24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 111
 

The last part:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-110-a-21.html

Thanks Dee!

Thanks for the article link Kaneda. A good read. :)

Hi all

Im in for another 24 hours sober!

Just had an upsetting phone call from my narcissistic mother. I stupidly told her Ive given up drinking for good 9 days ago. I didn't go into details as to why. When I heard it was her I should instantly hung up.

I haven't heard from her in 2 years. We have eachothers phone number, emails etc. 2 years ago after a massive row, I told her to never contact me again.

Next minute she launches in to a "Ive you many times and everybody else in the family that youre a shocking alkie, you cant stay away from it" rant! I said "Arrhhh hang on, I NEVER said Im an alcoholic to you though did I. I just said Ive stopped drinking for good".

There was ABSOLUTELY ZERO support or "Well done, good for you, you can do it". And that's NOT because Ive told her that I have stopped many times before. No, Ive never told her that Ive stopped. She lives on the other side of the planet, and I only ever used to see her once a year. She never knew what I drank, or how much. Whenever she cane over I did restrain immensely and only drink a bottle instead of my usual 2, I wasn't even rolling drunk, but she would say "If you can drink a bottle to yourself youre an alcoholic".

Why did I tell her :headbange. Now she WILL be ringing everybody telling them that I AM an alcoholic, she knew it, she was right etc etc etc.

If she was a normal mother then telling her wouldn't be a problem, it would be a good thing. But because she is an evil narcissist then I usually tell her nothing because she uses it against me.

To her alcoholics are bad people, losers etc. In the past when she would tell me that Im an alcoholic, I would say "Well, IF (emphasis on the IF) I am, then its no wonder, I had a shockingly abusive childhood, and that wouldn't make me a bad person, its a disease". She would say "Ohhhh alcoholics chose to drink, its NOT a disease, what a load of rubbish".

She is the most judgemental and closed minded person I know! Im not exaggerating. I don't know anybody as bad as her.

I'm sorry that happened. ((((Cococo))))

Hi Cococo. I found that one of the best things I ever did was tell my mother and my family I had a drinking problem. There was no way I could go at this thing alone. I hope you'll find the support and what you need to make it stick this time. :)

Hi Coco

You obviously havent met my mother ;) For me there is only a few actions I can take with a toxic person; have compassion for their suffering and restrict contact. You can PM me for the website where I have learnt a little about personality disorders and how to treat such poor folks.

Just popped in to collect my next 24 hours. Hope everyone is well 12.54 pm here in Australia. Have a great day everyone :)

OMG you must be kidding! That may have worked for you, telling your mother. But you don't know my mother. You have no idea how insane she is!

I would get ZERO support from her LOL. Never have, never will. She is out for number 1 - narcissist.

Perhaps look up what theyre like.

Any support I get certainly will not be from her. She doesn't do support. But she does do ripping apart and anti-support.

Hi, I think I might know the website. Adult Children of Narcissists! Already a member on there. When I tell people with normal mothers, that have never met my mother, that I actually cant stand her, they just cannot understand, they are seriously bewildered. I know this may sound terrible.....but I don't love or care for her at all. She is so toxic its not funny. And please don't anybody suggest I forgive her LOL for what shes done, because she has done absolutely nothing according to her LOL

The next 24 hours will be only the second 24 hours in some time, but I am going to do it. Nice springy day today in the Midwest. Worked on my garden (one of the only things that brings me true inner peace) for 4 hours.

Welcome Lolipa! :)

Goodie, a new thread. :) These sober days are going by at the speed of light. :)

I'd like another day sober please. :)

My apologies. My response was made before you edited your first post.

Then why do you care she knows?

What are you afraid of? That its out in the open now? Could be the best thing for you right now.

Try to find the positive. :)

I didn't tell her I was an alcoholic actually. I told her I have stopped drinking. I could be pregnant. I could be training for a marathon. Anything.

I don't care that she knows I've stopped drinking. I wouldn't have told her otherwise.

What I care about is her twisting, turning and manipulating what I told her to suit her own sick agenda.

She will be rubbing her hands together so happy and pleased. That's what bothers me. That I've fed the monster!

There is no positive with her. Never has been. Never will be. The only positive is that it's a reminder that I have to change my phone number. Which I've just done. I did tell her not to contact me again but she rung today. She hasnt respected my request or boundaries. She only rings people to pump them for information she can store, spread and use against them.

Hello, checking in for another sober 24. Been a long day, going to bed. Night all!

Back for more!

7:22 PM in the San Juan Islands.

Hi Cococo, I have a good idea of what you're dealing with. I was the oldest so got all the flack. I couldn't do anything right. She slapped me accross the face, pulled my hair, screamed at me, stuck me in my room for hours without food or water. I've been in counselling almost all my adult life. As it turns out I was a target for her anger. It wasn't about me. But, it did a tremendous amount of damage. Just try to keep your distance. That didn't work for me but it might for you. She passed away in 2012. I still find myself waiting for her to explode over some trivality. I hope you find some peace and please remember it's not your fault. Ipanema

Welcome from me too Lolipa! So glad you joined us. :) :hug:

(((Cococo))) ♥

Ahh sweetie, I am so sorry your mother is like that.

You have all of OUR support and love, and we are here for you.
I don't have any parents now....I went through heck with mine too though, and now these guys are my family.

I feel very blessed.

So much love, and huge hugs. ♥

Great job on doing service work Dane! Didn't get to do mine this mth coz Institution rep didn't notify
me & he also switched home groups. Hate it when miss out on it. Congrats celebrants
24 mo