One Year and Under Club Part 43
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Grace, lovely to see you here, I know you have a lot on your plate these days, but I am glad you made time to visit.
Much love my Undie friends, make your sober plans for the weekend and keep your resolve strengthened by sticking close.
Much love my Undie friends, make your sober plans for the weekend and keep your resolve strengthened by sticking close.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Grace! How very wonderful to see you!
Your life certainly is full and challenging, to put it mildly.
I grieve for you about the deterioration of your father, and I am moved by the extent of your care for him. I am caring for my 90-y-o dad who displays more dementia every day, and I know how maddening it is and how despairing you must feel--except yours must be despair to the nth degree!
I am so glad that you've finally got little O in your care. I hope he is still bringing you joy, though I know how much harder it is to look after my grandkids than it was my kids. You have had to make a huge psychic adjustment at this phase of life, and I admire you so much for it.
I am terribly sorry about your son. I pray that whatever dire circumstance may befall him will lead to his bottoming out and turning his life around. It must be very sad for you.
I am so glad to see you. You are a bright light on every thread you're on!
Your life certainly is full and challenging, to put it mildly.
I grieve for you about the deterioration of your father, and I am moved by the extent of your care for him. I am caring for my 90-y-o dad who displays more dementia every day, and I know how maddening it is and how despairing you must feel--except yours must be despair to the nth degree!
I am so glad that you've finally got little O in your care. I hope he is still bringing you joy, though I know how much harder it is to look after my grandkids than it was my kids. You have had to make a huge psychic adjustment at this phase of life, and I admire you so much for it.
I am terribly sorry about your son. I pray that whatever dire circumstance may befall him will lead to his bottoming out and turning his life around. It must be very sad for you.
I am so glad to see you. You are a bright light on every thread you're on!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Grace, I still remember you from the time a couple of years ago when I popped into the Undies during the time I was in a miserable sober/relapse cycle. I don't think I was open to much then and didn't feel I "fit" here with the Undies. After I got through my first 3 months of sobriety, I came back here and have stayed ever since. It's so good to see you come by though I am sorry to hear about your dad!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Grace....Wow....great to see a post from you.......It is weird I was actually thinking about you this morning. How supportive you have been and was wondering how you were doing!.....Glad to read your post......
Babs....glad you are doing better and 1 Month...keep going...
Jim
Babs....glad you are doing better and 1 Month...keep going...
Jim
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Good morning undies.
8 months sober today. The longest I've ever been sober. I can't believe it's ready been 8 months and thank you to each and everyone of you for all of your support and kindness thru this journey.
Off to womp
8 months sober today. The longest I've ever been sober. I can't believe it's ready been 8 months and thank you to each and everyone of you for all of your support and kindness thru this journey.
Off to womp
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
hi !!!BF---congratulations on 8 months---that's great.
Grace----so happy to see you post. I hope things start turning around for you
Please take care of yourself. hugs to you
Hi there Jim nice to see you post too---
well, my lovely undies----Have a great week-end.
I love coming here and getting encouragement from everyone,
I'm like Sass and a few others on here---it's great just being able
to come back after a few relapses
hugs
Babs
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
HI again all, hope you've had a good Friday and making sober plans for over the weekend.
Thank you Trachemys, I'm glad I checked in too.
Gleefan, you're so right in what you say about sharing with each other. I have a bad habit of isolating myself when I'm under stress and it really isn't a good thing to do. Sometimes other people see things in a different light and sharing helps realise that there is more than one way to deal with a problem. Just checking in here last night has made me feel better in myself.
Thank you Carlos my fellow warrior, I intend checking in as often as I can and thank you also for your kind words and common sense attitude.
Hi Vandermast, good to see you here, don't think I've 'met' you before. I hope all is going well with you.xx
Thanks Dee and ditto. Good to see you still here keeping your undies under control.
Hope you had a good restful sleep B.F. Fab to see you still here too.
