24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 111
Another day 1 but not ready to give up just yet 
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by mcflurry 
24 for me please!
Cococo- I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds like she just doesn't get it. She sounds very quick to judge- bit like my MIL and SIL. How awful, her using you saying about your plans to stop drinking to 'prove' you are an 'alky'. Like its a competition between her and her friends to say 'I told you so.' She's obviously got nothing better to do with her life. Over time you may pity her, but I totally get your anger/upset. And well done for not drinking- an evening with my inlaws was a HUGE trigger for me.
Many people do have the perception that alcoholics are weak willed losers. And yes, when someone is an active alcoholic they may behave in a way that is embarrassing, unreliable and lets people down. So we can understand why that perception may be there.
Thing is, it's not true. Alcoholism is an illness and it is not selective. I have not met anyone on SR who I would consider a 'loser.' I am a doctor and have met many alcoholic patients, active and sober. I would not call any of them 'losers.' And I too am an alcoholic and I wouldn't call myself a 'loser' either! It can affect anyone. It is not down to 'willpower'. If that was the case, there wouldn't be so many of us here. It is an illness, just like diabetes or asthma.
Whether you choose to describe yourself as 'alcoholic' or not is irrelevant. Personally I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. It's not your fault. The main thing is that you are now SOBER. That is something to be proud of. And as time passes you will feel better and better.
If your mum can't be happy and proud for you too, forget about her.
Wishing you all the best and sending you hugs xx
Cococo- I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds like she just doesn't get it. She sounds very quick to judge- bit like my MIL and SIL. How awful, her using you saying about your plans to stop drinking to 'prove' you are an 'alky'. Like its a competition between her and her friends to say 'I told you so.' She's obviously got nothing better to do with her life. Over time you may pity her, but I totally get your anger/upset. And well done for not drinking- an evening with my inlaws was a HUGE trigger for me.
Many people do have the perception that alcoholics are weak willed losers. And yes, when someone is an active alcoholic they may behave in a way that is embarrassing, unreliable and lets people down. So we can understand why that perception may be there.
Thing is, it's not true. Alcoholism is an illness and it is not selective. I have not met anyone on SR who I would consider a 'loser.' I am a doctor and have met many alcoholic patients, active and sober. I would not call any of them 'losers.' And I too am an alcoholic and I wouldn't call myself a 'loser' either! It can affect anyone. It is not down to 'willpower'. If that was the case, there wouldn't be so many of us here. It is an illness, just like diabetes or asthma.
Whether you choose to describe yourself as 'alcoholic' or not is irrelevant. Personally I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. It's not your fault. The main thing is that you are now SOBER. That is something to be proud of. And as time passes you will feel better and better.
If your mum can't be happy and proud for you too, forget about her.
Wishing you all the best and sending you hugs xx
Sorry for the belated reply. I was too wrapped up in my own little emotional world yesterday when you posted this, and later on was too busy to reply. I don't want to drag this all up again. Im just replying.
Thank you very much for your post.
I agree with everything you say.
I hope you didnt think I was saying alcoholics are "losers" and that alcoholism isn't an "illness". I already know this :-) I was saying its my mothers perception.
I don't want to tell anybody that Im an alcoholic in fear of being judged by people that don't know anything about alcoholism., that's all.
If they did know then I would have no problem telling them. I have no problem describing myself as an alcoholic to people who know what it is. I am not ashamed to be an alcoholic. I just don't want to be judged by people who don't know what it is. Most people (including my mother) I know are ignorant and see alcoholics as "losers" and people who chose to drink. Like I said above, I KNOW this is incorrect, but most people I know don't.
I hope youre having a lovely day and thanks again for your wonderful post yesterday.
♥
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