MariahGayle

Glad your here ST Hope you are having a better week. Know the ups & downs of this are tough & hope that knowing we're all riding the waves with you helps you to not feel alone in this.

I'm home kids....safe & sober from my night out with Keb Mo. Had quite a bit of anxiety & have to tell you the thought that a couple of drinks before going would help me "relax" & give me a "boost", but I didn't give into the thought & went & enjoyed a FABULOUS performance. His music and lyrics range from down right funny to incredibly soul touching. To be honest, if this town had any kind of live music during the week I'd probably would have hit the dance floor somewhere, but instead I am home having my "spot" of tea

I thought about you all tonight while I was out...about how much strength I get from all of you here. Thank you for that Night All

MariahGayle

Congrats ST & Overwhelmd on 30 day!! That is FABULOUS

I here you with the uneasiness in pushing through those feelings..it's not easy, but I just know for me that it is worth it when I read posts from those that are doing it....that it will get easier & by doing that, I'll be free from the "chains" that alcohol has become. I was sad tonight that I have that "desire" to drink that poison after all the trouble & misery it has caused me & those that love & care about me, but it is what it is. I have yet to string together more that 3 weeks of sobriety since drinking after 4 months last August, so right now I have my sights on 30 days. Glad to read your post tonight ST & Overwhelmd & to see you moving forward

Dee74

Congrats from me too overwhelmd and ST

D

topspin

Izzy, .


Kittenme, posted this Sun morning , I think , in response to a post from Obosob,
....I had to look up the new word " Semper " ...always, ..in Latin .

wanted to try m'new word out.


fore I forgot that puppy

Upward2Enlightenment

Morning April Fools. That includes you too Dee!

Izzy Bear is a lab/shepard mix and I think Baby is a lab/pointer. We got them both from rescue/shelter.

ST I hope you feel better soon and congrats on the (almost)month

overwhelmd congrats on 30 days.

Sounds like it was a great show Mariah. I don't want to go through labor, saw my wife go through it 3 times that was hard to watch her in that much pain.

Got some stuff I don't want to do today but I have not control over it so I will just put it in Gods hands. On to day 24.

Have a safe and sober day.

Upward2Enlightenment

Hey ST and anyone else struggling:

sweetenuff

Hi everyone, bright and sunny here today. Glad I stuck to my guns over the Bank Holiday, was hard going though.

Thanks Dollpart, ChickChick , and everyone else, for the support. I am inspired by everyone who is struggling and fighting through difficult situations and those who have managed to stay sober for so long. ST you are hanging in there despite everything. Greenturtle and ChickChick, Applekat, MariahGayle, Sol and everyone else who struggled, well done for avoiding the drink. I also feel resentful of others being able to drink, as well as feeling deprived and 'badly done to'!! I have a few unavoidable events coming up and I am really not sure I can get through it without a drink, saying that at the same time I am afraid that I will drink and spoil everything....sigh

ChickChick my brother's children keep chickens and ducks, as they (the kids!) got bigger their mum has had to take over, they aren't allowed a dog because the same will happen lol

Reboot many years ago I had a Siberian Husky with a cream coat and blue eyes. He was huge, very loyal and loving, but protective to me when he needed to be. I called him my wolf. Mika is beautiful, Your dogs are too Screwedup, my friend has a chocolate lab, he's getting on now but he is still a chewer and is a big softie!

Freein14, water, water and soda water. I love water and drink a lot anyway but I could do with a change. I like soda water and lime and ice, also bitter lemon but I need to find a diet brand. My in laws (outlaws I call them) make me want to drink to cope too...but so do a lot of things!

ChickChick, AppleKat, Adnamaeel, Mrsbee, Sol and all other bookworms, I am also an avid reader, since I was a child. I go to bed and read to cope with the cravings and other issues when things get bad. Trouble is I will keep reading a good book instead of getting on with jobs! I like a lot of different books. Some of my favourite authors are Stephen King, Alice Hoffman and Alexander McCall Smith (The Scotland Street and Isabel Dalhoiuse series in particular). I was converted to a kindle mainly to avoid packing and carrying a load of books when we go away but I do really like it, I also use the kindle app on my tablet. You can try loads of free and cheap books, I have had mixed results. Saying that I still love my 'real' books best, for me they can't be replaced, and collect my favourites on my bookshelves! Love the tip about the freezer bags as I love to read in the bath from time to time.

