Class of February 2016 Part 9
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Class of February 2016 Part 9
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Ah ..... The first of a bizillion posts a day from our zooming class !!
Now caught up.
Day 19 . Still not believing it. Quiet anger still in place, maybe from personal situation, or maybe resolve to just not drink no matter what's thrown at me. I know I couldn't do it without our group.
Thank you all !----- there , think I said it correctly.
Now caught up.
Day 19 . Still not believing it. Quiet anger still in place, maybe from personal situation, or maybe resolve to just not drink no matter what's thrown at me. I know I couldn't do it without our group.
Thank you all !----- there , think I said it correctly.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Good morning everyone. I love Saturdays. Going to an early morning AA meeting, then having my hair cut and then off to a friends for lunch.
All good stuff. I'm feeling settled and positive this morning. Long may it last...
Love and hugs to you all ❤️
All good stuff. I'm feeling settled and positive this morning. Long may it last...
Love and hugs to you all ❤️
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
I just wrote out my list of resentments, I almost ran out of paper! I had to make my writing really small towards the end. I'm feeling that weight being lifted off my shoulders slightly already. Phew. The next part is to write my role in the cause of the resentments though. That's the bit I've been avoiding. 
Sansa - I love Game Of Thrones too, haven't been able to watch the latest season yet though. I know everything that happens anyway, thanks internet.
Sansa - I love Game Of Thrones too, haven't been able to watch the latest season yet though. I know everything that happens anyway, thanks internet.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 534
Lol yep I know what you mean. Jon snow was all over the Internet, luckily I get to watch it here at the same time as the US (11am Monday) for us. Looking forward to the new season starting April 24.
My sober counter app has switched over from counting just days to months/days now. Mine says 1 month 4 days so I'm unsure exactly how many days I'm on now. I guess it doesn't matter. Looking forward to when I can say 2 months.
My boys are both at a friend's sleepover tonight and hubby is out with friends so I'm lying in bed with the cat and dog lol. Miss my boys like crazy when they're not here! In the past this would've been the perfect opportunity to drink until I passed out or threw up. Can't think of anything worse now!
Gg- been meaning to ask you how you're finding the campral? Do you like it?
My sober counter app has switched over from counting just days to months/days now. Mine says 1 month 4 days so I'm unsure exactly how many days I'm on now. I guess it doesn't matter. Looking forward to when I can say 2 months.
My boys are both at a friend's sleepover tonight and hubby is out with friends so I'm lying in bed with the cat and dog lol. Miss my boys like crazy when they're not here! In the past this would've been the perfect opportunity to drink until I passed out or threw up. Can't think of anything worse now!
Gg- been meaning to ask you how you're finding the campral? Do you like it?
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Hi Everybody
I've missed you all. I've just got back from down the line at my uncles funeral. Not many people there but it was a nice send off all the same. I stayed on another day. I'm back in my home now too. The sewer pipe and toilet situation is resolved.
Unfortunately I drunk alcohol the day before the funeral. I drunk quite a lot too. I am disappointed in myself but I'm used to that unfortunately. I've slipped so many times it's a constant disappointment. So I'm back on day 2. It's almost midnight now so I'm almost at the end of day 2.
I am committed to being sober permanently, it's just I find it very difficult to abstain when I'm stressed. I need to address how to deal with stress alongside with staying sober because they are intertwinned.
I am going to my first AA meeting this coming Thursday and have already spoken to a potential female sponsor over the phone who will meet me there. I am feeling a fraction nervous about going, but I'm curious as well to see if it's going to be for me.
Any tips from anybody about what I might expect at my first meeting would be appreciated.
I hope you're all doing well :-)
I will hopefully catch up with the flow of the thread tomorrow. I'm off to bed now. Night.
I've missed you all. I've just got back from down the line at my uncles funeral. Not many people there but it was a nice send off all the same. I stayed on another day. I'm back in my home now too. The sewer pipe and toilet situation is resolved.
Unfortunately I drunk alcohol the day before the funeral. I drunk quite a lot too. I am disappointed in myself but I'm used to that unfortunately. I've slipped so many times it's a constant disappointment. So I'm back on day 2. It's almost midnight now so I'm almost at the end of day 2.
I am committed to being sober permanently, it's just I find it very difficult to abstain when I'm stressed. I need to address how to deal with stress alongside with staying sober because they are intertwinned.
I am going to my first AA meeting this coming Thursday and have already spoken to a potential female sponsor over the phone who will meet me there. I am feeling a fraction nervous about going, but I'm curious as well to see if it's going to be for me.
