, and she went to a craft store and to the cemetery where her fathers buried. She said younger son breaks stuff in the store and asked if I'd stay with him. I guess she'll end up sitting over at her moms, but isobar know. I just let it go. Getting numb to it.
Anyway SUCCESS !!
I got up at 7am ( 2 hrs late for me) and went and got done specific tools I needed, then came back and 2 hrs later I got carb joints replace on the atv, so it's running great. You still have to put the choke on, for it to run right, but it's always done that, and no amount of adjustment will fix it right.
Going to ride w littlest man. He loves to ride, while I safety strap him onto me, so no mishaps occur.
All I know for sure is that I'm sober today, and nobody accomplished it but god, me, and SR friends.

kittycat3

Hi Ak, I was just talking to a friend about the moms and wine phenomenon. She is a light drinker and her mom is an alcoholic. She was very concerned about how some people think that because it's "just wine" it's not a problem to drink daily, even in copious amounts. It sounds like a pervasive problem!!!

OldTomato

It is frustrating JL, hang in there. I hope she finds the right path soon. Sounds like you're gonna have a great day going out for a ride.

kittycat3

Day 2. Wow do I feel heaps better than yesterday.

Welcome back coco. I think this means we are sober twins! Let's make this time stick, ok?

My friend sent me a note About how she loves when life events come together in a swirl to push you in the right direction. For me, the swirl is the 4 beers I drank + the car wreck I got into (was rear ended, not my fault, but car is totaled...). She said, embrace the swirl, because it is what is pushing you in the right direction.

So I implore all the febs today to embrace the swirl

OldTomato

I'm glad you're feeling better kittycat, your friend is right - sometimes it takes something like that to wake us up!

Leezer

JL : I really like to read your posts. You are very introspective but also seem to be starting to see the big picture overall. You inspire me!

Day 12 for me. Sooooo glad it's Saturday. Slept forever last night. For me, I am realizing I was more of a during-the-week drinker because I have no urges on the weekends, even though I would imbibe then too. I guess after a hard workweek I'm just glad for the rest and relieved of the pressure of not working.

Have a good Saturday, folks!
Lee

Applekat

Yes kitty! One great example is the author Stefanie Wilder-Taylor who wrote funny books like Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay, and Naptime is the New Happy Hour....eventually confessed her alcoholism!!!

I mean, I'm sure many women can sip on one glass, and "turn it off" - but there's also likely a good amount finding themselves at least questioning - do I have a problem? Has this progressed to more than just a means to relaxation with one-2 glasses, a few times a week.

Optimist4ever57

My daughter always has a few bottles of wine on her counter. When I was going through my divorce, and she knew I was on some pretty heavy medication, she would always offer me a drink. I was clean back then and would look at her and say, "I have to drive home"...even though it was only 2 miles. She'd say, "just take the side streets" which was possible but seriously, I'd have to drive right through the police department complex!!!

Never took her up on her offer, but my grandson tells me she's still at it with her 1 year old under her care. :-(

Badger07

Made it through Friday. Staying busy. Going to gym then there is an all aluminum 408W in the garage that needs some attention.

Badger07

Oh, and Shamus got his left arm chewed off during the first round of Buckin Bronco. He got up, dusted himself off, renamed himself Shamus the Amputee and got back on the bull.

JL2014

My 53 yr old sisters in hospital. Had low blood count and bleeding all in her stomach. They did done kind of procedure to stop the bleeding. She been super sick for next 3-4 days, now admitted to hospital down there. They're kinda vague on a diagnosis which is really upsetting her husband. I'm going to see her in the morning. Not far, about 100 miles at most I think.
I do know that they drink " a few beers" daily in the evenings for past 30 yrs. I'm guessing that eats your insides up over that long. I'm a binger so I haven't experienced anything like that. Psycho pill/booze/bible addled brother blowing up my phone trying to get me to entertain his BS take on the situation.
I really over today, for real !
Had fun riding. Probably go again later.
Eating now because that's like excuse number 57 to drink.
Fk

Mel12

Hi KNB - I know from experience how intoxicated, screaming neighbors can bring down the vibe of a neighborhood. For noise, I prefer my current neighborhood problem of barking pit bulls, if I were forced to choose. (Though crazy pit bulls can be bad news too!) Thank you for all of your posts. They are really helpful.