Sol, you look beautiful on your selfie and certainly don't look overweight in any way! A few of us seem to be addressing our weight issues. I have been told by a health professional that I need to lose 2.5 stones and am at a great risk of type 2 diabetes so am bumping up my exercise and counting my calories. Weigh in every Friday. Areyoukittenme you are right about the empty calories and the way the liver teats alcohol, my HP explained this to me, I knew alcohol was high in calories for little return but I didn't know that the liver concentrates on getting rid of it and so any food consumed in the meantime is straight to fat. Considering how many 'snacks' and food to 'help' hangovers I have consumed perhaps I shouldn't be surprised about gaining so much.

I've been skimming back over posts as I haven't felt up to much participation - sorry if I missed anyone or anything specific.

Have a great sober day, or night, all.

Upward2Enlightenment

Chick congrats on 2 weeks yesterday!!

kat congrats on 2 weeks today!

Soliloquy

Kitten: yes the calories in alcohol are insane! Especially in drinks like margaritas! I probably would've drank a whole days worth yesterday. Maybe one thing that helped me in the first weeks of not drinking was the fact that there was a lot of Easter candy for me to munch on.

Adna: I know that the numbers on the scale are only numbers but personally I feel that I need them to stay on track. It took me quite a while to lose the baby weight last time.

Applekat: I'm with you on the just now starting not to crave sugar as much. I guess it takes about two weeks. That Easter candy was a blessing and a curse it have around during that time. The scale I bought came with a body tape measurer and I'm going to give it a go.

Sweetn: thank you for your kind words.

I am not overweight but I am close. And it's not really just about weight. I'm out of shape and I am not happy with myself. I've seen plenty of beautiful women much heavier than me who are way more fit, just like I've seen skinnier women who look fabulous. This is about strength and confidence. I want to get strong and I want to get flexible. I have this one body and I want to see what it can do. I felt like I was at a crossroads where it was either "do something" or you're slowly letting yourself go. I still have many good years left in me and I want to make the best of them.

Another thing, I really need to use health as a reason to quit drinking. I haven't hit a "rock bottom". I haven't done anything major because of drinking. It wasn't causing problems in my life. I have no one telling me I have a problem. No one has ever suggested I cut back. This is very confusing to me. Especially my husband. Because he knows exactly how much and when I drink. I have made it a point to let him know even if he isn't with me. If I didn't I'd probably have a much bigger problem than I do now. He knows now that I am serious and hasn't offered me alcohol or asked me to try his drinks. But can you imagine how much that fed the devil on my shoulder when he did??? "Gee I really must not have any problem at all. This person knows EXACTLY how much I drink and is offering it to me alcohol when he knows I'm trying not to. I really must not drink too much." It's very hard when you're the only one who realizes your struggle. I attempted this before a couple years back and even my mother in law said "why are you doing that?! Just have one or two." This is someone who doesn't want her own daughter to drink because she thinks she has a problem.
I guess it's too late to make a long story short (I shouldn't post while I'm drinking coffee). But I might talk about weight and exercising and food and all that. I have chosen fitness as my motivator. Because although my husband now believes and supports me, other than you guys I don't really have anyone who understands or pushes me.

sweetenuff

Hi everyone, can I ask......

Does anyone have worries about their reputation connected to past behaviour? I have stopped drinking a couple of times due to terrible things I did while drunk, albeit that was awhile ago, but not to say I haven't continued to show myself up big style being worse for wear. Of course at the time I soon, or eventually, forgot and refused to think any further, the drink helped that of course.

The last couple of days drunken episodes keep coming back and I have been thinking that I must have a terrible reputation, not just with family and friends but other people who I have interacted with during the years, plenty of relationships busted and I am sure gossip and nastiness were spread, some of it true some not. I feel for my husband as well as being worried and embarrassed about this. I feel ashamed. I worked at one big employer for a long time and did a few silly things, also had a big drunken fall out with friends there, I am not there now but still know people who are. I know a lot of my family and friends still love me and appreciate other parts of me but they must also associate me as a drunk.

This is really getting to me, feel like moving and not telling anyone where we are!

sweetenuff

Hi sol, yes its all down to how a person feels themselves. Mind you when I was younger I was always convinced I was fat, looking at photos now I must have been mad and in some I look a real 'lollipop head' lol. Health is a great reason to cut drink out. My health check was a shock, big part of my giving up is to get healthy and slimmer again.....wear my cute things! Of which I have many, due to my other addiction of online shopping......lol....I've managed to cut this back.

