Class of September 2014 part 3
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Good Saturday morning! I got to sleep in till 8 today. I have been following all of you and really glad to have such a great group of people to check in with.
EJM so good to hear you are feeling better and planning for the future!
NYC... I'm in NYC too. Earlier this year I was walking around, drunk, late at night, in a neighborhood I'd usually have my wits about me in. i was mugged and punched in the face. It was infuriating, but I was mostly mad at myself and I knew that drinking had led to the chain of events that landed me there. I was in pain, got drunk, made a scene at the bar, fought with my husband, stormed out, insisted on walking home alone between two safe neighborhoods, Bam. I know you don't need a lecture about walking home. I just understand how you were feeling this morning. Be careful xoxo take care of you
OK NOW THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
Something that I've done off and on over the past few years, to make ends meet, is bartending. I hit hard, uncertain times earlier this year. A good friend needed help at his very nice bar on the weekends. I answered the call. I didn't think twice about it because I'd been off the wagon for a while.
It's two shifts, and it's not that lucrative. But it's been helping enough that I can pay part of my rent with what I make. I do have other jobs but they are sporadic, and I never know when they'll come about. However, I do end up working them quite a bit. My other jobs, freelance cooking -- my actual field -- could benefit from the time I free up, as I could invest more in my portfolio and possible future jobs. There have been some future job possibilities mentioned, and I'd like to be able to say I have the time freed up to be available for them.
My pinch is money. I feel stuck. Plus, The bar is very very short staffed and I would be really rocking the boat and stressing my friend out. He would just have to find someone else asap (he's been having a hard time staffing). This is weighing heavy on me.
However, the place requires and encourages tasting. It's quite fancy and I understand that they want their staff to know how things taste. I do feel confident that I can avoid this. But DUH, being in a bar two days a week.
Will I be able to rally and fill my schedule with my actual freelance jobs? Can I just rest assured that I'm not drinking, so not spending money, so it's a wash? I'm also not buying a pack a day anymore.... I was blowing a lot of cash on booze, cigarettes, and tips... probably the cash I made at the bar (which was only a couple hundred per weekend), when I was reckless and depressed. Can I defer my student loans since I'm not making very much now???
I might need a little extra support today. I am thinking about giving my two weeks notice. It's a terrible time in my life to cut out a second job. And it's a terrible time for my friend to lose a staff member. I am really taking a risk and flying by the seat of my pants here. And things aren't secure enough with my husband yet to where I could ask him to provide a little extra for a while.
Eeek I need an outside opinion, another voice, anything.
Thanks for listening, everyone. I know I've been rambling a lot lately
Plenny
EJM so good to hear you are feeling better and planning for the future!
NYC... I'm in NYC too. Earlier this year I was walking around, drunk, late at night, in a neighborhood I'd usually have my wits about me in. i was mugged and punched in the face. It was infuriating, but I was mostly mad at myself and I knew that drinking had led to the chain of events that landed me there. I was in pain, got drunk, made a scene at the bar, fought with my husband, stormed out, insisted on walking home alone between two safe neighborhoods, Bam. I know you don't need a lecture about walking home. I just understand how you were feeling this morning. Be careful xoxo take care of you
OK NOW THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
Something that I've done off and on over the past few years, to make ends meet, is bartending. I hit hard, uncertain times earlier this year. A good friend needed help at his very nice bar on the weekends. I answered the call. I didn't think twice about it because I'd been off the wagon for a while.
It's two shifts, and it's not that lucrative. But it's been helping enough that I can pay part of my rent with what I make. I do have other jobs but they are sporadic, and I never know when they'll come about. However, I do end up working them quite a bit. My other jobs, freelance cooking -- my actual field -- could benefit from the time I free up, as I could invest more in my portfolio and possible future jobs. There have been some future job possibilities mentioned, and I'd like to be able to say I have the time freed up to be available for them.
My pinch is money. I feel stuck. Plus, The bar is very very short staffed and I would be really rocking the boat and stressing my friend out. He would just have to find someone else asap (he's been having a hard time staffing). This is weighing heavy on me.
However, the place requires and encourages tasting. It's quite fancy and I understand that they want their staff to know how things taste. I do feel confident that I can avoid this. But DUH, being in a bar two days a week.
Will I be able to rally and fill my schedule with my actual freelance jobs? Can I just rest assured that I'm not drinking, so not spending money, so it's a wash? I'm also not buying a pack a day anymore.... I was blowing a lot of cash on booze, cigarettes, and tips... probably the cash I made at the bar (which was only a couple hundred per weekend), when I was reckless and depressed. Can I defer my student loans since I'm not making very much now???
