Class Of March 2014 Part 6
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Welshman living in Cork, Ireland
Posts: 737
Originally Posted by Shoshie8 
Hi fellow Marchees,
So I've not been able to join in much as both my kids went down with temps and raging sore throats. Germ warfare. Getting better now and I'm playing catch-up on what's been going on.
Today is day 21 for me - third week sober. I am having really strong cravings right now. REALLY strong. Not helped at ALL by the fact my OH has just brought a really great bottle of wine into the house, even though he said he wouldn't.
He has joined me in not drinking until now. But the worst thing about this is the fact that he has just tried to justify bringing alcohol into the house by telling me I'm making a big deal about not drinking as, in his opinion, I don't have a "real" problem.
Aargghhh!
I am literally hiding in my room right now. Glued to SR and drinking tea. This is tough..
So I've not been able to join in much as both my kids went down with temps and raging sore throats. Germ warfare. Getting better now and I'm playing catch-up on what's been going on.
Today is day 21 for me - third week sober. I am having really strong cravings right now. REALLY strong. Not helped at ALL by the fact my OH has just brought a really great bottle of wine into the house, even though he said he wouldn't.
He has joined me in not drinking until now. But the worst thing about this is the fact that he has just tried to justify bringing alcohol into the house by telling me I'm making a big deal about not drinking as, in his opinion, I don't have a "real" problem.
Aargghhh!
I am literally hiding in my room right now. Glued to SR and drinking tea. This is tough..
So glad you're still here and sober. Forgive me, I thought the worst.
My OH has continued drinking too. For the first few days I tried avoiding being in the same room and was secretly fuming inside. ("Ha, some help you are. You're determined to get me back drinking aren't you", thoughts were raging inside me.)
But, for some reason, something clicked and maybe I got more selfish in my recovery and now my thinking is, well it's up to you what you do. I am not going to drink.
Tonight I even bought her a bottle of wine when she asked. Uncorked it and poured a glass, without a thought of taking a sip!!
Very empowering.
I really hope you get to this stage yourself.
No other practical advice other than look after yourself and "surf" the AV thoughts.
Good luck.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Okay, quick fact about me. I am stubborn. I was going to use the word reserved but that's just not true. I'm stubborn.
I'm one of those people who is invited to do things and I tend to decline or just not go. My ex would drag me to things that I thought I didn't want to do. I was usually glad he did because I had a good time doing whatever it was. You'd think I'd figure out how to change this about myself by now.
So, went to the AA meeting. I was nervous but I walked through the doors and someone led me to the room where it was held. Almost chickened out at the door. I went in. There were only six other people there, one woman for which I was thankful to have. I was glad it was such a small group. All I can say is wow, why didn't I go sooner? They all made me feel really welcome and comfortable. They all shared their stories of how they come to be in AA, histories and such. I decided I would too. Man, did it feel good. The woman there gave me her number and they gave me a little book with all the meetings around the area. Wow, there are a lot! There is a ladies meeting tomorrow morning I'd like to check out.
Yep, I'd go back.
I'm one of those people who is invited to do things and I tend to decline or just not go. My ex would drag me to things that I thought I didn't want to do. I was usually glad he did because I had a good time doing whatever it was. You'd think I'd figure out how to change this about myself by now.
So, went to the AA meeting. I was nervous but I walked through the doors and someone led me to the room where it was held. Almost chickened out at the door. I went in. There were only six other people there, one woman for which I was thankful to have. I was glad it was such a small group. All I can say is wow, why didn't I go sooner? They all made me feel really welcome and comfortable. They all shared their stories of how they come to be in AA, histories and such. I decided I would too. Man, did it feel good. The woman there gave me her number and they gave me a little book with all the meetings around the area. Wow, there are a lot! There is a ladies meeting tomorrow morning I'd like to check out.
Yep, I'd go back.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Welshman living in Cork, Ireland
Posts: 737
Well done Aarry.
I so glad that you found it so helpfull. You're absolutely gushing
Hope you do continue to go and get the personal support and encouragement from a great institution.
delighted for you.
I so glad that you found it so helpfull. You're absolutely gushing
Hope you do continue to go and get the personal support and encouragement from a great institution.
delighted for you.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by KimsFriend
One of my fellow co-workers just came into my office with a glass of vodka for a "TGIF" drink. I pushed it away and told him no thank you. He looked at me with such shock. So I said "I am on antibiotics for an ear ache".
Sigh... I hate the lying. But I just don't know what to say right now to people who are so used to me drinking.
Sigh... I hate the lying. But I just don't know what to say right now to people who are so used to me drinking.
That couldn't have been easy. Honestly, especially at this stage, I wouldn't have a problem telling a lie to someone who really doesn't need to know my business anyways. It's your story to tell, if and/or when you choose.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Atlantic Beach, NY
Posts: 246
Thank you Aarrycha - I feel good about it.
