Good Saturday morning! I got to sleep in till 8 today. I have been following all of you and really glad to have such a great group of people to check in with.
EJM so good to hear you are feeling better and planning for the future!
NYC... I'm in NYC too. Earlier this year I was walking around, drunk, late at night, in a neighborhood I'd usually have my wits about me in. i was mugged and punched in the face. It was infuriating, but I was mostly mad at myself and I knew that drinking had led to the chain of events that landed me there. I was in pain, got drunk, made a scene at the bar, fought with my husband, stormed out, insisted on walking home alone between two safe neighborhoods, Bam. I know you don't need a lecture about walking home. I just understand how you were feeling this morning. Be careful xoxo take care of you
OK NOW THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
Something that I've done off and on over the past few years, to make ends meet, is bartending. I hit hard, uncertain times earlier this year. A good friend needed help at his very nice bar on the weekends. I answered the call. I didn't think twice about it because I'd been off the wagon for a while.
It's two shifts, and it's not that lucrative. But it's been helping enough that I can pay part of my rent with what I make. I do have other jobs but they are sporadic, and I never know when they'll come about. However, I do end up working them quite a bit. My other jobs, freelance cooking -- my actual field -- could benefit from the time I free up, as I could invest more in my portfolio and possible future jobs. There have been some future job possibilities mentioned, and I'd like to be able to say I have the time freed up to be available for them.
My pinch is money. I feel stuck. Plus, The bar is very very short staffed and I would be really rocking the boat and stressing my friend out. He would just have to find someone else asap (he's been having a hard time staffing). This is weighing heavy on me.
However, the place requires and encourages tasting. It's quite fancy and I understand that they want their staff to know how things taste. I do feel confident that I can avoid this. But DUH, being in a bar two days a week.
Will I be able to rally and fill my schedule with my actual freelance jobs? Can I just rest assured that I'm not drinking, so not spending money, so it's a wash? I'm also not buying a pack a day anymore.... I was blowing a lot of cash on booze, cigarettes, and tips... probably the cash I made at the bar (which was only a couple hundred per weekend), when I was reckless and depressed. Can I defer my student loans since I'm not making very much now???
I might need a little extra support today. I am thinking about giving my two weeks notice. It's a terrible time in my life to cut out a second job. And it's a terrible time for my friend to lose a staff member. I am really taking a risk and flying by the seat of my pants here. And things aren't secure enough with my husband yet to where I could ask him to provide a little extra for a while.
Eeek I need an outside opinion, another voice, anything.
Thanks for listening, everyone. I know I've been rambling a lot lately
Plenny