Dee74

last part here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2011-a-20.html

D

MIBluebird

Manz...sorry to hear how stressful the move has been and I hope the weekend calms down for you. I don't know what your situation is but don't feel bad about moving in with your Sis. About 5 years ago I had to move in with my Mom because of financial reasons due to my divorce, or at least that's what I liked to blame it on when it was probably due to poor choices because of my drinking. It was good for both of us because Mom had Alzheimer's Disease but very hard for me to give up my privacy and embarrassing that at 48 years old I was living with Mom. Now she's gone and those memories are precious to me and it was such a small part of my life. You are going through some major events in your life while attempting to stay sober and that's HUGE. You need to be very proud of yourself and make sure you take care of YOU. Here are some smilies to make you feel better....


I'm off to get my hair done and then to volunteer for Special Olympics. This is one of the things that I've added to my life to help me stay sober and it's one of the best things I've ever done. They do so much more for me then I do for them. When I get home, my obnoxious Italian sister-in-law (nothing against Italians) will be here and I will have to deal with her without LOTS of wine. I've known her for 3 years and this is the first time that I will be with her sober!!

Kevin...hope you are having a good weekend and doing well!

Magic disappeared...I miss her.

Dee...thanks for your constant support. What you give to everyone here is amazing.

Manz

Hey All,

MIB thanks for the supportive words. I had a terrible day yesterday, after moving and feeling so emotional, my sister tells me that i cant stay as long as originally discussed, a lot less in fact, and am now forced to find a CHEAP place ASAP. Wow, aint life interesting.

Top that off with a disagreement with my sons father when I droppped him of....the day sucked! Walking back to my sisters, in tears, angry tired and so sad...I of course thought about drinking. Gah!

I am proud of myself that I remain sober, despite thinking a few times theses last couple of days that a drink would really help. It has been incredibly difficult, but if there is only one thing that goes RIGHT just now.....it is going to be my sobriety. It seems that is one of the only things I can control right now. Otherwise....rolling with the punches.

MIB..I hope your sis-in-law isn't too icredibly frustrating for you, give her the finger in your head...should make you smile!!!

Kev..where are you man? Hope all is well and you aren't moping too much...

Dee...you rock. Enough said. LOL

Keep it up guys, i miss magic too, I hope she is alright.

Rock on.........(I'm not even a rocker, lol, just love the saying!)

Dee74

I'm sorry the sis thing isn't going fly for long Manz - but maybe it's just as well?
Hope the hairdo is great MIB - and thanks to you both

D

Manz

Many many decisions to make for moving forward with life....funny how it never stops huh! Too many to discuss, except major one..where to live???

MIB hope it all went well with the sis out-law..LOL Bet you did great without booze, what was she like from a sober perspective?

Kev....hope you are feeling less stressed, dont worry about other people in chat hun. You cant control other peoples thoughts or feelings... only your reactions to them. Something I am learning myself. Hugs

Hugs Love and Light to one and all..........and Rock On People

LeadHatter

Manz thanks for your concern hun, i was posting frequently for a bit on this thread but i didn't want to drown out other contributers so took time out.

I'm often on here though. I have started a blog also but im active also on the under 6months club and codependency and beyond threads. Drop me a message anytime.

About how i am im ok, i feel i belong here and people 'get' me so that does make it easier to bring sr into balance but i am retraining myself out of some pretty severe codependent habits huni :>

MIBluebird

Happy Monday everyone. The visit with my sister-in-law went fine...probably because the first thing she did was comment on how good I looked and that I had lost weight. That will warm my heart every time. Being with her sober was okay...but I definitely crashed when they left so it obviously took it's toll.

Manz...there are so many decisions to make moving forward with life and it is scary. I'm remarried and live in a nice house...but I'm not happy with my relationship and there may very well be a move in my future also. I guess I look at it like it's this road we are temporarily on to finally get to where we really want to be. Doesn't take the scariness away though. And, we can't hide behind the alcohol anymore which makes for better choices but too much damn thinking!