I might need a little extra support today. I am thinking about giving my two weeks notice. It's a terrible time in my life to cut out a second job. And it's a terrible time for my friend to lose a staff member. I am really taking a risk and flying by the seat of my pants here. And things aren't secure enough with my husband yet to where I could ask him to provide a little extra for a while.
Eeek I need an outside opinion, another voice, anything.
Thanks for listening, everyone. I know I've been rambling a lot lately
Plenny
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 872
Thanks Plenny – I did walk through East Harlem (it wasn’t the South Bronx I was disorientated when I was drinking), but even still I know I need to be more careful. It is amazing that alcohol makes you not worry about your surroundings. I know I need to be more conscientious.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 315
Day 22
Plenny--I hope you found advice on the other thread. It IS a tricky situation. I would say that if you think you'll be tempted, best not to do it in early sobriety. I would also say that my husband drinks in front of me on a regular basis (although not wine, my favorite) and I still choose not to drink. But it seems like a bar, especially a fancy one, would be very tempting. I liked to tell myself I was sophisticated while drinking wine and when I had a better job, we did sometimes go to a nice place. I almost always ended up very unsophisticated indeed! We all know the story . . . also you absolutely can defer your student loans. I'm an American living in Canada and I still got them deferred because my income is so low. In fact, they didn't even ask proof of income.
ANewDay--worrisome story. I have done equally dangerous things while barely knowing what I was doing. At least you are recognizing it now. No need to be embarrassed when writing to a group of drunks, I think
Briseis--I too hope you get checked out! I had a racing heart and irregular heartbeat often, but it has gone away since I quit drinking. Let us know what happens. I hope it's just stress (that's what it was for me, but not sure if palpitations are the same?)
EJM--glad you can take the time right now to relax and care for yourself. It made me smile to read what you said about your dad.
NMD--you sound great. And I liked what you said about any day being a good time to drink. Exactly! I could always come up with something to justify it.
Everyone else--happy Saturday! There are so many posts I can't remember them all.
I am very grateful today because last night my husband was struck with horrible food poisoning. It was early a.m. hours, and usually I would have been barely able to walk, let alone drive. Because I was sober, I could rush to the drugstore and get him some medicine.
In other news, I was eating too many gummy candies night before last (my new addiction), and my crown came off in a candy. Kind of funny. I guess these are the kind of "scrapes" I get into now. Also, the stupid headache is still here but not as painful. Some day I will be headache free, I hope! I think it's extra stress due to not drinking, like Briseis said. I was probably always in pain before and didn't notice due to being hungover or drunk.
Glad to be part of this class.
ANewDay--worrisome story. I have done equally dangerous things while barely knowing what I was doing. At least you are recognizing it now. No need to be embarrassed when writing to a group of drunks, I think
Briseis--I too hope you get checked out! I had a racing heart and irregular heartbeat often, but it has gone away since I quit drinking. Let us know what happens. I hope it's just stress (that's what it was for me, but not sure if palpitations are the same?)
EJM--glad you can take the time right now to relax and care for yourself. It made me smile to read what you said about your dad.
NMD--you sound great. And I liked what you said about any day being a good time to drink. Exactly! I could always come up with something to justify it.
Everyone else--happy Saturday! There are so many posts I can't remember them all.
I am very grateful today because last night my husband was struck with horrible food poisoning. It was early a.m. hours, and usually I would have been barely able to walk, let alone drive. Because I was sober, I could rush to the drugstore and get him some medicine.
In other news, I was eating too many gummy candies night before last (my new addiction), and my crown came off in a candy. Kind of funny. I guess these are the kind of "scrapes" I get into now. Also, the stupid headache is still here but not as painful. Some day I will be headache free, I hope! I think it's extra stress due to not drinking, like Briseis said. I was probably always in pain before and didn't notice due to being hungover or drunk.
Glad to be part of this class.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
Plenny, it sounds like you have no choice but to quit that job. Can you wait tables somewhere instead? I know alcohol would be there too, but a restaurant might be a little better...or a coffee shop? I don't know.
I feel like I'm having a high-risk day too. I am starting to dread and despise weekends even more than I did when I was drinking. I still feel the restlessness, the lack of structure, the stress associated with conflict in the home, but I have no comfort or escape. I can intellectually "play the tape all the way through," but I am feeling weak right now. Luckily for the moment, I took my older son to my office so he can play on the computer and I can come here. I'm on Day 17 and I feel like I've felt pretty good up until now...not sure why today is different.