Emandm

Day 35

safeandsound

Hi, guys. Glad to see a lot of people are doing well this morning.

I feel terrible. I've been up writing in my journal since 8 a.m. and sensing the 6-pack in the fridge the whole time, wondering if I should drink. I know it won't give any answers, and that pisses me off, too. I feel stuck with no pain relief. Starting to hear the AV saying at least I'd have relief for half an hour! I'm really upset and overwhelmed.

For those who didn't see, last night was really hard at dinner with husband's colleagues where I was left out of the conversation. After H came back from the bar, which I didn't go to, I complained about being ignored. (I knew it wasn't a good idea to talk to him drunk, but my rage took over. Lesson #10001). Drunk H points out I could've contributed, he is not my babysitter and besides, he was discussing important issues in his field. And I am a "baby," just for good measure. It escalated on both sides from there. His drunkenness and my rage are not a good combo.

I am the last person in the world to disrespect someone's work. I just thought he could at least have made eye contact or touched my hand or something during dinner. Then they all went out to the bar, including a woman I am extremely jealous of.

SO . . . I ended up in a rage, screaming at him and making the cat cry. She literally does this every time we fight--comes right up next to us and howls, trying to get us to stop. She's very dependent because abandoned in a park in winter when it was 40 below. Anyway, I stepped outside of myself and could see I was spiraling out of control, bringing up every single thing that's wrong, including money, which is always a trigger. He played the victim about the whole thing and stomped off to the living room to continue drinking because I guess 5 hours at the bar isn't enough. I was up reading most of the night but woke up at 8 furious.

How the hell do you get through these feelings? I can't imagine watching TV or playing games like I usually do to distract the AV. Reading is hard. I'm too upset.

I am heartsick over this, though. We are each other's entire worlds. Best friends and always supportive. He supports my sobriety and has been trying his best to help. But that goes out the window once he starts drinking. Addiction is our Achilles heel. We are also both good people. But all the problems are now on vivid display since I'm sober.

How do you correct habits of 16 years and change your whole relationship dynamic without breaking up? Btw he has always been the caretaker since he didn't black out until this last year. This is a big change for him, so I'm sure he feels confused. I always seem angry to him, even though in my recovery groups I'm happy and open and laughing. It's harder to apply at home

I feel pretty hopeless.

opalblue

Hi class I havnt read anyone's posts because I have to go out in 30 mins. I just bumped into a friend of mine who left her husband for another man. They were food shopping and looked so happy. I immediately began to feel sorry for myself. she leaves her husband after 12 years and has now got herself a new man (who is gorgeous). They are moving in together. Sigh

And here I am still single after so many years. Lonely...

I could kill for a bottle of wine. I swear to God I am that close. I am so frustrated. Massive trigger

Pls someone remind me again why I don't want to drink

opalblue

I want to get drunk!!! �� ��

Mel12

Hi SafeAndSound -

Going to the dentist can be better than a coworker party. I believe no one can succeed socially in a coworker event because the situation is a "rigged game." In my experience, going out with my spouse's coworkers, or vice versa, is--shall we say--a SUBOPTIMAL social situation, especially when alcohol is involved. People blowing off steam about a job do "insider talk" that no rational human could possibly understand, much less contribute to. With nothing to do in such situations, I find the danger is to turn to drinking as a way to pass the time.

From what I can tell, you are a super-fun person! After all, even Jon Stewart with his best scriptwriters would flounder in a crowd of coworkers talking insider stuff.

Mel12

Hi SafeAndSound,

I have been following your messages. You ask some really fundamental questions! What to do with those feelings? I have been trying to just sit in the "pain" and let it do its thing without my getting all reactive by doing something such as grabbing a martini. Let me add I have NO background in psychology--but I do know I have to do better at experiencing "pain" without jumping up to grab a drink.

Keep us updated. We can do this!