Kevin...good to see you here again. Never too many posts, if it helps you then it's a good thing! I missed SR this weekend. It feels like my lifeline when I need to get away from things and I'm so thankful for the support and that the thought of drinking to block everything out is starting to subside.

Wishing everyone a spectacular day!

Manz

Yah MIB, great comments about how good we look and our weight reduction will never go astray!!! No matter how often I hear them..... they can keep coming lol. Glad to hear it was a good visit with sis in law.

Kev.... you will be fine my friend, you seem to be doing great, feel free to post as often as you like.

I am over looking for somewhere to live, over the whole process! But I am sober and happy about that. Happy to have some great friends now who are nourishing me and supporting me. And happy to be still on the journey.

Keep it up everyone.

MIBluebird

It can be a double edged sword though. When I think I look good, I want to dress up and go out, and drink. This was my pattern for over 30 years.

Another day sober and it feels good. Lunch with my son today (he's 21) that I'm looking forward to. My kids are so happy that I'm sober. I didn't think I had a problem when they were young but now looking back, I really did and I had no idea the impact that my drinking had on them.

We are doing great and I too am thankful that we have one another to share the journey with. I look forward to the posts...they are a big part of what keeps me going.

LeadHatter

Thanks for the encouragement

Today started slow, I have been doing lots of therapy on myself working on boundaries, understanding how [not] not become a codependent rescuer.

Fortunately my friend texted me so got I up out of bed with some hope and after having a good chat with her and was onto a winning start. I am testing out my new habits in this friendship. Shes a good friend also, thick and thin so im pleased to be adding lots of practical and emotional goodies to the friendship right now, and its working. I dont worry half what i used to do with her, i speak my mind where i cannot hurt her and we help eachother out. I quite like the cat :P so it was a great start well a little reward in one

Today i was helping her and yesterday the other way around so onto a winner r we-weheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:p

As I grow i am finding my relationships improving, becoming more rewarding

Next my mother rang. Turns out my grandfather took a turn downwards in hospital so I have just came from there now. It went well but im not happy with all. Mostly was good.

Manz thanks for the grats and bluebird i know relationships can be difficult

Manz

MIB, you have made me think about the impact of my drinking on my son, and I can honestly say, thank goodness I have caught it early enough that his life has not been unduly affected. He is 4, and my hardcore drinking was only for 2 years of his little life. And thankfully, apart from a couple of rather serious occasions(that he was not even aware of, but that I will always feel a little remorse over) he has not been aware.

I was a stay at home, night time solo drinker.....so in these later years. So looking good and going out, not my trigger. MIB, find another rewarding thing to do when you go out....dress up and have a nice dinner with friends?

Kev, isnt it great how being sober makes it so much easier to develop rewarding and fun friendships and connections with people. HAH! For years in the past I thought I needed the booze to be able to socialise. Foolish in hindsight.

I have just had breakfast, and am contemplating my day.... A trip to the benefits office, Oh Joy, supermarket, real estate agents to house hunt, and a long call to the tax department. Sound like fun to anyone????

Thankful to be sober and happy you are here with my guys.

Dee74

Hope your grandfather will be ok Kevin.

Courage for you Manz with your day

D

LeadHatter

Hey everyone just finding it so hard to dig deep. Seems like i am learning alot at the moment but idk its like the wind keeps getting knocked out of my sails. My grandfather has passed now. Even in so doing it was almost like he was doing me a favour as when we all went to see him yesterday it gave me an oppertunity to see family members and parade the new improved me.

He has been a big character in our family. Other than that I had been intending to move on

Good for you Manz for stopping[drinking alcohol nasty stuff it it i dont like it at all muha], if you keep seeking support when you feel weak, work hard and actively in your recovery and get some luck you may never need to quit alcohol again.

MIB associations exist true but although looking good may trigger thoughts of going out presently it dont always have to be so im sure you get this hon.

I like looking good. Day 95

MIBluebird

Hey everyone...another sober day and I'm happy. I'm finally starting to feel it and not thinking about how I'm going to live a life without alcohol but instead thinking about all of the things I can now experience because I don't drink!