I feel like I'm having a high-risk day too. I am starting to dread and despise weekends even more than I did when I was drinking. I still feel the restlessness, the lack of structure, the stress associated with conflict in the home, but I have no comfort or escape. I can intellectually "play the tape all the way through," but I am feeling weak right now. Luckily for the moment, I took my older son to my office so he can play on the computer and I can come here. I'm on Day 17 and I feel like I've felt pretty good up until now...not sure why today is different.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Trenzalore
Posts: 90
NYC-- sounds like a rough night. Glad you're in one piece. Glad also that it was just your jacket that went missing. Could have been much worse (esp. on the walk home).
I wandered into Whole Foods today to pick up some fancy mozzarella for dinner tonight (I'm making a zucchini/summer squash pizza since I will be the only one home-- no one else likes zucchini (courgettes for those of you in the UK) in the family)-- the booze section is right near the cheese, naturally. The local craft distillery is now selling their wares at WF. I admired the display, inspected the bourbon bottle (lovely packaging), and put it back down. Even were I still drinking I'm not sure I'd spend $40 on a 750 ml of bourbon, no matter how craft it is.
The gin was even pricier. Hoo boy! What an expensive way to go.
(Really glad I'm not spending, erm, $100+ a week on (mostly) wine.... Plus, health benefits!)
I wandered into Whole Foods today to pick up some fancy mozzarella for dinner tonight (I'm making a zucchini/summer squash pizza since I will be the only one home-- no one else likes zucchini (courgettes for those of you in the UK) in the family)-- the booze section is right near the cheese, naturally. The local craft distillery is now selling their wares at WF. I admired the display, inspected the bourbon bottle (lovely packaging), and put it back down. Even were I still drinking I'm not sure I'd spend $40 on a 750 ml of bourbon, no matter how craft it is.
The gin was even pricier. Hoo boy! What an expensive way to go. (Really glad I'm not spending, erm, $100+ a week on (mostly) wine.... Plus, health benefits!)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 479
Still at the function. Everyone is drinking. I'm surviving. Escaped for a little bit and am loving the peace and quiet. I think I only have to be here another hour or less. Jeeeesh. It really is hard being sober. One hour or two among people who are drinking is one thing but it's been about 6......
I am starting to see that keeping my same friends, outings and social routines is not going to work for me sober.
I am starting to see that keeping my same friends, outings and social routines is not going to work for me sober.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 872
Decided to stay in tonight and order Chinese food/watch college football – feels good to have a relaxing night and I am looking forward to waking up tomorrow without a hangover.
Next weekend I am traveling so my plans are sort of already set for that, however the following weekend I am going to make plans to visit my parents. I did well the weekend I did that, and I don’t feel tempted to drink there (and it gets me away from all the bars in the city).
I appreciate all the posts/support from everyone.
Next weekend I am traveling so my plans are sort of already set for that, however the following weekend I am going to make plans to visit my parents. I did well the weekend I did that, and I don’t feel tempted to drink there (and it gets me away from all the bars in the city).
I appreciate all the posts/support from everyone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,511
Hey gang Catching up.. Laptop is broke so using app on phone still .. Love the iPhone but hate typing on it.. Do they still make flip phones lol jk! Today was my Friday .. I'm exhausted, haven't been sleeping well last couple of days .
Husband wants to come with me to recovery group at church tomorrow. Not sure how I feel about it. Mixed emotions I guess . He isn't a drinker. He doesn't understand it and we don't talk about it much. I don't know maybe it will be a good thing .
NYC - glad you made it through that! I once went into the city with a coworker . We stopped at grand central at happy hour.. Several long islands later we somehow made it on the right trains/ buses to our hotel beside LGA.. We still to this day have no clue how we got back.
Husband wants to come with me to recovery group at church tomorrow. Not sure how I feel about it. Mixed emotions I guess . He isn't a drinker. He doesn't understand it and we don't talk about it much. I don't know maybe it will be a good thing .
NYC - glad you made it through that! I once went into the city with a coworker . We stopped at grand central at happy hour.. Several long islands later we somehow made it on the right trains/ buses to our hotel beside LGA.. We still to this day have no clue how we got back.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 479
I made it through and now am safe and sound about to hit the hay.
Re: without computer....I usually post on my iphone so feel your pain about not being able to post longer responses. It can be frustrating.
Congrats to all who have stayed sober this weekend.
Re: without computer....I usually post on my iphone so feel your pain about not being able to post longer responses. It can be frustrating.
Congrats to all who have stayed sober this weekend.
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