One Year and Under Club Part 44
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
BF - I bet you enjoyed your ME day. They are good every once in a while!
Petals - I thought it was my role to endure what other people wanted. Eventually I realized that I deserve to be happy, to do activities that I enjoy, free of alcohol. It took me a long time to realize that my life is mine to live.... And once I realized that incredible truth, it took quite a bit of time to figure out how to do that, happily, with purpose, without resentment.
For example, I don't go to AA "at" my husband, to show him that I'm independent, after years of him trying to squash me down. I go to AA for me, to grow spiritually and emotionally, to cultivate my inner peace.
The bitter bug of resentment does try to weasel its way to my intentions from time to time, but today I have my recovery program - and members of the program - to redirect me when I'm pursuing resentment rather than peace. I am really thankful that I opened my mind to this way of life!
Petals - I thought it was my role to endure what other people wanted. Eventually I realized that I deserve to be happy, to do activities that I enjoy, free of alcohol. It took me a long time to realize that my life is mine to live.... And once I realized that incredible truth, it took quite a bit of time to figure out how to do that, happily, with purpose, without resentment.
For example, I don't go to AA "at" my husband, to show him that I'm independent, after years of him trying to squash me down. I go to AA for me, to grow spiritually and emotionally, to cultivate my inner peace.
The bitter bug of resentment does try to weasel its way to my intentions from time to time, but today I have my recovery program - and members of the program - to redirect me when I'm pursuing resentment rather than peace. I am really thankful that I opened my mind to this way of life!
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Originally Posted by gleefan 
1. It took me a long time to realize that my life is mine to live....
2. And once I realized that incredible truth, it took quite a bit of time to figure out how to do that, happily, with purpose, without resentment.
3. - to redirect me when I'm pursuing resentment rather than peace. I am really thankful that I opened my mind to this way of life!
2. And once I realized that incredible truth, it took quite a bit of time to figure out how to do that, happily, with purpose, without resentment.
3. - to redirect me when I'm pursuing resentment rather than peace. I am really thankful that I opened my mind to this way of life!
I also agree that it is a progression and that it takes time to move through those progressions.
For me now...learning to feel good about my decisions without resentments started the day that I adopted rigorous honesty as a way of life. I yam what I yam...no more facades necessary...hence - FREEDOM!
In AA the first step is admitting to be powerless and loss of control from alcohol. A tough pill for many to swallow...wasn't for me though. However, I think my first step was a commitment to rigorous honesty...mostly to myself.
That's why How It Works starts with, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do
not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program,
usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves..."
Those are some powerful words for my recovery!!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
Carlos---I don't know what it is---but every time I read your thread a light bulb goes off. thank you.
Glee---you said it like it is too !!!
I've been doing well----but, have my moments ---
it's been 8 weeks today--and every day counts for me.
have a great week=end everyone and again hugs to all of you
Babs
Glee---you said it like it is too !!!
I've been doing well----but, have my moments ---
it's been 8 weeks today--and every day counts for me.
have a great week=end everyone and again hugs to all of you
Babs
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Babs, congratulations on 8 weeks!
During my first months, every day was a victory. Now each day is still a victory and it is getting easier. That simple statement of " no thanks, I don't drink", said in a positive and definite tone, has never resulted in further suggestions to have one. Most of the time I'm now cruising along but I know the AV can pounce anytime. I no longer feel like I'm on high alert but when I know I will be in a situation where I think a drink might be offered, I think it through in advance. The last instance was a case I hadn't foreseen but those 5 words have become so automatic that they popped out before I could think :-)
During my first months, every day was a victory. Now each day is still a victory and it is getting easier. That simple statement of " no thanks, I don't drink", said in a positive and definite tone, has never resulted in further suggestions to have one. Most of the time I'm now cruising along but I know the AV can pounce anytime. I no longer feel like I'm on high alert but when I know I will be in a situation where I think a drink might be offered, I think it through in advance. The last instance was a case I hadn't foreseen but those 5 words have become so automatic that they popped out before I could think :-)
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Good morning, Undies!