Any tips from anybody about what I might expect at my first meeting would be appreciated.
I hope you're all doing well :-)
I will hopefully catch up with the flow of the thread tomorrow. I'm off to bed now. Night.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
Posts: 2,675
Sansa - I'm waiting to get the boxset for the latest season, quickly bingeing it, then hoping my friend will let me watch the new season at her house.
Coco - Great to see you back! I was so worried about you!! I'm glad that you're trying something different and going to AA. All I can say about attending your first meeting is that your AV will be listing out reasons why you shouldn't be there/don't belong there. Ignore all that. Listen to people speak and pick out the things you can relate to. If they ask if there are any newcomers I recommend introducing yourself, people can sort you with literature and phone numbers that way. You don't have to introduce yourself as an alcoholic if you don't want, just say your name if that's what you're comfortable with. Last of all, keep an open mind!
Here's a link that might cover some things you're worried about -
http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/F...A_Meeting.html
Coco - Great to see you back! I was so worried about you!! I'm glad that you're trying something different and going to AA. All I can say about attending your first meeting is that your AV will be listing out reasons why you shouldn't be there/don't belong there. Ignore all that. Listen to people speak and pick out the things you can relate to. If they ask if there are any newcomers I recommend introducing yourself, people can sort you with literature and phone numbers that way. You don't have to introduce yourself as an alcoholic if you don't want, just say your name if that's what you're comfortable with. Last of all, keep an open mind!
Here's a link that might cover some things you're worried about -
http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/F...A_Meeting.html
Last edited by Dee74; 03-12-2016 at 03:03 AM. Reason: replaced commercial link
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Good to see you back Cococo.
Hi OT - the link you had was pretty commercial so I replaced it with a link thats as informative but meets our rules.
If you want to send the original link by PM that's fine
D
Hi OT - the link you had was pretty commercial so I replaced it with a link thats as informative but meets our rules.
If you want to send the original link by PM that's fine
D
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 508
Good morning! Day 13 here and I think I've finally got AV off my back. 43,married 14 years, 3 kids his mine ours 21, 21 and 12. Enjoying listening to loud music, savoring and looking forward to good foid and trying make some things happen in my life to get to where I want to be. Before I would feel powerless, stuck and unconfident. Not any more. Have a great weekend everyone. Im very proud of you applekat as I know we were in another class together a long time ago. Look at us now! JL dont force your wife to get help help just pray she does and be supportive and kind.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Originally Posted by PHRD 
Good morning! Day 13 here and I think I've finally got AV off my back. 43,married 14 years, 3 kids his mine ours 21, 21 and 12. Enjoying listening to loud music, savoring and looking forward to good foid and trying make some things happen in my life to get to where I want to be. Before I would feel powerless, stuck and unconfident. Not any more. Have a great weekend everyone. Im very proud of you applekat as I know we were in another class together a long time ago. Look at us now! JL dont force your wife to get help help just pray she does and be supportive and kind.
Said she couldn't deal with pressure. There's been a lot going on inside her way before the loss, and although it may not be my "fault", ( ppl just have different problems), me drinking on weekends surely made it worse.
I'm to blame for becoming the scapegoat for life's junk.
I can own up to it.
Couple if days ago I told her that although I did not expect her to do the same, I wanted her to know that I was starting over and that I forgave her for everything that she might have done in the past that I could be unconsciously holding against her?. I told her I loved her and wanted thing to be better for her.
She accused me, then of not trusting her.
It hurt really bad at first, but I then realized I got a glimpse of what things are like for her.
Hurt on top of hurt , on top of issue.
Pouring all the love I can on this, best I can.
I'm not a sterling husband by any means, but I want a better life for her, and us.
Hurts, though.
"You're a drunk" ain't in there any longer. It's been said a few times in 19 days now. I just smile inside and say NOPE.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: England
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JL - I'm sorry you have to go through this, we're powerless over other people just like we're powerless over alcohol. Did she go to her outpatient session? (If you already updated on this then I missed it, sorry).
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by Cococo
Hi Everybody
I am committed to being sober permanently, it's just I find it very difficult to abstain when I'm stressed. I need to address how to deal with stress alongside with staying sober because they are intertwinned.
I am committed to being sober permanently, it's just I find it very difficult to abstain when I'm stressed. I need to address how to deal with stress alongside with staying sober because they are intertwinned.
Stress is my trigger and I've not yet figured out how to deal with it. For now I just let the overwhelming anxiety run it's course. Got to get to the bottom of this....
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by JL2014
It's really hard right now. Last night she wouldn't talk and said she was bitter. I asked what about. She said everything.