Good to see you too Drake. xx
Lovely to see you too Toots and I will email you first chance I get. Missed you. I'm glad to be back, it's like coming home.
Thank you so much for those kind words Gilmer, I appreciate them. I'm sorry to hear that your dad too has Dementia, it is such a terrible disease and I hope he and you don't suffer too much. My dad is very poorly right now, he's had a chest infection and has lots so much weight. He's like a frail skeleton of his former self. Heart breaking.
Yes it is very sad about my son, but I've had to harden myself up to the way he is otherwise he would take me down with him. I've had to stop being co-dependent and stop making excuses for him. He blames me for every single thing that has gone wrong in his life and I have to tell remind myself everyday that he is a grown man and has to take responsibility for his actions. Not easy but I'm getting better at it by the day! Luckily I have a lovely daughter and son in law. xxx
It's lovely to see you posting here Saskia, it's always been the best group and I'm sooo glad you're sticking with it. Sounds like you're doing really well.
Hey Jim, so pleased too that you're still here and strangely enough when I checking in last night I was looking for you! How's it going?
B.F 8 months is a fantastic achievement. Hope you've treated yourself to something nice. Keep on womping. God I love that word, womp, womp, womp.
Thanks Babs and you just keep on going, never give up, you will do this believe me. If you want it badly enough you will do it. xxx
Hello Soberleigh, nice to meet you and I hope to get to know you better.
Anyway, I've had a busy day today, ( nothing new there), had a big flood in the bathroom about 4 wks ago which leaked into the kitchen and have had dehumidifiers in ever since, so noisy, it's like living on a building site. The contractors came in today and ripped my wall cupboards and tiles off in the kitchen. They ripped the floor tiles up in the bathroom and kitchen a fortnight ago. The bathroom is finally dry but the kitchen is still very damp. I'm getting used to roughing it now, must be nearly as bad as camping. Lol.
Anyway I'm off for a bath now. See you all very soon.
Sleep well and love to you all.
Gxxxx
Thank you Trachemys, I'm glad I checked in too.
Gleefan, you're so right in what you say about sharing with each other. I have a bad habit of isolating myself when I'm under stress and it really isn't a good thing to do. Sometimes other people see things in a different light and sharing helps realise that there is more than one way to deal with a problem. Just checking in here last night has made me feel better in myself.
Thank you Carlos my fellow warrior, I intend checking in as often as I can and thank you also for your kind words and common sense attitude.
Hi Vandermast, good to see you here, don't think I've 'met' you before. I hope all is going well with you.xx
Thanks Dee and ditto. Good to see you still here keeping your undies under control.
Hope you had a good restful sleep B.F. Fab to see you still here too.
Good to see you too Drake. xx
Lovely to see you too Toots and I will email you first chance I get. Missed you. I'm glad to be back, it's like coming home.
Thank you so much for those kind words Gilmer, I appreciate them. I'm sorry to hear that your dad too has Dementia, it is such a terrible disease and I hope he and you don't suffer too much. My dad is very poorly right now, he's had a chest infection and has lots so much weight. He's like a frail skeleton of his former self. Heart breaking.
Yes it is very sad about my son, but I've had to harden myself up to the way he is otherwise he would take me down with him. I've had to stop being co-dependent and stop making excuses for him. He blames me for every single thing that has gone wrong in his life and I have to tell remind myself everyday that he is a grown man and has to take responsibility for his actions. Not easy but I'm getting better at it by the day! Luckily I have a lovely daughter and son in law. xxx
It's lovely to see you posting here Saskia, it's always been the best group and I'm sooo glad you're sticking with it. Sounds like you're doing really well.
Hey Jim, so pleased too that you're still here and strangely enough when I checking in last night I was looking for you! How's it going?
B.F 8 months is a fantastic achievement. Hope you've treated yourself to something nice. Keep on womping. God I love that word, womp, womp, womp.
