Class Of March 2014 Part 10
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 908
Thanks Dee.
I was getting uncomfortable with some of what was being discussed in the meetings. I find the constant talking about God and God 'being in the room' quite unsettling at times. But perhaps I'm just making excuses. There are still some meetings I've not tried yet so maybe I will feel like I 'fit in' more there.
I definitely need a sober network Dee. I do have a plan for the weekend. I'm going to say I can't because of the meds I'm on. I've got a hotel room booked in the same place as everyone else so if it gets uncomfortable I will go chill in there. I certainly won't be staying up till ridiculous o clock with all of them. Planning on turning up, doing my bit, having a nice meal and getting the hell outta there to be honest with you.
I was getting uncomfortable with some of what was being discussed in the meetings. I find the constant talking about God and God 'being in the room' quite unsettling at times. But perhaps I'm just making excuses. There are still some meetings I've not tried yet so maybe I will feel like I 'fit in' more there.
I definitely need a sober network Dee. I do have a plan for the weekend. I'm going to say I can't because of the meds I'm on. I've got a hotel room booked in the same place as everyone else so if it gets uncomfortable I will go chill in there. I certainly won't be staying up till ridiculous o clock with all of them. Planning on turning up, doing my bit, having a nice meal and getting the hell outta there to be honest with you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by KimsFriend 
Good morning! Day 39 for me.
Aary- I know exactly what you mean about wanting to be better NOW. I am exactly the same. I went to a beginners AA meeting recently where the speaker was describing his process of the steps. And his biggest revelation? (Well besides being sober of course) he said going through the steps was a huge lesson in patience. Lesson in learning to appreciate the moment you are in. We should try and reflect thorough each day and know that as long as we aren't drinking, we are early where we should be at in our recovery.
At first this statement made me a little angry- I actually did one of those "laugh out loud while welling up with tears" moves. I just want to be better. I feel scared in a way- like if I don't stop craving booze / feeling unstable soon I won't make it to the other side.
But one thing I am learning is to really take a hard look at why these cravings, or sharp emotions come on. Which usually leads to me learning something about myself if I really take the time to think it through. So I guess in a way, I am exactly where I need to be in my recovery.
I'm still sober, so I must be doing something right!
Aary- I know exactly what you mean about wanting to be better NOW. I am exactly the same. I went to a beginners AA meeting recently where the speaker was describing his process of the steps. And his biggest revelation? (Well besides being sober of course) he said going through the steps was a huge lesson in patience. Lesson in learning to appreciate the moment you are in. We should try and reflect thorough each day and know that as long as we aren't drinking, we are early where we should be at in our recovery.
At first this statement made me a little angry- I actually did one of those "laugh out loud while welling up with tears" moves. I just want to be better. I feel scared in a way- like if I don't stop craving booze / feeling unstable soon I won't make it to the other side.
But one thing I am learning is to really take a hard look at why these cravings, or sharp emotions come on. Which usually leads to me learning something about myself if I really take the time to think it through. So I guess in a way, I am exactly where I need to be in my recovery.
I'm still sober, so I must be doing something right!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by KimsFriend
Chris- great job on making it through this trip. Returning to the scene of the crime has to be difficult. But you did it! Very proud of you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by MrG
I've gotta be honest with you guys I'm back to day 1 yet again after a completely ridiculous binge which started on Friday after a panic attack. You know the rest of the story.
I'm finding the weekends so difficult at the moment. I don't find the weeknights too bad because I have to work.
Ugh, so annoyed. I will get this. Back into SMART recovery meetings. I've been finding AA is making me feel worse at times.
I'm going to ask the Doc about Antabuse, anyone had any experience with it in the past? I've seen it helping for others. Maybe it would help me just get a few months under my belt. In two years of trying I've never got past 2 months yet.
I have to attend a wedding at the weekend too, absolute nightmare. Unfortunately it's not with the people who know about my problem. Although I have told my dad in advance I'm not going to be drinking because of some medication I'm on.
I wish I could get out of it to be honest, although in a weird way it might not be that bad. I've never been a social drinker, I don't like the feeling of drinking with others, always been a lone drinker at home.