Lately I was mulling about my feelings and thoughts about staying sober. Since I've moved to the old folks playground where almost no one knows me as a drinker (had a glass of wine twice when I visited a year ago), I've found, as I previously related that the phrase "No thanks, I don't drink" is remarkably effective. I've seen others post about people being pushy about offering drinks even when we say no. I'm beginning to think that saying that specific phrase clearly, calmly and with at least an outward appearance of certainty has always been 100% effective so far. With any particular individual, after that first direct statement, I usual just say "no thanks" if they offer on a later occasion.
Now I'm finding a huge other benefit. My identity as a non-drinker keeps getting stronger as I say this. I think I've discovered a positive cycle that has simply pulled me out of the muck and just keeps getting stronger and stronger very rapidly. How I'm feeling now reminds me of Toots' certainty about not drinking ever. It feels so incredibly freeing! It feels like a gigantic leap in a relatively short time span :-)
Lately I was mulling about my feelings and thoughts about staying sober. Since I've moved to the old folks playground where almost no one knows me as a drinker (had a glass of wine twice when I visited a year ago), I've found, as I previously related that the phrase "No thanks, I don't drink" is remarkably effective. I've seen others post about people being pushy about offering drinks even when we say no. I'm beginning to think that saying that specific phrase clearly, calmly and with at least an outward appearance of certainty has always been 100% effective so far. With any particular individual, after that first direct statement, I usual just say "no thanks" if they offer on a later occasion.
Now I'm finding a huge other benefit. My identity as a non-drinker keeps getting stronger as I say this. I think I've discovered a positive cycle that has simply pulled me out of the muck and just keeps getting stronger and stronger very rapidly. How I'm feeling now reminds me of Toots' certainty about not drinking ever. It feels so incredibly freeing! It feels like a gigantic leap in a relatively short time span :-)
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Hey Undies,
Happy weekend.
Need to do a rapid fire post...must get shopping to buy some pi/pie stuff. A good friend turns 36 years today and some of us are baking pies because he likes pie and it is National Pi Day.
Sask, I loved your post. You go non drinking girl!!
Babs, congrats on the 8 weeks of clean and sober!
Hum, that's it for feedback of posts on recovery since yesterday? Where is everyone...Vand, Glee, BF, LS, Petals and various over-unders...how is the recovery/life on life's terms intersection today?
I'm at peace today. Have some stuff to do for tonight's mtg and get ready to leave on a business trip tomorrow morning. This waking up without chaos thing is interesting!
Carlos
Happy weekend.
Need to do a rapid fire post...must get shopping to buy some pi/pie stuff. A good friend turns 36 years today and some of us are baking pies because he likes pie and it is National Pi Day.
Sask, I loved your post. You go non drinking girl!!
Babs, congrats on the 8 weeks of clean and sober!
Hum, that's it for feedback of posts on recovery since yesterday? Where is everyone...Vand, Glee, BF, LS, Petals and various over-unders...how is the recovery/life on life's terms intersection today?
I'm at peace today. Have some stuff to do for tonight's mtg and get ready to leave on a business trip tomorrow morning. This waking up without chaos thing is interesting!
Carlos
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Today life's terms include having pulled an intercostal muscle from strenuous weight training making it painful to breathe too deeply, which is a minor shame as I wanted to train today. Boo hoo.
Might of put me down in the dumps in the past, HOWEVER! The AA'ers will be proud of me as I practised acceptance and gratitude of this situation and put physical training to one side for the day, instead I used the time to do a big monthly shop then reorganise the spice cupboard and pickle cupboard as they were getting ludicrously overcrowded and disorganised.
I think I could of done with this day off of training anyway as I have become a little overtrained from doing my own workout routine alongside PT'ing for my sister.
Life has a way of putting the brakes on for you sometimes.
Oh I also did not and will not consume alcohol today.
Hope all are well out there
Peace and strength
Might of put me down in the dumps in the past, HOWEVER! The AA'ers will be proud of me as I practised acceptance and gratitude of this situation and put physical training to one side for the day, instead I used the time to do a big monthly shop then reorganise the spice cupboard and pickle cupboard as they were getting ludicrously overcrowded and disorganised.
I think I could of done with this day off of training anyway as I have become a little overtrained from doing my own workout routine alongside PT'ing for my sister.
Life has a way of putting the brakes on for you sometimes.
Oh I also did not and will not consume alcohol today.
Hope all are well out there
Peace and strength
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