Wish I had gotten a handle on drinking when younger, its true you have many great years ahead.

Finding myself sneakily thinking about factoring glasses of wine into my calorie allowance ... Ignoring these thoughts

Soliloquy

Sweetnstuff:lately I have had a movie reel that plays in my mind filled with scenes of embarrassment caused by past drunken behavior. Instead of letting it bring me down, I embrace it and use it as a reason not to drink.
If you moved and didn't tell anyone where, they would not be the to see how far you've come!

Soliloquy

Oops sorry I read your name wrong!

obosob

Hello All, good to read all the posts in the threads.
End of day 11 here.
Been out all day and tired, so a quick note before a long shower and bed.
Hope all are going strong and to those like me who had a tough day. If I can make it through the "days like these" (Van Morrison) anyone can!
woah, it's not easy sometimes........

SolitaryThinker

Been maintaining, but also been eating Valium like skittles for the last 3 days...so it's not really dealing or maintaining at all...I slept 8 hours the last 3 nights tho. Now I'm in a fog tho so I don't really feel the effects of the extra hours, they aren't natural hours anyway. I buy my prescription pills on the street and only have a half of one left. This isn't working...it's beyond happiness and trying to find a routine, I'm still just trying to get high and now it's on caffeine, chain smoking, and illegally purchased prescriptions....I'm not even trying to complain and bitch, just being honest...I'm staying sober, but I'm doing a terrible job at trying to heal and just be good to myself...failing...I don't wanna drink today at all tho, just sleep actually but work won't let me...hang in there people, if you can enjoy your day in any way go out of your way to do so

Reboot

Like you, Sweetenuff, I had cravings on day nine but managed to power through it. I was skipping right along until my wife poured a glass of wine yesterday afternoon. I had to keep reminding myself that "tomorrow me" would thank "today me" if I held fast. That, and the thought of starting over is horrifying to me - I don't want another day one. I wish I had an answer for every situation. Different days and circumstances require different mental strategies.

I also use my past drunken behavior as tool to remain sober. In social situations I like to pick out someone who is clearly intoxicated and remind myself that it could easily be me, and that it WAS me at one time.

Am I ashamed of my drunken past? Absolutely. Shame is one of the reasons that brought me here. I can tell you this, though: I don't want to feel that shame again, whether because of showing up at some place in the morning reeking of last night's binge, drunk Facebooking, making a complete arse out of myself in social situations, or getting "that look" from my wife. I could go on and on.

I try to use my past to learn from it rather than dwell on it. The new sober me is a much better man - still inherently flawed, mind you, but at least I'm not adding drunkenness to the mix.

I feel as though every day I spend sober negates some of my previous stupidity. I truly love being sober, even if it is the hardest thing I ever had to do.

Here's to day ten.

BHappy2014

I feel for you. Drinking has done nothing to move me forward and everything to hold me back from being who I want to be. I had quit for several years then married an alcoholic. We are getting divorced. I wanted to quit again while he denied he needed to while pulling me down. My mind played such a trick on me that after 2 years of being sober I married a drinking alcoholic probably so I had an excuse to drink myself. I was able to quit again when I was pregnant so I can do it. Day 2 and I'm lonely and depressed but doing this! The sadness of divorce and the anger keeps me drinking so I'm feeling some rough stuff right now and I don't like it. But I have got to do this!

areyoukittenme

Hey, it's fine with me! You and sweetenuff and I can all be partners in boring people with fitness chat.


25 days sober here. Nifty.

sweetenuff

Hang on in there BHappy, you are amazing to have been sober for 2 years. I guess we have all been led astray in one way or another, although we participated readily enough? I had a relationship many years ago which lasted about 4 years, he was a heavy drinker and this period of time certainly helped to continue and very much increase my drinking. Interestingly he would acknowledge my problem after a particularly awful drunk which affected his family but not it his own. He continued to drink heavily in front of me the times I tried to stop, deliberately, and apart from the first few months was mentally abusive and often smashed things up. Of course I continued to drink after the relationship ended.

You can do this, you are strong and have shown you can. There is support here for you. You are not alone.

Upward2Enlightenment

Sol your devil on your shoulder reminded me of the 5 stages of drunk obosob (I think) posted on the weekend.

Sweet I think the only ones who wouldn't worry about it are ones that don't remember.

night obosob.

Congrats reboot on double digits and BHappy on day 2

kitten you sol and sweet can go on about fitness, I need a push to get my butt in gear and get in shape.