24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 111
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by Cococo 
Hi all
Im in for another 24 hours sober!
Just had an upsetting phone call from my narcissistic mother. I stupidly told her Ive given up drinking for good 9 days ago. I didn't go into details as to why. When I heard it was her I should instantly hung up.
I haven't heard from her in 2 years. We have eachothers phone number, emails etc. 2 years ago after a massive row, I told her to never contact me again.
Next minute she launches in to a "Ive you many times and everybody else in the family that youre a shocking alkie, you cant stay away from it" rant! I said "Arrhhh hang on, I NEVER said Im an alcoholic to you though did I. I just said Ive stopped drinking for good".
There was ABSOLUTELY ZERO support or "Well done, good for you, you can do it". And that's NOT because Ive told her that I have stopped many times before. No, Ive never told her that Ive stopped. She lives on the other side of the planet, and I only ever used to see her once a year. She never knew what I drank, or how much. Whenever she cane over I did restrain immensely and only drink a bottle instead of my usual 2, I wasn't even rolling drunk, but she would say "If you can drink a bottle to yourself youre an alcoholic".
Why did I tell her
. Now she WILL be ringing everybody telling them that I AM an alcoholic, she knew it, she was right etc etc etc.
If she was a normal mother then telling her wouldn't be a problem, it would be a good thing. But because she is an evil narcissist then I usually tell her nothing because she uses it against me.
To her alcoholics are bad people, losers etc. In the past when she would tell me that Im an alcoholic, I would say "Well, IF (emphasis on the IF) I am, then its no wonder, I had a shockingly abusive childhood, and that wouldn't make me a bad person, its a disease". She would say "Ohhhh alcoholics chose to drink, its NOT a disease, what a load of rubbish".
She is the most judgemental and closed minded person I know! Im not exaggerating. I don't know anybody as bad as her.
Im in for another 24 hours sober!
Just had an upsetting phone call from my narcissistic mother. I stupidly told her Ive given up drinking for good 9 days ago. I didn't go into details as to why. When I heard it was her I should instantly hung up.
I haven't heard from her in 2 years. We have eachothers phone number, emails etc. 2 years ago after a massive row, I told her to never contact me again.
Next minute she launches in to a "Ive you many times and everybody else in the family that youre a shocking alkie, you cant stay away from it" rant! I said "Arrhhh hang on, I NEVER said Im an alcoholic to you though did I. I just said Ive stopped drinking for good".
There was ABSOLUTELY ZERO support or "Well done, good for you, you can do it". And that's NOT because Ive told her that I have stopped many times before. No, Ive never told her that Ive stopped. She lives on the other side of the planet, and I only ever used to see her once a year. She never knew what I drank, or how much. Whenever she cane over I did restrain immensely and only drink a bottle instead of my usual 2, I wasn't even rolling drunk, but she would say "If you can drink a bottle to yourself youre an alcoholic".
Why did I tell her
. Now she WILL be ringing everybody telling them that I AM an alcoholic, she knew it, she was right etc etc etc.If she was a normal mother then telling her wouldn't be a problem, it would be a good thing. But because she is an evil narcissist then I usually tell her nothing because she uses it against me.
To her alcoholics are bad people, losers etc. In the past when she would tell me that Im an alcoholic, I would say "Well, IF (emphasis on the IF) I am, then its no wonder, I had a shockingly abusive childhood, and that wouldn't make me a bad person, its a disease". She would say "Ohhhh alcoholics chose to drink, its NOT a disease, what a load of rubbish".
She is the most judgemental and closed minded person I know! Im not exaggerating. I don't know anybody as bad as her.
Pray for your mom, if it doesn't help her it may help you.
Carrying a grudge is letting someone live rentfree in your head. This is not a good time for this talk to have happened but just do what you're doing. Actions speak louder than words. You don't have to pick up because of it. We're your family and we want you to be well. A big HUG for you. Stay the course no matter what. We love you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,905
Originally Posted by Cococo
Hi all
Im in for another 24 hours sober!
Just had an upsetting phone call from my narcissistic mother. I stupidly told her Ive given up drinking for good 9 days ago. I didn't go into details as to why. When I heard it was her I should instantly hung up.
I haven't heard from her in 2 years. We have eachothers phone number, emails etc. 2 years ago after a massive row, I told her to never contact me again.
Next minute she launches in to a "Ive you many times and everybody else in the family that youre a shocking alkie, you cant stay away from it" rant! I said "Arrhhh hang on, I NEVER said Im an alcoholic to you though did I. I just said Ive stopped drinking for good".
