Class of November 2014 Part 3
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
Hi all! Just checking in. I just made an extremely disappointing salad for myself, and a beautiful pizza for the kids, so I'm kind of blowing off my crappy salad in favor of leftover pizza. My husband called to ask what's for dinner...ugh, dinner is over, dude! 
Other than that, no desire to drink at all. I hope everyone is doing well tonight.
Other than that, no desire to drink at all. I hope everyone is doing well tonight.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Northern Australia
Posts: 197
Hi everyone, it's Saturday morning here and the beginning of day 6 for me. I have read through your last couple of pages of posts with interest, empathy and the occasional laugh. Many posts brought to mind a comment but I don't feel like I'm really familiar enough with you all to do so yet. I love how many of you acknowledge other members of this group and their situation, offering comments of support, encouragement or humour. It's nice to be akcnowledged. Cristina made a comment on my fabulous chicken and chocolate dinner the other night and I felt like I had been... seen. Recognised. Throughout the forum, Soberwolf is another one who always takes the time to offer a short comment of encouragement or information. As I continue being a part of this SR community I hope to be able to offer the same to others. Thanks to each and every one of you.
Now, where am I at? A very interesting place! The last 5 days since I came home from hospital (another story) I have returned to work and for the last 3 nights have been attending rehearsals. Tonight, I am giving a classical concert with our Chorale (Choir). I am playing in their small chamber orchestra, as well as presenting a piece with my string quartet. An alcoholic classical musician? I don't know how I get away with it, despite being a good musician. The main problem has been shaky hands. In fact, for several years I declined to play in classical ensembles due to this. I still taught, and students would comment on my shaky hands. It's very difficult to play Vivaldi or the like with shaky hands, so no gigs for a long time. Quit the orchestra years ago because of this, and also because it cut into my drinking time (generally evening rehearsals and concerts). I'd do the odd pub gigs instead, folk or contemporary, as after a couple of beers the shakes would subside and I'd be able to play this far less challenging (for me) music. Anyway, that's another story again. I might start a blog.
I'm looking forward to this concert tonight. Although I only have 6 days now, before my previous couple of months drinking, I had about a month off and physically I'm better off than the last few attempts, when I was trying to give up after months or years of constant daily drinking. Although I've relapsed too many times to count, I believe I'm further down the road to sobriety now in a very real way. It makes me feel very happy this morning.
I've also been taking valium for the last 5 days, but have tapered off quite a bit. It helped with the initial withdrawals A LOT but now It just makes me feel muddy and disconnected. I had one last night before bed and woke up groggy as anything. I think today, I will take one around lunchtime to calm my anxiety (major issue for me) and then go for a nap before heading to concert tonight. I need to be switched on for this program of music, it's difficult and although I've practiced and feel prepared, some of it very difficult... and fast! I'm feeling nervous, but as a pretty seasoned performer I know that everything will go fine. Once I get up there, It's just about the music. It's the most wonderful gift in my life and the shaky hands was a large factor in me deciding to give up drinking, notwithstanding all the other various miseries drinking caused me.
Thanks for listening, and I'm thinking of you all. Be safe, be strong, and be kind to yourself.
Caz
Now, where am I at? A very interesting place! The last 5 days since I came home from hospital (another story) I have returned to work and for the last 3 nights have been attending rehearsals. Tonight, I am giving a classical concert with our Chorale (Choir). I am playing in their small chamber orchestra, as well as presenting a piece with my string quartet. An alcoholic classical musician? I don't know how I get away with it, despite being a good musician. The main problem has been shaky hands. In fact, for several years I declined to play in classical ensembles due to this. I still taught, and students would comment on my shaky hands. It's very difficult to play Vivaldi or the like with shaky hands, so no gigs for a long time. Quit the orchestra years ago because of this, and also because it cut into my drinking time (generally evening rehearsals and concerts). I'd do the odd pub gigs instead, folk or contemporary, as after a couple of beers the shakes would subside and I'd be able to play this far less challenging (for me) music. Anyway, that's another story again. I might start a blog.
I'm looking forward to this concert tonight. Although I only have 6 days now, before my previous couple of months drinking, I had about a month off and physically I'm better off than the last few attempts, when I was trying to give up after months or years of constant daily drinking. Although I've relapsed too many times to count, I believe I'm further down the road to sobriety now in a very real way. It makes me feel very happy this morning.