Said she couldn't deal with pressure. There's been a lot going on inside her way before the loss, and although it may not be my "fault", ( ppl just have different problems), me drinking on weekends surely made it worse.
I'm to blame for becoming the scapegoat for life's junk.
I can own up to it.
Couple if days ago I told her that although I did not expect her to do the same, I wanted her to know that I was starting over and that I forgave her for everything that she might have done in the past that I could be unconsciously holding against her?. I told her I loved her and wanted thing to be better for her.
She accused me, then of not trusting her.
It hurt really bad at first, but I then realized I got a glimpse of what things are like for her.
Hurt on top of hurt , on top of issue.
Pouring all the love I can on this, best I can.
I'm not a sterling husband by any means, but I want a better life for her, and us.
Hurts, though.
"You're a drunk" ain't in there any longer. It's been said a few times in 19 days now. I just smile inside and say NOPE.
Said she couldn't deal with pressure. There's been a lot going on inside her way before the loss, and although it may not be my "fault", ( ppl just have different problems), me drinking on weekends surely made it worse.
I'm to blame for becoming the scapegoat for life's junk.
I can own up to it.
Couple if days ago I told her that although I did not expect her to do the same, I wanted her to know that I was starting over and that I forgave her for everything that she might have done in the past that I could be unconsciously holding against her?. I told her I loved her and wanted thing to be better for her.
She accused me, then of not trusting her.
It hurt really bad at first, but I then realized I got a glimpse of what things are like for her.
Hurt on top of hurt , on top of issue.
Pouring all the love I can on this, best I can.
I'm not a sterling husband by any means, but I want a better life for her, and us.
Hurts, though.
"You're a drunk" ain't in there any longer. It's been said a few times in 19 days now. I just smile inside and say NOPE.
If she's not aware of what you're doing, she may not recognize it. I haven't made a big deal about not drinking with my fiance, and she really hasn't acknowledged that I haven't drank since Feb 2, even though I fished for compliments the other day. Anyhoo, JL, maybe your wife doesn't realize how hard you're working on this. If you let her in on this, that could be a fresh start you need.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Day 14, 2 weeks! I'm so relieved that I didn't slip at my usual 3 days or 11 days or whatever. Good to be here!
A bit about me. I'm a 59 year-old female with two grown children (39 and 38), 5 grandchildren (20,16,11,9,1), two dogs and a cat. I was married twice - the first time to my children's father for 17 years and the second time to a nightmare for 15 years. I'm from Michigan and have lived here all my life, in the same home for the past 37 years. I'm was able to keep the house after both divorces because of my amazing job as an IT Security Specialist at a major automotive company - going on 25 years!
After that second marriage from H**L ended in 2011, I have been joyously single, having dated only one person for about 8 months. I met him at church and found out he was a recovering addict. Not a problem. He initially told me he had been clean for 8 years, but during a conversation I caught him in a lie, and realized he'd only been clean for 2 or 3 years. I despise liars and if you'll lie to me about your recovery (and not be smart enough to remember what you said) you'll lie about other things. I lost trust in him and the relationship ended.
I lived by myself until about a month ago when my oldest grandson moved in with me. He's such a joy to have around and even though he's not here very often, he's pleasant and helpful when he is.
That's probably more than you bargained for, but it just means I'm getting more comfortable with all of you, able to share a bit more about myself!
Looking forward to learning more about everyone!
A bit about me. I'm a 59 year-old female with two grown children (39 and 38), 5 grandchildren (20,16,11,9,1), two dogs and a cat. I was married twice - the first time to my children's father for 17 years and the second time to a nightmare for 15 years. I'm from Michigan and have lived here all my life, in the same home for the past 37 years. I'm was able to keep the house after both divorces because of my amazing job as an IT Security Specialist at a major automotive company - going on 25 years!
After that second marriage from H**L ended in 2011, I have been joyously single, having dated only one person for about 8 months. I met him at church and found out he was a recovering addict. Not a problem. He initially told me he had been clean for 8 years, but during a conversation I caught him in a lie, and realized he'd only been clean for 2 or 3 years. I despise liars and if you'll lie to me about your recovery (and not be smart enough to remember what you said) you'll lie about other things. I lost trust in him and the relationship ended.
I lived by myself until about a month ago when my oldest grandson moved in with me. He's such a joy to have around and even though he's not here very often, he's pleasant and helpful when he is.
That's probably more than you bargained for, but it just means I'm getting more comfortable with all of you, able to share a bit more about myself!
Looking forward to learning more about everyone!
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