And your post about heading to your first AA meeting today got me searching for one in my area. I wrote a list of meetings down that are not too far from me. Your good experience has inspired me. I hope to attend one this weekend.
And your post about heading to your first AA meeting today got me searching for one in my area. I wrote a list of meetings down that are not too far from me. Your good experience has inspired me. I hope to attend one this weekend.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by Michtizz
Thanks people for all of these wise and wonderful posts today.
I'm walking back home from my conference. Felt uneasy about the pressure I was putting myself under about going to the leaving do where lots of my good friends will be celebrating and drinking and simply didn't feel strong enough in myself.
Called one of the guys who's leaving to apologise. He understood.
What is it about Friday evenings? I'm having to be really resolute - over half a lifetime of looking forward to that weekend drink. I guess it'll take a while to re-programme my head..
I'm walking back home from my conference. Felt uneasy about the pressure I was putting myself under about going to the leaving do where lots of my good friends will be celebrating and drinking and simply didn't feel strong enough in myself.
Called one of the guys who's leaving to apologise. He understood.
What is it about Friday evenings? I'm having to be really resolute - over half a lifetime of looking forward to that weekend drink. I guess it'll take a while to re-programme my head..
Mich, I'm glad you recognized that you weren't ready for the situation and bowed out gracefully.
You hit the nail on the head. Habits need to be broken and new ones made. It takes time. Fridays absolutely are a trigger for me. It signaled the beginning of the weekend which meant free reign to drink.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by Shoshie8
Hi fellow Marchees,
So I've not been able to join in much as both my kids went down with temps and raging sore throats. Germ warfare. Getting better now and I'm playing catch-up on what's been going on.
Today is day 21 for me - third week sober. I am having really strong cravings right now. REALLY strong. Not helped at ALL by the fact my OH has just brought a really great bottle of wine into the house, even though he said he wouldn't.
He has joined me in not drinking until now. But the worst thing about this is the fact that he has just tried to justify bringing alcohol into the house by telling me I'm making a big deal about not drinking as, in his opinion, I don't have a "real" problem.
Aargghhh!
I am literally hiding in my room right now. Glued to SR and drinking tea. This is tough..
So I've not been able to join in much as both my kids went down with temps and raging sore throats. Germ warfare. Getting better now and I'm playing catch-up on what's been going on.
Today is day 21 for me - third week sober. I am having really strong cravings right now. REALLY strong. Not helped at ALL by the fact my OH has just brought a really great bottle of wine into the house, even though he said he wouldn't.
He has joined me in not drinking until now. But the worst thing about this is the fact that he has just tried to justify bringing alcohol into the house by telling me I'm making a big deal about not drinking as, in his opinion, I don't have a "real" problem.
Aargghhh!
I am literally hiding in my room right now. Glued to SR and drinking tea. This is tough..
First off, congrats on three weeks! Well done!
I'm sorry the kids are sick. It doesn't sound like much fun to have to deal with TWO sick little ones.
Have to talked to your hubby about not bringing anything into the house and how important this is to you? Even if you have, I think it might be worth it to reiterate it.
Make sure you are taking care of yourself as well as the little ones. Have you been eating?
I'm glad to see you! /hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Atlantic Beach, NY
Posts: 246
I am getting ready to leave work now. Heading out to a long weekend ahead - my first sober weekend in... well - forever. Not looking forward to facing the "music" - the long talk my husband and I have in front of us (continuation of the screaming match from this morning).
We have a sitter coming over at 5:30, and we will go find a place to talk and eat. We have tickets to a comedy show at 8PM. I hope we make it!
We have a sitter coming over at 5:30, and we will go find a place to talk and eat. We have tickets to a comedy show at 8PM. I hope we make it!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Wow/ plenty going on!!! It seems for me everything has gone wrong today,,,, after 3 weeks of cruising along, feeling a bit I'll, a bit tired but quite happy, all I can say is that I reached the threshold, and I want a feckin drink!!!!
Its not fair, its Friday, I work hard and aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh
First major struggle and I have discovered I HATE not getting my own way, I am not over this, and I mentally have nothing else to do, I think I was just pretending to like being sober.
Bollox. I feel crap, sad, worthless and just pisssed off,,,,,
And now I've bored u all stupid with my crappy moaning. Its all pants
Didn't have a drink though, so ha.
Its not fair, its Friday, I work hard and aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh
First major struggle and I have discovered I HATE not getting my own way, I am not over this, and I mentally have nothing else to do, I think I was just pretending to like being sober.
Bollox. I feel crap, sad, worthless and just pisssed off,,,,,
And now I've bored u all stupid with my crappy moaning. Its all pants
Didn't have a drink though, so ha.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Enfin, I'm sorry you're struggling today.
You've made it three weeks! You should be proud! Try to think about how good you've felt the past three weeks. And of course, make sure you've eaten and had some water. I'm proud of you for not drinking!