Thanks Babs and you just keep on going, never give up, you will do this believe me. If you want it badly enough you will do it. xxx
Hello Soberleigh, nice to meet you and I hope to get to know you better.
Anyway, I've had a busy day today, ( nothing new there), had a big flood in the bathroom about 4 wks ago which leaked into the kitchen and have had dehumidifiers in ever since, so noisy, it's like living on a building site. The contractors came in today and ripped my wall cupboards and tiles off in the kitchen. They ripped the floor tiles up in the bathroom and kitchen a fortnight ago. The bathroom is finally dry but the kitchen is still very damp. I'm getting used to roughing it now, must be nearly as bad as camping. Lol.
Anyway I'm off for a bath now. See you all very soon.
Sleep well and love to you all.
Gxxxx
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
I can use the stove Gilmer but the extractor thingy has gone. Hmm a luxurious bath in a bathroom with no floor and half the wall tiles hanging off, yeah right, lol. Got my best bubble stuff in it though. Xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by Grace2 
I can use the stove Gilmer but the extractor thingy has gone. Hmm a luxurious bath in a bathroom with no floor and half the wall tiles hanging off, yeah right, lol. Got my best bubble stuff in it though. Xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hi Undies,
First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS BoozeFree on 8 months sober! I am impressed with your commitment to sobriety and your resolve to stay sober during life's challenges. It's wonderful to get to watch you grow your sober wings.
Saskia - I've been thinking about you a lot. I know you're probably busy getting settled into your new home. I know your new neighbors have been gracious about you declining their invitations to join them in a drink. What are you doing to stay on the beam while you manage the stress of living in a new environment, integrating into a new social scene, and living among drinkers? My friends don't pressure me to join them, either, but I find I need to actively address it in my thoughts, on SR, or in discussions with other people in recovery (not out loud to my friends who drink). Like I said to Grace, nothing good ever came of me keeping my feelings to myself.
SL - You have a real gift for evoking mental imagery. Thanks for that mental vacation.
It's nice to celebrate our sober time, but it's also important to remember where we came from. An old friend is in the hospital with kidney and liver failure and internal bleeding due to alcoholism; I found out the other night this is his FOURTH hospitalization for this. Every time he goes, he detoxes, stabilizes in the hospital, then goes to a nursing home to work on walking and feeding himself independently. He is 45 years old. He was always a very bright, athletic guy, and in the past two years he's lost the ability to carry on a lucid conversation, hold a job, spend time with his children independently. His sister and brother-in-law who he was always very close with have gone no-contact with him, as well as all but one of his friends. A mutual friend saw his ex wife at school, and said she looks terrible. Her alcoholism is well hidden, but she developed health issues in the past couple of years and looks terribly sick and feeble. She is 46.
I don't care if you call alcoholism a disease or an addiction, an affliction or a choice. The bottom line is that alcoholism is deadly, will ruin your life, and destroy everything in its path.
The only thing we need to do is not drink, one day at a time. There have been days where my only accomplishment was that I didn't drink that day. When you look at people like my friends, who are in alcohol's stranglehold, you see what an amazing accomplishment not drinking for one day is. I am grateful for every day that I don't drink.
I had hundreds of "Day Ones", where I told myself I wasn't going to drink, but did - often the same day that I had promised myself I'd stop. People who claim my friends are to blame for their conditions have never felt the pain that you and I have of alcohol's stranglehold. I work hard at my recovery, at staying on the beam, and I rely on each and every one of you to keep me on the path to peace, serenity, joy, happiness, and freedom.
What an amazing way this is to live - to be happy, satisfied, and authentically myself. My hope every day is that I find a way to share the spark that I've discovered in recovery with the people in my life. What a difference from spending my days feeling dissatisfied and not enough.
First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS BoozeFree on 8 months sober! I am impressed with your commitment to sobriety and your resolve to stay sober during life's challenges. It's wonderful to get to watch you grow your sober wings.