I think the best method would just be to come clean and be honest about my addiction. I definitely could do with some family support.
Long post, cheers
Anyway my pity party is over. Day 1, I know the drill
I'm finding the weekends so difficult at the moment. I don't find the weeknights too bad because I have to work.
Ugh, so annoyed. I will get this. Back into SMART recovery meetings. I've been finding AA is making me feel worse at times.
I'm going to ask the Doc about Antabuse, anyone had any experience with it in the past? I've seen it helping for others. Maybe it would help me just get a few months under my belt. In two years of trying I've never got past 2 months yet.
I have to attend a wedding at the weekend too, absolute nightmare. Unfortunately it's not with the people who know about my problem. Although I have told my dad in advance I'm not going to be drinking because of some medication I'm on.
I wish I could get out of it to be honest, although in a weird way it might not be that bad. I've never been a social drinker, I don't like the feeling of drinking with others, always been a lone drinker at home.
I think the best method would just be to come clean and be honest about my addiction. I definitely could do with some family support.
Long post, cheers
Anyway my pity party is over. Day 1, I know the drill
I know that being honest about my addiction took time and courage but once I was honest with others about it, it was one less thing I had to feel guilty about all the time and it was a huge weight off my shoulder. Just thought I'd share that...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
The beach meeting was good. KF, it was in the town where I used to live: lots of drinking memories and just not-good memories in general. It is where I lived when going through a divorce, so not a happy memory place.
I've committed to not drinking again. Some people, places, and things will bring on the "sharp emotion" - no way that is going to be forever banished from my life. My best solution is to shorten the amount of time that I spend ruminating when some negative emotion or memory comes up. They are going to come up. Emotions are good, they are there to teach me something. Maybe it is, "Best to stay away from that person," or, "Hey! I can go to that bar without drinking," or, "Hm. How about that? I'm over that. It no longer holds power."
I'm getting better at switching off the negatives; but I had been working that "program" for several years already. Now I'm just doing it without the option of any part of my day being numbed.
Easy? No. Possible? Absolutely. It takes practice and it takes getting spun out a few times. I'm pretty sure there are a few more spin outs in me. There is not another drink in me. I've had way more than my fair share.
I've committed to not drinking again. Some people, places, and things will bring on the "sharp emotion" - no way that is going to be forever banished from my life. My best solution is to shorten the amount of time that I spend ruminating when some negative emotion or memory comes up. They are going to come up. Emotions are good, they are there to teach me something. Maybe it is, "Best to stay away from that person," or, "Hey! I can go to that bar without drinking," or, "Hm. How about that? I'm over that. It no longer holds power."
I'm getting better at switching off the negatives; but I had been working that "program" for several years already. Now I'm just doing it without the option of any part of my day being numbed.
Easy? No. Possible? Absolutely. It takes practice and it takes getting spun out a few times. I'm pretty sure there are a few more spin outs in me. There is not another drink in me. I've had way more than my fair share.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Well done folks for overcoming all your struggles and issues, everyone is on the same path!!! I told my counsellor today about it being day 54, and how it was making me have more good days thaan bad atm....she was thrilled and so complimentary!!! Am feeling a bit chuffed, and you have all helped me so much, thank you all.... Group hug and pat on back!!!
Eating lemon polenta cake n cream to celebrate.... Yummmmmmm��
Eating lemon polenta cake n cream to celebrate.... Yummmmmmm��
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Just recently looked at some old drunken pictures in which I was smiling and everyone was laughing. I looked very closely and even though at first glance it looks like everyone is having a great time, I can see now in my eyes and the others it is a glazed-over robotic/numb look. Not true happiness. Then I looked at some pictures of my daughter and I (sober), laughing our butts off at the silliest stuff and there is pure joy and beauty in our eyes. So full of wonder and hope and such a wondrous natural high that resonates in my heart. Just wanted to share this glorious revelation with you all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Somewhere Nice!
Posts: 423
Had another busy day. Just leaving work when done posting this. Guess it is a good thing in some ways that I am so busy. Less time to ruminate about stuff. Heading home to mow the lawn for the first time this year. Nice to have Spring but I hate mowing the yard. Used to have a beer or 5 on the riding lawn mower. Tonight maybe I'll plug in to my Ipod under the hearing protection.