Now, go ahead and cry! What's pathetic about that? We've been so used to drowning our emotions. They just want to come out and be recognized. I've had those days too. I cried at the drop of a hat and then I felt better and went about my business.
Hang in there! /hugs
You've made it three weeks! You should be proud! Try to think about how good you've felt the past three weeks. And of course, make sure you've eaten and had some water. I'm proud of you for not drinking!
Now, go ahead and cry! What's pathetic about that? We've been so used to drowning our emotions. They just want to come out and be recognized. I've had those days too. I cried at the drop of a hat and then I felt better and went about my business.
Hang in there! /hugs
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by FacingFuture
Woohoo! I just got back from the Doctors office.
After 4 weeks of a good diet, excercise and most importantly not drinking poison, My blood pressure has gone from a scary 185/99 to 128/77!
After 4 weeks of a good diet, excercise and most importantly not drinking poison, My blood pressure has gone from a scary 185/99 to 128/77!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 625
Enfin, I know how you're feeling. It's good that you're insulated and not putting yourself in danger of drinking. I think that this really saved me in the early days...
Shoshie, 3 weeks! Congrats!! I'm sorry your OH is suddenly pulling a wild card :/ (btw what is a OH?) The rage will pass I promise. It's important to unmesh yourself from his experience... Relationships make us feel clumped together but try to return focus to yourself.
FF! 4 weeks and lower BP!! Congratulations!! BP was one of my original reasons for quitting. I noticed that the things my doctor was saying were all linked to quitting drinking. High BP, plantar fasciitis linked to rapid weight gain, inability to exercise due to lazy hangovers every other day, etc! Wow it's amazing how you got yourself out of the red!!! Great job
Shoshie, 3 weeks! Congrats!! I'm sorry your OH is suddenly pulling a wild card :/ (btw what is a OH?) The rage will pass I promise. It's important to unmesh yourself from his experience... Relationships make us feel clumped together but try to return focus to yourself.
FF! 4 weeks and lower BP!! Congratulations!! BP was one of my original reasons for quitting. I noticed that the things my doctor was saying were all linked to quitting drinking. High BP, plantar fasciitis linked to rapid weight gain, inability to exercise due to lazy hangovers every other day, etc! Wow it's amazing how you got yourself out of the red!!! Great job
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Well done ff, that's a proper reward, better health!!! I guess for 20 years my reward has been drink.... Somehow a cuppa doesn't seem so exciting.....
My world has just shrunk from work,kids, booze to just work n kids... I'm too tired for ahhobby!!!
I think I let myself get very hungry, and this is the result, a grown up tantrum. I want I want I want. All me me me, I just hate myself for being such an area, sorry
At least I have u guys. You are literally all that stopped me! Thanks
My world has just shrunk from work,kids, booze to just work n kids... I'm too tired for ahhobby!!!
I think I let myself get very hungry, and this is the result, a grown up tantrum. I want I want I want. All me me me, I just hate myself for being such an area, sorry
At least I have u guys. You are literally all that stopped me! Thanks
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Atlantic Beach, NY
Posts: 246
Originally Posted by enfinthechange
Now I am in bed on my own/ just crying..... Well trying not to, pathetic ....
Because this to shall pass.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 273
Hey Sparkos, Aaary and hello KimsFriend!
Good to check-in with you guys - managed to get up and over the craving which was a lot to do with my old first drink of the weekend routine. Tea, tea and more tea.
Sparkos, will get to that point with my OH too at some point I'm sure, I've just been giving alcohol a massive swerve for the last three weeks in every sense and I need to build defences and strategies for just being around it .
Aarry, yes I have spoken to the OH and again about it tonight. He's been pretty supportive so far, and I don't think it would be fair to view him bringing wine into the house as some massive betrayal of my sobriety; he really enjoys a couple of glasses over dinner and that's it. But he looks forward to it as a Friday/Saturday thing and as I'm the one with the alcohol problem, I think I need to figure out strategies for accommodating that rather than the other way around.
Exposure to alcohol isn't going to magically disasppear from day to day life any time soon short of moving to Kuwait so need to deal.
Back later. Kids.
Good to check-in with you guys - managed to get up and over the craving which was a lot to do with my old first drink of the weekend routine. Tea, tea and more tea.
Sparkos, will get to that point with my OH too at some point I'm sure, I've just been giving alcohol a massive swerve for the last three weeks in every sense and I need to build defences and strategies for just being around it .
Aarry, yes I have spoken to the OH and again about it tonight. He's been pretty supportive so far, and I don't think it would be fair to view him bringing wine into the house as some massive betrayal of my sobriety; he really enjoys a couple of glasses over dinner and that's it. But he looks forward to it as a Friday/Saturday thing and as I'm the one with the alcohol problem, I think I need to figure out strategies for accommodating that rather than the other way around.
Exposure to alcohol isn't going to magically disasppear from day to day life any time soon short of moving to Kuwait so need to deal.
Back later. Kids.
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