Manz....your sweet boy will never know and how great you stopped now so you can appreciate these precious years. The true damage is when they see Mom throwing up, passed out on the floor, emotionally absent, my list could go on and on. Good news is that kids are forgiving and love us unconditionally, and even though mine are adults, they still need me and I can finally be there 100% for them.

Kevin...I'm so sorry about your Grandfather. Any loss is painful but it sounds like being sober has helped you to accept and deal with it in a way you probably wouldn't have in the past. You're doing great!

The dogs think I look good this morning...and that's enough for me today. I wasn't that attractive on a bar stool anyway.

Manz

Hey guys, was woken up this morning with a text from a considerate friend in the states at 5am.... my bad for leaving the darn thing on, not something I usually do.

Was the best feeling to hear my boy running down the hallway and come jumping in bed with me for a cuddle an hour or so later. I love to be sober and be able to enjoy his little arms snaking around my neck and hear him tell me he loves me. Life is good at those moments.

MIB.. so glad your grown up kids still need and love you...all that counts my friend.

Kev... once again mate, condolences, so sorry for your loss. Glad you are seeing some positive in it, great progress.

Went to see a house today to rent.... GAH! horrid and depressing. Will wait for something much better....sure it will come right?

I know there is something that I have forgotten to do......what could it be??????

Keep on rocking guys

LeadHatter

Well as you know my grandfather has recently passed. I don't know now that there IS an afterlife, I would like to think so i suspect there Is and it fits my [hindu christian] belief systems to assume that there is. Really?

Dee74

I believe this life is a transition to something else, Kevin - I have no proof of that of course, but my faith that it's so sustains me

D

MIBluebird

Precious moments Manz...I can't say it enough. Good luck with the house hunting...I know that's not a fun thing to do. Hoping that the perfect house turns up for you and your boy.

Kev...I do believe in a higher power and afterlife. Without that belief, it's hard to get through the things life throws at us.

Just got an iPhone and I never knew it could be such great entertainment. I'm currently involved in 4 games of scrabble which is interfering with my work! Things that currently interfere with my work: iPhone (check, check, check), SR (check, check), three golden retrievers (check), internet shopping (check)...and lots of other distractions as a result of working from home. The good news is I'm no longer hungover so my brain is functioning when I work!

Happy Happy Day all.

Manz

Sun is shining, blue skies, warm... i worked out in the sun..and am loving the endorphins! It is so good both for me physically.... but most importantly for me mentally. I feel lighter of spirit after I have been out and in nature(Kinda now, I miss my huge park now I have moved)..it gives me space to breathe and contemplate whatever I want..or nothing but the things that are around me. This has become a large part of my recovery....and its all for me!

I miss my son, as he is back with his dad already, as I am now with another friend for a few nights, booted out of sisters as workmen were there. Sigh.

Its is truly interesting to look at my life now, sober. I am in a difficult situation...worst I have been in many mnay years. No job, no home..single and alone a lot of the time. But I am truly thankful to be able to manage all of that because I am sober. I am not happy about it... dont get me wrong.... I am not that chilled really.... LOL. But I can cope and not dive back down a pit of despair, depression and drinking.

Wow... I am going in the right direction I think guys.

MIB... back away from the iphone.. LOL

Kev...you will figure it all out. Have faith about that at least.

Dee... Love the new avi. Heehee

Rock On my friends

mtnmagic

Wanted to pop in and say hello. I have been busy dealing with real life and
while I've been around every day, it was a bit here or there and not really
giving SR the attention I normally do. (And this is very important that I continue to do). So I need to take some time and catch up with all the posts that I have missed.

It's the wee hours of the morning for me, so I'll wander back after a couple of hours of sleep (I hope) and check back in after I read how you all are doing.

I will have 11 weeks sober this Saturday and that is completely amazing to me. Lot's of ups and downs as you my friends, well understand, but to put this many 24 hours together, well I never believed I could for the longest time, and this is only the beginning for us all.

So I will be back....sweet dreams to all of you.