Hopefully I'll get a chance to get back on SR later this evening.
Have a great evening Marchers!
Hopefully I'll get a chance to get back on SR later this evening.
Have a great evening Marchers!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
It was a lovely warm (some may say HOT) day here. I went to a meeting this morning and then to the zoo, then the grocery and home. Called a friend, had a sandwich and some chips and strawberries with dark chocolate, now I'm ready to roll down the covers and watch TV for a couple hours.
Cats fed, litter boxes semi-clean. Clean enough. They're cats.
Pretty good day. Normal. I'll take normal. No big highs or lows, thank God.
Love to all.
Cats fed, litter boxes semi-clean. Clean enough. They're cats.
Pretty good day. Normal. I'll take normal. No big highs or lows, thank God.
Love to all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Good morning Marchers on day 8 here. Dawn in California I love this time of day and year. Nice and cool right now, promising to be HOT later today. I love that contrast.
Love and hugs to you all on this sober day !!!! Love, Chris
Love and hugs to you all on this sober day !!!! Love, Chris
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Hello on this beautiful day, Marchers!
Thank you for the well wishes! Can't believe it's been two months! I feel great!
It's so nice here today! Sun is out and it's about 80 F outside right now. Eating some lunch then out to enjoy the sun! Will take advantage because it looks like the weather is going to get chilly and rainy again starting tomorrow. Carpe diem, right?
Grocery is the first stop. Half off fraps from Starbucks. I think I shall treat myself while shopping.
I've been sleeping so much lately. Not sure if I should be concerned. I have been slacking on my vitamins so that probably has a lot to do with it. I'm hoping picking up some good food will help also.
Getting my grocery list together. I will check back with you all later!
Thank you for the well wishes! Can't believe it's been two months! I feel great!
It's so nice here today! Sun is out and it's about 80 F outside right now. Eating some lunch then out to enjoy the sun! Will take advantage because it looks like the weather is going to get chilly and rainy again starting tomorrow. Carpe diem, right?
Grocery is the first stop. Half off fraps from Starbucks. I think I shall treat myself while shopping.
I've been sleeping so much lately. Not sure if I should be concerned. I have been slacking on my vitamins so that probably has a lot to do with it. I'm hoping picking up some good food will help also.
Getting my grocery list together. I will check back with you all later!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Aarryckha
Hello on this beautiful day, Marchers!
Thank you for the well wishes! Can't believe it's been two months! I feel great!
It's so nice here today! Sun is out and it's about 80 F outside right now. Eating some lunch then out to enjoy the sun! Will take advantage because it looks like the weather is going to get chilly and rainy again starting tomorrow. Carpe diem, right?
Grocery is the first stop. Half off fraps from Starbucks. I think I shall treat myself while shopping.
I've been sleeping so much lately. Not sure if I should be concerned. I have been slacking on my vitamins so that probably has a lot to do with it. I'm hoping picking up some good food will help also.
Getting my grocery list together. I will check back with you all later!
Thank you for the well wishes! Can't believe it's been two months! I feel great!
It's so nice here today! Sun is out and it's about 80 F outside right now. Eating some lunch then out to enjoy the sun! Will take advantage because it looks like the weather is going to get chilly and rainy again starting tomorrow. Carpe diem, right?
Grocery is the first stop. Half off fraps from Starbucks. I think I shall treat myself while shopping.
I've been sleeping so much lately. Not sure if I should be concerned. I have been slacking on my vitamins so that probably has a lot to do with it. I'm hoping picking up some good food will help also.
Getting my grocery list together. I will check back with you all later!
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by enfinthechange
Normal is good... It really is, i agree ... When drinking normal seemed not crazy enough ir too boring, now i love normal, i can make it whatever i like!!!
Normal means I can remember things the next day (for the most part) and I don't have to make up excuses for my behavior.
When drinking was the normal, I couldn't imagine being "normal" without it.
You're definitely right. Normal means I have opportunities to do things. Not just sit around blasted out of my mind all the time. Feels like I actually have a future now.
Pour me up some tea, Enfin!
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