I've also been taking valium for the last 5 days, but have tapered off quite a bit. It helped with the initial withdrawals A LOT but now It just makes me feel muddy and disconnected. I had one last night before bed and woke up groggy as anything. I think today, I will take one around lunchtime to calm my anxiety (major issue for me) and then go for a nap before heading to concert tonight. I need to be switched on for this program of music, it's difficult and although I've practiced and feel prepared, some of it very difficult... and fast! I'm feeling nervous, but as a pretty seasoned performer I know that everything will go fine. Once I get up there, It's just about the music. It's the most wonderful gift in my life and the shaky hands was a large factor in me deciding to give up drinking, notwithstanding all the other various miseries drinking caused me.
Thanks for listening, and I'm thinking of you all. Be safe, be strong, and be kind to yourself.
Caz
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
Welcome, TopEndChick! I see you, and I'm glad you're here and decided to post. Your musical career sounds fascinating...and yes, the shaky hands would be a problem. I think you'll like this group, as you've noticed we're very active and supportive. Good luck at your concert tonight! 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Northern Australia
Posts: 197
Thanks Josharon. I have read many of your posts and see you are quite active, always offering thoughtful advice or sharing your own experiences. I'm pretty sure you welcomed me on my first post! So thanks I've been posting for a little while but after reading a thread by D discussing careful use of names, I changed my name from Caz to Chick
I've been posting for a little while but after reading a thread by D discussing careful use of names, I changed my name from Caz to Chick
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Hi Caz! Good luck with your gig tonight! Your story is very interesting and it sounds very promising to give up drinking to be able to play in more venues and regain your edge.
I am in such a lazy funk this week. Maybe that flu shot. Did some house cleaning today and feel a bit achy in my back and shoulders. Too early for bed, but I really feel sleepy!
We will be travelling for Thanksgiving, so I am considering cooking a turkey for us tomorrow or Sunday. They are on sale and will feed us for days. Hubby loves big turkey sandwiches. so, I was contemplating running out to buy that and a few things tonight. But, I feel too tired. Funny how if it were wine I needed, I would fly out that door in a heartbeat!
But, I don't need any wine tonight! Don't really want any either, now. Earlier I did. So, tonight the craving was brief.
I am in such a lazy funk this week. Maybe that flu shot. Did some house cleaning today and feel a bit achy in my back and shoulders. Too early for bed, but I really feel sleepy!
We will be travelling for Thanksgiving, so I am considering cooking a turkey for us tomorrow or Sunday. They are on sale and will feed us for days. Hubby loves big turkey sandwiches. so, I was contemplating running out to buy that and a few things tonight. But, I feel too tired. Funny how if it were wine I needed, I would fly out that door in a heartbeat!
But, I don't need any wine tonight! Don't really want any either, now. Earlier I did. So, tonight the craving was brief.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by TopEndChick 
Thanks for listening, and I'm thinking of you all. Be safe, be strong, and be kind to yourself.
! Thank you for sharing. I read a few of your posts in other threads, knew of the hospital and appreciate the back story and knowing more. I wish you luck at the concert tonight. I know it will go well. I'm not a musician but did take piano lessons as a child up until my teen years, so I respect the talent, passion & dedication it takes to be at your level. That itself is a good reason to get sober as you mentioned. 
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by josharon
I just made an extremely disappointing salad for myself, and a beautiful pizza for the kids, so I'm kind of blowing off my crappy salad in favor of leftover pizza. My husband called to ask what's for dinner...ugh, dinner is over, dude!
.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by phoebe64
But, I don't need any wine tonight! Don't really want any either, now. Earlier I did. So, tonight the craving was brief.
Stay in, rest. You can get a turkey in the morning
.I texted my man a bit earlier reminding him to get ours soon before it's too late. Promo at the supermarket, free ( I love free things lol), will be slim pickings or out by them time he gets around to it. Plus, it needs to thaw so best to get it ASAP! It's going to be difficult this year to cook but my 14 year old son volunteered to cook the turkey so we will see how it goes lol.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 259
Just checking in...been feeling empty today. Really, really empty. Not so depressed but like something's missing. I know what it is and I shouldn't give into it. So I came here just to get some positive vibes from this group.
It's gonna be a sober weekend, no matter what! Thinking of all of you!
It's gonna be a sober weekend, no matter what! Thinking of all of you!
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