Angie 247's thread - This new sober life part 2
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
I'm so tired of hearing how I do everything wrong by my ex husband. I want to drink but I won't. I did more scream therapy in that abandoned parking lot just by myself. I've asked my brothers to help me by talking to him respectfully but so he knows that I have support and they won't. They don't want to get in the middle. I'm so tired of dealing with him by myself. Is that wrong to ask once after almost ten years of abusive behavior to just talk to him and let him know that my son and I have people who care about us. I don't want money or anything like that. I've never ever asked them for a thing during all of this. I have dealt with this for so long by myself. I'm sorry. Just need to get this out. I won't drink.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
I'm sorry that you are going through this angie. Proud of you for not drinking.
Perhaps you could insist that you and your ex only communicate through texts from now on. That way you will have a record of what he's saying. You can then show it to your lawyer, who can advise you about any legal actions you can take. Depending on what he's saying may be bordering on abuse.
Good luck.
Perhaps you could insist that you and your ex only communicate through texts from now on. That way you will have a record of what he's saying. You can then show it to your lawyer, who can advise you about any legal actions you can take. Depending on what he's saying may be bordering on abuse.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
I've spent the past two days talking care of my son with an ear infection. I've got FMLA at work. Not drinking but I had to contact my lawyer again today because of text messages from his father. I'm hoping we can go home soon. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
I'm very sorry as I relapsed again tonight. I'm very sorry and I'm going to try to go to sleep. My son is with his dad until Tuesday. It's no excuse but I'm very sorry for everything. I'm just very weak. I'm about to drink a big Powerade and knock out for a few hours. I had not drank for over a month. I can't give you the date now. It's back to day one tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Angie - Sorry you drank. What helped me was posting on newcomers, my class thread AND the one year and under group. The more people to relate to and give and get feedback from, the more connected I felt. We'd pm each other to offer and ask for support as well. I also went to AA. At the meetings I go to, the women regularly wrangle numbers for people who identify themselves as newcomers. You can ask the person chairing the meeting for women's phone numbers.
I hope these tips help!
I hope these tips help!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
It's good you came straight back Angie.
I think you need a plan for when you're alone tho - it's more often than not those occasions when you drink again and that makes sense - our AV is at its most persuasive when It/we think we 'can get away with it'.
I think you need to beef up your support - maybe nightly AA meetings when your son is away is a good idea?
Posting here is also great - but it's much much better to do that before you drink , not after.
Please understand I'm not chastising you - I just really want to see you put your addiction in the past where it belongs
D
I think you need a plan for when you're alone tho - it's more often than not those occasions when you drink again and that makes sense - our AV is at its most persuasive when It/we think we 'can get away with it'.
I think you need to beef up your support - maybe nightly AA meetings when your son is away is a good idea?
Posting here is also great - but it's much much better to do that before you drink , not after.
Please understand I'm not chastising you - I just really want to see you put your addiction in the past where it belongs
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 16
The strongest feeling I get from your posts is your loneliness.
That is part of why you drink and I fully get that.
My biggest temptation times are when I need a hug or plain ordinary daily banter. Ironically my house is extremely noisy and busy but it is with kids and not adults. Loneliness is strange...
Don't give up on yourself, you have done so well and don't give that ex of yours any information that he can manipulate for his own means.
He sounds (as does his sister)like someone who has very little emotional maturity or intelligence.
You have that,just use it.
Stop beating yourself up,that part of your life is done.
OK you fell but get back on,you know how much better you felt sober.
Oh and the guilt is just self sabotage so dump it, it will only prolong this relapse.
It's done,sleep and wake up knowing you can do it.
That is part of why you drink and I fully get that.
My biggest temptation times are when I need a hug or plain ordinary daily banter. Ironically my house is extremely noisy and busy but it is with kids and not adults. Loneliness is strange...
Don't give up on yourself, you have done so well and don't give that ex of yours any information that he can manipulate for his own means.
He sounds (as does his sister)like someone who has very little emotional maturity or intelligence.
You have that,just use it.
Stop beating yourself up,that part of your life is done.
OK you fell but get back on,you know how much better you felt sober.
Oh and the guilt is just self sabotage so dump it, it will only prolong this relapse.
It's done,sleep and wake up knowing you can do it.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Sorry to hear that you drank angie.
As others have said, I think you need to come up with a plan or two to deal with the loneliness. Whether in f2f or virtually, you have someone to help give you strength. As Dee said, post or pm someone on SR before you the urge gets to strong.
As for saying that you don't deserve kindness, that is just the AV trying to keep you down. Everyone deserves kindness. We are all on this journey together, we each have to take our own path but, we are all heading to the same destination.
I hope you feel better today.
As others have said, I think you need to come up with a plan or two to deal with the loneliness. Whether in f2f or virtually, you have someone to help give you strength. As Dee said, post or pm someone on SR before you the urge gets to strong.
As for saying that you don't deserve kindness, that is just the AV trying to keep you down. Everyone deserves kindness. We are all on this journey together, we each have to take our own path but, we are all heading to the same destination.
I hope you feel better today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 16
Angle,focus.
You need your job,stop now in case you are over the limit tomorrow.
Just sleep or listen to music, ring your brothers or friends.
You are not happy now,what is going into your mouth is depressing you.
Sleep you will be able and take loads of water, vitamin c1000mg,and get b vitamins tomorrow, they decrease the urge. Alcohol is a depressant, scientific fact and also subjectively, trust me.
Bed,go,and no regrets
You need your job,stop now in case you are over the limit tomorrow.
Just sleep or listen to music, ring your brothers or friends.
You are not happy now,what is going into your mouth is depressing you.
Sleep you will be able and take loads of water, vitamin c1000mg,and get b vitamins tomorrow, they decrease the urge. Alcohol is a depressant, scientific fact and also subjectively, trust me.
Bed,go,and no regrets
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 16
Well done missy, you have beaten it.
I'm really proud of you, bed and tomorrow is a new day with a job and your Elvis waiting on you.
See, you can do it!!!
Start again,1 fall in a month is amazing going, that's your starting point. Avoid the gap the next time,get your mates around.
I'm really proud of you, bed and tomorrow is a new day with a job and your Elvis waiting on you.
See, you can do it!!!
Start again,1 fall in a month is amazing going, that's your starting point. Avoid the gap the next time,get your mates around.
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