Bilr44

DD,

You are right, whatever happens will be best for me. I do know that but it helps when you tell me.

I think it's great that you are dealing with unresolved issues from the past and also dealing positively with what is happening now in your life. Too many people either continue with substance abuse or let it fester until it becomes a life changing event later in life. My dad suffered with depression that he self medicated for years until one day, in his late 50's, he had what I'd call a nervous breakdown. He has been on meds since and is quite normal, other than early stage Alzheimer's. Hopefully your husband and children spoil you this weekend.

trudgingagain

Si, Billr, tranquillo is una muy bien palabra aqui Y el es necessario por todo dias! Yes, DD...I did do a LOT of ACOA work....had a workbook, went to some meetings, etc....but, in the end....I am who I am and I have to deal with me.....today. Of course they don't have anything like that here....just AA...and ... for me....been there, done that. Good for you, though for exploring some alternatives.....Well, this crap has really gotta turn around for us soon. EVERY day some other trivial BS happens that absolutely circumvents the day....becoming very cynical here, lately..... Hubby's 60th b-day is on the 18th. Called our neighbor who keeps telling us we should go out on his boat with him and his wife one day. $250.00 for a half day if we bring all the eats/drinks. They don't drink either (heart condition). SO, I call him today and suddenly it is a minimum of $300 (the extra 50 is "apparently" for cleaning supplies for the boat) PLUS tips for the "crew", PLUS we bring all the goodies. First of all, his website advertises $400 for 1/2 day that INCLUDES cooked breakfast, bloody marys, beer, water, etc. AND...he has NEVER said ANYTHING about a crew to us before. My husband has had this conversation with him MANY times, until today when we finally decided to do it. Well, suddenly, because I kinda questioned him, I got an e-mail from him saying that they JUST got an inquiry for the 15-17th wherein they could make $4,000., BUT, that he would keep us posted. SO TIRED OF BEING SCREWED.

Bilr44

I've only rented fishing boats by the half day and that was in West Palm Beach. You do give the crew a tip but that is because they set all the fishing lines, bring the fish into the boat at the end, and fillet the fish if you want to keep them. I think it's weird that your neighbor is charging extra for cleaning supplies. If I had a neighbor who I was friendly with, I would offer to help him with the gas and the food and drinks, not help him pay the loan. I think people who own boats get in over their heads after they buy it and don't realize how expensive it is. But that's not your or my problem. I'm pretty sure you could find better, cheaper charters for a half day, provided you don't plan on fishing.

trudgingagain

Yeah, Billr, I agree. AND...as it turned out, a gal I met about a month ago has a 45' ketch sailboat and she will charge us ONLY her cost of $250. for 1/2 day AND provide drinks, snacks, etc. AND pick us up with the boat in the cove in front of our house!

Bilr44

Trudging,

Your neighbors boat story reminds me of my neighbor who has Miami Heat season tickets. He asked if I wanted to buy tickets for one of the games but wanted to charge what he could get on scalping sites (2 to 2.5 times face value). I would have gladly bought the tickets at face value but turned him down because I think he's being an a$$. He bragged how he pretty pays nothing for his season tickets with all the ones he sells at a premium to his "friends". He's also the same guy who's always preaching religion and coerced me into going to that retreat back in January.

trudgingagain

Yeah...just so weird....even "friends" are out to make a buck....on "friends"...ugh!

DoubleDragons

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies on the thread!! Driver, I bet your wife had a special one. Mine went better than expected. Drama, alcohol-free lunch with my parents and lots of love from my husband and kids, so definitely an improvement over last year. Dare I say that this is another positive thing that came about after quitting drinking. I can't change anyone else's behavior but mine, but my changes seem to be causing good changes for other people in my life.

Bilr44

I hope everyone's Mothers Day went well. We spent the day in West Palm Beach which was very relaxing. I even had a piña colada without the alcohol.