There was ABSOLUTELY ZERO support or "Well done, good for you, you can do it". And that's NOT because Ive told her that I have stopped many times before. No, Ive never told her that Ive stopped. She lives on the other side of the planet, and I only ever used to see her once a year. She never knew what I drank, or how much. Whenever she cane over I did restrain immensely and only drink a bottle instead of my usual 2, I wasn't even rolling drunk, but she would say "If you can drink a bottle to yourself youre an alcoholic".
Why did I tell her. Now she WILL be ringing everybody telling them that I AM an alcoholic, she knew it, she was right etc etc etc.
If she was a normal mother then telling her wouldn't be a problem, it would be a good thing. But because she is an evil narcissist then I usually tell her nothing because she uses it against me.
To her alcoholics are bad people, losers etc. In the past when she would tell me that Im an alcoholic, I would say "Well, IF (emphasis on the IF) I am, then its no wonder, I had a shockingly abusive childhood, and that wouldn't make me a bad person, its a disease". She would say "Ohhhh alcoholics chose to drink, its NOT a disease, what a load of rubbish".
She is the most judgemental and closed minded person I know! Im not exaggerating. I don't know anybody as bad as her.
Im in for another 24 hours sober!
Just had an upsetting phone call from my narcissistic mother. I stupidly told her Ive given up drinking for good 9 days ago. I didn't go into details as to why. When I heard it was her I should instantly hung up.
I haven't heard from her in 2 years. We have eachothers phone number, emails etc. 2 years ago after a massive row, I told her to never contact me again.
Next minute she launches in to a "Ive you many times and everybody else in the family that youre a shocking alkie, you cant stay away from it" rant! I said "Arrhhh hang on, I NEVER said Im an alcoholic to you though did I. I just said Ive stopped drinking for good".
There was ABSOLUTELY ZERO support or "Well done, good for you, you can do it". And that's NOT because Ive told her that I have stopped many times before. No, Ive never told her that Ive stopped. She lives on the other side of the planet, and I only ever used to see her once a year. She never knew what I drank, or how much. Whenever she cane over I did restrain immensely and only drink a bottle instead of my usual 2, I wasn't even rolling drunk, but she would say "If you can drink a bottle to yourself youre an alcoholic".
Why did I tell her
. Now she WILL be ringing everybody telling them that I AM an alcoholic, she knew it, she was right etc etc etc.If she was a normal mother then telling her wouldn't be a problem, it would be a good thing. But because she is an evil narcissist then I usually tell her nothing because she uses it against me.
To her alcoholics are bad people, losers etc. In the past when she would tell me that Im an alcoholic, I would say "Well, IF (emphasis on the IF) I am, then its no wonder, I had a shockingly abusive childhood, and that wouldn't make me a bad person, its a disease". She would say "Ohhhh alcoholics chose to drink, its NOT a disease, what a load of rubbish".
She is the most judgemental and closed minded person I know! Im not exaggerating. I don't know anybody as bad as her.
I'm so very sorry, Cococo. Hugs for you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by Cococo
OMG you must be kidding! That may have worked for you, telling your mother. But you don't know my mother. You have no idea how insane she is!
I would get ZERO support from her LOL. Never have, never will. She is out for number 1 - narcissist.
Perhaps look up what theyre like.
Any support I get certainly will not be from her. She doesn't do support. But she does do ripping apart and anti-support.
I would get ZERO support from her LOL. Never have, never will. She is out for number 1 - narcissist.
Perhaps look up what theyre like.
Any support I get certainly will not be from her. She doesn't do support. But she does do ripping apart and anti-support.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by Cococo
Hi, I think I might know the website. Adult Children of Narcissists! Already a member on there. When I tell people with normal mothers, that have never met my mother, that I actually cant stand her, they just cannot understand, they are seriously bewildered. I know this may sound terrible.....but I don't love or care for her at all. She is so toxic its not funny. And please don't anybody suggest I forgive her LOL for what shes done, because she has done absolutely nothing according to her LOL
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by Lolipa
The next 24 hours will be only the second 24 hours in some time, but I am going to do it. Nice springy day today in the Midwest. Worked on my garden (one of the only things that brings me true inner peace) for 4 hours.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,905
Originally Posted by Lolipa
The next 24 hours will be only the second 24 hours in some time, but I am going to do it. Nice springy day today in the Midwest. Worked on my garden (one of the only things that brings me true inner peace) for 4 hours.
Welcome to SR, Lolipa, and to the 24 Hour Recovery Connection thread; glad you found us.
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