Saskia - I've been thinking about you a lot. I know you're probably busy getting settled into your new home. I know your new neighbors have been gracious about you declining their invitations to join them in a drink. What are you doing to stay on the beam while you manage the stress of living in a new environment, integrating into a new social scene, and living among drinkers? My friends don't pressure me to join them, either, but I find I need to actively address it in my thoughts, on SR, or in discussions with other people in recovery (not out loud to my friends who drink). Like I said to Grace, nothing good ever came of me keeping my feelings to myself.
SL - You have a real gift for evoking mental imagery. Thanks for that mental vacation.
It's nice to celebrate our sober time, but it's also important to remember where we came from. An old friend is in the hospital with kidney and liver failure and internal bleeding due to alcoholism; I found out the other night this is his FOURTH hospitalization for this. Every time he goes, he detoxes, stabilizes in the hospital, then goes to a nursing home to work on walking and feeding himself independently. He is 45 years old. He was always a very bright, athletic guy, and in the past two years he's lost the ability to carry on a lucid conversation, hold a job, spend time with his children independently. His sister and brother-in-law who he was always very close with have gone no-contact with him, as well as all but one of his friends. A mutual friend saw his ex wife at school, and said she looks terrible. Her alcoholism is well hidden, but she developed health issues in the past couple of years and looks terribly sick and feeble. She is 46.
I don't care if you call alcoholism a disease or an addiction, an affliction or a choice. The bottom line is that alcoholism is deadly, will ruin your life, and destroy everything in its path.
The only thing we need to do is not drink, one day at a time. There have been days where my only accomplishment was that I didn't drink that day. When you look at people like my friends, who are in alcohol's stranglehold, you see what an amazing accomplishment not drinking for one day is. I am grateful for every day that I don't drink.
I had hundreds of "Day Ones", where I told myself I wasn't going to drink, but did - often the same day that I had promised myself I'd stop. People who claim my friends are to blame for their conditions have never felt the pain that you and I have of alcohol's stranglehold. I work hard at my recovery, at staying on the beam, and I rely on each and every one of you to keep me on the path to peace, serenity, joy, happiness, and freedom.
What an amazing way this is to live - to be happy, satisfied, and authentically myself. My hope every day is that I find a way to share the spark that I've discovered in recovery with the people in my life. What a difference from spending my days feeling dissatisfied and not enough.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Thanks for caring, Glee! My two main supports right now are SR and my new pdoc who I saw today. Cravings are minimal and infrequent now. That said, I know I need to keep my recovery front and center. I feel that I am firmly establishing my identity as a non-drinker and that has become a positive feedback loop. Once the weather is better I plan to re-start going to AA meetings and establishing connections that way. I have other resources, including a top-notch addiction counselor. Knowing that I will be seeing my pdoc on a regular basis and knowing he will ask about my drinking, coupled with my "rigorous honesty" (not my own description), is a huge deterrent.
I've had formal training in using a variety of tools including meditation, visualization, self-hypnosis, etc. These are all helping now that I've been sober for a bit. I know it's risky to become overconfident and also know that I've gone long periods of time without drinking before. No matter how many resources we have and use, we will always be at risk. I'm working hard on reshaping my thinking so that I will deeply think of myself as a permanent non-drinker.
And finally, there are many life challenges I have dealt with through years of therapy after a severely traumatic childhood. Much of the work I've done has given me the tools to better manage my life now :-)
I've had formal training in using a variety of tools including meditation, visualization, self-hypnosis, etc. These are all helping now that I've been sober for a bit. I know it's risky to become overconfident and also know that I've gone long periods of time without drinking before. No matter how many resources we have and use, we will always be at risk. I'm working hard on reshaping my thinking so that I will deeply think of myself as a permanent non-drinker.
And finally, there are many life challenges I have dealt with through years of therapy after a severely traumatic childhood. Much of the work I've done has given me the tools to better manage my life now :-)
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