DD, I'm glad to hear that your day was free from drama and your husband and kids were good to you.

trudgingagain

Great attitude, DD! Glad you had a nice day! Actually, mine was good. High points and lows. 4 kids: Older daughter-called and had a GREAT talk; Older son- nothing; younger son-in jail, but we called to see if he had received the phone card we sent, and THE JAILER PUT HIM ON THE PHONE!!!! It was awesome! First time we have been able to speak to him since he went to jail at the end of March, the day before we left CA. Youngest daughter-the (recovering??????) addict who apparently hates my guts - e-mail at around 4:30 with a title HARD TO EVEN SEND THIS. It read "Really uneasy about whatever this is. No closure from when I saw u or anything with u leaving. I just dont get any of it. But ya .....its mothers day." It had this picture attached

Bilr44

Trudging, it sounds like your younger daughter has unresolved issues of her own which probably have nothing to do with you. I think she needs to resolve the issues with herself before she is ready to care about anyone else. Sorry, just my perception of it from 40,000 feet.

I was supposed to hear something about the job by last Thursday, didn't happen. Then I got a note from HR saying there would be news today, that didn't happen either. I think it's time for me to forget about this company, but I'll still probably take the job if by some miracle they ever make a decision.

trudgingagain

Yeah, I agree about my daughter, Billr. Sounds like a good idea to move on....sorry to say

DoubleDragons

Bilr, it might be an omen that the company is a disorganized mess - the kind of place that would drive me crazy! I am wanting to find a new job, too, but I really want to savor this summer with my kids, especially with my eldest leaving. I know you feel the same about your daughter. I don't know about you, but I think I do have some underlying anxiety about him leaving, even if I don't want to admit it.

Trudging, your daughter really pulls at the heartstrings. I am learning to have the whole boundary thing with my mom and it is difficult. I cannot imagine what it would be like with one of my kids toying with my emotions. Sending you hugs!!

Bilr44

DD, Something in the universe is trying to tell me something, I guess. Regardless, it's just frustrating waiting for an answer. I'd rather them just say no than have to wait any longer.

I can tell my wife is feeling the whole going away to college thing. I'm sad but also happy as well. My daughter has been really good with none of the usual teen problems. It will be really weird in two years when they are both gone. A couple who we are friends with have twin girls (with no other kids) who are both going off to college in August. I guess I always knew this day would come but you can never get yourself ready as it comes too fast.

trudgingagain

Thanks, DD...from experience I can say that when each of my girls went to college, AT FIRST it was really hard! (AND....at the time, my youngest and I were REALLY close). Even though they were in the same state, and close enough to drive home occassionally, life took them in different directions. BUT....after a while....it was actually NICE to have things a bit quieter around the house

Bilr44

Well I didn't get the job because they gave it to someone internal. From my experience we always interviewed internal candidates first, prior to opening jobs to outside hires. They said they are considering me for a role that will be opening up in 2-3 weeks. At this point I'm going forward with my other summer plans. If I can work the interviews in fine, but I'm not going to go out of my way to be here.

fishoutawatta

Bilr,
Dang! I had something very similar happen to me ten or twelve years ago. Except that there wasn't another position opening up (which was fine). I think you're wise to plan on your own terms!
Fishy

Bilr44

You know Fishy, I actually applaud companies that promote from within so I shouldn't be mad. Most companies aren't smart enough to build bench strength and then they wonder why their people aren't promotable.

I just found out I have an opportunity to go to Argentina for two weeks, the day after my daughter graduates. I have not decided if I want to take the opportunity but it sounds intriguing. It would be a great opportunity to practice my Spanish skills. After living in Spain though, I now how social meals are and wine is served at lunch and dinner. I don't want to insult anyone by turning down their wine.

DoubleDragons

I am still worried about "insulting" people or worried if they think I am "boring" because I don't drink, too, Bilr. I kind of wish I was past that with almost 8 months of sobriety, but maybe that is just more of a societal thing?!?

Sorry about the job, but I know in my heart, things are going the direction they are supposed to be going in, for all of us here. When my husband was laid off, and doing a lot of interviewing, we got a real appreciation of the different types of positions available to him and he was really able to hone in on what he wanted and things that he wanted to be different from his previous position. He now has a job that he really appreciates and is a much better fit for him, but it took a lot of time and worry to get there.

Dee74

sorry about the disappointment bilr - I hope good fortune is ahead for you.

There must be non drinkers in Argentina (and Spain) tho?

D

Dee74

sorry about the disappointment bilr - I hope good fortune is ahead for you.

There must be non drinkers in Argentina (and Spain) tho?

D